


Black and White

by audreyslove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 18:39:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 105,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14624706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyslove/pseuds/audreyslove
Summary: Picking up where 4B left off.  A camelot fic.





	1. Chapter 1

The darkness is spinning, churning, preparing for its next victim. Regina's trapped, ready to be consumed, to be eaten alive.

She watches Robin, watches him try to get to her, only to be flung back and fall hard on his back. She hates it, hates that she caused this man a lick of pain. He's been through enough thanks to her.

But then there's Emma. She takes the dagger, and she shouldn't – she can't – it's not right…

But she does.

The darkness leaves Regina feeling empty, guilty, and just a bit slighted. Death, it seems, will once again evade her.

Billows of black smoke flow through Emma, Emma, with words of hope and faith, telling her to save her, and it's all too much, the weight she feels on her shoulders at that moment.

She owes her everything.

But in a gust of smoke, Emma disappears into the night, leaving only the dagger to clink behind her.

From afar, everyone appears frozen in time – the Charmings are in tears, Hook looks stunned, that infuriating, slack jawed expression on his face as he attempts to process what had just happened, and Robin is holding onto her tightly, murmuring about the multiple times he had lost her since he met her.

Yet, the instant the dagger hit the pavement, Regina breaks this embrace and runs to the dagger with all the determination of a calculating predator. Her face was devoid of fear or mourning, just the look of a driven woman with a plan. And a plan is what she had, already. She was almost a little proud of herself. Now was a time for action, and she was going to coordinate all efforts to save Emma.

Rumpelstiltskin had been the Dark One for Regina's entire life. She never knew the man before he took on the role, of course, but there were tales that said he was a simple man, without any darkness, who only wanted the ability to protect his son.

His thirst for power was created by his transformation into the Dark One, and as much as anyone would hate to admit it, the same could happen to Emma.

Regina knows the dagger isn't safe with just  _ anyone _ . She needs to keep it safe while they sort out how to fix this and bring Emma back. And they  _ were _ fixing this. She wasn't going to let Emma be a martyr on her behalf. The very idea was intolerable. Her mind was going a mile a minute with potential plans to attack this new problem, when she focused on the first, and most obvious part of her plan first.

"I'm taking this for now. Emma will not be free to act under her own desires as the dark one. It isn't safe. I can handle it." Regina says cooly, holding up the dagger for her audience. "In the meantime…"

She turns to her audience and saw them slack jawed and frozen in fear.

"Regina, what are you going to do to her?" Snow screams through tears, interrupting Regina before she even explained her plan.

Regina furrows her brow in surprise, because surely, after everything she went through these past two years, surely no one thought she intended to do evil with this dagger. But as she looked at the faces around her she saw nothing but fear and anger.

She turned to Robin last. He looked confused and worried.

"Regina…what is going on?" He asks lightly, as if he was scared to trigger her into violence, or anger, or…did he think she would hurt him? The thought was almost too much to bear.

Regina realized the mask of the Evil Queen would never quite leave her. The emotions were overwhelming, but she had dealt with overwhelming emotions her whole life. Ignore them for now, handle the task at hand.

"Someone needs to keep this, to protect this, and to NOT give it to Emma," Regina curtly replies. "Trust me, she will ask for it. She will try to trick you into giving it to her. She will pull every trick Rumple played. It's not Emma's heart anymore doing this, it's the Dark One."

"Not Emma," David assures, "not my daughter. She will do the right thing. If we keep this from her, she will know we won't trust her. We've been down this road before. It ends badly. We're giving her the dagger. We're proving to her that we trust her."

"Like Belle trusted Gold." Regina points out defiantly. "Because that worked so well."

"Regina, Emma is not Rumpelstiltskin, she has the lightest magic of anyone. She would never harm anyone. Why are we even having this argument? She just sacrificed herself for you, didn't that prove anything to you?" Snow looked angry, and it was frustrating and painful at the same time to see how little she was trusted.

"Snow, did you know Rumpelstiltskin before he was the dark one?" Regina hates to use the Socratic Method, to ask questions she already knows the answer to, but sometimes, with Snow, this approach seems best.

"You know I didn't, what does it matter?"

"Ask Killian. He was just a man who loved his wife and loved his child. He was a cowardly imbecile, from what I heard. The Darkness changed him completely. God knows what it will do to Emma."

"Regina we won't know what Emma is like until we see her. We can't just start off like she's turned into evil. She's still our daughter." Charming squeezes the shoulders of his wife before approaching Regina.

Regina shakes her head. " _ I  _ will decide as to whether she can handle holding the dagger or not. I know dark magic better than anyone. And I know what it can do, and I know what it looks like."

"Give me the dagger, or I will stop at nothing until I have it." David was angry, passionate, and ready for a fight. Regina saw this argument was going nowhere, and sighed deeply. They were wasting precious time.

"I can't. I need to trust you, to not cave into emotion or any manipulation Emma may throw as the Dark One, to not surrender this to her. And I'm not going to waste time arguing."

Regina shot a look at Robin. His eyes were pleading at her, and what did  _ that look _ mean? She walked towards him and he took a slight, cautious step away from her, arms raised slightly, almost in surrender.

Pain rips through her at the realization that he is  _ scared  _ of her, that he thinks she's going to do something  _ evil,  _ and she could go down the rabbit hole of hurt and pain and lamenting the loss of another good man who was too good to be with her…but no, these were emotions that she didn't have time to process. Instead she turned around and focused on her step-daughter, who was giving her a cautious, suspicious eye.

Upon feeling Regina's glare, Snow raises her eyebrows hopefully. She is about to speak, but Regina waved her hand to interrupt.

"Snow, I need you to take care of Henry. Make sure he knows how much I love him and that I'm going to miss him."

And with that, Regina disappeared into a cloud of purple smoke.

.::.

Regina didn't transport herself too far. In fact, she wasn't far down Main Street, in front of the Coventry where Mother Superior was currently headed, on her walk back from Granny's.  _ Mother Superior _ , she thinks, such a good alias for the Blue fairy. All the judgmental, mock sense of propriety contained in one beautiful title.

"Blue." Regina calls, her voice cold and steady.

She succeeds in startling Blue. Of course, the fairy still harbored a lot of fear and hate of Regina - which she knew. But perhaps that fear of darkness, that hatred of things that were dark magic, would play to their advantage.

"Blue, I need you to hold onto something for me." Regina puts her emotions away, focusing on the task at hand. But the fairy shifts back at her voice. Perhaps she could hear the lack of emotion. Perhaps it reminded her of the Evil Queen. But no time for that now. Regina has much to do. So she ignores the deer-in-headlights look of the uppity nun and hands Blue the dagger, wrapped in a small piece of cloth.

"I'm not taking it until you explain what is going on," Blue looks at package with some suspicion until Regina removed the cloth surrounding the dagger to reveal the name "Emma Swan." Blue gasps.

"How? Did Rumple do this?" Blue asks.

"Emma did it to herself." Regina pauses, with a look of pain on her face. "She sacrificed herself for me. The Darkness flowed out of Rumple and became free, unattached to a person. It was going to suck everything out of me, and then Emma…Emma…she used the dagger to attach it to herself."

Blue listens intently, almost sympathetically.

"You and I both know what the magic of the Dark One can do. She did this for me, and I owe her a great debt. The town would never trust me with this, and when Emma goes looking for this, I need it in a safe place with someone I know won't use the dagger for evil. Please, keep it safe. You don't even have to tell anyone I gave it to you. Just….look out for Emma. Keep her safe. Protect her from others and protect her from herself. "

Regina pauses as her features soften, and she feels herself let her guard down just a little. "I…I owe her my life. And if I have to give my life for her, I will. I won't stop until I fix this, I swear it."

Blue stands in silence, looking at the dagger in Regina's hands while contemplating the very different sounding Evil Queen in front of her. It was a lot to process. She looked into Regina's eyes, filled with unshed tears with a look of pure anguish on her face.

Could she change?

"If what you say is true you should keep the dagger," Blue says with a thin smile, "If you mean Emma no harm, why give this away?"

Regina sighs, fights the instinct to roll her eyes. "Tonight I learned the Evil Queen lives in everyone's memory, the town will be terrified if I keep this. More terrified of me than they already are."

Regina folds the dagger back up in the cloth and pushed the object into Blue's hands, who reluctantly took it. She reminded herself again that the dagger would be safe with Blue and the rest of the fairies. Emma would not expect Regina to hand the dagger to the fairies, given her complicated past with Blue. Yet she trusted the fairies to protect magic. That was, in essence, one of their strong suits despite their inability to use dark magic. Yes, this was a good decision.

And there was Blue, looking at her very differently than she had all her life. There was something in there – not quite sympathy – not quite understanding…maybe it was respect. Or Trust. Whatever it was, that simple kind look Blue gave her was nearly tearing her apart.

"Thank you, Blue." Blue lifts an eyebrow in surprise. It was still unusual to hear the queen give thanks for anything, especially in such a solemn and sincere way.

After a slight pause, she grew out of her shock and muttered a _You're quite_ _welcome._ Regina nodded in response, feeling a ting of something behind her eyes...tears? Was she really breaking now, in front of mother fucking superior? No, this would not do.

And in a flash, she poofs away, avoiding the close call entirely.

.::.

As soon as Regina disappears from in front of them in the street, Snow screams her daughter's name. Hook put a hand gingerly on her shoulder as she collapsed into tears.

"Not sure my opinion is worth much, especially these days, but I don't think Regina would ever hurt Emma." Hook says quietly.

"The power of holding the dagger, though, who knows what impact it will have on Regina." Charming looked angrily in the distance. "We have to prepare for the worst."

Snow nods "He's right, and if we don't have the dagger, and Emma believes we don't trust her…she could react…"

"She could react like Regina did just then, when none of us trusted her." He reminds them, pointedly. "As someone with my own dark past, I can understand where she's coming from. Regina just saved us all, and not but a few hours later we're accusing her of going dark again? Did you hear her try to stop Emma from using the dagger? She didn't want Emma to do this to her."

Snow fidgets a bit, her eyes darting downward. "Did you see her eyes light up when she saw that dagger? Did you see how fast she ran to get it? I don't like the idea of Regina holding a device that will control my daughter. She could use Emma as a weapon against her enemies…and let's face it, she still has quite a few enemies. I may trust Regina more than I did in the past but I do NOT trust her enough to have that sort of power."

"None of us do." Charming says quietly.

"But who else can be trusted?" Robin asks. "Rumple gave his dagger to Belle.  _ Regina  _ gave Rumple's dagger to Belle before, remember? A lot of good that did both times. In the hands of loved ones, the dagger isn't safe. Regina was right. Emma could con that dagger right out of my hands with a bat of an eye."

Snow pauses to consider the impact Emma's pleading would have on her, or all of them. "Why didn't either of you say this while she was still here?" Snow asks, eyes still focused on the pavement.

Hook shrugs. "Hadn't really thought of it at the time, I was still processing everything and worrying about your daughter. Who loves me, if you didn't hear it. Or…loved me. Not sure what will happen now…The point is, Regina and I might not get along but I understand her. And, well, Regina thinks fast. Even in times of extreme crisis. But she's never much liked explaining herself. If she had given us a few minutes…."

"I still don't want her with that type of power over Emma." Charming adds.

"I hate to break up this party but I can't help but wonder where Henry is?" Robin said, interrupting the spiral of worry the Charmings seemed to be sending themselves into. "And how we're exactly going to tell all of this to him?"

Snow shoots a terrified look at David. "God, he's with Ruby at Granny's, he has no idea what just happened. What are we going to tell him?"

"I hope you don't plan to tell him that you don't trust his own mother. Regina may be able to stand a lot of pain but if you turn her son against her…" It scared him, how in one foul swoop all the trust and love he had earned from Regina seemed to be disappearing. He had not rushed to protect her. He was paralyzed by conflicting emotions and had just stood there while she was accused of evil intentions yet again. And now, he would suffer for it.

Snow shakes her head "We won't do that. We will tell him Emma saved Regina and Regina is trying to return the favor."

David looked at Snow and nods his head. "Do we all truly believe that?" he finally asks looking around at everyone. Did they?

Snow speaks up at once. "I've seen Regina change. I can't believe she would ever do anything to hurt Emma."

David shook his head "She won't hurt Emma - that would just hurt Henry. But if she used Emma to hurt Zelena? To hurt Rumple? To hurt Isaac? Or Maleficent? Who knows how many other enemies she has Emma won't be able to forgive herself if she's used to kill someone – even if it's against her will."

Snow is silent for a moment, then looks determined. "It's scary, but we have to trust her. We have to have faith. And we need to make sure Henry keeps that faith."

Robin hangs back as the rest of the crowd moves towards Granny's. "I need to find her. I need to talk to her, I can't get that look she gave me out of my mind, she was so disappointed, she was so hurt….I can't imagine what she's going through."

Snow, Robin realizes, is all too aware of how Regina reacts when she's been hurt, and she does not underestimate the situation. "Regina is very good at keeping people out when she doesn't want to be found." she offers matter-of-factly, "but I can't believe she will want to keep you out for long. Good luck, we'll tell Henry you're out looking for his mom."

.::.

The party is dying down at Granny's diner, but there are still many people there celebrating quite enthusiastically. The music is loud, a few people were drunk enough to sing along to the catchy refrain of a familiar song, and, hell, Leroy was laughing and making up lyrics. The noise of Granny's has somewhat insulated the town from what was going on outside. Many town people are still celebrating.

Snow, Charming and Hook reached the little restaurant looking like they had just been through a battle. It was Granny who first took notice of them. She groans as if to say  _ Here we go again _ .

"What in the hell happened to you all?" Granny calls out.

"What happened to Rumple?" Ruby asks more out of curiosity than concern.

"He's alive, but not conscious," Charming assures. "Sucking all that darkness out of his heart was difficult. He has to learn how to survive without being the dark one. And it's going to be hard. As Belle looked down worriedly he touched her shoulder. "I hope it's not too late for him" he says to her.

Snow grabs an unsuspecting Henry by the arm, and pulls him towards the door of Granny's. "Henry sweetie we need to talk to you." Snow shuffles Henry out the door, ignoring his protests.

"Where's my mom….and my other mom?" Henry's voice is worried and startled, as he's undoubtedly picked up on the somber mood. "Did…did they get hurt? Is it ok?"

"Henry, honey…" Snow starts

"No, they aren't dead." Henry's eyes widen, he looks in shock. And of course he'd think the worst has happened, why wouldn't he?

"No, no, sweetie, they are both alive."

Snow quickly told Henry about the dark one, how the magic had become lose and attacked Regina, and how Emma had saved her by becoming the dark one. All the while, Snow, David and Hook waited for Henry to scream out, or cry. He was listening, fists clenched, but not interrupting.

"Where did Emma go?" he asks, "after she…turned?"

David sighs "She disappeared. We have no idea where she went. Maybe you can help us with that."

"And the dagger?" Henry asks.

"Regina took it." Snow said. "But she only took it —"

"She took it to keep Emma safe. Of course. Where is she? I want to help her. I know her, she won't let herself sleep until she pays back my mom She doesn't like owing people favors."

It's an obnoxious thing, when a preteen boy is smarter than you are. Killian, Snow and David trade guilty looks.

"Henry, you are a smart boy…smarter than us…" Snow starts.

Henry looks puzzled "What did you do to her? What did you say to her?"

David interjects "It was mostly me. When I saw her run for the dagger, I became worried she was going to — "

Henry looks at him, almost disgusted. "But you didn't tell her you thought she was going to be evil again? You didn't let her know you didn't trust her?"

Everyone was silent. They had exercised poorer judgment than that of a 13 year old boy who was quickly making them feel foolish and idiotic.

"Now I don't have either mom, because of you!" Henry clenches his hands into fists, his brow furrows into a scowl, teeth baring as he says through clenched teeth. "Where's Robin?"

Henry's words particularly impacted Snow. This was not going well for Henry. "He went to find Regina, Henry he wanted you to know that Regina…"

"I don't need to know anything from him, I  _ know  _ who my mom is! You don't!" Henry pauses thinking of his mom being accused of wrongdoing by all of his loved ones, and then his thoughts fell to Robin. "…Did he at least defend her?"

David sighs. "Things happened so fast, Henry, it was….too fast."

Henry looks at his grandparents with anger. "I lost my mom," he repeats, "maybe forever. Because of you. And if Regina can't save Emma because her heart is so broken I lost both moms because of you!"

Henry starts to walk away. David grabbed his shoulder "Henry, please…"

Henry broke into a run "Leave me alone!" he screamed before escaping into the moonlight.

David shot a glance at Snow and Hook "I'll go after him."

Hook shakes his head "Leave the boy a little time. He's not a child anymore. He needs his time to grieve as much as anyone else. Just a little while. Besides, we need to tell everyone else and I'd rather him not there for that."

David and Snow nod, and they all entered Granny's, bracing for the worst.

Granny's is still a sea of celebration. It was a reminder to Snow how blissful it was to live in the moment, to know everything would be alright because they were in the hands of good leaders. They were truly happy without having to worry about the constant threats to the town. Snow felt a soft twinge of jealousy. After all she had been through, she would never be as carefree and happy as they were. She turns to David and hook, their expressions a stark contrast to the smiling faces around them.

_ These are my people, and this is where I belong  _ thought Snow, as she smiles weakly at David. She belonged a step away from the blissful, ignorant happiness of some, into happiness earned from overcoming adversity. But with those wonderful, happy moments came equally dark and miserable times. And that was the life of a hero. With that, her jealousy at the townspeople left her body. She would not have chosen it any other way. Determined, Snow began to break the news to the town.

"Listen up everyone, we have a big problem." Snow stands on a chair to silence the commotion around her. Music stopped and audible moaning was heard from people, tired of the constant rollercoasters they had underwent.

"The Dark One escaped from Rumple. It went free, but then it….it tied itself to Emma. She's now, she's the Dark one."

Snow waits for the ruckus of worried, hushed voices whisper around her.

"Well what does that mean? Ruby asks "I mean it's Emma, she can't be dark. Shouldn't she just be…fine?"

"I would hope, but we can't find her now, sadly, to figure that out." Hook's voice broke just a little as he tried to keep everyone calm, including himself.

"Who has the dagger?" Leroy asked. Which one of you have it? Can you keep it from her until we know what we're dealing with? Because I don't trust old hook-for-a-hand to keep a secret from Emma let alone a dagger."

"Regina has the dagger." Snow answers apprehensively, waiting for a storm.

Instead there was just silence for several seconds, and then the familiar sound of many hushed voices.

"That's probably for the best" Belle muses after what seemed like minutes. "If anyone can protect the dagger it's her."

"As long as she doesn't use it, and let the power go to her head again, I guess…." One of the fairies trailed off in a concerned way, unsure of who to feel.

"Oh and we all know she's never let power go to her head before." Leroy taunts, spirited on by other dwarves who agreed with him. "Come on, we have to figure out how to handle Regina AND the new Dark One now."

"No" David insists, "Regina's been our biggest ally for years now. We have to trust her. She may have done horrible things but she has made great sacrifices for us. And my daughter just made a huge sacrifice to save Regina's life and her happiness. I don't want that to be in vain."

"I trust the girl quite a bit. I'm not sure I can trust her with that dagger." Granny quips skeptically.

Blue enters the diner then, drifts in unnoticed amongst the worried, terrified faces. She locks eyes Tinkerbelle, and motions her to follow her out the door and onto the patio of the charming little diner. Moments later, Tinkerbelle appears through the front door as Blue slips in through the back door, taking a seat next to the fairies with a calm, confident smile.

"Listen everyone! No one has to worry about what Regina will do with the dagger." Tink is drowned out by the numerous fights breaking out amongst the townspeople. Tink sighs, and then stood on the bar top and whistles loudly, quieting the crowd. "No one has to worry because Regina doesn't have the dagger!"

The diner became dead quiet until Granny broke the silence "Okay, who has it now?"

"Did someone steal it from her?" Archie asks, his face cringing slightly.

"Don't tell me Rumple gained consciousness already." Will groans.

"She gave it to Robin, didn't she?" Ruby looks to Tinkerbelle for an answer.

"Did  _ you _ manage to steal it from her?" one of the dwarves asked Tinkerbelle, almost impressed.

Tink has always been uneasy with negative emotions, but she's prepared herself for this attention, and nodded in her direction. Tinkerbelle took a deep breath.

"I can't tell you who has the dagger, or where it is. Not right now. But I can say Regina voluntarily gave it up, to keep it safe, to keep Emma safe. And Regina is working on a way to help. Please don't be frightened of her after all this. We know when people are suspicious of her it throws her off the edge. That's all I can say or will say. We're just going to have to work on fixing Emma now."

With that, Tinkerbelle walked through the crowd to a booth with the rest of the fairies, ignoring questions and comments from the crowd. Blue shot her an approving glance and squeezed her hand. "Sorry, I know that was rough" she whispers.

Tinkerbelle shrugs as if to say  _ What are you going to do? _ . The crowd eventually shifts and separates, as people splinter off and go home. Snow assures everyone that they are fine, and calls a town hall meeting for the next evening.

.::.

Regina's vault is a mess. Nearly every book in her possession lies on the floor beneath her, all in search of any trace of Merlin. She itches to clean up, afterall, she has every intention of this vault being her home until she could find a way to save Emma. There was a tiny washroom and a bedroom behind the mirror. It is all she needs. She could deal with the outside world later. Now she just needs to focus.

But Robin is Robin, so she's not surprised to hear him on the other side of the vault, interrupting her solitude. Of course he'd run to the vault. This wasn't quite a hiding place, now was it? It was the most obvious place she'd go in this situation. Her safe place.

"Regina!" he shouts, banging on the door, "Please, let me in, I need to talk to you."

"If you're looking for the dagger, it's not here. It's been put somewhere safe. Happy hunting, thief." Regina responds dryly.

Regina marvels at how cool and detached she sounds. For the past hour, she had been struggling to control her emotions. She had intended to sit and read everything she could on lightening a dark heart, and read everything she could on the stories of Merlin, the man the apprentice urged them to find to fix this…but not even Regina could keep her emotions at bay permanently. Not even in her…. _ condition.  _ The look Robin gave her when he saw her pick up the dagger was what she saw every time she closed her eyes. That fear. That disappointment. That distrust. From the person she loved most.

"Regina," Robin sounds impatient and angry, and no, he has no right to either emotion. She is the one hurting. She is the one who gave him that look of pure terror before she left. She is the one vulnerable and sad now, and he should give her space, let her heal before he bombards her. Still he apparently can't stop himself from pressing further, "I will break down this door if I have to."

Regina laughs, a guttural, sad laugh. "Don't bother, I put up a protection spell, and you won't be able to get in even if you do break down the door. I would have put a blood lock on it, but, of course, for  _ some reason _ my evil sister is around and we know they don't work against her."

.::.

Robin winces at the reminder of Zelena. Regina had come to terms with that entire situation quite easily, or perhaps she had never really dealt with it at all. Perhaps she had kept her emotions in check to spare his feelings. Once again he thought he should leave, it would be the gentleman-y thing to do. Once again, he found himself betraying his better judgment. "Regina, I need to talk to you."

"If you're so worried about me just guard the entrance and ask me questions every ten minutes." He hears pure venom in her voice when she adds, "I can promise you I won't leave this vault to do whatever evil you think I'll do."

Robin shook his head from outside the vault, in disbelief over how badly this conversation was going how terribly she must have thought of him in one second.

"Regina I don't think you would do anything of the sort! How could I? I knew you'd be here working on Emma. Working to save her. You knew that everyone would find you here – of course we'd look here first. But you didn't care, you went here because you want to help Emma." Robin pushes against the doors again, pleading with the hinges to give and break. "Regina, you know how I feel about you. You know how it felt to not be able to talk to me for months? I will feel that every day, every minute, until I get to see you."

There is silence for a little while and then Robin let out his last negotiation piece, "And Roland will suffer if you won't let me in, because I won't leave this spot. I will starve out here before I leave you again. Regina, please."

.::.

Regina catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her makeup is running, her face is rough and ragged, eyes bleary from the emotional exhaustion of a very long day. This isn't how she wants to be seen – not by anyone. And so, for the first time in so long (since the year that was missing to them for so long) she decides to use magic to hide ask her pain from Robin. She would have never have done this to Robin before – concealed her feelings or pain from him. But now, she realized Robin didn't trust her. And she, in turn, did not want to expose anymore of herself to Robin. She did not want him to know how much she felt for him or how much he hurt her. So she magics away the puffiness of the eyes, the redness of her eyes, the running splotches of her makeup, and paints herself a new face – a pristine, clean face free of the emotion of the day.

"Alright, I'll let you in to spare Roland pain," she gives, "but leave all your weapons."

.::.

Robin's heart stings at Regina's words, realizing a part of her must think he'd want to hurt her. The true impact of how much of their relationship had been undone in a few seconds was hitting him. Or maybe it had been undone in the months apart. Maybe it was undone more than she said when she saw a pregnant Zelena. He removes his sword, his bow, and his arrows. And when the last weapon was removed, the door opens Regina had been watching him out there, he realized. Probably through a mirror.

Robin rushes in and immediately folds Regina into his arms. Thinking of how much she must have hurt, and how little she believed in him – believed in them – was too much for him. He acted on pure emotion, barely able to contain his tears. But he held her tight, tighter than he ever had before, despite the fact Regina refused to respond. She was stiff and cold and emotionless. It pained Robin, but he couldn't let her go.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I couldn't think as fast as you…you were right, we all know that now. Regina, please you have to know how I feel."

.::.

It's a very little known secret about Regina: she likes being held. Perhaps it is because she so rarely had that type of affection from anyone (kissing, and touching and groping, and guiding and leaning on her, she's used to that, but holding, hugging, never that). She shouldn't like this as much as she does, not from someone who doesn't truly believe in her, doesn't truly accept her. But still, she likes being held. So she allows herself to stay in his arms just a bit longer. Regina allowed herself to be held just a bit longer. She inhaled his scent and tried to believe his words. But too much had happened between them. She couldn't believe him.

"I saw the way you looked at me." Her voice starts off steady, but then goes shaky and cracks.  _ Damnit.  _ She didn't want to get weak and sad on him, but the emotional wall was crumbling, even when she had focused all her efforts at preventing this. Things could get dangerous if she didn't get it together. Regina didn't know how to hide her sadness without replacing it with anger. And she could not unleash that much anger out into the world, not now, not with Emma in so much need of help.

"No, it wasn't that at all." He breathes the words against her neck and holds her tighter.

"I saw it." Regina repeats, and all at once Regina let down her guard just a little, as she felt her eyes well up. "I thought you knew me better." She finally pushes him away, and turns to the little bedroom in the vault, briefly remembering the last time she had used that little room Robin had also been here, though it was in a much different capacity. "But I should have known better. I see how everyone looks at me, and you try but…you can't see me differently."

Robin instinctively sat on her bed next to her, cupping her face in his hands. She resisted slightly, but did not push him away. She felt Robin's thumb rub her cheek as he had done months ago, and almost felt as if they were being taken back to that time, to that time when there was no Zelena, and no ice curse. When it was just the two of them, falling in love.

"It's been a long day." Robin offers after looking seeing her face soften, almost feeling her guard drop just a little. "It seems as if you've forgotten some truths. You will never be anything else but a hero to me. And nothing short as amazing. Regina, nearly two seconds after Emma disappeared, you had a plan. I wasn't there yet. I was still trying to process the fact I almost lost the love of my life. It was too much, I needed a second. And then you jumped so quickly…it felt like…surreal. I  _ was _ scared, I was terrified, I had almost lost you. And I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know if the darkness hurt you. I didn't know if something happened. I had to take a second to work past everything. But you…" he brushes some of the hair away from her face and tilted her head up to him, so they could look each other in the eyes. "Right away, you knew what to do. How do you do that? We were all so…frozen. And you…sometimes you are so logical in a crisis it scares us."

Regina took in all he said, and tried to understand his position. "It's hard to explain," she responds, looking down. "It's an instinct. You just put all your fear, all your worries aside. Almost all emotions, period. Except the drive, the desire to defeat whatever's in your way. You become…"

"Almost robotic?" Robin ventures.

Regina nodded. "Very logical. You focus on what needs to be done, not what you feel, and not what everyone else must feel. It's a way certain people react in a crisis. Very few people. Emma, she has it too. And…."

Robin prodded "And?"

Regina shrugs still unable to look him in the eyes. "I feel it in Henry sometimes" she whispers.

"Lucky boy, then." Robin responds almost as a question.

Regina shook her head and laughed bitterly "No, not a lucky boy. If you hadn't noticed, reacting this way doesn't exactly inspire confidence from others. It has served me well, but it's very lonely."

Robin traced his fingers down Regina's hair, onto her shoulder and over her heart. She tried to pull away, but as soon as he touched, he knew.

"Your heart's gone." Robin points out worriedly. "What are you planning on doing to yourself?"

Regina smiles weakly. "It was distracting me. It's been distracting me for a while. Right now, I need to think. I need to save Emma. I can't let my feelings lead me down a whirlwind path like they have in the past."

"How long has it been out of you?" He asks softly. And he knew, he had to know, it wasn't just tonight. But there was no point in telling him she had to take it out of her when they got back from New York, after she made that mistake with the author and almost cursed Zelena out of existence. That was the result of her actions being led by her heartbreak, and she couldn't risk it happening again when so much was at stake. She wasn't going to answer him. Instead she just looked down.

Robin wasn't going to press her on specifics. She clearly didn't want to go into it, and he didn't want to hear the extent of the pain he had caused her. Instead he just shook his head "This isn't a long-term solution, eventually you're going to have face what you feel, Regina, this could make things worse."

Regina shakes her head. "I know. I've done this before – I know what I'm doing. As soon as I figure out how to find Merlin – or at least how to get to Camelot – I'll tell you what we need to do. And then I'll deal with my…" Regina grimaces, "my,  _ feelings.  _ But I need to do that alone. Where I can't hurt anyone." Regina shudders as memories of the past haunted her thoughts – times when her emotions had caused her to do horrible, unspeakable things.

The thought of Regina dealing with everything that had been bothering her alone – a large portion of them being things Robin himself was responsible for or contributed to - was simply unacceptable. He caused this, he would end it. "I won't leave you." Robin says, decidedly. "I won't leave you to suffer through all that without me."

"That's not safe. You don't know how I react when I feel like this." She pauses for a moment and looked at him, as if remembering something. "Actually, you do. You've heard the stories and the stories of the Evil Queen are, unfortunately, very true." Regina sighed, walked off the bed and pretended to look at a spell book.

"I'm trapping myself in here. I'll seal it with dark magic, the seal that can only be broken by light magic. And I have light magic. Once I ride out the storm, I'll be able to use light magic to break myself out, and no one will be harmed."

Robin scoffs. "Except you. No, that's unacceptable." He got up from the bed and stroked her shoulders behind her. "I'll stay with you. Regina, I trust you with my life. I know you can't hurt me."

"I'm sorry, Robin, but I don't trust myself. You have to go now."

Robin rolled his eyes and frowns. "Not happening. So what is Plan B?"

"You have to go to Roland and make sure he's ok." Regina reminds him, "and make sure…make sure the town doesn't turn him against me. And for that matter…see Henry too. I need to know he is not scared of me. And I…. have to study all this…" Regina pointed to piles of books littering the vault. "And….I won't be able to concentrate with you right here." Those last words almost sound lighthearted, despite the fact she did not mean them as such. She'd get little work done with Robin here because even without her heart she still was broken up about everything, and the heartache and pain was worse when he was in front of her. She needed to get away from him.

Robin's face turns from defensive to pensive. "I will leave, but I will be back tomorrow. And you  _ will _ let me back in, and you  _ will _ put your heart back with me here. And we  _ will _ handle this together. Those are my terms. If you don't agree, I won't leave. And you'll have to forcibly throw me out. And that would be very unbefitting of a lady such as yourself, don't you agree?"

Somehow, Robin seemed unfazed by the seriousness ahead and managed to continue to be flirtatious. Still, the lightened mood made Regina smile. "Go to Roland. I'll see you tomorrow."

Robin smiles and drew her into a hug. "Thank you." She was still stiff in his arms, but she's fighting with instincts, trying not to give him affection that he so clearly didn't deserve. But he was selfish, and desperately wanted some sign that this was all going to be alright, that they would get through it the way they got through everything else, so he clung to her tighter and whispered in her ear "I will make all of this up to you, I promise."

Sure enough, after he said those words, he felt her hugging him back, sinking into him. Just a bit, just enough to show him she heard him and at least wanted to believe him. He breathed out a relieved sigh, as he ran his fingers through her hair, tracing his other hand up and down her spine. She didn't melt under his touch, but she wasn't pushing him away, and he was glad he was getting to touch her. And it had been awhile since he touched her.

"God I've missed you so much," he breathes, a little throatier, a little more passionate, and Regina hated the way those words made her shiver. Because, to be fair, she had missed him touching her too.

She breathed in to avoid making a more…inappropriate sound.

It had been so long since they had been to bed together. They hadn't even spent much time alone with each other since she saw him in New York. And without her heart, her dulled fear and anger at Robin and the world was replaced by a more carnal lust. He smelled of earth and pine trees and bonfire smoke. He knew exactly where to touch to her to please her. And she hadn't had that in a long time.

Slowly, Robin moved her head up to his, Regina looked into his eyes. They were a bit darker, it was the lustful look he'd give her before he tore her clothes off, before he grabbed her and pulled her into some corner to kiss her and touch her for a few private moments.

It was that look all over again. She could just melt into the moment, and worry about Emma later.

But before she could even consider giving into lust, Regina found herself wondering how many times he had looked at her sister with the same dark, hungry eyes.

And that spoiled the mood.

Regina softly, ever so slightly turns away to avoid his kiss. She presses into Robin deeper, hoping he wasn't too hurt. She isn't ready for all this just yet. When she finally looks at him, he looks as if he had been punched in the stomach. "I'm sorry" Regina says "I'm just—"

"No need to apologize, it was my fault. I thought I sensed something…I had no right." The disappointment and rejection was evident in his eyes, and Regina felt a twinge of guilt.

She tries to think of what to say to put his mind at ease, but he filled the silence with a question – "Please say I can still see you tomorrow?"

'Yes, of course. You can see me." Regina quickly focuses her thoughts on Emma. She needed to get back to saving Emma, not working on a relationship. That could wait. "But now, I need to work."

Robin nods, and reached for her hand, his fingers intertwined with hers. He bends her hand up to kiss it, relieved to feel no resistance from her. "I will be back. Good luck, Regina."

With that, Robin ran out of the vault. Regina sealed the vault up again, and sat back down to study.


	2. Chapter 2

Robin runs all the way back to his camp, which looks untouched by the chaos that had erupted in the town. The camp was so far removed from the main roads of Storybrooke that it was unlikely word had traveled back this far at this point.

Robin checks on Roland first, who was fast asleep in John's tent, tucked in and safe under several covers, perhaps too many covers for the weather last night, as his face was flushed and red, his hair plastered and stuck to his wet forehead. Still he looked peaceful and happy. Robin removed one of the blankets and pressed a kiss on his hair. Roland did not stir.

Upon leaving the tent, he noticed Little John and Will's darkened forms for the first time, sitting by a dwindling fire. They were sharing stories, or trading jokes – something that had each of them laughing violently at various times, and Robin hoped Little John hadn't decided to partake in whiskey on the night he was supposed to be babysitting Roland. Clearly they weren't aware of what had happened just a few hours ago.

Robin approaches them quietly, and it was Little John who first noticed and waved him over.

"What happened with the queen?" Little John asks, causing Will to laugh again.

"Didya get thrown out of her lair?" Will mocks, a twinkle in his eye.

Whiskey. There was definitely whiskey. But there would be time for a lecture later on how sobriety is needed when one is watching over a child.

"Is there anyone awake who is sober enough to understand me?" Robin snips back mpatiently.

"Come on, mate, we're ok," John replies, "Just happy, y'know?"

John's words weren't slurred, and Robin didn't want to argue or get into it right now. So he launched into the story of the night, how Emma was now the dark one, how Regina was focused on finding a cure, how there was a need to find some sort of sorcerer named "Merlin".

John and Will listen, and slowly their lighthearted smirks turned into solemn stares.

"Can't catcha break in this town, can ya?" Will jokes in a light tone to break the mood. "As soon as we solve one thing another thing pops up."

Robin shrugs, as if he hadn't noticed. As if he hadn't been a part of some of the worst twists that had happened since they ended up in Storybrooke.

"Keeps things interesting, I guess…" Will offers. "You lot will figure this one out too."

"I hope so." Though fighting against Emma – hell fighting anything  _ without _ Emma's help, seemed like quite a challenging task – the most challenging so far. He wasn't so sure how this would end.

"Listen, I'll be back, I just need to run into town to check in on Henry." Robin focuses on John, his voice turning apologetic. "I may need you to watch over Roland for a little longer. Easy on the whiskey?"

Little John interjects. "You want to leave the little boy a night's sleep? You know it's about three in the morning…and you look worse for the wear. I'll watch after Roland as long as you want. We all could use a night's rest."

Robin silently agrees. As tired as he is, he sleeps restlessly, next to his son, in Little John's cramped tent. He rises at the first hint of dawn, far earlier than the people of this world , it's eearly, very early, but the Charming's have had enough sleep. They could rest again after he everyone is sure Henry was alright.

.::.

When Robin approaches the Charming's apartment the sun is just making its way up the sky, with warm, patterns of purple and yellow forming under a still dark night. It must be earlier than 6 AM, and he will be interrupting the princess and prince as they sleep. He's surprised to see light coming from the cracks in the door, and the noises of worried voices in hushed tones are audible from outside the door. Something is not right.

Robin knocks, and the door was answered almost immediately by a sleep deprived and worried Snow.

"Robin thank god, did you find Regina?"

Robin nods, "I did, she's upset, I disappointed her greatly but –"

"Was Henry with her?" David interrupts.

Robin shook his head, confused. "Henry….no. She asked me to make sure Henry was ok…Henry's not here?"

"He ran away when he heard about how we treated Regina." Snow's eyes twitch, a combination of lack of sleep and nerves, he supposes. She looks…lost. Maybe a bit guilty.

"And we've looked everywhere Robin, we really have, I could only think of two things, he's with Regina or he's with Emma. We need Regina to do the tracking spell on him, can you take us to her?"

Robin thinks carefully. "Regina is working on finding Emma. She asked me not to bother her…for a bit."

Snow could not look any more exasperated if she tried eyes rolling to the very back of the head before she argues, "She's going to understand, it's her son's life, so we need to tell her."

But one of the last things Robins wants is the Charmings bombarding Regina after they had just accused her of turning dark again. It wouldn't end well. "Emotionally….I'd give her some time. And let's give Henry the tiniest of credit. He did just save the entire town. Now, where have you checked?"

Snow and Charming give a full recap of every place they had been – from the library, to Gold's shop, to Zelena's farm house, to the little playground he had used as a child, Regina's mansion, Regina's office, Hook's house…nowhere.

Robin listens, checking off places where Henry wouldn't be.

"You didn't check my camp?" He thinks about Henry, thinks about the time he spent with the Merry Men, and more importantly thinks about what Henry would want to say to  _ him. _

Snow shaks her head. "We figured you would have seen him if he was there…"

Robin nods. "I was there. But I didn't know to look for him. Let me check. Why not check the hospital and Hook's ship? We'll meet back in a bit."

.::.

Robin runs all the way back to camp. He thinks of what Regina had said. In crisis, at times, Regina can extract emotion and focus on the task at hand. And she sees that same quality in Henry. If Henry is focused on saving Emma, he probably has his own plan. Ordinarily, Robin would have assumed Henry would have been knocking alongside him in front of Regina's vault. But for some reason, he wasn't there. Or, maybe he was. Maybe he thought Regina needed to speak to Robin before she was strong enough. Maybe he had spent the whole night silently waiting for Robin to come back. It was worth a shot.

It is still early, the smells of morning dawn and fresh dew on the forest ground, as Robin quietly makes his way through camp, checking for hiding places amongst the grounds. In the end, he can find no trace of Henry, and returns to his own tent. When he draws back the flap of the tent he cannot help but smile.

Henry had been waiting for him. And it seems he's fallen asleep waiting, as he was still sitting up his legs crossed, with his back hunched forward and his head fallen into his chest, almost as if he were in deep meditation. Silently, Robin puts his hand on the boy's back and shakes him a little. Henry doesn't move, but sighs a little.

"Henry?" He whispers his name, and just that small amount of noise has Henry nearly jumping out of his tent, looking frustrated and excitable and…dedicated.

"How's my mom, I know you saw her, is she alright? Does she know how to help Emma? Does my mom think Emma's going to be okay? Does she need me?" He looks at Robin with what can only be described as a combination of anger and disgust. Where he had once enjoyed Robin's company, Robin feared Henry no longer saw him in the same light. Now he was the man who had repeatedly hurt his mother, embarrassed his mother, left his mother, who constantly relied on his mother yet never gave back what she needed in the worst time.

Robin will try to earn his trust back, or at least to earn his respect. So he decides to be honest with him. "She's worried about you, we were all worried. I left her to her work on a plan to fix Emma. You should see her."

Henry shakes his head in a defiant  _ no _ . "I'm not interrupting her now, she doesn't need distractions. She needs to work. And you are staying with me. Away from her."

Robin bites his lip and grimaces. "That's going to be a difficult promise to make, Henry, because I promised I'd see her today. I have to help her. But, I will hurry right back. And you," Robin, pretends not to feel the icy chill between the two and reaches out to mess with Henry's hair, "you should go back with your grandparents, and Hook."

Henry rolls his eyes. "I'm not going back to any of them! They don't know what to do. They don't know how to help. I'd rather be alone. I do fine on my own, you know."

The boy has a point. As boys go, he can handle himself just fine, and Storybrooke was safe. He is thirteen, and children in the Enchanted Forest at that age already spend several nights off on their own. So Robin is unable to argue, sensing forcing him back home would only distance him further.

Robin sighs. "Alright, so what do you suggest? I can't break a promise to your mom, I need to go back to the vault. Are you coming there with me?"

"I'll wait until she asks for me. Alone. I'm looking for Emma."

Robin tilts his head. "Henry I know Emma seems the furthest thing from dark, but…"

"Even Rumpelstiltskin never hurt his son!" Henry points out, "at least, not intentionally."

And of course, he knew that was what everyone was afraid of – at least at this point. Emma unintentionally hurting Henry. He put the thought out of his mind. "Maybe she'll sense how much I need her and she'll find me."

It's delicate, telling a boy that his mother might turn homicidal at any point, so he leaves it be for a bit. "You really should take someone else with you on this quest. We rarely let anyone wander off on their own. Consider staying around here for a bit?"

Henry shrugs his shoulders and made his way out the tent, somewhat pleased that Robin had treated him more like an adult than a child, and was letting him make a rather bold decision.

"I'm not leaving town or wandering off into the woods. But I'm not staying around here."

He continues on his way, muttering "Whatever my mom wants from you, I hope you're good enough to help." In a voice that was  _ just  _ loud enough for Robin to hear.

Robin is sure to call Snow to let her know that Henry was safe, yet not exactly accounted for. She disagrees with the ultimate decision to leave him be, but David seems to see his side, and Hook was emphatic that they trust the boy's instincts.

Robin has breakfast with his son, trying to keep his demeanor smooth, but Roland has always been a perceptive boy, and notices something is wrong immediately. A myriad of questions falls out of the little boy's mouth, questions about Henry, and Regina, and Emma, and the prince and princess. He wants to see them all, wants to go to Granny's for pancakes, but Robin tells him Granny's has to wait, that John is cooking his special eggs just for him. It seems to settle his son, for a bit. And while Roland is distracted by John and Will, with the promises of fishing, Robin kissed him goodbye and told him he would be back after a nap.

With that, father and son part, Roland off to fish, and Robin off in search of Regina

.::.

Regina hasn't slept.

The floor of the vault is littered with books open and bookmarked to various passages, some pages torn and ripped. Regina is hunched over a growing list of ideas she's writing on parchment. She feels herself reeling, her mind racing, ideas pinging off of her her mind racing a mile a minute.

Finding Merlin will be harder than she had thought – for many people who claim to have seen Merlin saw him in different times, different realms, and different shapes. He is a shapeshifter, a son of demon warlock, a love infatuated fool who had been imprisoned by two separate women seeking his power, or a faithful tutor. He is alive, he is long dead, he is evil, he is good, he is brilliant, he is an absent minded professor. No two stories portray him alike.

Except in each story, Merlin made an appearance in Camelot, and was somehow connected to King Arthur. And that was where they were going, and she would get them there, by god, by way of curse. All she needed to complete it was something that was originally from Camelot. Something like that was bound to be in Gold's shop, and with Belle's help she had no doubt they could get there. But once they were there, finding Merlin would still be a difficult task. And she still had to figure out how to test Emma without scaring her or stirring evil up inside her. It will be a difficult, delicate situation and as many scenarios as she had confronting Emma, everyone seemed to have disastrous consequences.

Though Regina has not slept, she has not even felt the need for sleep. In fact, she has not even realized half a day had passed until she hears the knocking on her door.

"Regina!" Robin cries, "Regina we need to talk."

"Robin I need more time…" she starts.

"This isn't about that. It's your son. He won't see anyone else but you or Emma. I can't very well force him to do anything, you know the boy. He's utterly repulsed by everyone in Storybrooke at the moment and… Regina…he needs you."

Regina opens the door to her vault, meeting him at the entrance.

"He's missing?" Regina asks, almost amused.

"Not missing, per se, but not exactly accounted for, he doesn't want to be…"

Regina waves him off. "That's enough. This is exactly what we need."

Her face shifts to something that is almost a smile, walking to her mirror with a focus and determination he's seen before. Robin watches as the mirror's reflection clouds and fades, replaced by shimmers of something...he starts to see something, dirty...no sand. Sand being held between clenched fists, and then being released only to be replaced with new handfuls of sand. Slowly, Emma comes into focus. SHe's dripping wet, under the docks, and looked angry and scared - two things Robin does  _ not  _ associate with the Emma he knows.

He has little time to process it, however, because without speaking a word, Regina grabs Robin's hand and poofs herself and Robin to the beach, not too far from Emma.

Emma's brooding seems to stop the moment she sees Regina. It's replaced with something equally as troubling, a look of complete shock and confusion. It concerns Robins, but it seems to not concern Regina at all, who nearly  _ runs _ toward Emma _ ,  _ looking more concerned and sorrowful than anything. Emma seems to process it immediately, echoing her own look.

The two have their own way of communicating. It's one he won't ever understand, completely. Somehow they two have a connection that many do not.

"Regina?" Emma calls out, and then breaks out into a run in a way that is almost startling.

"What you did for me…." Regina starts her eyes filled with gratitude "I will fix this."

"I don't need fixing, I can fix myself. Everything is going to be okay, Regina, the town just needs to know there's nothing to fear. Can you explain that to them?"

Regina lets out an exasperated sigh. If only it were that we true.

"We've got a bigger problem, Emma. It's Henry." She points to Robin, who was behind her. "He was the last person to talk to him, perhaps you should hear the story from him. We have to find him and I need your help."

Emma turns into a detective, then. It's her son, and she loves him, but she goes cold and robotic while she asks where it was Robin had last seen her son and why Henry would ever want to leave without letting people know where he was going.

Robin recounts the whole story, including the fact that everyone – including him – reacted poorly to Regina grabbing the dagger.

.::.

She's listening to the story. She truly is. But throughout Robin's entire boring account of who said what, all Emma can think about is the location of the dagger. She needs it, she thinks. Need the control. The idea of Regina taking it, controlling her, or giving it to Hook, or Robin, or even her own parents….no. Not that.

Everything feels like a threat, she trusted no one to control her. No one can be trusted to hold the dagger but her. Yet these feelings, this anger and worry bubbling up inside her are all quickly buried by her need to find Henry.

"You all should be ashamed of yourselves." Emma responds coldly to Robin. Robin had probably already felt miserable, certainly  _ looks _ miserable, but Emma was entirely unsympathetic at the moment.

"He's a boy, he's the first thing you should have thought about, instead you attacked the only mom he had left.  _ Of course _ he's going to side with her. What in the hell were you thinking?" She pushes him in the chest, eyes cold and dark. Robin, the coward, won't meet her eyes or respond. Apparently he has nothing to say either. What was there to say, anyway? She was right.

Regina approaches the two of them just in time hear Emma's last words.

"They weren't thinking, Emma." Regina reminds quietly. "It happened fast. They aren't like you or me. They can't expel their fears and worries in a time of crisis. They need time to grieve, process. But none of that now. We need to find Henry."

Regina's up to something. It just doesn't make sense, this request to suddenly help her find Henry. She's a powerful sorceress, surely she knows the failsafe way to find him.

"Come on Regina, you didn't need me to find him. Take out a mirror and track him down. Use a tracking spell and find him. I'm not necessary."

"You may not be necessary to  _ find  _ him, Swan." Regina says flippantly, "but I believe you're necessary to get him to agree to come home voluntarily."

.::.

Regina feels Emma's eyes on her, watches as she cocks her head and searches for something in her eyes. It is cute, how intently she stares and analyzes her.

Regina smiled "Using your superpower?" she quips.

"You passed." Emma mutters. "Come on, where is he?"

Regina takes out her compact and gives it to Emma, allowing her to control it. Emma focuses on her thoughts and the image of Henry immediately appears. Emma was getting stronger, it appears. The crisp image of Henry pouring over books in the library comes into focus.

"Library." It is all Emma says before she disappeared into smoke, apparently poofing herself into the library.

"Library it is." mumbles Regina She looked at Robin somewhat apologetically. "I don't think we need you for this part. Take care of your son. I'll be back later."

"You can't put it off forever." Robin reminds her. "You have to start feeling things eventually."

Regina rolls her eyes. "Believe me, I'm aware." She promises, and with that, she disappears into purple tinged smoke, following Emma into the library.

The library is dead quiet, and empty, less the small boy in the back corner. Henry already made a mess of this particular section of the library, books open and piled precariously on the table, some sliding off onto the floor. It was unclear what he was looking for, perhaps just something to believe in, something to pass the time.

Emma quietly approaches Henry, who is so consumed with whatever he was reading he didn't hear her. She places a hand softly on his shoulder. "Whatcha reading, kid?" she asks in a hushed voice.

"MOM!" Henry exclaims, turning around and hugging her quickly. He turns to see Regina behind him. "Mom!" Her heart soars a bit, hearing the happiness in her voice, the love in his eyes. So often she feels invisible to Henry when Emma is around, and these little moments are everything to her. "I knew you would want to see me!" he cries back to Emma, smiling "I knew you wouldn't stay away from me!"

Emma looks conflicted, unsteady. She shares a glance with Regina. She's doubting herself, it seems.

"Here's the deal. I did have to see you. And I have to know you're alright. But you can't stay with me. I have to figure this out. I have to figure out what it means to be the dark one. Everything feels…different. I've never had dark magic before. And it's pulling me in a way I don't like."

It's honest, and it doesn't gloss over the ugliness, not much anyway. Regina appreciate this, appreciates the fact Emma isn't lying to their son, isn't sugar coating the reality of the situation. It was the right call. The more she was honest with those she loved the easier it would be to avoid the dark one completely overtaking her.

"You won't ever hurt me." Henry's voice is strong and confident, "I know you won't. Gold was never as good as you, and he never hurt Bae. You won't hurt me. I want to stay with you."

Henry clung to Emma tightly. Regina's senses were still dulled by her lack of heart, but she felt the wash of jealousy over her as she saw the boy she raised clinging to the mother he met only a few years ago.

"Oh Henry, I want you to stay with me too, but…"

"I think Henry should stay with you." Regina interrupts. Both Emma and Henry's jaw dropped, face screwed into identical inquisitive looks. It's another stab to the gut, that identical facial expression that screams  _ I didn't raise him, but he's mine just the same.  _ She swallows the bitter taste of jealousy in her mouth and presses on. "I have to…I have a lot to do. I am going to fix this, I swear Henry. I will not let Emma be the Dark One for long. I have a plan but…there's significant work. I need you safe. And he is safe with you, Emma. You love him. Your feelings for him are going to keep you grounded. Until we can fix this."

Emma seems unconvinced, still searching for something. And then she gives, in a shaky breath "What if the person who has the dagger uses it, and I drag Henry…."

And so  _ that  _ is what it is about. Emma doesn't trust Regina, she's feeling her out, trying to see if she has it. She's transparent and obvious and Regina would be lying if she said she wasn't the least bit disappointed in her lack of cunning. But it will do no harm to tease her about that now, so she soothes her fears. "I can't tell you who has the dagger. But look at me, Emma." She looks into Emma's eyes, the person who can always tell when Regina was lying. "I. Don't. Have. It."

Emma heaves out a puff of air. "But you gave it to some random person?"

Regina rakes fingers through her hair, then pulls herself together, finding the right words to explain. "There's light and dark in you now. That was the way it was supposed to be, before the author changed your fate. I know there's still light in you because of how you treat Henry. But you cannot go looking for the dagger. It was given to someone who I trust. Not just with my life, but with Henry's life too. Believe in that."

"Is it safe for me in town?" she asks innocently.

Regina pauses, contemplating on what the reaction would be from the average townsperson who sese Emma. "I really missed the big reveal last night. I was almost attacked by your parents for merely holding the dagger….my guess is, you're going to get some stares. Probably not much more though. It'll be ok."

Emma rolls her eyes. "Let's just do cocoa at my place then." She motions to Henry, picking up her mood a bit. "I'll face the crowd in a few hours."

Henry nods. Emma started to walk Henry out of the library and turned back to Regina. "You coming with us?" she asks.

Regina frowns. "There's….there's uh, something I have to do. It's time sensitive. But if you need anything…"

"Sure, sure, you gotta put your heart back in. We'll be here when you get back."

It shouldn't be a surprise, with these new powers, that Emma could tell Regina's heart was not in her body. But Regina hadn't expected it, hadn't considered that she'd figure it out, and the revelation throws her off just a bit. Emma sees more than ever before. Her natural ability to read people had increased exponentially since her transformation. She will be more powerful than Rumple had ever been.

"I love you, Henry." she calls out, prompting Henry to run back into her arms and whisper,  _ Every one is wrong about you. I know you're a hero. _

Regina whispers back, "take care of Emma. She needs your help to remember she's a hero, too." Henry smiles at his mother gratefully and winks at her before walking back to Emma.

.::.

Regina poofs herself back into her vault.

She has planned not to tell Robin when she puts her heart back in. She had been careful to promise him she would see him tomorrow, but not to promise she will let him sit through the severity of the emotions that were locked away. And so he could see her,  _ after  _ she gets through this.  _ If  _ she gets through this.

But as she appears in her vault, she finds Robin already sitting on her bed, reading one of her spell books.

"What are you doing here, Robin?"

"Waiting for you to come back." He responds, without looking up from his book. "Your heart's over there, all ready to go." He looks up with a Cheshire grin on his face. "You didn't think I was going to miss all this fun did you?"

He's an idiot, he's draining, and she's just about done fighting him on this. And frankly, truth be told, as terrified as she is of hurting him, she also misses him quite a bit. His presence makes her feel anxious, but also warm. She could perhaps close herself off from thinking of what she went through with Robin. Only unload half of her heart. That could work.

"Understand that the things I have to work through…many of them have to do with you." She reminds. "You are the absolute worst person to be around when I go through this. You are the one person I was scared I would hurt. You haven't seen me at my worst before…"

Robin dismisses her argument. "I trust you more than you trust yourself. And I know you better than you know yourself. I'm not afraid of you. Whatever happens, this is my choice. To be here, with you. I can't let you go through this without me."

Regina's mind relives her reaction to shattered sight curse, and how violently she had reacted. How evil she had become – how it turned lovers as pure as the Charmings against one another. But she dismissed that memory. Of course this wasn't a curse. This was her heart. And her emotions. Maybe she can handle it better than she thought.

"Well for this record this is a horrible idea But, if you have a death wish…"

Regina puts up a protection spell around her vault, sealing her in. This particular spell, as she explains to Robin, can only be lifted with light magic. IT will seal her in should she go full on Evil Queen, but allow her to leave if and when she settles into Regina. This entire arrangement puts  _ Robin  _ at severe risk. But he won't hear of leaving. He's an idiot, and he's convinced she will do him no harm. But somewhere, in the back of her mind, she truly believes she won't hurt him, either. So after some argument, she holds Robin's hand tightly and grabs her dark, ugly heart and pushes it back into her chest, where it belongs.

.::.

The first thing he hears is that gasp. It's painful, he knows it's painful, putting your heart back in like that. The gasp is like a reflex, like being punched hard in the gut and getting the wind knocked out of you. Her whole body convulses, and he hates magic, despises it, but he wishes at this point he had it, because then he'd at least be able to do something more useful than hold her bloody hand. her face falls into her lap, and no, this has never happened before. It's horrifying. She barely looks alive at this point, she could be a corpse, stiffened into an ungodly position as she shudders and quakes in a way that looks more like a seizure or a reflex.

"Regina?" Robin asks slowly "are you alright?"

.::.

Pain.

She is in unbearable pain.

It's never truly been this painful.

Like being sucked into terrible grief all at once. It is too much to feel at once, and she has to physically resist pulling the damned heart right back out. Instead her hands are grabbing the edge of the damned bed, twisting the covers up in her fist.

Just breathe through the pain.

Focus. Breathe. Pain is good. Pain means you are alive.

Regina focuses her thoughts before they overtook her, trying to first focus on Emma's sacrifice. There is the realization that Emma meant more to her than she ever cared to let herself know, and Emma had obviously felt the same way. Emma had asked nothing in return, after the way Regina had treated her, after their battles for their son's affection, they spent so much time against one another, and she never let Emma feel loved. Emma forgave her for trying to kill her, for trying to kill her parents, for almost killing Henry, for killing Graham, for everything. But it is more than forgiving, it was deeming her worthy of a huge sacrifice. Emma had loved her – believed in her – more than anyone else in StoryBrooke in that instant.

Regina realizes that the world would see Emma's sacrifice as her fault. Like they had time and time again when crisis strikes, always coming to Regina – first to blame her, and then to ask her for help.

And they are unworthy.

Immediately anger and betrayal add to her guilt, the emotions swarming together, rolling over Regina all at once, tangling until anger wins, displacing everything else (as it always seems to with her). She can't stop thinking of the look on Snow's face, Charming's face, and then…her own Robin.

And remembering that face,  _ his  _ face, is what sends her down the rabbit hole. She attempts to avoid her mind from wandering  _ here _ , but her heart had been out of her body for too long, emotions kept at bay for longer than she'd care to admit. And now they were back, invading her mind and replaying every horrible moment of her sordid romance with Robin. She feels the shame of what she had become – the shame of being the one who slept with Robin while he refused to leave his wife. And he let her be that, he came into her bed, gave her no promises, forced himself back into her arms and never let her heart even begin to move on. Then he left her again, so easily. He didn't just move on with Marian, he started a  _ family  _ with her.

Regina lets herself feel the full weight of this unbearable situation for the first time. There is too much going on, too many issues with the author, with settling the dynamics of Zelena in StoryBrooke…too much to let herself feel before.

How many times did he sleep with her? How soon had he given her up? He said he had always believed in her, why didn't he believe she'd find a way to get him back? How could all of this be  _ love _ ?

In a swirl of doubt and confusion, she's deaf to the noise her inner turmoil causing around her. Books crash onto the floor and against the walls, vials of potion shatter, her mirror breaks and the earth shakes below her as a voice in her head seeks to break her.

_ If he really loved you to begin with, he wouldn't have been able to be with Marian. He wouldn't stop trying to find you. And he would never have looked at you like you were a monster just yesterday. He doesn't love you. He never did. He's using your power for his own happy ending. And that ending doesn't involve you. _

Regina's emotion swells up inside her, as she continues to look down, her eyes wild, teeth clenched ready to finally confront Robin. She is seething, stewing, angry, so angry as she feels a fireball forming in her clenched fist.

"Regina…" Robin calls out again, his voice full of concern. His cry sounds faint and muffled inside her head. She looked up and meets his eyes, ready for battle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you don't like smut avert your eyes

Emma's little apartment is quiet and tense. Two lamps are on, creating a subdued warm glow that would make the home look very inviting and cheery, were it not for the circumstances surrounding Emma lately. She was sitting on the table, facing her song, her face twitching, struggling to adjust to the New Emma, the Dark Emma. But she wasn't supposed to be thinking about that now. She was supposed to be playing a game with her son. With some resolve, she tossed down a card as her throwaway, nodding at Henry that it was his turn.

Henry groans, and in an exasperated move he dramatically slaps a hand over his forehead. "Mom, twos are wild this round."

Emma scowls, looking up from her hand "Wait, what are we playing again?"

Henry sighs. "What's wrong?"

Henry  _ knows _ what is wrong, and it scares him. He had tried to distract her from her darkening heart and her obsession with the dagger, but nothing seemed to be working. If only Regina were here, she would know what to do.

"I'm sorry kid, I keep worrying about what might happen next." She grabs his hand and looked into his eyes. "You know, there's still a lot of evil in this town…" She had intended to remind him that Regina used to evil and could be evil again, but looking at him, into those innocent, all too trusting eyes, she knows just saying it would hurt him. And she could not hurt Henry. "What if I can't protect you? What if I'm used against you?"

"You and mom won't let that happen. Have faith!" He urges, "I don't need you to be powerful to protect me. I just need you to be my mom."

Emma squeezes his hand tightly and assures, "I'm never going to stop being your mom."

There's a moment where they just smile at one another, and then a knock of the door bursts that bubble of serenity like a needle through a balloon. Emma checks the peephole, groaning when she sees who is on the other side. "I'm not really feeling well enough for visitors." She says, loudly enough for him to hear her. He says nothing, so she sighs and leans against the door. "Killian, I don't think I'm ready for all this."

"But you are." Killian assures, "I know you, you can handle anything. You can certainly handle me."

Emma opens the door, hiding her happiness at seeing him with thinly veiled faux-frustration, holding one hand over her eyes. "Fine, but you are not allowed to look at me with that pity-slash-concern look my mother keeps making. I don't want to see that look on your face, or I'm kicking you out."

Hook smirks, bemused at Emma, who appeared to be playing a game of hide and seek. "I'm going to open my eyes now, and you're not going to look at me like that, okay?"

Hook grabs the hand that was covering her eyes and drew her into a kiss. "Hello, love," he whispers.

"...Heyyy" Emma flirts back, suddenly feeling lighter at Hook's moood, which is completely unexpected given the series of events they just experienced.

But, she's glad for it. Because for the first time in a long while she almost feels normal. Everyone – even poor Henry – seems to be analyzing her every move, her every thought. Killian immediately breaks that trend, if anything he is looking at her more as a sex object than someone to be pitied. And that's actually…refreshing? At least it's normal for him.

"Hi Killian!" Henry calls from the kitchen.

"Hey there Henry!" Killian blinks and shakes his head, as if he had just remembered Henry was staying with Emma, leaving little opportunity for romance tonight. "So what are we up to? A game of cards? Can I buy in?"

"We're not playing for money." Henry explains, "otherwise mom would be broke."

"Hey, I'm trying!"

"No she's not," Henry protests with a roll of his eyes, "She's not even paying attention."

"That doesn't sound like Emma," Killian replies, "She's got her mind focused all the time. My guess is she's pulling a hustle out on you."

Killian grabs two beers from the fridge. He passes on to Emma and kept the other for himself.

"So now, Henry, you can control the night's activities. Let me know what you're in the mood for."

"We could watch the Avengers?" He suggests hopefully.

"That works for me. I'll make the popcorn."

Emma walks to the kitchen, leaving Henry and Killian alone for a few moments.

Killian thinks to ask Henry how Emma was doing, but didn't. He didn't want her to hear and kick him out for worrying about her. Instead he told him a story of how a crewman was once enchanted by a local girl, and convinced her to come aboard ship, dressed as a crewman. Killian and the other men hadn't noticed, until the girl and his crewman were caught in the act on deck one early morning.

"Well then everyone wanted to pull his trick." Killian laughs. "I caught at least one woman dressed as a crewman in every voyage. Sailors are desperate men."

Henry snorts at the tale, but he never took his eyes off the kitchen area.

Killian taps his shoulder. "Come on now, nothing to worry about." Killian attempts to turn the boy's head from the kitchen to no avail.

Henry shakes his head. "That's just it. Yes there is."

Before Killian could even begin to ask what Henry means, Emma was back with popcorn. "We starting this movie or what?" She plops down on the couch, far away from Killian, who was sitting on the other side, and Henry, who is sitting on the floor. Killian moves directly next to her, his arm, pulling around her. "Now we're ready. Play the movie, Henry!"

Emma giggles.

"You are such a baby, do you need me to keep you safe from the big scary movie?"

"This apartment is cold, and you're nice and warm."

"There's a blanket, right there." Emma reminds pointedly.

"Ah, yes, thank you." Hook took out the blanket and spread it across the two of them. "Even better."

Oh, he makes her laugh.

Henry observes the way Hook seems to be handling his mother. It works, really. Because Hook is treating her entirely normally. Of course, he's doing that because he doesn't see the paranoia that is growing in her, how she seems determined to get the dagger, the questions she had asked Henry throughout the day – specifically the question of who he thought Storybrooke needed to be protected from the most, at this moment. He hadn't seen how in just one day Emma already had less compassion than before. Killian hadn't seen it, so it was easier to act this carefree. He obviously didn't WANT to dig down deep and look at what was going on. But maybe it was better that way.

"Movie's starting, please stop being gross." Henry begs, pretending to sound annoyed.

"Pirates are gross! It's in our code."

"Give it a rest." Henry rolls his eyes.

.::.

He tries to keep an eye on them, but the movie draws him in, and soon Henry is sufficiently distracted. And finally Emma is able to have a conversation with Killian. One she doesn't think he should hear.

She appreciates the fact that he waited for her to be the first to bring this up. It feels like she's been bogged down by everyone's questions and worry all day.

"I feel myself changing." She whispers to Hook.

Hook shrugs "Exactly how? You seem fine to me."

"There's something eating at me. I can feel this… coldness inside me."

"Just hang tight, we're going to fix that illness," Killian promises, kissing her cheek, "but for now, you can trust you're just the same breathtaking Emma Swan you've always been."

Emma lays her head down on his shoulder.

"I wish you were right, I really do."

Killian's arm is around her, his fingertips rubbing her shoulder and arm. It feels warm, safe, and good. And she knows that Killian believes that there are no differences between her current self and the person she was before – except perhaps for the slight sense of worry and vulnerability in her voice. It felt…unfair to let him believe that.

"You know I love—"

Emma's hand closes around his mouth in an instant, stopping him just in time from revealing words that should not yet be said aloud. She isn't going to let him say he loved her when she was feeling dark and empty. That should be reserved for a happier time, when they could both revel in love and feelings without a dark cloud of evil pushing into her.

"Don't. Not here, not while I'm like this, not until we get this darkness out of me."

"Emma…" Killian starts.

"Please?" She begs "I just…it doesn't feel right to say right now."

"Fine." Killian huffs grabbing the rest of the popcorn. "I was only going to say I loved the way you pop popcorn."

"Uh-huh." Emma rolls her eyes.

"Seriously! What did you think I was going to… _ ohhhh _ , did you think I was going to say…" Killian feigns innocence, but that little smirk gives him away.

"Oh god, shutup." Emma moans, pretending to be exasperated, which earned a  _ Shhh _ from Henry who was sitting on the floor, a bit too close to the TV.

"Sorry Henry!" Killian calls out. "You're mom will try harder to behave herself."

Emma snickers and leans into Killian. Having him over had been a good idea.

.::.

There is now a large crack through the middle of the mirror in the vault. The floor is littered with books, and given the way they had been flung against the wall prior to landing on the floor, many are half opened, completely ruining the binding. God, if she could care about anything besides the swirling pain of emotion, the mistreatment of books would really bother her.

But she's bogged down by the weight of the world - or at least the weight of the last two weeks - on her mind. She continues to focus on the ground below her as her mind dredges up every memory of Robin and spins it in the most negative light she could possibly imagine. Oh, Robin was going to regret coming here. She would  _ make him  _ regret coming here. He's made her into a fool, a weak, pathetic shell of her former self. He never loved her, he played her. And she hates him, she's angry at him.

She lifts her gaze from the floor below her to meet his eyes, determined as ever. She will make him  _ pay,  _ he will  _ pay _ for this, this thief, this common criminal, this so-called soulmate who-

Every ounce of anger drops away from her when she looks into his eyes.

It is like being grounded, like suddenly remembering something she had long forgotten. She cannot be angry at this man. She cannot hurt him.

She knows his heart.

For a few minutes, they just look into each other's eyes. Even in such a stressful, scary moment, Robin still looks awestruck by her. He reaches out and put his hand on her cheek.

With all her walls down, and all her anger disappearing, all she's left with is this desperate vulnerability she spent her life hiding from the world. But her heart begs her to dive deep down into her fears and sadness, to finally confront them so she can be unburdened. After a moment locked in his eyes, Regina begins to unload everything that is buried inside her.

"You used to trust me, trust me completely….I did everything for you. I…I told you to leave me even though you knew how I felt about you and you knew what that did to me. I pushed you away and told you to be faithful to her, but you pushed me into being the other woman. I saved your  _ wife _ …what I thought was your wife, after she called me a monster and took you from me. I brought my evil sister back into my life so you two could raise a child together, all the while, I gained nothing in your eyes. What more could I have done? What have you ever done for me, and why doesn't knowing all this change the way I feel about you?"

.::.

Words can wound more than weapons sometimes. This is one of those times.

It's not that she's being intentionally painful. It's that she's being brutally honest about the number of times he's let her down, he's mistreated her heart, and making quite the case for why he should never doubt her or her goodness for even a second (he doesn't, he hadn't she's got that all wrong).

He should give her space, let her finish.

Even though he itches to touch her, even if he feels like his world is collapsing without having her in his arms, he shouldn't touch her now.

BUt then he's reaching out and tucking her into his arms, and she goes willingly, thank god, because he doesn't think his heart could take her shrinking from his touch right now.

She is sobbing softly into his shoulder. He should probably pretend he doesn't hear that, she doesn't like tears, but unfortunately, he's unable to keep his own at bay either right now. So fuck it. They can be weak together.

"Shhh" he soothes, her voice shaky and wavering. What can he say? Words fail him, and his voice is too shaky to give a long speech. So he settles on "I will be a better man for you. I promise you."

"I couldn't even imagine being with another person after you, and you—"

He understands, god does he ever understand. Because he couldn't really get behind the idea of being with Marian in  _ that way. _ It was wrong, always wrong. But he can't let her think he did it because he didn't love her.

"She was my wife, I thought I'd never see you again, and Roland, I wanted him to see his mother happy. And we agreed…I thought I could get it to work, for his sake, but…"

"I've thought about that. It all makes sense.  _ Logically _ ." Regina spits the words out bitterly, but it seems her anger is directed towards herself now.

She pushes against him gentle, and it hurts him terribly but he releases her hold on her and lets her leave his arms. He hates the distance, but he will respect her space. She walks away from him, separating herself even further.

The tears are still there and her voice is soft, almost resigned to live in this pain. One could hardly believe this is the same woman who terrorized an entire kingdom. She is so vulnerable, so delicate."But you pushed me away in New York. After I found a way to get us back. And now you obviously think I'm evil, or, I'm not to be trusted…and...it just feels all wrong."

The words sting, and she doesn't mean to hurt him (he knows that, she isn't like that) but what hurts the most is knowing he's done such a pisspoor job of explaining how he feels to her. "I do not think you are the least bit evil." He grabs her shoulders and spins her around, looking her deep in the yes. "Understand?"

"You were scared of me when I took that dagger." She reminds him. "You didn't defend me…"

"It took me a second to process everything, it was a flinch, it will never happen again. What do I have to do to show you I trust you? Give you my heart? Give you Roland's heart?" And that seems to do it. She looks stunned into silence at the mention of Roland. "Because I'll do it. If you tell me we won't get hurt, I'll do it. I trust you that much. And if that's what it takes to prove it to you…"

"I would  _ never  _ take Roland's heart. I would not hurt him, even for an instant, unless it was necessary for his survival. I certainly wouldn't take his heart to win some sort of trust test."

She's scowling, angrily at the very idea, and he has to fight himself from smiling at her. The great and terrible Evil Queen, absolutely up in arms over the idea of her causing a boy minor discomfort.

God, he loves her.

""I know you wouldn't do that to him, Regina. That's why I made the offer. I know what's in your heart. I trust you, completely."

She looks touched for a second, breathing out a little  _ ohhh  _ before everything goes hazy again.

"But it wasn't just last night. What you said to me in New York, about moving on…"

He winces. Wishes he could remove those terrible words from both their memories. It was a low point in his life, when he felt the need to desperately defend a pregnant Marian.

"None of that was true. I said those things because the person I thought was Marian was pregnant, I thought I had to say that for the sake of my next child. What I said was entirely against my heart, I swear it."

He thinks maybe, just maybe, she believes it.

But then she goes and says something that has him doubting his ability to read her entirely.

.::.

"You must have been happy, to start a family with her."

The words pain Regina to say, but holding her thoughts in hurt more. Her heart had too much in it, she had to release all of this somewhere.

She's hurting him. Has been hurting him, she can tell, the way he winces, that pained expression on his face.

She's surprised he counters her back with something articulate, however. He seems adamant that she believe him on this. "The child was not planned, not by me anyway. I tried to be happy, I clung to memories of the past and had hopes I could recreate those moments. It, it just never happened."

"Still, you must have enjoyed your time with her." Regina presses. "How many times?" She's ashamed of her question. Cora was in her head, reminding her of why she was being so weak at this moment. It is love. It is her undoing. She had been a fearsome, badass queen and now she is a heartbroken little girl, crying over a boy. God, this is pathetic. When will this feeling end?

"How many times what?"

"With my sister, how many times?"

Robin sighs. "Regina, you don't want to know the answer to that, it will solve nothing."

So quite a few times then.

"We were together such a short time, such short, interrupted moments. You hardly got to know me, we've only…been together…a few times. You had months of time with Zelena, as Marian. You know her better than you ever know me, and she knows you better….Forget how many times, when did you become a family again? How long after you left me did you forget me? When did I become the second choice?"

Robin's rubs his hand over his eyes and forehead. It was so hard to explain what he felt for this woman, so hard to explain what had happened with Marian. But it had to be done, because right now Regina was muddling it all up.

"I deserve to hear every word of this, Regina" he concedes, grabbing her hand with his, using the other to stroke and caress her arm as he pleads with her. "But every word is wrong. You and I may have had a short time together but it was  _ real _ , and it was  _ deep _ , and it was  _ passionate _ , and it was  _ unmatched _ . Unmatched by anything I've ever had."

Regina stays silent, but his words soften her a bit, despite a voice in her head screaming her to resist. And now she's looking at his hands, strong hands, hands that held her, searched for her own to hold, hands that conveyed more wrapped around her than she could ever truly put into words. Oh, she longs to have those arms stroking her arms the way she liked, tracing circles with his fingertips. She gives in a little, letting him hold her hand, and squeezing his back. But she says nothing, and it prompts him to take the lead and speak more.

"You're right. I was a fool. I tried to fall back in love with Marian despite the fact everything felt wrong. I tried for our son. For her well-being. It didn't work, I did love her then but not a moment since she returned."

Her eyes fill with fresh, unshed tears. She won't let him see her cry, she'll just keep looking at his hand and squeezing it, perhaps releasing a few quick tears while she's hidden from Robin's careful eye. And then she will force them away forever.

Robin draws a deep breath. "And if you are asking how many times I was with her in bed, I don't exactly remember. It was obviously more than once, of course."

Regina winces and pulls her hand away. Pain slowly spreads from her heart down her whole body. She knows it was more than once, of course she did. But he is right, she didn't want to hear him say it out loud. Now it's a reality.

Instinctively, Robin cups chin in his hand and lifts her head, tilting it towards him, waiting for her to meet his gaze. When she does finally look into his eyes again, he begins to speak.

"But if you're asking how many times my heart was  _ truly _ in it – how many times it felt like when I'm with  _ you _ ….Regina, the answer is never. How could it have been?"

She's still not done crying, and everything hurts, god it hurts. And he's struggling, she knows he is, struggling to find the words to magically fix this. But there are no words, no magical speech that will fix her. He's trying, though. He's trying. For her.

"And if you're asking when I felt like a family again with Marian, truthfully, the answer is never. When I found out she was pregnant, it was not a happy occasion. I was too terrified of how I didn't love her enough, how nothing felt right. But I thought I could make it work, once the child came, maybe…But Regina, she never felt like home to me. I never felt the way I feel when I'm with you. And you're asking when I forgot about you, and the answer is never. Not one day passed. Not even too many moments passed without my mind wandering to you."

Tears flow down Regina's face. She swallows thickly, struggling to control her voice. "I want to believe it, but I can't anymore." She pauses and took a deep breath in. "I don't think you ever felt the way I felt about you. And I think whatever we had…it wasn't what we thought it was. Or…. it ended months ago. When you looked at me when I picked up that dagger...I knew."

.::.

The words are honest, raw, and probably terrifying to say out loud – but even even worse to hear.

And he's just struck by all this but also by how terribly  _ wrong  _ this situation is. Not a word of what she said makes sense with what is in his heart.

He's so determined, so angry (not at her, never at her) and so confident he knows what is right. So he looks at her with fire in his eyes and says forcefully "No."

This  _ is going to work _ , and she was going to realize she was wrong.

Regina breaks away from Robin and began to pace along the little space in the vault. Robin searches for the right words to say to convince her she was being rash, but nothing sounds right.

"This isn't over. You can't feel this between us? Can you feel how much I want you, all the time?"

He means the kiss to only be a reminder, a quick refresher of the feeling of being close.

But they had been away from each other too long. Just brushing her lips sent a wave of electricity through his body. Fro teh way she responds, the little gasp that comes from her mouth, he thinks she feels the same.

Robin rips his lips from her begrudgingly, breathing heavy and staring at her, hungry. Her move.

.::.

Regina is suddenly hot, probably flushed, and entirely undone by the feeling of his breath on her cheeks and the kiss that she shared. She feels a flutter of anticipation, nerves, like a young teenager on a first date. It has been so long since they had been intimate, and she hadn't truly ever let herself believe it would happen again. But now, it might happen now.

A million reasons not to do this ran through her mind.

This will go nowhere, she has already worked out the impossibility of them in a relationship. He is in love with memories of Marian, not her. She bitterly muses that her only true chance of getting him to return her feelings of love was to put on that pendant and play the part of Marian. Doing this right now was only going to hurt her more.

But damn every reason it might be a bad idea for the moment, she just needs to feel something else besides the raw, heartbroken, painful emotions she was wading in now, and if kissing him made her able to push them into the background for awhile, she was going to go with it.

She grabs his collar and pulls him toward her. His hands wrap around her tightly. He smells just like she remembered, that deep rich pine scent that was undeniably masculine. He tastes fresh, and sweet - like mint, and it causes her to wonder if he had come here tonight prepared to do this.

But if he had, smart move on his part, because she misses him, all of him, much more than she cares to let anyone including him (and even herself).

Robin presses himself towards her, his hands greedy and frantic, and good, at least he wants this as badly as she does.

He pushes her against the vault wall a bit harshly so that her body Instinctively she puts her hand up to her head, even though it didn't really hurt, not yet anyway. The force reminds her of how badly she wanted him, needs him.

Robin pulls himself away from her lips, whispers "You ok? I'm sorry. I just…"

Regina presses him in again for another long kiss before assuring him, "It's fine…it's good."

Her breath is shaky when she pulls herself back against his lips, and he responds immediately with that same passion. She wraps a leg around his waist, her skirt rooking up quite a bit with the motion, but he could rip it in half for all she cares, nothing else mattered at this moment, she just wants him between her thighs.

He keeps one hand around her shoulder, his other hand was steadily moving up her outer thigh, teasing her, creating a dull ache in her lower stomach. She groans involuntarily, almost embarrassed of how quickly she is affected by him, but after all, she had wanted this for months, and she was pushed up against his hips, certainly aware that he was every bit as turned on as she was.

Robin moved both hands to her chest, pushing her back, a little more gently so she is firmly wedged against the wall. She smiles coyly at him, watching him so fixated on her, so passionate. He drawls back a bit and just takes a moment to admire her.

Regina always dresses for the occasion, whether it was a day spent at town hall taking meetings, or torturing herself in her vault. She always smells of expensive perfume and dressed in these outfits that were some combination of professional and sexy. Robin finds it irresistible. So here she was, dressed for research and looking sexy and professional as ever.

He unbuttons her shirt while his mouth covers her neck in kisses, every time she sighs or " _ mm _ -s" or gave a word of pleasure he grinds back a little bit, but that is typical for him, he always seems to be driven over the top when she was vocal in bed.

He focuses on the zipper of her skirt now, and she moves her leg down to help him so he could slide the garment off her, down her hips until it lay crumpled at her feet, caressing up her thighs and teasing her before pushing himself back against her.

"No one feels as good as you." He moans between heated kisses, the roll of her hips pressing against his erections if by instinct. He kisses down her neck and chest, one hand in her hair and the other on the small of her back.

She sighs softly, completely involuntarily. Robin whispers into her neck between kissing and sucking every inch of her.

"You can't feel how much I want you, how much I've missed you, how I've been giving you time to adjust to all this, even though I've been dying to rip your clothes off since I saw you in New York?"

But Regina doesn't want to talk about that now, doesn't want to have to argue over what  _ she _ saw in him when they were in New York. It would just bring back more bad memories.

She places her hands on the back of his neck and pulls him into a kiss in response, He is rocking against her harder now, rubbing her in just the right place, her panties now soaked with the wetness between her thighs, making the friction even better. And she should just be able to feel  _ this _ , and not think about all the complications that they would face, everything that has hurt her and scared her since she met him.

"No more talking." She breathes the words between kisses, as her hips continued to roll and push her most sensitive areas right against him. She intends it to be an order, establishing that she is in control here, and she is defining the rules of this little moment of hers. But her voice is breathy and soft, and it sounds more like a plea.

She winces at how weak she sounds, but quickly throws her concerns to the back of her mind as Robin does in fact shut up, and seems to get the picture.

He kisses her neck, his tongue tickling her flesh with each kiss. She attacks him back, hungrily, as she takes off his pants and boxers in a hurried desperate movement.

Robin finishes unbuttoning her shirt and his hands quickly move to her bra. It is thin, a nude black, see through, and her nipples are quite visible through them, especially in the state they were in now, now that she was so turned on she could barely see straight.

He touches them like he used to, the light kneading that makes her moan, his thumbs twisting and rubbing over the nipples, and  _ fuck!  _ She threw her head back, making a sharp smack against the wall, and there might be some pain, but the hell if she cared at this point.

"Careful love." Robin smiles into her shoulder, and his breath made her shudder. He moves his hands off her breasts, drawing a little sigh of dissatisfaction out of her, Robin bends down and lifts her. Her legs wrap tightly around his waist, as he kisses her, wedging her firmly between the wall just like she liked.

Regina's mind is disjointed and hazy, and the dull ache she had felt around Robin since they were reunited was now a strong, pulsing need.

Robin rushes to the bed, almost throwing her down on it when he gets there. It isn't gentle or graceful and thank god for glad for it. That raw passion is exactly what she wants. What she  _ needs. _

_.::. _

Her skirt is off and she was in nothing more than a completely unbuttoned silk blouse with a matching lingerie set, lying in the bed, her hair splayed out around her, lips swollen from kissing, and that look in her eyes, like there was a fire behind them. She is perfect. Beautiful.

"God." he breathes, "You are….god." He didn't dare finish his thoughts, even if he had the capacity to form sentences at this point. He knows she doesn't want to hear him whispering words of affection as much as he feels them.

"Fucking gorgeous." he mutters, as if unable to keep himself from singing her praises, even when she had asked him not to. But she seems to like  _ that _ , she just doesn't want the words of love and adoration right now.

He is sitting on the edge of the bed, grabbing at her panties, taking them off with a bit more force than required, but she moans at his action, and god, she needs them off as badly as he does.

He kisses up her thighs next, teasing her, because he knows how close she already is, how much she needs it.

She moves her hands to his head, trying to push him into the right position so his tongue and mouth are where she needs him, but he denies her, stubbornly resisting.

She arches back against him, trying to quench the pulsing ache between her thighs, and Robin is completely unsympathetic to her situation.

"Robin" she warns.

She's gorgeous when she gives orders.

He looks up at her, ready to plead his case for taking his time with her, but as soon as his eyes meet hers he knows there is no point in arguing. This isn't about worshipping her and slowly building pleasure, it was about being fucked hard and passionate, thank you very much. His hands spread her legs further apart, one hand cups her ass, the other sits on her inner thigh and strokes small circles around her sex as his mouth finally goes exactly where she needs.

"Fucking hell Regina," he moans upon feeling how wet she was, tasting her all over again, his own arousal turned up so high he felt the need to reign himself in so he doesn't come all over himself giving her pleasure like a some inexperienced teenager. He needs a moment, has to draw himself back and take a deep breath, silently counting to three before he regains composure.

Robin explores her with his tongue, inside and out. They didn't have long enough together in the past, but he had learned what she liked in those few times together, and hell, he had been replaying those times over and over in his head since he left her, so he had not forgotten a thing.

Right before she asks, he slips a finger inside her, pressing his lips firmly against her clit, and both of them let out desperate moans.

"Fuck you feel amazing," he groans as he adds a second finger to her, sliding into her silky wetness easily.

He knows the angle, he knew the speed she preferred. And after a few moments, with the way she rocks against him, the breathy little pants and moans falling from her lips, he realizes she may be close – closer than he had thought.

So he sucks and licks her clit, applying more pressure, savoring the way her insides feel enveloped around his fingers.

.::.

Regina is coming apart quickly. She wants to savor the buildup, but she had been close for a while now, and she had been thinking about this for months, and he was doing every last thing she wanted, no  _ needed  _ and it was too late to hold back.

"Don't stop." She chokes, trying to get out the words but just managing " _ mm _ …close"

Robin  _ mm-s  _ in response, nodding his head a bit.

.::.

He feels it as she contracts around him, and, as he likes to do, he watches her orgasm wash over her whole body. Her hips first rolls towards him, then her back arches, her arms stretched out, as she opened her palms from clenched fists, her neck was thrown back and her face…her face at this moment was so beautiful. She breathes many shallow breaths until they were extinguished by a moan. And after her head was thrown back in ecstasy, she had the tiniest of smiles on her face, and her eyes were dazzling. She looks angelic.

"Come here." she asks, her voice full of lust and satisfaction, grabbing at his shoulders. And who is he to deny her anything?

.::.

This is good. Very good. Granted, there is a bit too much adoration in his eyes, at this point she would prefer hungry lustful gaze, something to keep her in the moment – thinking about how much she wanted to fuck him, and not moving onto thinking about how much she loved him, and whether he really loved her. Love is difficult, love is painful. If she acknowledged the fact she loves him she would have to be reminded of all that pain that he had caused her for so many months. And now was not about pain. Now was about pleasure.

She kisses him, her hips rocking against him, her legs wrapping around his torso. "I need you.. _ ohhhhh _ " and in that instant Robin enters her.

Regina gasps as she feels him just as she had remembered, but better. He fit her perfectly, as if he was made for her.

"No one else." Robin says in a throaty groan, trying to controlling his breath "No one else feels like you. You're perfect for me."

Regina had let a quest for power and revenge govern most of her life, and had very few lovers. Still, in her little experience, nothing she had ever had matched the intensity, heat, and satisfaction she gained with Robin. It meant something. It had to.

She watches him as he reacted to each thrust, breathing heavy, biting his lip, whispering how good she feels, how warm and wet and tight, and she feels herself coming undone again. She feels it building inside her, from a dull ache to an incessant need to release. She is lost in the lust completely for those moments, only mildly aware of how she must look when Robin nibbled her left ear and whispered in heated breath "you-look-too-good…" She thrust her hips back at him hard and he groans.

"I -can't" He pulls away from her ear and lifted himself up on his elbows. His eyes are closed tight now, like he was concentrating. "I—can't—last—much —  _ fuck _ , Regina."

She is meeting his thrusts, growing wetter, kissing him where she had learned he liked to be kissed, on his neck and the top of his chest.

She had means to tease him more, draw this out a little longer, but his desperate groans turn her on more than she anticipated, and he was good,  _ very good, _ at what he was doing inside her, hitting her perfectly with every thrust.

It is all too soon before he had her coming again, spouting out a few curse words as her insides clench and rub and massage Robin's cock.

And then he starts talking. He showers her with compliments, tells her how beautiful she is, how good she tastes, how good she feels around his cock, how much he missed her lips.

The rhythm he has set for them fails, his thrusts go a bit more desperate and fast, and he's close, very close, she can tell as much from there short time together. She rocks herself against him harder, licked his earlobe and bit just that way he likes, and he winces, groans her name, as some sort of warning, pulls himself out (she hadn't given him permission to come inside her, was she supposed to?) and he was coming hard against her thigh, groaning her name into her ear, collapsing next to her and kissing her forehead sweetly.

He's up a few minutes later using a small cloth to clean the mess he made on her, then laying next to her, breathing uneasy.

Regina isn't supposed to feel like this afterwards. This was supposed to be breakup sex, a last goodbye. Now she is supposed to remind him that they were over. That this couldn't work, that they had their time, but it was over now. She is supposed to feel physically satisfied and feel ready, prepared, to move on.

She is  _ not _ supposed to be feeling this sappy, floaty, happiness. She isn't supposed to want to put her head on his shoulder, letting him rub her back, but it is happening just the same. Something is washing over her, this peaceful calmness, and she just wants to sink into it. She doesn't want to face the reality of their situation just yet.

Robin draws her in close, peppering little kisses on the top of her head as she rests on his chest. His fingers lightly caress her back, as goosebumps flare over her perfect skin in their wake. The minutes passed by in silence as she slowly tries to work herself back to reality from where she is, up in the clouds stuck in some blissful fantasy.

Regina exhales slowly. She thinks of how to start this awkward conversation, how she will explain that  _ this _ didn't mean anything, it was just the last time. She opens her mouth to say something, but Robin speaks first.

"I can't live without you."

It's not said as a threat. Not said in desperation. Just said as a simple truth, as if he were acknowledging the color of the sky.

"Yes you can." Regina murmurs. And that was it, she was back to reality, every last painful moment came back.

"You did for months in New York." She leaves his embrace, putting space between them in the bed. She is staring at the ceiling, she sure as hell isn't going to look him in the eyes and be convinced that he  _ needs _ her. Not when all the evidence proves otherwise.

"That wasn't living," Robin says, turning to his side, grabbing her arm and caressing her palm with slow fingers, "That was surviving. I don't feel alive without you."

Regina doesn't say anything for a few moments. She just let his fingers touch her palms, feeling tingly and satisfying on her skin as she tries to work up the courage to say what she needs to say.

The silence thickens around the room and begins to weigh on her, until she just has to blurt it out.

"I don't like feeling this way." Regina admits softly.

Robin nods sympathetically, edging closer towards her, slowly, as if he's trying to position himself in a way that won't have her pushing him away. "Well of course, not. No one likes to feel this miserable."

"Vulnerable." Regina corrects, leaning into Robin's open shoulder. "Vulnerable and so exposed to you. And you know you have me, I'll never stop feeling this for you. No matter what. It's scary."

"But you know you have me. No matter what, and for always. My heart can't leave you either."

She lets out a deep breath, finally feeling able to sit up from the bed, taking a sheet with her, draping it over her body as she sits on the edge of the bed. Her back is to him now. She isn't going to face him. She isn't going to look into his eyes and say this now.

"I can't, we can't. I just keep thinking about you with her, how desperately you wanted her, wanted Marian. I can't live knowing you are wishing for the dead to come back so you can leave me and be with the one you truly want. I am not doing that, Robin. I don't wish for Daniel back anymore. I don't blame you for wishing for Marian. It's my own fault you don't feel that way about me, after everything I did…how could you?"

.::.

Robin stares into the distance, as he quietly stews over the words she had said. God, this situation is awful, and he is hurt and frustrated and angry at the world. How could she not know how he felt? How could he doubt what they had? Did she forget that easily? He sidles up behind her, til their bodies are flush against one another, desperate and frustrated and in love all at once.

"You can't believe that."

Regina only looks back at him, still choking back tears.

"I do." she says in a quiet controlled voice.

Robin cups her chin and tried to turn her face so he could look her in her eyes. But she refuses, she growing stiff and unyielding in his arms.

"Please look at me," he begs, aware he sounded desperate, but too upset to hide these feelings, "I wanted to tell you this the moment I kissed you, but I was afraid I'd scare you away. I wanted to tell you when you told me the story of the lion tattoo, but I wasn't sure you'd believe me yet. I wanted to tell you every day I was apart from you at every moment, but I knew it wasn't fair. And the instant you came back to me in New York, I wanted to tell you, but I knew you needed time to adjust. I should have told you a good year ago. I am completely, unabashedly, terrifyingly in love with you. Sometimes I feel it so deeply it actually hurts. This is stronger than any magic I've experienced. This is love. I love you."

.::.

And there it is.

Her eyes are misty, still full of unshed tears, but these aren't tears of sadness. It's more...relief. Because suddenly things are making sense. Robin is telling her he feels  _ exactly  _ as she does. She could not have articulated her own feelings better than he had just done right now.

Of course, she never had to choose Robin over Daniel, but she knows it would have been Robin in a heartbeat. If a separation was forced on her, she would not give up until she found a way to get back to him. Robin, somehow, echoed every feeling she felt in her heart yet he could so easily leave her.

But if she had a child with Daniel…things would be different. She tries to picture Henry being hers and Daniel's, thinking of what she would have done to make sure he knew his father after years of growing up away from him. It makes sense, then, the way he was with Marian. At least it certainly makes  _ more _ sense than continuing to stubbornly deny they had something special. She feels it, her instincts said it was true love, there was the whole pixie dust thing...

She sits on the edge of the bed, cloaking her naked body in a sheet, speechless, trying to process what to say next.

His "I love you" was hanging in the air, heavy and oppressive with the knowledge she was not yet ready to return the words, even if she very much reciprocated the feelings.

Regina finally sighs and turned to look at him. She cupped his cheek with her hand, noticing that his eyes were wet, and his cheek was swollen and damp. He had been quietly crying right next to her.

"If you could change the past —"

"I wouldn't. Not now. I wouldn't change one thing for fear I wouldn't have you right here, right now."

And it's almost too corny, almost too sappy, she rolls her eyes and laughs, he winces at her, and she realized she's hurt his feelings. It wasn't supposed to be that. Regina puts both of her hands on either side of his cheeks, looks into his eyes, kisses him sweetly and whispers "I know exactly how you feel. And I want to believe you, I want to believe in us."

Of course it's harder for her to not want to change the past. There are several innocent lives she'd like to spare, years of trying to kill Snow White she'd like to save herself from, and years of loneliness she could have avoided. Still, in this moment, she wouldn't want to change anything for fear she wouldn't have this man in front of her right now.

Robin moves (if only on instinct) into kiss her. "Then believe in us. This is true."

And his mouth is on her, kissing her deeply, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her back down to the bed. She lies on her back and he was on his side right next to her propped up on his elbow, his other hand around her stomach.

And she was letting him move her, letting her take control, letting herself just feel and believe that he hadn't made her a second choice, that they were truly in love. Sinking into the feeling just felt right, and he was so tired of fighting this.

Robin pulls back, a hand on her cheek and stares in her eyes. "I'm so glad I found you," he said tenderly and she smiles, thinking about all the pain that he's gone through since he met her, and he still seems to see her as a blessing.

Lovesick idiot.

She kisses him back, slowly and passionate, so different from the last time. One hand runs through his hair, the other skims down his back.

"Tell me." he whispers in between kisses as he caressed his hands up her arms, neck and shoulders, "Tell me you believe me. Tell me you know how much I love you."

"I believe you." Regina pants, and she did. She pulled back to smile at him. "And I love you too."

.::.

Robin feels a huge weight lift from him as she finally said the words he never thought he'd hear.

"I don't deserve to hear that," He says holding her face in his hands "But I'm so glad I did."

They continue to kiss lazily, softly, smiling between kisses.

"You..." He is kissing all over her shoulders now, ubbing up and down her side, lingering on the curve of her hip and the swell of her chest. "are bloody perfect."

His free hand is roaming, cupping her breasts a bit as he moved down to squeeze her hips, and Regina isn't sure where this is leading. It has only been a few minutes since the last time, and she doesn't really think this would lead to another round – at least not so soon after the last time. Still, when his fingers grazed her nipples, gently at first, and then more firmly, rolling over them as they hardened in his hands, and she glanced to look at his face, she saw the same passion she had seen many times before and lets herself lean into the feeling. His face falls to her chest, kissing around her nipples, his tongue slowly dragging around the flesh close by, lightly touching the tips of her nipples with his tongue, careful to only put enough pressure to be a tease.

Regina's body responds to the touch almost instantly, though her body had craved  _ this  _ from the moment she heard him say he loved her. She bites her lip as his teasing touches become more serious, and then she loses her resolve completely and wraps her leg around his waist. They are still undressed, she can feel him, hard as ever, just a few minutes after their last exploit.

"Already?" she asks, a raised eyebrow looking at him.

He smiles, closing his eyes, a hint of embarrassment across his face.

"Your fault," he reminds her "you do this to me. And I'm pretty sure we have a lot of lost time to make up for, and my body is keenly aware of that."

And in only a matter of time his hands reach up her thighs to find her thoroughly ready as well, but it seems Robin is too caught up in the moment totease her back.

"You are the most beautiful woman in this or any world. More beautiful than I remembered. Even though I saw you every time I closed my eyes, there is nothing like seeing you in person."

They wrap up in each other, and it's slower, more passionate, lighter. They savor each other, and when he enters her she feels some sort of completeness, a happiness and wash of relief washing over her that she just can't place. Everything feels right in the world. He picks up the pace, and the passion is there, but he's whispering words of love now, words she can finally believe, and savor.

They come together (she wants him to finish inside her, to come with her, she begs that of him) kissing each other passionately, and holding tight onto one another.

"I love you." he says as he collapses next to her on the bed. He kisses her on the temple and holds her close.

"I love you too." Regina answers with deep, serious honesty.

She had never felt so connected to a person, had never felt so in control of her own unpredictable temper. She had this need to unburden herself to him, to share everything she was feeling, yet she had no fear that exposing that much of herself would scare him off.

Robin decides to lighten the mood. "I'm assuming that's not what you expected when you put your heart back in," He winks at her. "If this is what you were working so hard to deprive me of, you are ungodly cruel."

"I didn't expect this to happen." Regina admits, almost asleep as her weight pressed further onto Robin, "I was pretty sure I was going to be throwing fireballs and smashing hearts."

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, your majesty."

"It's a welcome change." Regina smiles, "I don't know what happened. It's like I looked at you, and that irrational anger side of me so focused on a bloody revenge…just shut down. I could suddenly control the anger, and all the emotion. And now…after…I just feel so… _ different. _ "

"Different how?" Robin asks, they were both laying on their sides now, facing each other, wraps in a light sheet and nothing else.

Regina struggles to put into words what she felt. "I feel…more at peace with who I am. Light and dark. I used to always worry that I'd turn back to evil, give into evil, and lose whatever good I had. But now…I just feel them both together inside. Even. Steady. I think something inside you keeps me…in control. It's….nice"

"I'm glad." Robin rubs her arm absently, looking into her eyes.

"And I…I feel connected to you. I want to tell you everything." She pauses and looked down for a second. "I usually prefer to internalize. But it is like something changed…I don't know."

"I feel that too." Robin says with a smile. "That's probably a soulmate thing."

Regina sighs because he's right, it probably is, and that is unfair. He didn't really voluntarily sign up for this, for being the soulmate of a tortured woman who had committed some serious atrocities, horrible acts she relived and replayed in her mind from day to day, things she wish she could forget but knew, deep down, she shouldn't forget. And if she is being pushed to share things with him, if he is telling her it is okay, why not just get it all out?

".…there's so much to do, so much I need to fix with Emma…."

Robin kisses her forehead and stroked her hair. "Rest first. You look exhausted, love." She looks at him suspiciously, and he quickly amended "Beautiful, but exhausted."

And she is exhausted, and feeling less burdened now, lighter, ready to sleep for the first time since Emma became dark.

She agrees with a slight hum, and then moves against him, angling his own body so they are spooning. He chuckled lightly at how she buried herself against him, the woman who had once told him she liked her space, preferred to sleep alone, the woman who had previously shunned intimacy – now that person is practically using him as her own blanket.

He leans over her for just a second to kiss her cheek, then lays back down, his arm around her stomach, his hand absently against her breast. They fit together just so, and it is so comfortable, so warm, that he can't help but fall asleep within minutes of laying next to her.


	4. Chapter 4

In the middle of the night, Regina startles awake, her heart pounding, still feeling the threat of imminent death.

She glances at the clock on the wall. 3:08 AM.

She has to get back to sleep, if only for a few hours. But adrenaline is still pumping through her veins, and she couldn't get the image of Emma – dark, angry, evil Emma – out of her mind. An Emma that punished her for the crimes for which she deserved to suffer while Henry looked at her the way he once did, with disgust and pure loathing. God, it was awful. But it was only a dream.

She distracts herself from reliving the dream by looking at Robin, sleeping soundly next to her. She runs her fingers absently down his chest, watching him adjust and respond to her touch though he didn't quite wake up. He just sighs and smiles, and god, he is a good looking man, and though she never uses such words out loud, he truly looks adorable when he sleeps.

But seconds later his eyes open, staring at her as she smiles over him, tried to put the fears of the nightmare away as her fingers caressing his chest and shoulders.

"What is wrong, love?" Robin is perceptive, or perhaps he just knows Regina too well, but he can tell there was something making her uncomfortable, on edge.

"Nothing," she starts, but she sees his brows furrow and reminds herself that he is safe. "I just had a nightmare."

Robin draws her in close, wrapping an arm around her and positioning her so her head was laying on his chest. "What type of nightmare?"

"Emma…my past…Henry..." she cackles bitterly, not wanting to explain. "A little bit of everything."

Robin squeezed her tighter. "What do you think brought that on?" He asks softly, not knowing his place, or what would help.

"I don't know…" she pauses, "right now I feel so guilty for the past and I feel like if I don't talk about it will continue to weigh on me, and I won't be strong enough to help Emma. I want to talk to you about it, but…this is dark."

"You can tell me anything." He's looking at her earnestly, and doesn't he know what her past entails? How can he be so certain?

"You may want to leave. And if you do, I need to let you leave now. I feel like I have everything under control, my light and dark tendencies…but I don't know what opening up all these old wounds will do. I need to keep the protection spell up so if I go dark and get dangerous I can't hurt anyone." She knows that Robin won't leave her. That stupid, loyal, loving man.

"I am not leaving you, certainly not to something this important."

"Alright. But I warned you." Regina she says slowly, an eyebrow raised pointedly.

That night, just there, she confesses some of the worst crimes that had plagued her thoughts. Robin listens to her reveal everything, somethings he already knew, but many he did not. Still, all of it was hard to say to his beautiful face, to keep waiting for the look of disgust to cross his face, for him to say  _ enough  _ and leave her.

He never does.

But then she gets to the Huntsman, Graham, and how she had  _ used  _ him, how she had ultimately killed him, it becomes too much – she's too disgusted in  _ herself  _ it seems, and suddenly her body revolts, vomit creeping up her throat until she's unable to suppress it any longer. She runs to the tiny powder room in the vault as she wretches loudly and ugly, hoping to god Robin can't see her like this, because god…

But then two strong hands are on her back, drawing intricate patterns on shoulder blades in a way that soothes her. When she's done purging herself of any trace of food left in her body, she flushes the toilet and stands up. He follows suit, putting a hand on her cheek.

"You're not that person anymore. Everything you have done has been because you were hurt, you felt wronged. It was like a switch you couldn't control. And now you can. Look at how you are controlling this. You aren't that person anymore."

Regina shutters. "I know it's the soulmate thing, and I trust you love me, but I still don't know how to thank you for looking past me…especially considering…Marian. And that, that I took that from Roland…I will never forgive myself, I swear that to you."

Robin looks confused, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts, "Surely you know that execution never happened?"

But she  _ doesn't  _ know that, she was sure she killed Marian. "What do you mean?"

Robin laughs "Regina if everyone who withheld information on Snow White was actually executed this town would be about half the size. The guards would let them go, usually for a small price. You never seemed to notice or mind."

She studies his face carefully, looking for any possible hint of a lie in his face. There is none. It's true, then. She never killed Marian. She  _ would  _ have, but didn't. It's still a weight off her shoulders, because knowing she killed Marian, and made the boy she loves an orphan, that was just…a lot to bear.

Regina smiles gratefully back at him. "I've never been so glad to hear my guards were so corrupt."

"Marian died in a bar. We were celebrating at the bar The Devil's Brew. No place for an actual lady and certainly not a place for a new mother, there was a brothel upstairs, but we were happy and wanted ale and who would have thought it would get dangerous? A brawl started. Stools were thrown, bottles smashed…I tried to get Marian and Roland out. A man in front of Marian ducked while another threw a punch. It hit Marian. She fell, hit her neck on something, a railing, I think. It broke her neck, instantly killed her. Like that. After all my valiant efforts to save her, her death was simply that. My fault."

Regina's face screws into deep concentration. "Marian's been in mortal danger before that, during childbirth? The time you used magic to heal her."

Robin nods. "I rescued her from a series of prisons, dungeons, stole medicine when she almost died from terrible illnesses. She was always in need of rescuing, and my life was made up of times I rescued Marian. When she came back, that intense need to care for her, to make sure she was ok, it returned. It could be the reason I was so…wrapped up with my damn honor."

"None of it was your fault." Regina insists. "You gave her years of life she'd never have had without you. I've often wondered if some people are just fated to die young and others not. I've observed it. Even charted it at one point. At the time, I thought it might be the reason I couldn't kill Snow White. She had not been fated to 'die young'." Regina rolls her eyes at her past self, before looking seriously at Robin. She held out a hand.

"We should have had this talk a long time ago. Even when you're the one in crisis you still find a way to ease my pain." he acknowledges.

There is a pause where they just look at each other. Where Regina just lets herself revel in this, in having someone in her corner, who understands her and accepts her for who she is. Someone she can share everything with. Even things she cares not to admit.

"Emma is in pain, and it's my fault, and I want to hurt everyone who has caused it to happen. Including myself." Regina admits. "She always pushed, she wanted me to let her in, but I never fully trusted her. And now, there's so much to make up for, and I don't know how to fix it." She was shaking now, tears were pricking behind her eyes, but it's okay, she can get through this. "I never let her know I even tolerated her, let alone, that I feel this connection, that I felt, like…."

"You love her." Robin cuts in confidently.

Regina's first instinct is to roll her eyes and laugh, but then she thought for a moment, trying to work through if that could be possible.

"I do." she agrees. "She's my family, she's the only one in town who is close to understanding me. And she is the only one who loves Henry like I do. It's tearing me up inside, knowing what's going to happen to her. She can fight the darkness for awhile. She's so strong, she has a child she loves, that is a very powerful force. But it will win. And if she changes and I can't fix it…."

A part of Regina hated the way she was sounding. Weak. Childish. Scared. But at the same time, saying everything out loud took a great weight off her shoulders. She didn't have to put a brave face on with him. One look into his eyes reminded of her of that.

Robin 's voice is steady and confident. "I have complete faith in you. You will figure this out. Regina, you always do. There's no one more resourceful. There's no one I'd trust more in a crisis, certainly no one more capable."

Slowly, Regina felt all the oppressively heavy emotions of fear and guilt lightening, just a bit. They would never disappear – they shouldn't! She deserved to live with some of this. But she felt lighter than she had in years, freer, like Robin had helped her escape some sort of prison.

And now she feels like she can finally sleep. She settles against him, snuggling in, and whispering "I'm glad you're here."

Robin kissed her forehead and nodded in agreement. She was leaning up against him, emotionally and physically exhausted, she had only slept a few hours before the nightmares woke her up.

"Now then, time for bed." Robin smiles. Regina looked a bit upset. "Mi'lady?"

"You can't leave. We're stuck until I can take the protection spell down" She breaths. "I trapped you with me."

Robin scoffs. "I'm not leaving you, love." He caresses her cheek and her left arm as he watched her fall deep asleep. "I'm not leaving you ever again."

Regina falls asleep in his arms, a deep sleep that she did not break from until the morning, feeling his mouth on her ear, his hands in her hair. Everything is easier with Robin. Even sleep.

"Good morning."

Regina stretches out and wraps her arms around him.

"I love you." She's not ever the first to say those words, not to anyone but her son. But they come out freely then.

He echoes her words immediately, between kisses he planted on her neck and shoulders. His arms tracing over her curves, pausing to trace circles around her nipples, and she knew where this was going.

"What time is it?" Regina asks, unsure if they have time to finish what he is clearly starting.

"Half past nine."

"Robin…" she shoves at him to attempt to move him off her and tried to wiggle out of his embrace. They had to go. He had to know that.

He looks up from her neck and shoulders, where he had been planting a line of kisses and stared at her, his eyes dark with desire.

"Regina, please. I need you."

And she can't turn him down. Especially not when his begging sparks such desire in her. Especially when his hands and mouth are working every place he knows she loves. But she needs a shower, she needs to get out of this grungy vault for the first time in 48 hours.

"You're insatiable." She laughs.

"Only with you."

She looks at Robin, soaking in the way he looks at her. So warm so sweet. Her heart swells with emotion. Emotion she can channel to conjure the light magic to break the protection spell trapping them in the vault..

She poofs them back into her bedroom, and she gets up, walking into the bathroom. When the water runs enough to get nice and hot she calls to Robin and asks if he's joining her or not.

And of course he is.

He takes the opportunity to wash her, to touch every inch of her, to run his fingers through her hair as he shampoos her, just another way to worship her, prolonging the want, the pent up lust in both of them, and then takes her, hard and fast against the shower walls, nipping and biting and sucking at whatever piece of her he can get his mouth on, his hands firmly against her ass.

As they turn off the shower water she feels clean, new, fresh, for the first time in a long time. All the dirt and emotional baggage is gone.

"Breakfast?" He asks as he ran a towel over her body, drying her carefully. "I can't imagine the last time you ate. You must be starving."

She nods. "You check on Roland. Bring him to Granny's. I'll invite Henry and Emma. I have to face the town eventually." she said with a sigh "But now…now I can handle it."

Without another word she was changing into clothes, caught up in a focused determination.

Robin frowned looking around the room before conceding "My clothes are back in the vault."

Regina laughed, told him to hold on, and grabbed some clothes out of a drawer in the hall. "Here."

Robin stares at the clothes, confused until she adds. "They were…in the vault from the last time, remember I had to get you new clothes? They were filthy. I cleaned them for you."

Robin  _ Ahhs  _ and thanks her and threw on his clothes.

He hugged her tightly, coaxing her into a kiss that went a little further than it should. When Regina started kissing his neck, he pulled back. "No more of that," he said playfully, "or I'm never going to let you leave this room." Regina laughed, and with that they parted ways with plans to meet for breakfast soon.

.::.

Regina walks into Granny's, the first of her party to arrive. Because, of course. She was the only one who kept her appointments. She sat in her booth with a paper in hand until she heard Roland squealing behind her "REGINA!" throwing his hands in the air for no reason.

"Roland!" Regina answers, and, mimicking him, she threw her hands in the air too. It was so unlike her, so childish and playful, it earned more than a few stares. But Regina didn't care, because she had made Roland smile and laugh. Regina picked him up, hugging him, and swept him onto her lap. Roland looked down at her paper.

"What are you reading?" He asks, "Can you read to me?"

Regina crinkles her nose. "It's grown-up boring stuff. What I think you'd rather do…" Regina uses magic to conjure some crayons and paper "is make me one of your special pieces of art. Don't you think?"

"I'll make you a castle!"

Robin watches the two interact with a pleasant smile on his face. She is rough and hard-headed, his Regina, yet she had this caring, mothering instinct that made her so complex and irresistible. Regina looked up and saw Robin staring at her, adoring her.

Regina pats the spot next to her. "Come sit," she motions to Robin with a smile, before adding a soft, "I missed you."

It had only been a few hours, and it felt ridiculous to miss him, but she had. She felt like a giddy newlywed, and as insufferable as Old Regina would find her, New Regina couldn't find it in her heart to care.

Robin sat down and they ordered. Ruby raised her eyes as she took Regina's order. Regina had ordered a full breakfast for the first time since the curse had broken. Ordinarily she would order a coffee, maybe a grapefruit or some oatmeal, but now it was eggs and toast and bacon.

After they order the door opens and Emma walked in. Regina turned to see her enter, and was instantly hit by how much darker she had gotten since the last time they talked. But she wouldn't mention it because that could only make things worse.

"Henry, Emma, did you have a good night?" She tries to keep her voice breezy, but wonders if her son can sense her worry. But then she sees Hook walking behind them, and she rolls her eyes. He was not family to her, and had certainly  _ not _ been invited to breakfast.

"Well good morning to you too,  _ your majesty. _ " Hook winks, smiling broadly.

Emma sits down across from Regina, observing how she was handling Roland.

"Well look who put her heart back inside her." Emma grabs Regina's hand with a smile. Then her face wrinkled in disgust.

"Ugh, among other things, god you two!" Regina's eyes go wide in embarrassment. Apparently Emma's naturally strong sense of intuition had combined with the power from her darkness, and she could apparently see something. Maybe just her emotions, or flashes of her thoughts…but it's still disturbing.

"Emma" Regina shot Emma a warning shot, tilting her head over at Roland and then glancing at Henry. "Not here."

"Well then you stop….ogling him." Emma demands.

"We don't ogle….how was your night, Swan?"

"It was pretty crappy, I kept having nightmares that someone was going to either use the dagger to kill me or use the dagger to get me to kill Henry, did I have a chance to thank you for all those wonderful thoughts you've given me? Just at least tell me who has the dagger so I know it's someone I trust."

Regina had been prepared for such manipulation, and nothing Emma was saying was surprising her. Emma reminded Regina of herself, when she was turning dark. Watching Emma go through the transformation was difficult, especially since Regina couldn't stop it. It was like watching herself fall into darkness all over again.

"I can't tell you, Emma, I'm sorry. But you can read me, you know when I'm lying. So I'm telling you right now. The dagger is in good hands. I am trusting that person with your life, and I am trusting you with Henry's life. I would not do that if I wasn't sure."

Emmas eyes dance across Regina the entire time she speaks, analyzing her words, reading her carefully. "You're telling the truth." she says, decidedly. "But you're also keeping something from me. What is it?"

Regina held back the key piece – being around Henry was pretty much Emma's only shot to avoid being completely overtaken by the Dark One. But telling her that might upset her too much. Like Regina, Emma did not want to put Henry in charge of saving his mom. She would not allow it.

"I suppose I'm holding back the location of the dagger." she says, winking at Emma.

Emma groans. "Why are you so obsessed with controlling me?"

"Emma, I'm not."

"You are, and let's face it, you're not doing this because you're worried for my soul, or my happiness. Because god knows you've been trying to kill me for years. You don't want me to go dark because then I'll have light and dark magic, just like you. Except I'll be more powerful. And that terrifies you."

Emma stares at Regina for a reaction, but all Regina did was chatter something to Roland to keep him occupied in his coloring. She is in control. Her anger and frustration is kept at bay, which surprises even Regina herself.

"Mom, no one's hurting you, you have to know this is the Dark One…" Henry interjects.

"Kid, there's a lot of stuff I know now. I'm seeing clearer than ever. Your mom over here doesn't like competition."

Hook and Robin glance at each other, neither sure whether to involve themselves in the brewing fight.

"No, I like competition." Regina says, looking her in the eyes playfully.

Truthfully, Emma was not yet competition – at least not against Regina and everyone else in town that would fight against the Dark One. But soon, she would be. Soon, she would be more powerful than anyone she had seen. She would blow Rumple out of the water. And when she became the Dark One, it was only a matter of time before she destroyed her enemies. "Rumple was competition. You are not. I'd welcome a battle with you, but I'm trying not to use dark magic these days. It drains a lot out of you, and it always comes with a price. Remember that."

"Yeah if I use it I might live for centuries and be great and powerful before dying, like Rumple, how sad." Emma rolls her eyes.

Henry suddenly realized what Emma had been thinking. "Wait, you WANT to be the dark one?"

Emma sighs. "That's not exactly what I mean, I'm saying IF I stay the Dark One, it wouldn't mean anything serious-"

"Rumple could never truly love Belle. His true love was power. What if you loved power more than me? Do you want that?"

Henry looks legitimately concerned at Emma. Emma processed what he said, realizing he was right. "No, of course I don't." Her features relax, smooth as if a wave of calm washes over her. "Thanks, kid."

Regina reaches across the table to squeeze her hand. "I will fix this," Regina whispers. "I will not let this happen to you."

Emma whispers a tentative "thank you", but her facial expression seemed solemn, almost angry. She was plotting something.

"So are we going to Camelot?" Henry asks. He had somehow ordered a milkshake with his breakfast, easily unnoticed with the morning tension.

" _ We _ aren't going anywhere" Regina corrects "I will go. Alone."

"Absolutely not!" cries Robin at the same time Henry and Emma said "No you're not!" in unison.

Regina lets out a sharp breath of air. "Emma, I need you with our son."

"Bullshit, get one of his hundreds of parents to watch him. Pretty much everyone in Storybrooke lays some sort of claim to him."

"No, it has to be you. If he's not with me he needs someone to protect him while I'm away."

"You're afraid something will hurt him while you're gone?"

Regina shrugs. "Rumple could wake up. Zelena could escape. Maleficent is still here. Hell, Lily's still around. You really want to leave our son with the Charmings and their infant son? What are they going to do, sing the dragons a lullaby? Charm Lily with their tales of true love? Come on, Emma, I know your mom is resourceful and cunning, and David is strong and courageous, but against these forces why take the risk?"

Emma laughs dryly. "Okay point taken. So Henry and I will go to Camelot too."

Regina throws her head into the palm of her hand. Emma can be so frustrating. "No, Emma…It's going to be too dangerous for him."

Henry had had enough of being treated like a child, and let out an exasperated sigh, a sound much older than a 13 year old would normally make. "Why do people keep forgetting I saved this whole town? Stop treating me like this. I can go!"

Regina shot Henry a look that said "play along". He understood her immediately. She wanted him to watch over Emma. Emma couldn't be trusted to go.

"Fine." Henry concedes, still, somewhat upset he would miss out on the new adventure.

Regina quickly finishes her thoughts. "We're looking for literally the most powerful sorcerer who has ever existed. I'm alright with risking my own life, but I'm not alright risking yours." She squeezed Emma's arm again. "Certainly not Henry's."

Emma was shocked at the honesty of the words. She expected to see a trace of a lie, and the fact there was absolutely nothing but truth shocked her.

"What happened to you? Why are you acting all…nice to me?" Emma asksbluntly, confusion laced in her words.

Regina laughs. "Who knew that all you had to do was sacrifice yourself for me to make me be nice?"

'You're still not going to Camelot alone." Robin interjects. Regina looks at him. He had some genuine concern in his face.

"We'll figure the details out later." Regina says, Belle catching her eye out of her peripheral vision.

"Did you find something?" she called to Belle, who had rushed in with a small package.

Belle handed her a small vial, inside were tiny pebbles, slightly larger than grains of sand. "Not sure what this is, but Rumple had it labelled Camelot. It apparently has some type of magic.

"These are from the stone that held Excalibur." Regina said, analyzing the small pebbles.

"Someone went to the trouble of digging around where the sword was pulled from the stone to find parts the sword has touched. It's powerful magic."

"Thank you, once again. How's Rumple?"

"No change." Belle frowns

Hook put his hand on Belle's shoulder. "I'm sorry. The crocodile was no friend of mine but I hate to see you hurt."

"I know what he was, but it wasn't in his heart. It was the Dark One." Her eyes have focused on Emma, maybe unintentionally, but the implication is clear.

Emma groans. "Maybe it's not. Maybe he was just evil the whole time. Do any of us know for sure?"

Belle responds sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Emma, I-I forgot. I'm so sorry you're going through this. She turned to Regina. "Is she…is she alright?"

"She's fine." Regina sounds...protective. A bit snippy. "Thanks for your concern, but Emma can handle this. She's the same person she was a few days ago. You can tell everyone in town so they can stop treating her like she's something to be afraid of."

Regina's tone seems to confuse Emma. Afterall, she was passionately defending her – the person she tried to run out of town, the person she tried to kill.

Belle nodded, tears in her eyes. Rumple had been the Dark One, and he had no one but her to defend him, no one to believe there was good in him. Emma had the entire community. No wonder he had become so dark.

"I…I gotta go. Good luck Regina."

As soon as she leaves, Emma reacts. "If you think I'm nothing to be afraid of why in the hell are we even removing this from me? Can't I keep the Dark One and figure out how to manage it, control it? Like I figured out how to manage my magic last time?"

Regina shrugs. "It's a possibility. But I don't know anything about it. I can't teach you to control it. Rumple might be able to if he ever wakes up from the coma he's in."

"I am not going to trust Rumple. He's going to be after the dagger to get the darkness back. Even having him in Storybrooke is dangerous. When he's awake, we need a plan to get rid of him permanently."

Emma is already thinking more like a villain than a hero. Hook, Henry and Robin disagreed with her plan, and told her so. He deserved a chance. He was weak, he was not going to be able to hurt her. It wasn't right to slaughter him.

"Regina, you haven't weighed in." Emma says pointedly, wanting to hear what Regina thought about disposing of Rumple.

"I'm not sure I entirely disagree. I'd probably consider killing him as soon as he woke up. But Emma…" Regina shoots her a warm look, "Do you want to be like me?"

Emma focuses on the coffee mug in front of her, adjusting her grip on it nervously. There's nothing like a well-timed reminder to set her in place.

Regina sighed. "Well, that's settled."

She shifts in her seat.

"Robin, I need to get up." Robin grabs Roland from Regina's arms. Regina touches Roland's forehead lightly and Robin notices a brief flicker. Regina had put a spell on him earlier, Robin is sure about it. Roland had been quietly coloring for the entire conversation, pausing only to eat the pancakes he had ordered. Now the serious conversation was over and Regina had undid the spell. Regina is always protecting him.

"Where are you going, Regina?"

"Yeah where are you going?" Roland chips, suddenly animated again.

"To see Isaac. He's seen the most of Merlin. Thank you for the very lovely castle, Roland. I will have to frame it." Roland beams as Regina carefully puts his artwork into her purse.

"Isaac is still here?" Emma cries incredulously.

"Mary Margaret and David caught him before he left town. Didn't they tell you?" Regina stares at her skeptically, adding "He's in jail right now."

"We're just going to let him sit in jail after he almost killed Henry? After he almost killed us all? Regina you can't be ok with that." Emma looks perplexed, dark, angry. And it was completely understandable to Regina.

"I'm not," Regina responds with a shrug. "But this is what heroes do, and I have learned to stop fighting their ways. Besides, he's useful alive in this case."

"He's never going to give you any information…" Emma points out skeptically.

"I can be very persuasive, Emma." Regina smiles. "Sorry to leave breakfast early, but I want to catch Isaac early. Bye Roland!"

Roland gives Regina a hug before climbing back into his dad's arms. "I'll talk to you soon." Regina said to Robin. She turns to leave, but he grabs her hand and holds her back.

"Hold on a minute." Robin's voice is playful and light, his eyes shining.

Regina frowns at him, puzzled.

"I love you." Robin gently swings the hand he's holding of hers, that adorable, sheepish look on his face. Emma and Hook exchanged shocked glances. Even Henry looked surprised.

Regina feels her heart skip a beat, though she was all too aware of her surroundings. She feels embarrassed, on display, yet unable to not return the words when he was looking at her like  _ that _ .

She put a hand on Robin's shoulder and kisses him. "I love you too", she murmors. She feels herself blushing and quickly changed the topic "Henry, can you come here for a minute?"

Henry gets up from his seat and walked over to his mother. She drew him into a big hug.

"I'll be sure to say goodbye before I head off." She says, kissing his forehead. "I love you, and I'm proud of you." She reaches into her pocket and palms an object in her hand, sliding it into her son's stealthily "You can talk to me through this, it will translate through realms. If something happens, you tell me immediately. If something happens with Emma, you go to the Charmings and call me. If the Charmings aren't there, it's Granny's or Hook's. Do you understand?"

"I got it mom." Henry says hugging her. "I can handle Emma."

Regina glanced back at Emma, pleasantly surprised to see Hook entertaining her. "Speaking of Emma….Henry, if anyone hurts you in any way, a bully at school, a teacher gives you a bad test grade, hell, you get too much cinnamon in your hot chocolate – you can't tell Emma, ok? Protecting you is the easiest way for her to use dark magic. I know. I've been there."

"Henry looked up at his mom and whispered "She's not ok, mom. She's trying but she's not…"

"I know. Just keep reminding her of who you want her to be – who she was. No one can stop her from turning, but you can delay it for awhile. You are a brilliant, resourceful child. And I know you can do this. You are my son."

"Don't worry mom, I got it."

And with that Regina made her way out of the diner.

.::.

Regina stares triumphant at Isaac from the other side of the metal bars.

"Your majesty," Isaac bows sarcastically. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You just tried to kill my son. If I were you I'd be a little less cavalier." She snarls.

Isaac laughs. "I know all my characters, Regina, and you aren't too complicated of a character. You aren't going to hurt me."

"Don't count on it."

Regina holds out her hand and Isaac extended in the air, being choked by the magic Regina was wielding. Though his face turned red, and his eyes watered, he had this smug look on his face that Regina could not place. Eventually, she set him down. Isaac gasped on the floor immediately.

"Like…I…said," he chokes between gasps, "you….can't….really…hurt…me…too scared."

"Scared?" Regina laughs. "You're going to have to explain."

After catching his breath, Isaac explains. "You are afraid of losing your loved ones. You go dark, you lose Robin. And Henry. And Emma." There is a twinkle in his eye now. He must think he has won, but then, he doesn't know about Emma's recent transformation, does he?

"Where is Merlin?" Regina asks bluntly.

Isaac guffaws. "You're asking me of all people? Last time I saw the guy he imprisoned me in a book. And I didn't even really see him. I just saw some smoke…a swirl…you're never going to find him. And no way am I going to help."

"I am afraid I'm going to have to insist on your help."

Isaac stares directly into Regina's eyes, enunciating his words sharply, aiming to torment her. "I'm. Not. Scared. Of. You. You can't force me to do anything. Now I suppose the Dark One is after Merlin and you want to find him first? Well good luck, Dark One. You people ruined me. I am not giving you an ounce of help. "

"I thought you might say that." Regina responds coolly. "And you're right. I want to crush your little throat and slice off each of your fingers and toes one by one. And as much as I think it's justified, I can't risk darkness overpowering my heart anymore. But, if you don't tell me, I'll be forced to tell Emma you wouldn't cooperate."

Isaac lets out a loud, amused shout of laughter, provoking her further. "Emma? You're threatening me with Emma? My god, Regina, you are such a disappointment. I expected so much more out of the former Evil Queen."

"You  _ did  _ torture Emma in your book. She lived through quite a horrid fate, thanks to you." Isaac smiles and nods, as if he was proud with his accomplishment. "And after what you did to Henry….he's her son too."

"Yes, yes, she will give me quite a lecture."

"That's just the thing, Isaac. The Dark One isn't big on lectures."

Isaac screws his face into a puzzled frown. "Okay, what does Rumple have to do with this?"

"Nothing," Regina smiles coyly, unable to contain the excitement she had in revealing this. "Rumple isn't the dark one anymore. Emma is."

Isaac's eyes widen.

"That's right. Emma is the Dark One, and you just tortured her and tried to kill her child. Oh, and I forgot, I just told her you were here, in jail. Without my protection, she'll come for you. My guess is, not soon after I leave, soo….."

"Talk to Maleficent." Isaac shouts desperately. His demeanor changed from cocky to terrified in seconds flat.

"She knows Merlin from long ago. Things were rocky between them, both Merlin and Maleficent are shape-shifters and go into dragon form. I think she was….jealous of all his powers." Isaac's face fell. He used to be so important to the entire realm of the enchanted forest, but now, he was barely relevant. "I…I just don't know much about Merlin. I had an opportunity to explore him more when I traveled to Camelot. I can show you the room where he appeared. I should have explored him more. At the time, he was just like a strict teacher constantly reminding me of what I was doing that was wrong."

Regina had paper and a pen out for him. "I'd like you to draw a map of where Merlin appeared to you. Whatever castle, whatever home, whatever inn, name it, and tell me how to get there."

"I can do you better. I can take you there." Isaac pleads, unable to keep the fear out of his voice.

'Absolutely not, do you think I'm an idiot?"

"I have no power, no ability, I'm not a threat to you. Plus I know Camelot well, you'll be easier with me. And if you leave me here….Emma is going to kill me."

Regina winks. "Well, I can only hope. Sleep tight, Isaac."

And with that, Regina sashays out of the office. Of course, Isaac was in no real danger, she had seen to that – a short little spell on the dagger that would prevent Emma from acting on any attempt to kill Isaac on Zelena. It killed her to do any favor for someone who had hurt so many of her loved ones, but this is what Henry would have wanted her to do.

.::.

It's a pretty little cottage on the edge of town. It's small, disarming, and homey. Regina couldn't remember who had owned it before Maleficent reappeared in Storybrooke, but she had claimed it as her own, and no one had protested. Maleficent prefers the quiet, the places removed from the wandering eyes and ears of nosy townspeople, and it fit her perfectly. Regina liked the look of the place, imagining the inside was probably more ornate, as was Maleficent's style.

There was no response to her first knock, which made Regina chuckle. Why even bother doing this dance? Maleficent knew Regina never gave up.

"Maleficent, we both know you're right on the other side of this door and you're going to talk to me eventually, so why not just talk to me now?"

The door opens, then, and Regina is surprised to see Lily on the other side of it. "What do you want Regina?" she asks, a discerning glance

"I need to talk to your mother. It's important."

"Is it about Emma? Poor Emma's heart is dark and the world goes to save her, but the Charmings make me dark and no one cares…."

Regina stares Lily in the eye. "If you want to blame someone for your dark heart you blame Mary Margaret and David. Emma is blameless. She was an infant. Now…where's your mother?"

Regina's defense of Emma appeared to shock Lily. As angry and as jealous as she was of Emma, Regina can't help but believe Lily knows she is right. The punishment should not be against Emma.

"Regina!" Maleficent enters the room as if prepared for a fight. "Stop yelling at my daughter and get out."

"We need to find Merlin."

Maleficent raises her eyebrows. "We?"

"You need to help me."

"And why would I?"

"This isn't Emma's fault. And this will never be over until we can get rid of the Dark One once and for all. The only way is with Merlin. And apparently you know him quite well? He can assume dragon form as well?"

Lily is suddenly interested in the conversation. Her father was also a dragon.

"Camelot used to be subject to dragon attacks, both actual dragon attacks, and wizards who could become dragons." Maleficent recalls with a smile. "And it's true, Merlin was one of those. But he was much more. Extremely powerful. But…. " her demeanor shifts to a regrettable frown, "we had a falling out and I have no desire to help you bring him here, ever again. So please leave Regina."

"I'll help" Lily offers at once. "I'll go to Camelot with you. I can transform into a dragon too. Maybe I can talk to them, get to know them. I want to know more people like me."

Maleficent nearly growls in response. "Lily, you're not going out there. There's nothing for you. Besides you'd only be used to do the bidding of a bunch of heroes that will stab you in the back the moment you have time to breathe."

Lily keeps her eyes focused on Regina during her mother's words. "So, you ok with me going?"

"Absolutely" Regina smirks, her eyes never leaving Maleficent's, here eyebrows raised in a dare. This was perfect.

"Lily, if you're going to insist I'm not letting you go alone." Maleficent groans.

"No one is stopping you from coming with me, mom." She looks at Regina intently. "Right?"

Regina pauses to work out the logistics of travelling with one of her greatest enemies. An enemy who did not have a common goal in mind.

"I need her full commitment to finding Merlin. Otherwise bringing your mother along will just….complicate the trip. But you're welcome to come without her."

Maleficent scoffs. "You wouldn't last long in Camelot without me."

"Will Merlin know who my father is?" Lily tilts her head, her eyes wide and hopeful.

Maleficent furrows her brow, squints her eyes, as if trying to work out the answer to a complicated equation. "He knows a lot. But I'm not sure he'll know that."

Regina speaks up. "When Merlin found out that Isaac changed your daughter's fate, he set on a path to try to reverse it. He's looking out for her. If he can take the darkness out of Emma…"

Maleficent nods, all the sudden realizing that this was a good idea, as it benefited her as well. "He can take the darkness out of Lily. I can help you find him, but I doubt he'll want to help you if he knows I'm involved."

"What did you do to him?" Regina asks half curious, half amused.

"I imprisoned him for about a hundred years." Maleficent utters with a bored wave of her hand.

"Oh, is that all?" Regina laughs. "We'll leave tomorrow. Meet me at Gold's at 2 PM."

The next stop would be the hardest. Before Regina left she had to make sure Zelena was safe. Safe from getting herself hurt, and safe from hurting others.


	5. Chapter 5

The hall to Zelena's room is dreadfully silent, lest for the clacking of Regina's heels, which echo and reverberate against the smooth congregate walls and laminated floors, The air smells like a combination of Lysol and bleach, adding to what was a dreary, sterile, unstimulating environment. There is nothing bright, nothing vibrant, nothing really alive in these rooms.

Regina is suddenly struck with the fact that this is a dreadful place to live, if you could call existing between these walls  _ living _ . How ridiculous that the mentally unwell are driven to facilities like this, when such an environment would make anyone crazy. There's a twinge of guilt as she approaches Zelena's room. But then she reminds herself that she put Belle there for thirty years, for seemingly no reason, and she should probably focus that guilt in that direction. She has to make more of an effort to make it up to Belle. She dealt her an unnecessarily shitty hand and her only real crime was loving a monster. No different than her sweet Robin, when it all comes down to it, she thinks with a bitter smile.

She opens the door to Zelena's room, and for a second she sees a defeated woman instead of a wicked woman. Zelena's in bed, leaning against a wall, her legs drawn up against her chest. She looks almost childlike.

But the second Zelena sees Regina enter the room, her mask goes on. She throws on a wicked smile, adjusts her body so her arms are behind her back, legs spread out on the bed, chin up, facing her as if she were having a grand old time.

"And how are you today Zelena?"

"Smashing! Just thinking about a wild night I had with your beloved." Zelena calls back. She looks braced for a fight, eyes dazzling at the prospect. But Regina won't fall prey to these traps. She just responds with a smile.

It throws Zelena off for a second, until she realizes she can dig the knife a little bit more.

"We should really compare notes, dear sister. Did he do that thing with you, with the twist of his tongue, you know what I'm talking about? It was kind of a swirl. Wasn't that the best? Or was it his hands you liked better? Did you like it when he would stroke up and down your sides with his fingers? For me it was a bit too gentle, I prefer it a little wild."

Regina's stomach burns, fingers itch to destroy her with a gentle flick of her wrists. But she resists the homicidal urges and focuses her energy on maintaining a calm demeanor. She can't let Zelena know this bothers her, or else it will only get worse. And then, who knows what will happen?

She should not have made this visit without Robin, but then again, that was the point. To see if she could control her emotions and prevent herself from going dark in the worst situation, without Robin. And so far, the anger was kept at bay, buried and controlled.

"He's quite enthusiastic in bed, dominating too. I got it, I totally got your interest. Not so great for company, but for sex…well, my sister, I think we have the same taste."

Regina sits down next to her on the bed, expression blank and almost bored, though her heart was in searing pain, and mind replayed words  _ enthusiastic _ and  _ dominating. _ It's certainly not appealing to imagine their relations as anything more than Robin performing out of a sense of obligation. She shifts the conversation in attempt to expel images in her head she knows she cannot . "So, do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?"

She knows there's been no medical opinion on the subject, but pregnant women do sometimes get a sense of gender, and Zelena may have a greater sense than others.

Zelena shakes her head. "I have no idea. I believe Robin had told me that he wants a girl."

It still hurts to hear her talking about his wishes for their child. And this was testing her more than anything, but that was the point. To test herself to the absolute limits.

"And you?" Regina asks. The women in their family are powerful, bold, passionate and dangerous. The men are the weaker sex, but also kinder and less temperamental. It would be far easier to have a son than a daughter.

"I just want a healthy baby." Zelena looks at her skeptically, eyes narrowed into slits. "You're being too nice, it's scaring me. Call me names now."

There's a sense of pride that her new demeanor has thrown Zelena off, and maybe being nice has it's advantage. So Regina shakes her head, keeps her voice sweet, and says "I was thinking, the other day…we may share more than a mother and Rumple as a teacher."

It's working. She's getting to Zelena. Her hands ball into fists and she clenches her teeth and mutters a curse under her breath. "How so? The fact of the matter is, you got  _ everything _ and I got  _ nothing _ ."

"I said that often, about Snow White." Regina reminds her, the slightest bit of condescension lacing her tone. "I said it because I was lonely, and bitter, and lost my chance at love, while she was carefree, loved, and had it so easy. It hurt so badly to see her so happy when my own life…."

"Was still a zillion times better than mine." Zelena bites back.

"You want to be loved as much as I do." Regina summarizes. "And I know this because you're my sister. It is jealousy and loneliness that pushed you here and if we keep isolating you, how can we expect you to heal?"

"So, I can leave then?" Zelena asks, heading towards the door, "wonderful chat, sis. Thank you."

"You're staying put for a while. Until we can trust you to not hurt us. And that will be difficult. But I want to say I understand you. And as a showing of trust? You could tell me the contents of all that magic I found in Robin's apartment in New York. Is any of it dangerous?"

"Come on, sis. Don't you like surprises? I don't want to spoil all the fun."

"Zelena, I'm giving you a chance here. Take it. Tell me what all that stuff was."

But Zelena shakes her head playfully wagging a finger in a silent  _ No. _ " _ Tsk, Tsk.  _ You should see for yourself. It won't kill you. That I will promise."

"That's a start, I guess." Regina groans. She is still mad, still so angry at this woman, but the overwhelming desire to conjure a fireball wasn't as strong as it usually was.

"I wanted to say, regardless of what has happened, and regardless of the fact you still refuse to help any of us at all, I hope it's not always like this for you. I hope you find someone you love, someone who makes you happy." And maybe one day, Regina will believe those words. But for now, it's the right thing to say.

Zelena's mouth opens, eyes wild, and Regina knows she has something on the tip of her tongue, probably a joke about the many times Robin had  _ loved  _ her, but something changes in her eyes, and she drops it.

"You're going away somewhere." Zelena looks at her with inquisitive, playful eyes. "You think you might not survive. Where are you going?"

"It's not important. I  _ will _ be back, of course I'll survive. But if for some reason I'm...tied up for awhile, you have a choice to make. You can continue to battle the town and isolate yourself further, or you can make amends and try to gain the trust of everyone. It takes a while, and you have to get over a fear of rejection. But it's possible."

For a moment, Zelena seems to appreciate the statement. She reaches out to hold Regina's hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. But then her expression shifts, as if she's scared of the slight change she almost made. "While you're out do you mind if I borrow Robin?" She points to her stomach. "Hormones and all, could really use a romp in the hay… or a romp in the cot in this room. I do miss how he would throw me down on the bed when we were…"

Regina sighs. The words hurt, they do, but now it just sounds so desperate, she almost pities her poor sister. "You're trying to get me to kill you and I have no idea why. Soon you're going to have a child. And you are going to love that child more than anything. And you are going to want to do right by that child. I just hope it's not too late."

Regina turns to walk away.

"You're right about one thing, Regina. I love my child more than anything. I love that child already more than I've ever loved anyone."

"It's scary, isn't it?" Regina leaves Zelena's room confidently, closed the door, and finally let herself breathe. She tries to stop the tears from flowing as she clutched her chest.

As soon as she was outside Zelena's door, she sent a text to Snow, David, Robin, Belle, Will, John, Emma and Henry, requesting a meeting to discuss the plans for her visit to Camelot.

Tonight, at her house, for a later dinner. These would be the people watching over the town while she was gone, of course, Emma would be watching over the town for a limited time, until she turned against the town and ruined everyone, but that was besides the point.

Before leaving, Regina picks up the bag of belongings marked for Zelena behind the desk of the asylum. The magical items would have to be neutralized, even if their magic would not kill her (and she believed Zelena, believed she was telling the truth when she said that).

.::.

Neutralizing the magic did not take long. Investigating what was in the items was pretty straight forward. No tricks, no traps. Though there was no physical harm in any of those items – Zelena had lived up to her word in that regard.

But there was something far more damaging than dark magic.

God, she would welcome the physical pain that a hidden, exploding potion might bring. At least boiling acid, or a toxic gas did not bring mental anguish like the cruelty Zelena had in store for her. And Regina can handle that sort of pain, she'd withstood unbelievable torture and barely shed a tear.

But here she is, in her vault, crying. Like a child. Like a pathetic, little girl.

She gives herself a moment, lets her mourn what she's lost.

And then she shakes her head, stretches her limbs, and focuses.

No time to dwell on what cannot be fixed. No time to dwell on how Zelena had once again succeeded at making her miserable.

It's time to make dinner for far too many house guests. Time to say goodbye to her beautiful son before she goes off to Camelot for who knows how long.

She pushes her feelings aside, as much as she can, and leaves her vault.

.::.

Regina's gourmet cooking skills (albeit with magic to speed up and perfect the process) are underrated and underutilized, and this may be the last time she had an occasion to show off. And that is why every guest gets their own individually prepared pheasant, along with a side of roasted red potatoes, braised brussel sprouts, kale salad, with apple torts for dessert. Well,  _ almost  _ every guest. She makes chicken fingers for Roland – ordinarily she believes a child should be exposed to the food adults eat, but she's leaving this little boy tomorrow, and she needs to see him as happy as possible before then.

The moment Robin and Roland arrive to dinner she fawns over the boy, putting on a movie for him and keeping her attention directed towards him. Robin seems to notice the shift in her mood, placing a light hand on her elbow, smoothing her arms, asking if she is okay. But she waves off his attempts, rushing into the kitchen to finish one thing or another.

"Regina," Robin calls out, "where were you today? Did something happen, you seem—"

"Christ it smells good in here," Emma calls from the foyer, "sorry, I let myself in, door was open. Hey Robin!"

Regina can't remember a time she's been more thankful to see Emma. Only partially because it stopped Robin from starting a very difficult discussion. But also because…she's in a good mood, Emma is. Hook and Henry had obviously done work on her to distract her, or at least keep her from downspiraling.

The rest of their family trickle in, Snow and Charming, Neal in tow. Belle, Will and Little John arrive last, a few minutes before dinner. John and Will and Killian start up a lively banter, and suddenly the house is a sea of distractions. And thank god for that. Her last night before Camelot will be a good one, damnit. No need to drudge up things that do not even matter in the long run.

When they sit down to the elegant meal, the good china and silver out on the elongated dining room table, it hits her how perfect, elaborate, and beautiful she's made everything. This meal. This memory. Family together.

"You could have just ordered pizza." Emma teases.

"That seemed entirely inappropriate for the occasion."

"So, what's the plan?"

Regina looks to Roland, who is eating in the living room in front of the television. She wants him safe, and out of earshot, for this.

"Isaac gave me a lead. Maleficent. She's met Merlin, she knows Camelot. She can help, but she wants to come with me. It's my best chance, I have to take her up on it."

"Yeah and then once you're there on her turf she's going to destroy you." Emma rolls her eyes. "Come on Regina you're smarter than this. This is out of the question."

"I think I'll be safe. I know Maleficent well. And besides, she doesn't want you as the Dark One anymore than I do. And Lily wants to find her father. Merlin may know. At least, apparently the conception happened in Camelot. Maleficent won't abandon me to find Merlin, as they aren't exactly on good terms. I'm…a necessary bumper."

Anticipating Emma's question she went on. "And I know all of this is true because much like you always know when I am lying, I always know when Maleficent is lying."

"Who else is going with you?"

Regina takes in a deep breath, blows it out slowly, and keeps her voice steady. "I can handle this myself, thank you. I've handled Maleficent for years."

"It's two against one. Two  _ dragons _ against one." Emma argues, elbows on the table, leaning over to stare her down. "Come on, Regina. You're smarter than this."

"It could be worse than them just turning on you," Snow reminds quietly, her eyes glued to the plate of food in front of her. "They could turn you back to what you were."

The words stick in the air, hang heavy and thick.

They shouldn't bother her.

Afterall, she already knew Snow thought so little of her. She saw the look on Snow's face when she took Emma's dagger. This is to be expected.

But still, this is one of the only women who knew Regina before her descent into darkness, who knew what she was before dark magic lessons ate at her soul. And Snow doesn't even have faith in Regina's goodness. And it's so frustrating because god, if she were her  _ old  _ self the things she found in Zelena's personal items would have her destroying the entire town right now.

"Good to know I still have the vote of confidence of Snow White. Thank you." Regina's voice is bitter and biting.

"Snow's right." Robin adds., and the words sting. She shakes her head at him, shocked and angry. But then he adds, "not because you're not strong enough, I believe you are stronger than both of them combined. But when you're around us it's easier for you to avoid darkness. I know you can avoid falling into evil, but it is going to distract you, it will complicate things. It will be easier with us around you."

"Don't try and tell me what is  _ easier. _ You've no idea at all." She spits the words out, can feel herself losing a battle to remain calm.

But Robin must sense something, because instead of asking her what is wrong, which would only make matters worse, he continues his line of thought. "Regina, there are people in my life I wouldn't trust myself around. This isn't a problem unique to you. I just don't want your evil to take over again. It only hurts you more in the end."

"I can control it now." She assures. "After last night…I can control things so much better. You have no idea what I've gone through today and still been able to control myself, I have no issues…"

"What happened today?" Robin asks, "where were you off to all day?"

_ That  _ is a conversation for later. Preferable, not at all, but certainly not now, not in front of everyone. She can barely confess what happened to Robin, let alone Will Scarlett.

So instead she just shrugs and says "it's not important. What's important is I have changed a good lot in the last few years and it's high time everyone remember that."

"We do!" Snow adds enthusiastically. "You mean a lot to us, we want to be there for you."

"I've fought dragons before," David reminds Regina, "Snow and I are going."

"And Neal, I assume?" Regina asks sharply. "You going to bundle him up along for the ride?"

Belle speaks up "I have watched him before and I'd be happy to watch him again. We're already going to be watching Roland…" she nods her head to Will and John, "so…"

"Why would anyone need to watch Roland when Robin will be here in Storybrooke?" Regina asks, staring daggers into Robin's eyes. "Don't tell me you made arrangements to come with me after I insisted I was going alone, Robin, I swear…" She could just about kill this stupid, caring, sweet, dutiful man.

"And I swear I'm not leaving you!" He's angry, his voice is raised nearly to the level of what might called screaming. She can see the determination in Robin's face, and he's stubborn, so stubborn, god, just as stubborn as she is. How could two people this stubborn be fated soulmates? She lets out a breath. God she's exhausted. It must show on her face, because his anger seems to dissipate, concern coloring those beautiful blue eyes where frustration had once been. And then he adds, "besides if you leave without me I'll be a useless parent until I know you're safe. I'll need their help either way."

She will never be convinced that she needs their help, or that their lives are worth sacrificing (only hers is, hers is a wasted, evil life, and throwing it away if it means saving Emma is the right thing). Yet, she eventually realizes she has no control over these people who insist on being self-destructive. So she allows a new plan to form. Will and Belle will temporarily share the responsibilities of sheriff. Will, John and the rest of Robin's camp would assist where needed, and will protect Neal, Henry and Roland in the event of an emergency. Neal, as the product of true love, will always be at risk, so the stakes are high when it comes to protecting him, especially with Zelena and Isaac still in town.

"We need to talk about what happens if I lose control." Emma speaks up. Her voice is almost robotic, devoid of any passion. "Because I'm fighting it every day, and I feel myself slipping away. If I terrorize the whole town…."

Regina knows these fears. They hit close to home, terrify her, still keep herself up at night. And no, this was not for Emma. She would not let Emma feel this for too long.

"Belle?" Regina inquires. "No one knows the Dark One more than you do. Did Rumple ever share with you what happened after he became dark? What happened?"

There had to be a way to stop this.

"Rumple had his ups and downs," Belle starts, carefully looking at Emma, "I…I felt it helped when I was around. It never really stopped, but so many times he convinced me he had managed it."

"He was the worst when he felt betrayed," Hook adds. "Emma doesn't have to worry about that."

Belle looks uncomfortable. She doesn't seem as convinced as everyone else that Emma can get through this. And perhaps it is because if Emma handles the darkness just fine, what does that say about Rumple? "From what he told me it was harder to control at first. Then he got the hang of it, tried to manage, but he kept slipping until it was too late."

"So what I've been witnessing for all these years is a version of the Dark One that had more control over himself? Great." Emma flings back in her chair and groans. Regina cannot help but smile. It's a frustrating situation, but whenever Emma acts as a petulant child, it's rather cute.

"Maybe it would help to let you know what to expect?" Belle asks, "What I've heard from what Rumple has said, maybe?"

It may help, and together they try to piece together moments in Rumple's life, things he had shared with Belle, things Snow observed…anything that could possibly be some insight into the inner workings of the Dark One.

It won't help. But it keeps them busy. And that can't be bad, can it?

Regina goes to the kitchen to plate dessert – strawberry shortcake with generous whipped cream. And then she fixes the party favors. It's a potion, blood orange with swirling whisps of white. She pours the potion into six separate vials (she had only intended to need three, but it split easily into six). And then she shreds a bit of fabric into six pieces, wrapping one piece each around the vial delicately.

"Dessert," Regina says, handing each guest a generous portion of shortcake.

"Why is there a….umm, potion on my dessert?" David asks, eyeing the vial suspiciously.

Regina could have explained, but hell, she likes a bit of theatre. If only she had thought to make an apple pie.

"Those of you who insist on going to Camelot should find a little gift from me on your place. This is your ticket home. If we're separated, the potion goes onto that piece of Emma's sweater. Grab the piece tightly – and anyone and anything you want to bring with you – and it will return you to Storybrooke. We all have things to get back to, if something goes wrong, we are all still needed back here. This isn't "no man left behind". Not when there's so much we need to protect at home. Understood?"

She's surprised to find that no one argues with her at all. Perhaps for the first time.

After dinner the company filters out. Henry, Hook and Emma are the last to leave before Robin. Regina spends the last half of the evening with Henry, talking to him, laughing with him, soaking in all she could before she had to leave him. He gives her the attention she cravex, the assurances that he would be alright. He outright thanked her for treating him as an important member of the team instead of as a little kid. When time came to say goodbye, they both were teary eyed, despite promises to be back soon and their secret of the transmitter, so she would never have to go a day without hearing and seeing her son.

On the way out, Emma grabs Regina and hugs her. "It gets worse after I sleep," Emma admits to Regina, "I'm scared."

Regina pauses, a flicker of concern passed over her face, but she quickly shifted into a neutral position. "It's natural. Those few hours when you sleep you're left with no one but the Dark One in your head, trying to control you. But then you wake up, and there's Henry to control you." Regina does her best to wink. "And…I guess…your jolly pirate helps too."

Emma laughs. "He does. Thank you, Regina"

"Don't thank me until I've done something." Regina reminds her. "Don't thank me at all, in fact. I should still be thanking you."

And all too soon, Emma, Henry and Hook leave over Regina's insistence she is more than capable of cleaning up the feast herself.

"This is all wrong" Regina mutters while clearing the table. Robin looks up at her, eyes expressive, imploring her to continue. "We should have left tonight. I forgot about sleep. Sleep makes everything worse when your heart is full of darkness. I can't subject Emma to another night of this…."

quickly "You can't rush into this. Emma will be fine for another few days. Better to gather a plan now then jump in without a finished plan earlier. This will all work out."

Robin pulls his forehead into hers. It still does things to her, his touch. She feels connected to him, a part of him. And that both wounds and heals her. "You alright?"

Its only then she realizes how tense she is in his arms. She swallows hard, extracting herself from his touch. "I'm fine."

"Is this what had you upset all night? You've seemed...distant."

At that moment, Roland lets out a loud snore from his spot on the couch, drawing a laugh from both Regina and Robin and thankfully giving her a few precious moments to avoid his question, before she probably has to break his heart. Robin still seems unaware of this fact, and leaves her to scoop up his sleeping son.

"Do you mind if we stay here tonight?" he asks in whisper, hopefully. "I mean, Roland is asleep and I wouldn't want to wake him."

Regina tries to give a light hearted laugh but it came off as nervous. "Oh you'd like to stay over for Roland's sake, huh?"

"Yes, and tomorrow I should congratulate him for being a very good wingman."

This is going to be awful. She curses herself for not being stronger. He doesn't deserve someone like her, someone who cannot handle the realities of their situation. Someone weak enough to lose to a sister who is behind bars and without power. And yet, losing she is. And it's not his fault.

Regina forces a smile, choking down all the negative images that swirl in her mind.

"I already made up a bed for him."

She has a guest room, but for some reason, she rather liked Roland sleeping in Henry's bed. Roland is not her son, not truly, but he was so much a part of her ability to handle a life without Henry during that missing year. And for that, she's grateful, and she cannot help but hope that a bond is established between the two boys. So she tucks him in with Robin, watches as the doting father gives his son a kiss on the forehead. She smoothes a hand over his curls, and takes a moment to memorize him like this – peaceful, almost angelic.

"He reminds me so much of my son at that age" she breathes, nostalgia waving over her.

.::.

Something's going on with her.

It's driving him crazy with worry, but he knows Regina, and he knows that he cannot force it out. He can only stay open, and nonjudgmental, and wait for her to trust in him enough to share.

This little moment with Roland may help. She's just spent all night emphasizing her strong side – her resilience, her power, her leadership skills – all incredibly impressive and frighteningly sexy, if he's being honest.

But now it's moments like these – moments she has in quieter, one on one settings, that really showcase who Regina is. When she's looking at his son like he's the most perfect thing in the world. When she's reminiscing about Henry. She's so beautiful, loving, and so vulnerable in these tender moments.

"He loves you, you know. Talks about you all the time at camp. Everyone his age is jealous of him, you know. because he's the queen's favorite."

She looks truly touched at that, goes to open her mouth, and then shuts it again. A little shocked smile is on her face instead, as if she can't believe it. Her eyes are shining a bit too much, and he wonders if they watered over the simple truth.

She looks so perfect at that moment, leaning against the doorframe, with her modest, awestruck smile looking almost embarrassed, running her hands through her hair.

He cannot help but cup her chin and lift her head so he can kiss her. He craves her like air, and yes, she's beautiful, she's so beautiful, but it's not just that. He wants to feel close to her. To chase away….whatever it is that has been separating them this evening. It's the business of fairy tales, believing a kiss can cure, but when her lips are within reach, he'd believe in any tall tale that recommends tasting her, drinking her in, holding her close.

.::.

He's looking at her with such love, such adoration, and yes, a bit of lust.

And tomorrow they go to Camelot, and hell, can't they just be normal for a night?

She tries to push back what she just learned hours earlier down into some dark place in her mind where she can shut it and never open again.

Don't think.

Just feel.

Don't think about Zelena and Robin and what she saw in that magic today….

Robin's hands are on her back, rubbing her shoulders, kissing her neck. "I have wanted you all night" he whispers into her ear between soft nibbles. "How do you manage to be so sexy while talking about battle and danger and…" he rubs his hand down the front of her body slowly, and Regina sighs (god, his hands are wonderful) "potential death?"

He's kissing her neck now, each kiss open lipped with his tongue swirling just slightly.

_ Did he do that thing with you, with the twist of his tongue, you know what I'm talking about? It was kind of a swirl. Wasn't that the best?" _

Zelena's taunt echoes painfully in her head, and it's a cold bucket of water on what should have been heating up.

And oh, if all she had learned about their love life was what Zelena told her in that room, she could get through it, no problem.

Regina tries to sink into this moment, to push everything aside. Robin seems lost in the middle of this, he is groaning words about how beautiful and perfect she is and how good she feels. She knows this isn't about pure release for him – he knows she's been distant, and he wants her, he craves sex with her to feel close, just as she does with him – but there's also a pure carnal side too that's making itself known.

His hands are tracing up her sides. He likes to do that, he likes to feel the curves between her ribcage to her hipbone, but apparently Zelena was all too familiar with that. And then her mind draws up images of  _ other  _ things she thought Robin only liked to do only to her. And she hates to, but she has to –

"Stop." She lets out a frustrated sigh. "We have to stop."

Robin looks at her, trying to see if she's joking. "No, we don't," he pleads, looking at her lovingly, his hand on her cheek, "whatever it is believe me we do not have to stop." Still, he stops as she wishes.

Regina shakes her head and walks downstairs. Robin follows silently, giving her just enough space to be comfortable. When she takes a seat on the couch she finally has it in her to meet his eyes.

She expected him to be curious, maybe a bit angry and frustrated, but not this. NO, he looks miserable, tense, and oh, so concerned. God, he deserves to know things, he has to. If she can't ignore this issue she owes it to him to tell him the truth. "I don't want to keep things from you anymore."

"Then don't." It's more a plea than an order, and he takes her hand in his, squeezes it lovingly.

"It feels wrong to tell you, and feels wrong to keep from you." Regina's voice is soft, contemplative, but calm, so calm.

"I want to know. Tell me." The nerves in his voice are the perfect ying to a calm yang.

Regina breathes in a shaky breath. "I went to see Zelena…"

Robin's face screws into an annoyed frown, and suddenly he seems less concerned, more upset. "Without me? Regina, I don't want you subjecting yourself to that misery without me by your side."

"I had to see if I was strong enough to face these things without you." And she could face those things, she  _ could.  _  And he will never know how much it means to her that she has been able to avoid going dark after all this time. "You gave me something last night, something I haven't had before, ever. I think that's what the silly pixie dust said. I'm in control of my anger…."

She pauses, sighs, runs her hands down her legs, and then runs one through her hair. She's nervous, having a hard time expressing all this. "I can truly feel love, I can forgive…I'm forever grateful. You changed me." She reaches out and grabs his hand, squeezes it hard. Her eyes are full of tears both grateful and sad, and god, she is a mess. Love may not be weakness, but it sure as hell isn't strength.

Not at times like these.

.::.

Robin is a listener. Even as a leader, he's been more of a listener than a talker. And it works for him in his dealings with Regina – has since he met her. He prompts, and then listens. He lets silence between them grow until she's ready to share.

But this time, the silence grows, and she says nothing. So he asks her again, to please tell him why she's so upset. Instead she just walks upstairs, into her bedroom. Again, he follows, leaving room behind.

"Everything with Zelena went fine." She assures, and bullocks it did. He's never seen her so indecisive, so grief-stricken. Perhaps the day Marian came back, but…whatever her damn sister did he will make her pay, that green slimy bitch.

"Do you remember those objects of Zelena that we found, when we swept the apartment in New York? I had to neutralize them tonight. There was….this."

Regina walked over to a drawer on the side table and takes out something that looks like a perfume bottle. Inside is clear fluid, with two wispy, ghostly lines swirling inside.

"What is it?" Robin sits on the bed, reaching for the vial. He looks it over, rolling it in each palm nervously. "Did it hurt you?"

Regina smiles bitterly as she sits back down on the bed with him. She wishes it had been poison, or some painful threat to her life instead. She can recover from those. They are temporary. This, however, is harder. This will leave scars in places already so damaged that they cannot heal.

"They are memories. Private moments Zelena saved of you and her. I didn't know until I looked… and I had to make sure it was nothing dangerous."

His blood runs cold, because he knows – he  _ knows  _ what the memories are. And it was just like the witch to bottle them up in hopes Regina would look at them. "No," he says, begging the gods, heaven or hell, or anyone above to just make this untrue. "No!"

Regina can only nod her head. "You don't have to look at them."

"Like hell I don't."

He won't have her suffer them alone, he will watch these with her, right now, so he can explain everything.

Sure, he is terrified to see this – to relive those painful moments that make his skin crawl, but he will sit and see what devastating memory was bottled up so he could explain it, help Regina understand.

Eventually, his protests win out, and Regina opens up the vial to extract the first memory. It sails in the air, spinning and swirling like puffs of smoke, until she flicks her wrist and it transforms into a projected image against the crisp walls behind them.

It was like watching a movie of his life. The perspective of this particular memory is an odd one, but he can clearly see himself in Bae's apartment, in front of Marian.

_ "If you want to go back to Regina, then go back to Regina, but you have to decide what you want."  _ Zelena had played Marian well here. The facial expressions, the eyes. She had not always mimicked Marian well, but here, here she  _ was  _ Marian. Did she study her, before she killed her, he wonders?

_ "I want to be with you. I love you. You once gave up everything to be with me to be a bandit in the woods and you said something to me once that I should have taken to heart. Do you remember?" _

_ "Of course. But I want to hear you say it." _

_ "No matter where we are or what we face, I want to be with you." _

_ "And I meant every word." _

_ "And now, so do I." _

… _. _

_ "You were once my happy ending and I was yours. And we can have that again. I thought you were dead and now that we're back together you're back… it's a miracle. And only a fool would turn back on a miracle." _

It's a horrifying scene, but dear god, at least it cuts away before things get too….physically intimate. Before they ran off to Bae's walk-in closet for a quicky while Roland watched TV. It wasn't romantic, and it wasn't particularly good. But to see it would be embarrassing. Regina was sitting on the couch, breathing in and out with her eyes shut. When the scene finishes she clears her throat.

"The, uh, the other….is different. In some ways not as bad."

Robin can only see red, can only hear the drumming in his ears, can only feel the boiling red blood inside him begging to fight this woman, to kill her, to make her suffer. "This was all a setup. Everything. And parts are missing that should not be. You have to know the background on this. I will explain everything."

Regina shakes her head. "Don't."

Robin throws his face in his hands and let out a sigh. When he looked back up at her, there were tears in his eyes. "The other one?"

Regina draws in a deep breath. "I didn't mean to put you through this."

Robin ignores her, his jaw went tense and tight and he looked angry. "The. Other. One. Now."

"I don't think you need to see it."

"You had to watch them, and I will suffer every bit as much as you. Show me." He stares her down, and no, he won't yell at her, won't berate her and wax on about how he has every right to see what parts of  _ his  _ life have been bottled up and recorded for others to look upon. That would only make things worse, would only turn into a screaming match where they are likely to say things that they both regret. But he will make sure she knows he won't back down from this. So he takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. When he's calm enough, he speaks again. "It's my life, Regina. I deserve to see it if I want. And I want to."

Something clicks in her then, and she seems to understand. She looks at him apologetically. "Alright. Just know that I couldn't watch the whole thing. It's just…well, here."

The second memory floats up and projected in front of them.

Robin recognizes the scene in an instant. He expected it, of course. There was only one night that would have Regina this rattled, and only one night she'd be this concerned about him seeing.

_ Robin opens the door to Bae's apartment to fine Marian there, alone. He looks determined, almost angry, breathing in shallow breathes. He had nearly ran up the final flight of stairs to get here. _

_ "Roland's gone to a movie with the neighborhood kid and his mom." Marian says offhandedly. _

_ He is on her in an instant, practically devouring her with his lips and hands…but not his eyes. No, his eyes stay closed the whole time, as if he was too overwhelmed by her to even look her in the eyes. _

_ "God I missed you like this." Robin moans. He takes her in his arms, kissing her, passionately. Everything in his movement seemed to suggest deep, wanton desire. His hands were in her hair. His other hand stroked from her ribs to her hip bone, so tenderly. He pushed her against a wall, tearing at her shirt and lifting her leg up to wrap around him _ .

_ "You're so beautiful" he whispers, eyes still shut tight, "I've wanted you so badly for so long. I can't believe I have you again." _

_ The sounds that come out of Marian are throaty and indulgent as she rocks against him. Her moans, her soft cries sound so needy and wanton. _

Fake, Robin realized now, looking back at it. He watches as his past-self plants little kisses from  _ ear, down her jawline, down between her breasts, and then licks and swirls a tongue around each nipple. He thinks Regina must remember that move, because god knows he couldn't forget it, not even for a second while thye were apart. He had done exactly that to Regina, and it had her moaning and crying and begging for him to touch her more, give her more. And she had groaned and scratched fingers through his hair crying out how much she loved his tongue. _

_ And there Robin is, in front of them, reenacting that intimate move to Marian/Zelena. Zelena doesn't respond in quite the way Regina did, but he was too far gone to notice. _

_ "Oh my love" he says over and over again. And then, he was removing her bra, touching her there, kissing her there. "God…you're stunning." _

Regina isn't watching, she's not letting herself relive this. Her eyes are focused on her lap, instead. But she visibly twitches, and winces, at those words, and the small movement kills him. Breaks him in two. Those words he had used for Regina. Often. And she's not sentimental, has never been one to turn to a puddle of goo from some well-placed words, but that word, it seemed, mattered enough to hurt her.

_ Robin picks Marian up, laid her on the bed and moans "you're so perfect for me", eyes still screwed shut. _

He hears Regina takes shallow breaths next to him, and hell, he hadn't considered how hard it would be for her to watch this twice, he should stop it, tell her to leave, he should…

He turns to her, and she's not looking at the screen, she's focused her eyes out the window instead. But she can still hear, and the words coming out of his damn mouth are purely idiotic, moaning about how beautiful and sexy Marian is, calling her his love, telling her how good she felt around him.

She handles it well, up until the point where Robin grunts " _ Oh god you feel so good _ ,  _ no one feels this good _ ". And that is when she speaks, getting up quickly from her spot on the bed.

"I can't listen to anymore." Regina sighs, shutting the memory back into the vial. Her voice was still so even, so steady, so calm. Robin, on the other hand, was a mess. He put his head in his palms, trying to think of what to say to possibly better the situation. Regina stares at him, as if trying to work something out.

Regina speaks first. "It happened." It was a statement, not a question, but only then does Robin realize she had held out hope that this was not a real memory, that it was somehow manipulated, somehow never happened. It would be easy to lie, but he didn't want to lie to her.

"It did, but the circumstances involved were—"

Regina waves him off, grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "It's not your fault. I know…I know what we watched was…hard for you. I can't imagine how you feel, thinking that was your wife and now knowing…are you okay?"

She continues to shock and amaze him, this beautiful woman. The former Evil Queen, who would burn villages to the ground for small slights against her, is currently worried about Robin's feelings. And what of hers, after what she just had to witness twice? How do you respond to that?

"I'll be fine as long as we are ok." His eyes search for hers, but she looks down at that moment and he knows this is serious, and something is very wrong.

"It's not that I don't believe or trust you anymore, but seeing this…I mean if you saw me like this with someone else…"

Robin interrupts, grabs her chin and lifts it, turning her face to look in her eyes. God, she was close to tears. "It would kill me. It would literally crush me. I can't even think about it. And I can't believe…you went through this and kept it from me the whole evening."

Regina shrugs. "I knew you had to say this stuff…and do those things… eventually to her. I had  _ hoped _ you didn't tell her all that until you had a child, so that was painful...but I told you to go and start a life without me and who I am to get angry when you take the queen's orders." It is meant to be a joke, but goes over like a lead balloon. Regina looks down again, pretended to be very, very interested the pattern of the comforter, fingers tracing the patterns, silently.

God this is humiliating and devastating all at once. Because everything is so, so wrong. And he has to explain, has to clear things up. "There's a lot you don't know. I didn't want to go into details last night. But the second memory, real quick…"

Regina shakes her head quickly, allowing herself to be weak and honest for a moment. "You certainly looked at home with her. And in love."

Robin groans. "I feel nothing but contempt for Zelena."

"Zelena." She chuckles darkly. "Robin, I am not threatened by Zelena. Even if she is pregnant with your child."

Robin tilts his head, confused.

Regina gives him that look, that open, heartbreaking look that makes him want to hold her in his arms and tell her he loves her. But he can't hold her now, because she doesn't want his touch. He forces himself to give her space, to let her speak to him.

"I've already been with a man who couldn't let the memories of his wife go. Who still loved his wife, even though she died so many years ago. Someone who…tried to make experiences with me as close to his memories of being intimate with his wife." She pauses and struggles to get out the last words "who would call me his wife's pet names in bed, or occasionally, even call out her name when…we were together."

Robin shakes his head vigorously, but it's a pointless act because she isn't looking at him. Her arms are folded into herself, and she's staring out at the window, again. As if she can't bare to look at him. But that's because she didn't understand, she didn't get it.

"Look, I have to tell you something, and I don't know if it will hurt or help, but I don't want to keep secrets either. It's about me and Zelena, why things looked the way they looked..."

She interrupts him softly, and he stops immediately to let her speak her mind. She gets to talk whenever she wants, whatever she wants, right now, she gets it. "I don't blame you, none of this is easy. I think I thought…I don't know what I thought. I just didn't think…" God, she looks so hard. "I didn't think the things you did and said with me would be identical to what you did to Marian. But it makes sense…"

"You're getting this all wrong. I can explain this all. You have to look at me, you have to listen to me."

Regina shakes her head and stands. "We don't need to talk about it."

Robin disagrees. "You can't let this weigh on you, we already unloaded your emotions yesterday. We will do it again, you will get rid of this feeling."

Regina shakes her head. "That's just the thing. If this had happened yesterday I would have…never been able to handle it without…doing something evil. But now," she grabs his hand, held it to her chest, looking almost proud over all that pain. "My heart's still inside me, still beating. I am not trying to murder Zelena right now. That's something I didn't have before last night. I…you don't know what this means to me."

She's giving up on him. He can feel her slipping through his fingers like sand through a sieve.

He won't let her go that easy.

"Robin. It's not worth the risk."

Robin furrows his brow. This, he did not expect. "Risk?"

"If I open up this wound, it could make it worse, undo all the good that was done last night," she says carefully, "and right now, Robin, you are right. Right now you help me control my magic, my dark tendencies. I've always faltered before. And the worst things that have happened to this town happened when I began to enact an evil plan and someone stepped in and finished it for me."

She smiles bitterly, and recounts incidents in her past where she's faltered. In most recent history it was with author, who was able to escape because  _ she  _ had given him magic ink in her plan to write Zelena out of the book. Years ago she had planned to destroy all of Storybrooke with the failsafe diamond, only to have it stolen by Greg and Tamara, the time she summoned Sydney with the purpose of killing Marian, only to have him join forces with the Snow Queen. Hell, even her plan to kill Emma resulted in Henry almost dying. It had all backfired.

Camelot was the land of dragons. And she was not a dragon. Physically, she will be outmatched. She needs to prevent herself from opening a door that would allow others to harm her and her loved ones.

Robin listens to her logical explanation, and still can not accept it. "But still, I can't just live knowing you've watched what you had without any context. This is too much to weigh on you alone. I have to explain, and you will feel so much better after I do. When I was with her, when I was intimate with Zelena, she often wasn't—it wasn't…"

"Please stop" she begs, her voice quivering. "I don't want to keep thinking about you two, I keep seeing you over and over again in my head and it's making me sick."

She looks sick, too. She is bent over with her arms crossed, looking like she was seconds from vomiting.

Robin reaches out to her gently, rubbing his hands through her hair. "I'm sorry. It's just… I can't have you forget how special you are to me."

.::.

_ Special. _ The word mocks her. She scowls into her lap, still afraid to look at him. There are fiery words dying to come out of her mouth, accusatory and angry and threatening and completely uncalled for, but also, she hears these pitiful pleas in the back of her head, like she wants to beg him to do something he's already doing – to stay with her, to try to prove to her that she doesn't have to give him up. That they can fix this.

But it feels over. Whatever she had with Robin feels like it reached a natural conclusion. She doesn't know why. It certainly isn't that she fell out of love with him. She loves him. She knew he loves her, albeit not as much as his dead wife. It isn't that he hurt her. It just feels like it reached a natural conclusion, like they had their moment. She learned so much from being with him, and gained so much in courage, strength, ability to forgive, everything. But the idea of being romantic with him again just seemed so impossible. She can't think about being with anyone else, but she doesn't want to be with him either. Not knowing the things he said into her ear were things he used to say to Marian, and weren't special to her alone. She doesn't want to be that, the substitute wife, the body to attach to the ghost of a former lover. She _ will not _ to be that again, because she had been that with Leopold and it was torture even though she didn't love Leopold.

And sure, Robin had picked her once over fake Marian, but that was because it was literally a  _ fake _ Marian. If she had been really still alive he would have picked her. Hell, she probably wouldn't have ever seen him again after that very second he saw Marian in the diner.

It is over.

She works to carefully draw up a mask, to hide her pain. When she meets Robin's eyes she believes she looksconfident and poised. "I think maybe we'll be strongest as really good friends."

A sound comes out of Robin that is not a cry, nor is it a shout, it appears to be noise of utter disbelief.

"Friends?" he says incredulously. "Look at me, Regina," he finally begs for the eye contact he has been seeking and she has been avoiding all night, "I will never just be your friend."

She does look at him, then. He looks panicked, afraid. And hurt, very hurt. Because of her. And she doesn't like hurting him. She goes willingly into his arms when he urges her in, breathing in the smell of pine and sweat and tears. She wishes things were different, but frankly, he's asking a lot of her, isn't he? Why can't he just accept her friendship, why must he push her right now?

"Everything feels different now, Robin. This is hard for me. Under the circumstances, I think I'm being quite reasonable."

Robin's arms stiffen around her. He gingerly removes himself from her side.

"You are being entirely reasonable. And I am being selfish, and asking far too much of you, but I feel I can't breathe unless I ask. You will never just be a friend to me. You are everything. If that is all I am to you, I will act as what you want. I'll take whatever I can get of you, whatever you're willing to share, even if it's just friendship. But you should know, every day I will be hoping you change your mind."

He's crying now, because this is all wrong. It was supposed to be all fixed last night. And that witch, she ruined everything. Her plan had worked perfectly. He must know that there is nothing he can say to fix it, nothing he can say that she doesn't already know or won't make things worse.

"I'm really sorry, Robin. I wish I was…." What does she wish she were? Stronger? More understanding? "I wish this didn't affect me the way it did. I know it's what Zelena wanted."

"You don't have to bloody apologize for anything. Just let me talk to you about this."

"Please don't." She pleads, tears in her eyes, and god damn it, he should grant this to her. And sure enough, he falls silent in reply. For awhile they just stare at each other, until she grabs his hand, squeezing it gently. He responds by running circles over her hand with his thumb.

"We have to get past this. You have to forgive me." He finally chokes out.

At that she smiles faintly. "I'm not angry, I don't blame you. There's nothing to forgive. None of this is your fault."

Robin gave himself permission to sob. "I just don't understand why I can't fix this. Everything last night we went through, Regina, you know how I feel. I love you, I'm so in love with you, I don't know why I can't make you believe it." He's rambling now, but it doesn't matter because he's crying and fairly certain she can't make out a coherent train of thought in his mess of an argument anyway.

"It's not that I don't believe you," she reassures. "I'm sorry, I'm horrible at this."

She tries to smile at him, tries to make it seem like everything is ok, but the smile is weak and unsteady, and there's another thing she's failed at today, isn't it.

"I just want to be friends." She repeats.

It's a pathetic thing to say at a time like this, but she really  _ does _ want to be friends, and she'll _ need _ a friend in Camelot. But the words have him wincing again and she knows they are hurting him. She waits for him to tell her they can be friends, that he will do this for her. But he doesn't say anything, he just grabs her other hand, rubbing it the way he rubs her other, tears continuing to form in his eyes.

"I'm going to go to bed now." Regina whispers, finally resigning whatever hope she had of explaining all of this to him. Nothing made sense to her, how canshe make it make sense to him? She stands up, and for a second he pulls at her hands tighter and she thinks he's going to pull her into a hug. And she wouldn't fight it, a hug. It sounds nice now. But then he drops her hands like they are on fire and gets up in a short, jerky motion. When he looks at her, she sees anger in his eyes.

.::.

"I will leave you, my dear  _ friend _ ." Robin responds, heading towards the stairs.

He is suddenly so angry at her, so frustrated, he wanted to hold her down and make her listen to everything he had to say, he wanted to yell at her and tell her she was being ridiculous right now, but more than anything he just wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her and would always love her. He lingers at the front door for her to tell him to stop, to come to bed with her and lay next to her in bed all night. Instead she mentioned the guest room and the fact Roland would like to see his father there first thing in the morning. He grumbles out a response. Regina holds her breath until she heard the guest room close.

New York, months ago

_ "We're having a baby, Robin!" _

_ She's giddy with excitement, practically reverberating with the good news, wild, shining eyes dancing playfully in the sunlight. She grabs and holds on to him tightly. He tries to return the embrace. He really does. But his heart isn't in it. _

_ "A little baby brother or sister for Roland, Robin! We always wanted more children." _

_ Pregnancy was so hard on her last time, nearly killed and Roland. And yet, she is still excited over this new blessing. And he should be too, instead of feeling this trapped, dreadful feeling. He hugs her back, trying to return her enthusiasm. _

_ "What…do we do now?" He asks. An innocent question, but Marian did not see it that way. She pulls back and looks at him curiously. _

_ "What do you mean "What do we do now?"" _

_ "I'm unfamiliar with this world. I know we need some sort of doctor, do you need anything special?" _

_ "Aren't you excited?" Marian takes a small step back, her eyes brimming full of tears.. "You haven't even told me you're happy. You…you aren't even smiling!" _

_ Of course! Smiling. He should be smiling. He smiles then, and god, he knew it was a fake poor showing but on the spot what was he to do? _

_ "Robin…." Marian backs even further away from him, turning her back to him. "I thought you chose me." _

_ "I…did. Marian I'm just overwhelmed. And remember you were so sick the last time. I almost lost you. I am only worried about your health." It isn't entirely untrue, but it isn't at all the truth. _

_ Still, it seems to make an impact on her. _

_ "Oh, that. I think it will be much better in this world." _

_ It seems that his words brought her back completely, but she had to remember how close to death she was after Roland's pregnancy, why is she surprised to learn he still was worried about it? _

_ "You're excited about the baby?" She asks, her eyes looking brightly into his. _

_ "Yes, very much so" He lies his eyes focusing on her, remembering to smile, remembering to pretend to look the way an excited person looks. _

_ She pulls him close and kisses him then, and he can tell she wants him, wants to feel close and connected, wants to fuck. _

_ And he is doomed, because he isn't going to get it up again, god, of all times not now. Not while he was faced with the knowledge that his wife is pregnant and he didn't even love her. He returns her kisses and paws awkwardly at her body, trying to remember how hands should roam over the body of a woman you love and desire. But it is as if he forgot how to even kiss a woman properly, and he's making a poor showing at this, worse than an awkward teenager's first time. _

_ So finally Marian decides to make the move, her hands falling to his crotch, gently stroking what should be hard but isn't through fabric, but god, this was pointless. _

_ "Marian—" _

_ She stops, pulls away, and meets his eyes, so plainly hurt. _

_ "There's something wrong, and don't tell me you're just worried or nervous or scared about Roland again. Robin I just told you I was pregnant, our family is growing and you won't even look at me…" _

_ The tears come. "I just wish you felt for me what I feel for you." She pauses before choking out the words, "I guess it will take time." _

_ He kisses her chastely, and tells her that he is going to research what people do for a baby in this world, to calm his nerves. He is going to see about a part-time job to make more money for the baby, if that is alright with her. Perhaps, he explains, he's just far too nervous about bringing a child into this new world. Information will help, right? _

_ Marian agrees to that, nods and tells him to get on it. So he leaves their apartment, slight twinge of guilt growing ever stronger with every stride. _

_ Because it was all a lie, just then. _

_ He stays out all day, thinking about how he could possibly be this miserable when all he had wanted for years was a big family with Marian. And god, when he found out about the baby those black, dark emotions hit him like a tidal wave and Marian had noticed. Marian had noticed and it hurt her badly. And then he was at a bar down the street, a filthy dive bar, getting drunk on cheap whiskey in the middle of the afternoon. What a great father and husband he was being right now. _

_ Robin tries, he tries to conjure up every memory of her and him years ago so he could feel excited for this new time with Marian, but it did no good. _

_ She deserves to be appreciated. She deserves to feel loved. _

_ He thinks of Regina, far far, too much. He wishes so many times that night that he could just feel for Marian what he felt for Regina. To satisfy her like he satisfied Regina. With glass after glass of whiskey, he thought more about Regina, how she responded to his touch, how silky smooth her skin felt, how her skin tasted of salt yet there was something sweet, a little spicy, that edge to her taste was everywhere, and god, it was intoxicating. He thought about that night in the vault, how passionate she had been, how she moans and responds to him wordlessly telling him what she liked, where her sensitive places are, that spot between her neck and shoulders, her earlobes, she liked when he ran fingers through her hair and scraped her scalp, she shivered when she did that, shuddered, like some sort of spasm, like when he was between her thighs and her body would shudder when he touched her just right, and oh god, everything about Regina in bed was amazing the way she'd light up every sense, the way she looks, tastes, sounds, her beautiful natural smell, of soap and lavender, the feel of her soft skin, of her wet, hot sex, and god… _

_ He shouldn't have been able to get physically excited after all the whiskey, but Regina does that to him. It's magic. _

_ He's also drunk enough in that moment to retreat within the fantasy, to allow himself to feel something close to happiness. He doesn't want to let the dream go, and continues to think of him and Regina all the way home. He replays their passionate nights together, as he finally allows himself to let his thoughts wander free and unashamed. He's hard in his jeans, despite the crisp night air, his cock twitching underneath layers, begging for release. All he can think about is going home, stripping, and getting into that shower and jerking himself to the memory of Regina' tight wetness, her skilled tongue, her god damned beautiful body…. _

_ He won't deny himself this tonight. He has other nights, has forced himself to go without, when thoughts of her have him hard and aching. But tonight, tonight he will come as much as he pleases to the thoughts of the woman he loves. He can handle guilt tomorrow, his whiskey clouded mind is in no condition to ponder the ethics of pounding off to the woman he still loves but cannot have. _

_ When he opens the door, he sees Marian on the other side, and, ah, there's that guilt. She looks so upset. Because of him. Because he doesn't look at her the same way he used to, because he doesn't crave her like he used to, because he sucks at pretending he was in love with her. And that wasn't fair, for her to suffer like this. _

_ He grabs Marian into a passionate embrace, but in his mind it's not Marian. It's Regina. His mind is swirling with guilt and regret, with a need to please and a need to be honorable, and there are so many contradictions, what is the right thing to do? Oh, who would get hurt if he could just pretend Marian were Regina and finally give her the affection and passion she deserved? _

_ Marian and Regina are similar, but they have their differences. Marian looks different, tastes different, feels different. They are both thin women, but Marian is muscular and taut, Regina softer. _

_ He shuts his eyes and tries to ignore these differences. His imagination is fierce, and he had more than enough to drink to dull his senses. _

_ And so that whole night, that whole night he touches, and kisses, and sucks Marian while picturing Regina. He used her memories to satisfy the person he thought was his wife. And satisfied, Marian had been. She had thanked him for coming back to her, she had been smiling, and she looked so happy and triumphant… _

_ She is so happy with the performance that he repeats it. Again, and again. And every time he found it hard to perform his husbandly duties with Marian, (which is often, because she craved the sex so much, blaming pregnancy hormones). He has to close his eyes and think about Regina, because despite the fact that she looked like Marian, his long lost love, there was something so different and unfamiliar about her, something so cold and something that felt so wrong. _

And of course it did. It was Zelena the whole time.


	6. Chapter 6

Robin does not sleep well, in fact, he barely sleeps at all. He is angry, terribly angry, and as he tosses and turns and fumes in the guest room, he realizes that anger is purely directed at himself. His behavior towards Regina was completely unjustified. Especially considering what she had been through. Especially considering what  _ he _ had put her through.

She had been nothing but polite, she had offered him friendship, she had just begged him to give her one thing – to not go through the gruesome details of the months he spent with Regina.

The least he could have done is respect her wishes.

He will not stop fighting for her to change her mind, but he owes her some space, at least for now. He had pushed too hard last night.

After a few hours of restless sleep he rises and checks on Roland. He's still sleeping soundly, and good for that. When Roland wakes, Robin will have to say goodbye to him, to give his care over to Little John and Belle and Will, for god knows how long.

It isn't as if this is the first time, anyway. Roland had spent many nights without his father, there were elaborate raids that needed to be planned, heists, raids, days of hard travel far away from Sherwood Forest...

Yes, Roland is more than used to this routine. He is resilient. He will be just fine without his papa for a few days.

Robin, on the other hand, will never quite get used to leaving his son like this. It is never easy, and this time is no exception. And yet, he never considers abandoning the plan to go to Camelot.

The fate of the entire town rests in their ability to find Merlin, and he owed it to his men, to his son, to everyone, to help in any way possible.

He tiptoes out the door and nearly smacks into Regina, who is just making her way down the hallway. The moment he looks at her his heart skips, breath hitches, because lord above, she's so gorgeous. He's overwhelmed with thoughts of holding her, kissing her brow and telling her exactly what she means to him.

He holds back. It's not easy, it's oh so painful, but he will do this. For her. The least he can do.

Regina opens her mouth to say something, but Robin holds a finger to his lips, letting her know that his son was still asleep, and they were to be quiet, moving downstairs to where Roland wouldn't wake.

Regina smiles and whispers "I was just going to ask if he was up yet."

Robin shakes his head. "He sleeps pretty soundly on a bed. I hope he hasn't been too spoiled by all this comfort, the men will never let me live it down if he whines about being uncomfortable sleeping on the ground."

Regina lets out a soft laugh (god, it's beautiful, everything about her is beautiful).

"I'm so sorry for how I acted last night." Robin says quickly.

She takes his hand. "I know. I'm sorry too." And no, she has nothing to apologize for and he will make sure she knows it. But she cuts him off before he can even start. She amends, "I'm sorry for the situation. It's not fair to any of us. I wish things were different." She squeezed his hand tight.

Yes, this would be hard for Robin, but he'd rather have Regina close to him, holding his hand, then far away. So he will be whatever she lets him be, and if he has to be a friend, he would be the best friend she ever had.

.::.

Emma Swan is having nightmares.

Not nightmares, not completely. She knows better than that. They are  _ visions _ . There's a recurring vision every night that is particularly troubling. Someone she cannot see is telling her "I love you" and then using the dagger to kill her.

It happens just the same. Every night. But the face that stabs her with the dagger is blank, no eyes, no mouth, no nose, nothing. Just a nameless, faceless being.

She cannot see this person but the words themselves terrify her. Someone who loves her is going to kill her.

There are other visions that come in far less frequency. She sees visions that seem to be potential futures, not written, unavoidable futures. She sees Regina, dying in Camelot. Sacrificing herself to a dragon so that others could escape. She sees her mother, dying in Camelot, being thrown from a high tower. She sees Hook dying at the hands of Rumpelstiltskin, dying from drinking and falling down stairs…she saw a lot of death. She wonders if Rumpelstiltskin was as tormented as she was.

But this night, in addition to the odd visions, she sees one of Henry. He is young, he wasn't much older than he was now – if at all. And he is bleeding, bright red. He cried out for his mom. Near him is Isaac.

Emma wakes in a cold sweat. And that was it. Isaac would have to die. She would not let this future be up to chance. Not when it was so easily preventable.

"You alright, love?" Killian asks, startled to see her practically jump out of her sheets.

"Not really" Emma admits.  _ But I will be  _ she thought to herself.

.::.

Regina stops by Emma's before leaving. Just for a few moments, just to say goodbye to Henry, just to make sure Emma does not need anything. Robin agrees to spend the morning with his son, and to leave her space to spend time with her own son.

Belle and Will are staying at Mary Margaret and David's apartment, and will watch Neal and Roland while the rest were gone. Little John would be helping. Rumple is still in a coma.

The moment she sees Emma that morning, she sees the change. It is getting worse, the darkness inside her, always worse after a full night's sleep, just as Emma told her.

Regina does her best to be polite. She knows Emma can be easily provoked right now. And she does not want to provoke Emma. Regina knows this, can tell just by looking at the beautiful blonde, that she will become darker and stronger everyday. Stronger than the last Dark One, or perhaps any Dark One. And Emma would never want to lose that power once she recognized she had it – especially not after she uses it for the first time.

Emma will soon be unstoppable.

Regina struggles to look away, to focus on Emma's nos, or lips, or eyebrows. She won't make eye contact, for that is how Emma usually reads her. And the thoughts going through Regina's mind will only serve to scare Emma further

Unfortunate, Emma notices the evasiveness almost immediately. "What is it, Regina?" Emma asks, sounding exasperated and impatient.

Regina tries as honest as possible without scaring her. "I can sense your mood. I don't want to set you off even further. It always seems like I have that affect on you."

"You tell the truth but you always hide part of the story." Emma notes, raking over her form with some thought. "What are you hiding?"

"The location of the dagger, Emma." Regina reminds, feigning exasperation. "We've been through this."

Emma shakes her head. "It's not just that. Do you still trust me with Henry?"

And now, Regina meets her gaze. Truthfully, at this point she wasn't sure, but she will always be honest when it comes to Henry. "Do you trust yourself with Henry?"

Emma's eyes soften a bit. "Yes."

"The moment you don't is the moment you know you have to leave. The moment you're afraid you will hurt him. I know from experience." Regina touches her arm, almost in a maternal, careful touch. With that touch, Emma got a shock of images. Regina was in pain over something, she was scared, she felt guilt, concern, everything all at once.

Emma takes a step back, confused and a little disgusted. "You feel too much, way, way too much!"

Regina laughs bitterly. "You shouldn't try to read emotions or thoughts on those with dark hearts. When you have a lifetime of committing dark acts, you expect a lifetime of pain and regret. You learn to live with it." Regina notes that Emma could see visions of people's thoughts on touching them. The Dark Ones powers were flowing into her quickly.

"I saw Isaac murder Henry." Emma says bluntly, then adding, with equal nonchalance, "I'm going to kill him before that happens."

"Rumple had those visions too, he shared them with me once when I expressed a desire to know the future." Regina's voice was slow and calm. "But they are possibilities, not truths. They may not even be possibilities at this point. So much of what happens is dependent on other people's actions and the choices of those you see dying. Rumple never knew how Belle died, for sure. Or how Baelfire died. You don't know how Henry dies."

"Don't you love him? Isn't Isaac's death worth having the security that this won't happen?"

Regina agrees with her, deep down she wants to scream  _ Yes, kill him _ ! "It's worth it to me. But it's not worth dealing with the fallout that will come from a darkened heart. It hasn't happened, it most likely won't. These images of the loved ones dying….it's the darkness inside of you trying to get you to give in. You can't feed it, Emma."

"You're so sure this isn't real?"

"I'm sure that if you kill him and he's innocent, you'll live with the regret of that for the rest of your life. And you've seen how killing innocents has affected me," Regina smiles at her, reminding Emma of what she saw when she touched Regina's arm, what the emotions that coarse through Regina's mind feel like – even if they are just in the background, they are still there. Always there. "That's not the life I want for you."

Emma was scowling, she was angry, yet could not argue. In the end, she wished Regina a good trip and left her.

Henry had been watching the interaction instead of eating his breakfast. As Emma stormed away, he approached Regina and put a hand on her elbow, startling her.

"Mom? Is everything ok?"

Regina cups his face in her hands. "Emma's going to be at her worst in the morning, Henry. It's going to get better as long as she spends a lot of time with people she cares about. She's fighting it, though. She really is. If anyone can beat this, it's the savior."

She tousles his hair and she can't help but worry and second guess her decision. "I'm wondering if leaving you here is a bad idea. Killian is capable of…staying with her. Maybe you are safest going to Camelot, with me? Or maybe Belle should take you and Roland and Neil out of Storybrooke just for a bit -"

"I'm not leaving Emma!" Henry insists. "It's not just your decision. It's mine. I won't leave her. You can't make me."

Regina frowns, contemplating his words, remembering how much older, stronger, and resilient Henry was. She has the need to protect him always, but he has consistently proven that he can take care of himself. And, without Henry's help, there'd be little chance of Emma escaping the fate of the Dark One. If Henry leaves Emma (which he wouldn't ever do, voluntarily, anyway), Emma will be fully turned into the Dark One within twenty-four hours. And the whole town would be in grave danger.

So this is for the best.

Still it is not fun to put her son next to such a potentially dangerous situation.

"You are to leave the second you even think Emma is dangerous, you understand me?" She put a hand on his shoulder and tilts her head, searching for his eyes. "I know you want to be a hero, but you can't just think about yourself." Blinking back tears, she adds, "what would I do without you? You have to keep yourself safe for me."

Henry smiles and nods, and Regina attempts to recover herself, keep herself from breaking again. "And for Roland and Neil, they need you too, ok?"

"Mom I promise I'll be safe. Emma won't hurt me. And she's not going to hurt Roland or Neil." He rests a hand on her shoulder, imitating the same move his mother just made seconds ago. "I know you're worried about them. I know you love them too."

Regina is puzzled by his words, struggles to best explain how he will always be the most important person in her life, and dear god, the kid can read her as well as his  _ other  _ mother, because he's adding, "I'm not jealous! They are family too."

Family. Arguably Neil is her step-grandchild, but what is Roland, now? She can't help but feel a connection to him. He feels like a part of her – indeed, she feels a sense of connection, of belonging to him that she only really feels with Henry. No matter what happened with Robin, Henry was right. She loved Roland, and Roland  _ is _ family. It's too complicated to sort out what that means for the future, so she just agrees with her perceptive little boy and wishes him well, reminding him to keep their communication device on him at all times so he could update her on the status of the town.

.::.

Regina had never noticed it before, but now that Gold isn't there to add his mind games, his torturous riddles, or his general prickly demeanor, she can appreciate just how homey his shop actually is. It has Belle's touch, and you could almost feel her in the walls, that soft, warm presence overshadowing the owner's vicious past. The shop no longer brings Regina that shudder, that shiver that was both terrifying and exciting. She didn't miss it, though, not entirely.

Armed with her notes on Camelot, the purple stone she will use to communicate with Henry, and just enough magic to keep her wits about her, Regina prepares a potion to open a portal to Camelot. It is swirling, glowing colors in a cast iron pot.

The Charmings are there with her, Robin is at her side, armed with his bow and arrows and little else. As the potion was readying, Maleficent and Lily came in.

Regina barely looked up to say hello. Won't even let them know she was currently worrying that they would back out of this trip last minute. "We're all here then" she said "And just in time."

"What's the plan when we get there?" Maleficent asks, almost meekly.

Regina raises an eyebrow. "I was under the impression I was taking direction from you."

Maleficent nods. "I will take you to…to the last place I saw Merlin. But surely there are other leads?"

"Of course. But I don't share everything. Let's keep this interesting."

The potion bubbles and swirls, and something kicks in and it grows a mind of its own, sloshing violently in the pot. It is ready now.

Wisps of steam float off the cauldron, spinning and threading together to form a shimmery transparent pit. It grows until there's a whirlpool of colored fog.

"We all need to enter. Quickly." Regina ushers the Charming's first. Then Robin.

Lily's eyes are wide with curiosity and fear. Regina takes a second to just look at her, to remember how overwhelming this must be for someone who only recently saw real magic in action.

"When you come out you'll fall to the Earth. We'll be right outside a castle. It won't be a hard fall and you won't be hurt." Lily looked to her mom, who nodded her head encouragingly. Lily stepped through the portal with eyes closed.

Maleficent laughs. "Her first portal. She's going to be pissed we didn't warn her about the rough ride."

Regina nods. "But she never would have stepped in so easily if we were honest."

"Shall we, my little one?" Maleficent holds out her elbow for Regina to take, and for a second it is like old times. Regina is arm and arm with the first person who made her feel alive, safe and , beautiful. They exchanged smiles and step into the portal in perfect synchronization, like old friends.

Regina added a kick to the portal – each person jumping through would be transformed into medieval attire. She had picked a red velvet dress for herself, a tight corset, form fitting, but not uncomfortable. The light blue, dress with the full skirt was for Snow, and she drew Snow's hair out long again for this realm, as cutting hair short was a punishment in Camelot, and also a sign of being a witch. They could not afford that type of attention.

Regina dresses Maleficent in purple, wispy layers of semi-translucent purple fabric on top of a deep purple satin, with similar translucent sleeves. She remembered a time when Maleficent liked purple, though it had been years since she saw her in anything but black or gray. But Regina had been at a loss for Lily. Lily looks like the girl who had never worn a dress in her life. Anything Regina had thought of seemed so completely out of place for the girl. Finally, she had settled on green, remembering that Lily's jacket is green. She kept the dress velvet, without the poofy look. A gold belt and gold around the wrists accentuated the dress. Once transformed, Lily looked…quite beautiful. If not entirely out of character.

They fall to the earth exactly where Regina had planned they drop, the castle exactly off in the distance. She plotted this place from a picture of Camelot, and the location was perfect.

But she had expected some place calm and serene, and instead she hears jeers and screams, and applause. And the shrieking of many animals in the sky.

She looks up above, and the sky is just littered with them.

Dragons.

Not just a few. Many. So very many. They are fighting, or maybe not fighting, maybe playing. But Regina did not see this in her study of Camelot. She did not see a realm overrun by what appears to be thirty dragons in the sky. This was unexpected.

"Oh my god, what happened here?" Maleficent asks, as if entirely unaware of what her former home had become.

"You tell me" Regina mutters, still in awe at the beasts above her head.

Lily lacked all fear or sense of caution. She grins ear to ear, gushing, "This. Is. Awesome." Before anyone can say a word, to warn or remind her to be careful, Lily transforms into a dragon and leaps into the air to join the crowded sky.

Maleficent follows her, crying out fearfully for her daughter to stop, to come back.

Regina watches as the two beasts left the group. "Looks like it's time for Plan B." she shrugs. "Maleficent and Lily are apparently out." She is going to control her rage over this, over the fact Maleficent had abandoned her literally the second her feet hit the ground. She will worry about what that meant later.

But no sooner had she started to trudge towards the thick of the forest, then Maleficent and Lily swoop down to the earth, Maleficent's giant wing guiding Lily down. On the ground they transformed back to human form.

"RUN!" Mal screams, her eyes wide with fear – fear Regina had not seen in her, perhaps ever. Without asking, everyone follows her, heading towards the forest. But it was too late for an exit plan. They had already been spotted. Another dragon was plummeting down, down, right into their area.

"MORGAN!" He roars her name the very instant he transformed from beast to man. He wasn't a particularly imposing man. Average size, with blonde hair and blue eyes. A handsome man, but certainly not someone Regina was accustomed from running. "MORGAN LA FEY. Show yourself now. We will find you."

Morgan looks at Regina, half panicked, half amused. Regina shoots her a look that communicated wordlessly the truth of their situation. They were not going to escape. It is better to come out strong rather than hide.

Regina takes out her escape plan, her potion and the piece of fabric of Emma's, and collects everyone's weapons. She hides them in the nook of a tree and placed a spell over them. They would be hidden, invisible, waiting for her to get them when she had extracted herself from this situation.

"Come and face me! Or has a century away made you a coward, Morgan?" The man screams into the air, spinning around, looking behind bushes and trees wildly.

"It's Maleficent now." Maleficent responds smoothly as she leaves her hiding space and walks into the clearing. Regina follows, with Robin close behind. The Charmings take cue, with Lily sheepishly in tow. "And I have no fear. But I would prefer my daughter and my group not get hurt in a personal vendetta."

"The other dragon….your daughter?"

"Yes, and these are…."

"Is that the Evil Queen?" He asks, eyes in narrow slits, voice colored with amusement, finger pointing accusingly at Regina.

"You've heard…of me." Regina approaches cautiously. Who was this man, this man who could become a dragon.

"Tales of your crimes against humanity…and of your beauty…have made their way to Camelot." He concedes.

"The Queen has changed much since those times. And the tales were grossly exaggerated." Maleficent explains. Regina finds it curious that she does not attempt to fight this man. Perhaps she was scared of him, which amused Regina. He was one amongst many, with an entire kingdom focused on what appeared to be a great dragon war.

"Well the tales of her beauty were not exaggerated," He winks, biting his lower lip. It sounds like flirting, but at a time like this? When his eyes wander over Regina's form, she knows he was flirting. "I'm Arthur. I assume you have heard of me as well. You've just stopped by during the Dragon Games. And I am very sorry to be so inhospitable but…"

He flicks his wrists so lightly Regina barely registers the action until she feels the cuffs stitch themselves around her arm. She looks around to see the cuffs are on Lily and Maleficent as well. Regina recognized these cuffs immediately. Magic blocking cuffs. She rolls her eyes. She would think of a way out of these quickly.

For now, she is stuck. Stuck obeying the orders of another King. Arthur orders them to march along to his castle. Three dragons dropped to the sky, one carrying a few guards. And they were ushered into the castle from there. It looks like the only thing Arthur has done since they arrived is smirk at Maleficent. Regina noticed the rivalry ran deep. It was personal. That is good. She could exploit personal vendettas.

"A lot has changed since you left, Morgan."

"So much and then, barely any at all" she notes, looking at Arthur, puzzled. "You aren't much older than when I left you."

"Yes, time was frozen for sometime. We barely noticed, but about four years ago, a curse was broken in our town. We don't know how it was broken, or who enacted it to begin with."

"Probably has something to do with the sudden influx of sorcerers." Maleficent said, looking up at the sky.

"The people have grown to appreciate magic. There was an invasion to the kingdom years ago. Merlin and a small group of sorcerers fought them off in dragon form. Not a single peasant was killed. From then on,  _ good _ sorcery has been embraced. Merlin has taught a few skilled people how to engage in magic, myself included. We have the dragon games in remembrance of the battle. There are some real dragons up there, we fight for sport and entertainment now." Arthur chuckles "Of course, the evil sorcerers are still very much unforgiven. My people would love to see you burned at the stake."

Maleficent cackles. "I'm sure. Haven't they always?"

"Times have changed, my girl. You are no longer powerful or rare in this realm. You will not be able to escape."

"To the dungeons?" asks one of the guards.

"No, I don't want them to have time to talk this out and form a plan. Immediately to the King's Court." Arthur orders.

The guards are swift, checking and removing weapons from each member. Regina had been careful to stash most of her equipment in a hollow space in a tree right before showing herself to Arthur, yet she had kept her notes on possible locations of Merlin, and large, purple stone she would use to talk to Henry. When it was confiscated, she protests.

"I'm going to need that back."

The guards laughed at her. What possible reason could she have for making a demand on them?

"Very well. But you will pay for this." Regina promises. She will get the stone back. She will kill the guards after she shows them she bested them.

_ No, that's old Regina. _

She turns to Robin, feeling guilty for her fleeting thoughts. She would best the guards, get her stone back, and then  _ berate _ and _ humiliate _ them. Better.

Afterall, you can't expect her to change completely overnight, can you?

Maleficent walks alongside Regina as they were ushered towards Arthur's castle.

"I cannot believe I trusted you to help me" Regina groans. "Not even five minutes in Camelot and you get us captured. Well done, Mal."

Maleficent cannot hide the amusement in her voice. "It's deliciously awful, isn't it?"

Regina rolls her eyes. "What about this is so funny to you?"

Maleficent shrugs. "I guess it's just…good to be home."

"Apparently everyone in your home wants to execute you…" Regina reminds her.

"Most people in Storybrooke want to execute you. But you still love it there, don't you?"

Regina fights the urge to wince at that truth, knowing that the vast majority of Storybrooke would never forgive her for her years of terrorizing the town. Still, it was home to her. She could somewhat understand Maleficent's mood just now.

"Besides, Arthur's bark is worse than his bite. I see no real danger, little one. For you, anyway." Maleficent moves to wrap her arms around her. The guard hit Maleficent from behind, a swift punch to her back, yelling  _ No touching! _

They part then, Maleficent looking thoroughly unamused and no doubt planning the guard's death.

Maleficent returns to Lily, then, rushing to console her, no doubt. And who would have thought the evil queen and fearsome sorceress would be such loving parents?

.::.

The King's Court is smaller than Regina expects, and far less lavish. Arthur sits on his throne. While ordinarily it was the subjects who would kneel in front and beg for mercy, this court was truly set up like a trial court. The Storybrooke gang is ushered to sit and face the King, behind a large table.

Arthur walks over to Maleficent. "Normally you would be executed on the spot. But you are lucky, for two reasons. First, the kingdom is occupied with the dragon games and I will not interrupt them for your pathetic execution. And second, and more importantly, I suspect you know where Merlin is. Tell me, and I will spare your child. And your friends."

Maleficent laughs bitterly. "Tell me how you finally figured out how to transform into a dragon."

"Merlin taught me prior to his disappearance. Which was not too long ago. And here you are. Have you taken him again?"

"I left Camelot the last day I visited Merlin. I have not seen him since, and we have only returned to find him. She –"Maleficent points to Regina "– manipulated my daughter into coming back here, and I was forced to follow along to protect my daughter. The Evil Queen is trying to find Merlin and capture him. I have only the interest in making sure my daughter is not hurt."

So the truce was apparently off. Now it was every man for himself. Regina sighed, she was stupid to bring Maleficent in the first place, and even stupider to believe her words just a few minutes ago.

"Maleficent your loyalty overwhelms me," interrupts Regina, "it's true, however, that I've come to see Merlin. There is a very powerful sorceress in our own kingdom, and she was just taken by the Dark One. We were told by Merlin's apprentice that Merlin himself could help destroy the Dark One for good. If you are looking for Merlin, our interests are aligned."

Arthur smiled at Regina, looking pensive and curious. "And what of the lady who just sought to crucify you here before my Court? Did she come only to protect her daughter?"

"The current Dark One has an interesting history with Maleficent's daughter. Maleficent knows she must seek to destroy the darkness before it destroys her own daughter. She is also seeking Merlin." Regina looked at her and scowled "Though if I knew how useless she would be I never would have brought her along."

Arthur is silent for a minute, stroking his slight beard. "And forgive me, who are the rest of those with you?"

Regina introduces David, Robin, and Snow White.

"THE Snow White?" Arthur asks "The innocent former stepchild you sought to kill?"

"Things are much different between us now." Snow White chirps in that infuriating positive way. "I now trust Regina with my life."

"Interesting." Arthur stares at the group with some amusement. With a flick of his hands, he sent what appeared to be a sonic boom travelling quickly towards them. Instinctively, Maleficent went to cover Lily and Regina leaps in front of Snow. The tidal wave of air sweeps over them, not hurting anyone.

"VERY interesting!" Arthur exclaims. "Truly magnificent."

"What was that?" Snow asks, still a bit shaken by the event itself and the arms of her step mother that had held her in such a….tender way.

"Magic, of course. It is meant to bring forth the mother's instinct."

"I am a mother." Regina concedes. "My son is back home, and he is in grave danger."

Arthur wags a finger and shakes his head. "No, no. It only works if your child nearby. And it appears you have a child near you right now. Or someone you love as your child." He motions to Snow.

And there it is. After all these years, as much as she wanted not to, as much as it was unfair that she had to, Regina, despite everything, still saw herself as Snow's mother. It seems impossible, even being generous, it seemed  _ nearly _ impossible, that she could ever love  _ Snow _ as a daughter! The old Evil Queen was not be capable of such things as love for the little girl she had spent years trying to kill – had killed innocents for years in search of destroying. But somehow, deep inside...perhaps...she always had accepted this obligation bestowed upon her unfairly.

Regina looks more startled than anyone at the revelation. And when she meets Snow's eyes, all she sees is a broad, shit eating grin. Oh god, Regina was never going to live this down.

Regina rolls her eyes, considers protesting, but she realizes Arthur seems to soften towards her. If he wants to believe this ridiculous thing – that she loves and cares for Snow as if she were her own daughter, she will grit her teeth and pretend.

Arthur continues to interrogate Maleficent, but she only answers in sarcastic comments and insults. Snow whispers worried questions into Regina's ear. "Can you make her stop doing this?" "Why is she antagonizing him?" "We need to speak with her…" But Regina never responds with anything but a smile.

She cannot fault Maleficent for this behavior, afterall, Regina would respond the same way were she in her shoes. Maleficent isn't going to let this man intimidate her. She is going to be cocky and confident to the very end. Deep down, though Arthur and the guards would never admit it, Regina is sure that this confidence worries them, just a little. She can feel the uncertainty radiating off of them.

"Send them off to the dungeons for the night" Arthur finally said, frustrated. "Perhaps in the morning Morgan will have more to say."

His eyes lingered on Regina as she left. Arthur had battled evil his whole life, but he had never seen a woman so effectively battle evil within herself. To him, Regina was an interesting subject to be studied.

.::.

The group is lead to a dungeon, really more of prison cells than the torture chamber Regina was imagining.

"Dragons go in here." A guard snarls, ushering in Maleficent and Lily. The chamber was dark and damp, still there was straw on the sides, at least something soft to sit on.

"The rest of you lot get the master suite" a guard chuckles. "You get bedding. The king must want you comfortable." Regina, Robin, and the Charmings are locked into the chamber next door. All that separated them from Maleficent and Lily was a strong iron gate, so they could still talk to the dragons. Or, Regina could at least pick a fight with Maleficent, which was enough for her.

After the guard leaves, it is Regina who speaks first. "So,  _ Morgan,  _ you could have told me about this before we all left."

"Seriously, mom" Lily presses, "I mean if there's a whole kingdom who wants you dead I would have laid low."

"If I had told you none of you would have allowed me to come, and Lily would be on her own. Besides, I'm still the best chance of finding Merlin."

"We don't need to find Merlin. Are you seriously worried that Emma will hurt me? I can handle Emma."

Lily and Maleficent began to bicker, like an entitled daughter and overprotective mother. Regina groans, positioning herself on a small straw-filled mattress as far away as she could get from the dragons. Robin sat next to her. She grabbed his hand.

"Alright?" he asks. Since being thrown into Camelot, she had felt quite different. Stronger, a bit cockier. Being around Maleficent had given her that edge that had softened in years around the likes of Snow and Emma. But she remains different than she was before. After all, Regina just found out she regarded Snow as her own daughter.

"I'm fine." Regina assures, coldly. "Apparently we have a warm place to sleep and the ability to work out a strategy for where Merlin can be. That is, if Maleficent has any interest in speaking to us.

Snow speaks then. "Are we just not going to talk about it?"

Regina feigns confusion "Not talk about what?"

Snow laughed at her poor attempt. "Regina….You protected me."

"Probably because I saw you as a helpless child."

" _ Your _ helpless child."

"Please, don't flatter yourself. We don't even know if Arthur was telling the truth about that spell."

Regina waves her hand in the air dismissively, yet deep down she wondered if she had so transformed in a way where she actually loved her most serious enemy. It certainly felt that way, but was she capable of changing that much?

"You love me." Snow taunts, so proud of herself it made Regina sick.

"Oh please, we have better things to think about, Snow." Regina rolls her eyes.

Weary from the travels, they chase after sleep in the dark dungeon. Robin, David and Snow promise to think of escape routes before resting. They are three people who were good at escaping, but the castle and this realm was unknown to them. To escape effectively, they would need the help of Maleficent. And she seemed unwilling to help.

Regina calls out to Maleficent that she best have a plan on places to search for Merlin in the morning, and Maleficent had nothing to say but to laugh. "I'm not giving you information on the possible whereabouts of Merlin. It's my only bargaining chip to get out of this godforsaken dungeon."

Tired of arguing, Regina laid down on the far cot. She is a bit overwhelmed by the task in front of her – as she was now not only tasked with finding Merlin, she now had to find a way to escape the King and his men – with no magic. Her worries begin to consume her, until she feels Robin coming behind her to sit down on the cot. He had vowed to be a better friend to her, to support her in whatever way he could, and he feels himself needed at that moment.

"Lay down," He whispers, "You didn't get much sleep last night, you must be exhausted."

"I don't know if I can sleep" she admits.

"You sleep well when you are with me," Robin reminds "I won't…I won't try anything if that's what you're worried about."

She laughs, because no, of course she wasn't worried Robin was going to take advantage of her in her sleep. But she felt on display with the Charmings and Maleficent around her. It feels weak, overly vulnerable, to be spooned and cradled by a man in the way she knew put her to sleep immediately. She may be more light than dark now, but she was not more weak than strong.

Plus, part of her knew this isn't best for Robin, it would mess with his emotions, to use him to help her sleep - even if he had suggested it himself. So she insists they lay awkwardly on their backs, without either touching one another, until Robin eventually shifted to his side put an arm around her chest, telling her it was okay to sleep. Regina yearns for privacy to talk to him, to tell him she was worried about Henry and worried about this land of so much magic. Instead, she focuses on pushing that worry away and focusing on the next plan.

She had not yet fallen asleep when the guards return.

"Arthur has requested that one" He points to Regina. "For questioning. Alone."

Regina rises without protest. Robin and the Charmings plea with the guards, asking them to not do this, but such attempts are in vain. Arthur had requested her and Arthur will get her.

.::.

As Regina is escorted away, Snow looks at Maleficent accusingly "You know this is all your fault."

"Shutup you foolish girl," Maleficent half answers. "You're giving me a headache."

"What does he want her for?" Robin asks worriedly.

"Arthur's got a thing for her. Typical Arthur, always mistaking lust for love. And Regina is exactly his type. He's going to make a few passes at her, ask her for some information on me, on Merlin, probably will be proclaiming his undying love and proposing to her in the next few nights. Arthur is….well if I was being nice I'd say he was a romantic. If I was being realistic I'd say he's a lovesick, lust-filled fool. Men may not be able to match his abilities on the field – especially with magic – but women can absolutely destroy him with a little perfume and lipstick."

Robin just listens. He should be relieved, but he wasn't. The idea of Arthur taking Regina up to his chambers to seduce her didn't sound much better than taking her up to interrogate or torture her. Not only for his selfish male needs, but for Regina, for Regina who had already dealt with the unwanted advances of one King, well, this would not do well.

"Are you sure that's all?" David asks doubtfully, "They know her as the Evil Queen here."

"Like I said, she's Arthur's type." Maleficent repeats. Robin says nothing, his reaction is not going to give away how worried he was about this arrangement. But he is grateful when Snow speaks up. "He's not going to—"

"Force himself on her? Oh no, he's going to woo her, the way a farm boy would woo a milk maid. He's a king but he's very into that sort of thing. He's utterly pathetic if we're being honest."

"How do you know such about him?" Snow asks skeptically.

"I know my dear brother well." Morgan smiles devilishly.


	7. Chapter 7

Regina makes her way up, up, the castle stairs, into the King's "private" living quarters. The guards take her to Arthur's dining chambers, where Arthur sits at the end of a comically large rectangular table with only a jug of wine and a plate of fruit, cheese and nuts by his side.

"Your majesty" he bows sarcastically.

" _ Your _ majesty" she repeats, even offering a curtsy, dripping with sarcasm.

"Sit, sit, please eat and drink whatever you want." Arthur points to the food. Regina made her way to the bottle of wine, and grabbed at a few grapes. "I have questions about you. You have peaked my interest in several ways."

"How so?"

"Your reputation was that of a vile, hateful woman. Yet I cannot see any of that in you now. And it appears your biggest enemy is now someone for which you would sacrifice your own life."

Regina nearly spit out her wine.

"Oh I would never lay my life on the line for Snow." She pauses. "Of course, my son, I would for him."

"I did want to hear about this son, too. Who is his father?"

"He's my adopted son. He's 13 years old. And he's in danger back home. I need to find Merlin to fix it. You can have whatever you want if you can help us find Merlin and just talk to him about what happened with our current Dark One, and see if he can be of any help."

"So your son is back home?"

"Presumably."

"You trusted him with all that evil?"

"Henry is a smart boy, he's rescued plenty of people in town already. He believes – in himself and others – much more than most. Still, I left him with a communication device – a way to reach me. Your guards confiscated the device from me. I wanted to speak to him every night."

Arthur walked to a buffet table on the far side of the wall, using a key, he opened a drawer. "Which of these items is your communication device?"

Regina attempts to touch the purple stone, but Arthur quickly grabbed it and put it out of reach, with a taunting her. "Not that I don't trust you have changed, but this device could be anything. I can't risk you detonating some sort of magic bomb." He laughed. He was looking at her all over now, admiring the way her face flushed when she was angry, the way her eyes darkened. Regina was a treat.

"I need to talk to my son."

"Then tell me how to work it, and you can talk to him. I'm not unfamiliar with magic."

Regina sighs. "You have to touch it while thinking about the person you want to speak with. You don't know Henry so thinking about him would not work. I need to do it."

"Describe him to me. I will imagine what you say, and we'll see if it works, shall we?"

Regina lets out a slow puff of fair and wills herself to calm. Tells herself to play along. For Henry.

She describes her son. Her son is brave, he was noble. He tries his best at nearly everything he did. He is a bit lanky, but he was tall, with dark hair and dark eyes. He is the biological son of the current Dark One, the biological grandson of the last Dark One, yet his heart is still completely light. He believes in his mother, and he loves her, even though she deserves neither from him.

Regina is surprised to see the stone light up. Henry's face projected up above the stone. Arthur smiles, happily, and hands the stone to Regina, who accepted happily.

"Henry thank god. How are you?"

"Tired mom, it's late here."

"Oh no, I'm so sorry I forgot about the time. How is Emma?"

"She's…angry a lot. But by the time dinner time came she was ok. Nothing to worry about."

_ She's getting worse.  _ Regina thought. She could hear it in his voice. "Thank you Henry. Just keep an eye on her. When you go to school, make sure Hook knows to stay with her at all times. I don't want her to feel isolated or alone."

"You already told me, mom!" Henry groans, "I told you I could handle this." But then Henry seems to pick up something, and his mood shifts to one of concern. "Are you ok? Is everything ok? Did you find Merlin?"

"Not yet. We're in Arthur's castle."

"King Arthur? Have you seen the round table?"

"We just got here." Regina looks up at Arthur, who was taking this conversation in, clearly getting a laugh out of it.

"Listen Henry, I need you to have an escape plan. If things get bad and Roland or Neal is in any danger I need you to take him and get out of Storybrooke. There's money in my vault. There's directions to Baelfire's apartment. Killian has been outside and he's the best person to come with you, but my guess is he won't leave Emma, and I don't know if Belle will leave Rumple. Will, Little John, or Ruby and her grandmother are your best shot for surviving outside Storybrooke. Take them with you. Do you understand?"

Henry nods. "So…are things going badly?" It is unlike Regina to bring up an escape plan, especially this early into a quest. It usually signified a bad situation.

"No sweetie, I am just being practical. I don't know when I will get to talk to you next….it's hectic here. I am so proud of you, Henry."

"I'm proud of you too, and I believe in you. You're going to fix this."

_ If Only.  _ Regina grimaces,  _ If only it were as easy as that. _

"Go back to sleep. I love you. I always love you. Never forget that."

"I love you too."

Regina releases the purple stone, setting it on the desk. Her eyes are a bit misty, a bit watery, but she would not let herself cry in front of her son, and she would certainly not let herself cry in front of the man holding her captive. She looks up to find his gaze on her.

"So the stories of the death and destruction of your past…all true?"

"Mostly."

"And now you've transformed. You've become a mother to Snow White, and a mother to a boy who is not biologically yours. And you love them."

"I love Henry," Regina corrects, "Snow and I…strive toward common goals."

"You continue to deny you love her, but I know otherwise. So, what changed in you? Did you discover how to remove the darkness from your heart?"

It was a puzzling question – one Regina did not expect, and she laughs out of the sheer coincidence – they were going to ask Merlin for that very favor for Emma. If she knew how to remove the darkness from her heart she would have done it years ago.

"If I had the ability to perform magic, I'd take my heart out and show it to you myself. It's darkened, and ugly. I carry my sins and crimes with me every day. I know of no magic light enough to erase what I have done. "

"Remove your heart?" Arthur asks, "that…that magic, that wasn't an exaggeration? It's possible?"

It strikes Regina as curious, this question. While removing hearts is not first level magic, it's quite common, and certainly not anything that requires a terrible level of skill. She wonders what type of magic Arthur has been exposed to, and suddenly finds herself wondering exactly how versed in magic he even is. His teacher – Merlin, was certainly just as knowledgeable in magic as Rumple, if not moreso. He could have been taught all types of light and dark magic.

Arthur clears his throat nervously. "My kingdom did not always embrace magic. The few sorcerers were feared – even Merlin was terrifying to those who had not got a chance to know him. Merlin changed that, when the dragons invaded and the sorcerers worked together to save the kingdom. But there is still deep mistrusts of sorcerers who have used their power for evil." Arthur grabs Regina's hand. She attempts to twist out of his grasp immediately. She hates being touched like this. "My kingdom will want you dead. Executed. It will not take long for word to spread that you have been captured, along with Maleficent or Morgan, as she is known here. The people want you dead, but I do not."

"Why not?" She twists her wrist again, this time succeeding in freeing herself from his touch. Her question is an honest one, for she is not scared of death, not at all. But in fact, quite curious as to why this man does not want to kill the Evil Queen. What good is she alive?

"Because you're a good mother. You're trying to save an entire realm that sounds like it is in dire trouble and you appear to be the driving force behind this rescue operation. A savior, of sorts."

Regina snorts. Her.  _ The savior _ .

"There's also the matter of you being exceptionally, breathtakingly beautiful. It seems a crime to the gods above to destroy such a work of art."

Once again, she finds this charm…disarming. He's not forcing himself on her, but he seems intent on . "I don't need false flattery."

"This is not false flattery, so you can take what you need." Arthur's eyes twinkle, and his lips curl into a half-grin. "You need to find Merlin to save your kingdom?"

"We need Merlin to save every kingdom. This new Dark One will be the strongest one yet. She was very powerful before assuming these powers."

"So we will look for Merlin. I will send out word to the Kingdom that you have come to find our missing, beloved wizard and that I would agree to pardon you if he is found. If we don't find him, we're all doomed anyway, so an execution couldn't be all bad."

"When I ruled a Kingdom my peasants did not instruct me on who to kill or not kill. It would show weak leadership."

"And you lost your kingdom to Snow White."

"True, but I won in the end." Regina says, with a wicked smile "So that's it, I find Merlin or I'm executed. Burned at the stake?"

"Naturally." Arthur responds with a coy smile of his own. "Though with your skill I would hope it wouldn't come to that. I read your notes on Merlin. You have many fascinating theories on his whereabouts."

Regina's mind is elsewhere. "If I fail, I presume the others can leave? They are not...evil. Nor were they ever."

Arthur laughs and wags a finger. "I assume you mean all but the woman you call Maleficent. She will not be so lucky. Your friends are innocents, I assume?"

Innocents. Yes, that's a word for them.

"None have magic, except for Lily, and all are innocents. Tell your peasants they were our prisoners."

"I must say I find you the most fascinating woman in as far as I can remember." Arthur exclaims looking at her admiringly.

"You may sleep in your own room tonight, outside of the dungeon. It's no place for a lady."

This was confusing. Why would he allow her the freedom to roam about the kingdom? Ordinarily it would be a ticket to escape, and she would have been back home easily. But alas, she would go nowhere without the others. And while there was a common goal of finding Merlin, there was no reason to leave Camelot. Not until she failed to find Merlin in this realm and had to escape execution. But that could wait.

"I must get back to the others. I don't want to leave them alone. Can I take this food for them?"

Regina nods to the grapes, the cheese, the bread, all that was on the table untouched.

"Always feeding your followers, are you, your majesty?"

"Regina" she gently reminds, "I am a queen no more."

"I doubt that very much." Arthur is looking at her with such…intensity. She almost blushed under his fixated eyes, until she remembers he's her captor, and frankly, a bit pathetic. "Until tomorrow morning, I bid you goodnight, my queen. Don't worry about fixing your people a meal. There will be breakfast for you and the others." Arthur holds her hand and kissed it, and then, seemingly on a whim, wraps his arms around her, pulling her into a gentle embrace. He presses his lips to her cheek softly. When he draws himself back from the small hug, he's looking up and down her body, eyes lingering on curves. His tongue peers out to lick his lips, and suddenly Regina feels as if she were some sort of prey he was considering devouring.

And she doesn't like it one bit.

"That's quite enough of that." Regina orders, hands on her hips. She does not fear death as much as she fears being treated as a meal for a King.

But there's something odd. Whereas she should be upset, should feel trapped and scared at being gawked at by the man who is holding her against her will….she wasn't. Arthur showed no signs of wanting to force her, that much was obvious. He was staring at her because he found her beautiful, it seems, but was not going to act upon any desires he might had. It was almost…flattering. And she would much rather be flirted with by this man, as opposed to tortured. And hell, it's nice to know she can attract the interest of a man who did not just sleep with her sister.

"My apologies. I was going to fetch you some clothes for tomorrow and I was trying to imagine which dress would be best suited for you."

"How lovely." Regina mutters sarcastically. "I'm sure one of your servants can assist us with that, how  _ kind _ of you to offer."

Arthur answers only with a smile and a kiss to her palm.

Regina is escorted by guards down to the dungeon, which was now dimly lit with only a few candles. Shehopes everyone is asleep, so she can climb into bed and let herself fear for the future for a moment without eyes on her, looking for answers, for plans, for strength. Just a moment – until the feeling of worrying over Henry and worrying over the lives of everyone dissipated.

But Regina has never been that lucky. And she is escorted back to a dungeon full of open, inquiring eyes.

"Regina thank god you are ok." Snow grabs her in a long, too tight hug. She stiffens in her embrace. Her  _ daughter _ .

"I'm fine. There was no need to wait up."

"Did he wine and dine you, m'lady?" Maleficent calls sarcastically from the other cell. "You can thank me, my hatred of you is part of the reason he loves you now."

Regina rolled her eyes, though what Maleficent said made sense. He thought Regina was good, reformed, and Maleficent's actions in court had shown that an evil sorceress disliked this "new" Regina. She had helped. Perhaps on purpose.

Regina turns to Snow. "We both want to find Merlin and he thinks we can help. If we can help, Maleficent and I will be pardoned."

Maleficent cackles from her cell, even as she has decided to rest on the floor of the cell. "How  _ wonderful _ ."

"If we don't find Merlin?" Snow asks timidly.

"You all are fine. Of course we —" pointing to Maleficent ",will be executed."

Maleficent laughs even harder, falling onto nearby hay "Oh he's a trip. Did he invite you to stay in a private room, as a lady shouldn't be in a dungeon?"

Regina raises an eyebrow. She was not going to give Maleficent the satisfaction of knowing she was right. Instead, she decided to finally address the fact Maleficent was the infamous Morgan. ' "I didn't know you were Morgan Le Fay in this realm. And I thought we were so close, you and I."

"Regina, Regina, my darling, I shut the door on this life when I left Camelot. I am not Morgan. Not anymore."

"What did she  _ do _ ?" Snow whispers.

Regina waved her hand passively "It's a long story. Maleficent, would you like to tell it?"

"Arthur blames me for his wife leaving him. I warned him, I warned him even before he married her. She was in love with someone else. But he wouldn't believe me, until he finally caught them together."

"That's all?" Snow asks, incredulously. "And he's supposed to be a hero?"

"Well, I reacted quite badly to the news of the affair. Obviously he was upset, but I was just as upset as he was."

"Why?" David asks, tone devoid of judgment. Just sheer curiousity.

Maleficent turns to Regina "And do you want to do the honors of telling them?"

Regina did  _ not.  _ Especially now, especially in front of Robin. Because the true story was the man Maleficent had loved and trusted dearly – the man who she begged Arthur to consider as one of his knights for the round table, the blonde haired, blue eyes, gorgeous Lancelot, had an affair with Arthur's wife.

Regina speaks hesitantly. "It's not my place to gossip on the past."

Maleficent lets out a puff of air, seemingly annoyed with the answer. "Well first, Guinevere….was a friend. Or, I thought of her as one. At one point in my life. And I saw the whole thing coming, how she looked at my betrothed, the man I had been destined to marry. I continued to deny it was happening. My Lancelot was so convincing when he would proclaim his love for me. But in the end…he'd rather bed the queen than a dirty witch. So anyway, I had a bit of a temper tantrum over it, you might say."

The room was silent. Regina looks at Maleficent with sympathy, almost a kinship, but this look was misinterpreted as mockery by Maleficent.

"And if you want to rub in the fact my lover left me for another man, I hardly think you're in the best situation, Regina dear. And how is your sister?"

Robin begins to speak in defense but Regina silenced him. "That was not my intention. It's just that...we're so much alike."

Regina also committed her greatest atrocities when she was heartbroken. Her descent to evil had happened so easily, all when the first love she ever had died when she was 17. The heartbreak of a 17 year old girl had fueled a thousand fires and killed so many innocents. Until now, she had not realized anyone reacted a similar way to heartbreak.

Regina knows the legend of Morgan Le Fay. She read extensively about it, without ever making the connection that this Morgan was her Maleficent. She read about the villages that were set on fire, the months of sheer terror she reigned down on Camelot. And it had all stemmed from the loss of a lover. So similar to Regina. They were the same.

"I suppose so...but we already knew that, little one." Maleficent responds quietly. Regina feels a rush of affection resurface for her friend. But the moment was soon gone.

"Anyway, when Arthur caught them he told me I should have known better, I was the best friend of Guinevere and the lover of Lancelot, I was this great witch, how did I not see it coming? Obviously I put everyone through hell for some higher plan. Obviously I was evil. He wanted me out of his sight. And then I had no family, no friends, and no one by my side."

"Except for Merlin."

Maleficent nods. "He tried. But he could not keep me from tipping into darkness. He wasn't enough. And I saw right through him. I knew he was only pretending to care about me to prevent me from losing control. So after I trapped Merlin and tortured Arthur for awhile, set his peasants and soldiers on fire, all of that business, it occurred to me that none of it was bringing me happiness. So I left Camelot. I only returned once, and I couldn't show my face. I never left my dragon form."

"Did you….kill Lancelot and Guinevere?" Snow asks tentatively.

Maleficent grimaces. "I could never kill him. Neither could Arthur. They are off somewhere on the edge of the kingdom, probably fat with four kids."

"Jesus, Mom, I'm so sorry." Lily wants to know her dad, she wants information, but she knew it wasn't the time or place. Her mother was not pure evil, things were not black and white anymore.

And then there was silence.

"I'm turning out the lanterns," Snow calls out, ",we should all get some sleep."

"Someone can help me with this corset or I will rip at it all night." Lily practically chokes out. Snow, Maleficent and Regina had experience with these dresses and the ridiculous corsets, but to Lily, hours in this dress had to be torture.

Snow's dress had a slip underneath for her to sleep in, as did Maleficent. But Regina's dress had no room for such clothes. She was bare save for her undergarments.

Regina would sleep in her dress (which, the stretch fabric of velvet made quite comfortable, to be honest, but she would loosen the corset back threatening to choke her in her sleep. She began to untie it, clumsily, as Robin stepped behind her. "Can I help?" She shook her head. She was very capable of undressing herself, thank you very much. Robin moved away, gave her the space she needed, and she slowly undid her corset, as she began to breathe easier.

Regina wanted to be strong, tell Robin to stay to the other side of the little cage they were in and let her just learn to live without him. But if we're granting wishes, she also wanted to just have a few moments where she could pretend the fate of everyone wasn't on her alone. But more than anything she wanted someone just to listen, someone tell her that everything would be ok, and to believe that person knows best.

"Are you headed to sleep?" Robin asks and Regina nods. She heads towards the straw mattress, saw Robin was still giving her space, not following her. If he didn't sleep with her Snow would notice, Snow would ask what happened between them. Regina is not ready to talk about it. She retreats to the small straw mattress on the far side of the dungeon. It is dark, and there are other prisoners fighting now over something, clanking and yelling. Snow whined loudly about the noise, but Regina is glad for the distraction.

She motions for Robin just a small wave of her hand beckoning him forward, and he complies immediately. Despite their imprisoned state, the simple act of requesting his presence seems to make him happy.

"Anything I can do?" he asks. But there's nothing, nothing can be done. She shakes her head, unsure of what she wants, what she needs to feel better right now.

"Anything at all?" because he can read her face, he knows something is wrong.

Regina pulls him into a tight hug, burrowing her head in her chest. The act appears to completely surprise Robin. She knows she is being unabashedly, unashamedly weak, but also knows he understands. He is Robin, afterall. He had calmed her down before, and perhaps that was what they did for each other as soulmates. Provided energy for the other when they were weak. Provided support.

She does not cry, she will not, but she will let herself soak him in and force herself to feel better in his arms.

Robin strokes her hair and whispers about how wonderful she is, how lucky everyone is to have her on their side, how he had so much faith in her. The words do nothing to alleviate her fears or worries, but they are nice to hear. She sinks into him further and breathes him in. She loves being close to him like this. Even if they cannot be anything more, they can be  _ this. _

After some silence, Robin's mood changes.

"Maleficent said Arthur has a thing for you, and he called you up there for…less than noble purposes"

Fucking Maleficent. Regina will deal with her later. She groans and breaks her embrace with Robin to sit and then lay on the mattress, nodding for Robin to join her.

There's silence and then Robin couldn't help himself. He presses on.

"When Arthur called you up there, did he…I mean did you…"

And suddenly he doesn't sound to terribly concerned with her wellbeing. Suddenly it sounds more like curiosity and fear – and she doubts it's, a fear for her safety and health. She's here, alive, without any visible wounds, without any tell-tale signs of being attacked – her dress is untorn, her body unbruised, and hell, if he was worried she'd been touched inappropriately, does he  _ really  _ think she'd let that happen without a fight?

"I'd be extremely careful when asking your ex-lover if she jumped into bed with the first man who showed any interest in her only moments after meeting him." She bites back, voice defensive and angry. It truly was a warning, because if he was going to ask her if she slept with Arthur, she was going to go lose it.

"I…I'm sorry, Regina, of course that's not what I'm asking. If he so much as touched you against your will, I needed to know so I could…"

Oh. She's still not used to this. To this trust in her good character. To someone who protects her, who worries excessively about men taking advantage of her, despite her power and her strength.

She meets his eyes to nod in understanding, and all she sees is pain. He looks like he had been punched in the gut.

"…What?" she asks in a softened tone.

"It's…ahh, nothing, truly." Robin says, but Regina only arches an eyebrow never breaking contact until he admits it. "You called me your ex-lover. It's a little hard to hear that, I'd rather not call us that."

"What would you like me to use instead?" It's a sincere question, though it does not quite sound that way. They were not dating right now. She didn't trust him enough to put herself in that situation. She knew they loved each other, but she doubted it was the kind of love that was enough to overcome any obstacle.

"Two people who are madly in love with each other who have chosen to remain celibate for now." Robin answers immediately. "Why can't we be that?"

She's somehow both sympathetic and annoyed. Robin is obviously still struggling with this, but he is pushing her at a very inopportune moment because  _ knows _ what they are. They are not a couple who have taken a celibacy pact, they are no longer a couple at all. They are no longer together because Regina is not strong enough, not healthy enough, to be a second choice.

She's never been first in someone's heart, less for Daniel. Her mother never even had a heart, her father's heart burned for her mother, despite everything, she knows he belonged to her. Rumple never cared at all for her. Leopold, even at the best of times, was very clear that he would never love her as much as he loved his own daughter. And then there is Henry, her son, whom she loves with all her heart. But he never loved her back the way she loved him. He reserved that love for others. First it was his school teacher, the irony of ironies that her son fall for Snow White. But then it was Emma, his  _ real  _ mom, as he told her, and Regina could never compete with that.

And now, she had a second chance of love, but it was with a man who would never place her first in his heart the way she would with him. Because he fell in love with the possibility of Marian over Regina. He loved a version of Marian that he admitted he did not connect to, did not love, did not quite trust. He loved that version truly, and deeply. All because the memories, the possibility of the Marian he knows being in there somewhere are so much more enticing than a broken, evil woman with a dark heart and a haunted past.

And so it cannot be love. At least, not the love she thinks Robin and she both deserve.

But she would take the love and comfort her gave her, even if it wasn't enough for a relationship. It was certainly enough for a friendship.

"I'm sorry." Regina apologizes. She loves him so. She hates for him to hurt. "You know it can't be that way."

He takes a deep breath in and shuts his eyes, wincing. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have asked about Arthur. This hasn't been easy for me."

Regina hums in agreement. "You're not alone in that. This has been pretty tough on me too."

Robin scowls. "I know, I'm sorry, I am supposed to be here to support and help and I keep doing the opposite. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I overreacted to the Arthur question. It was probably valid. Mal's right, he wants to sleep with me." She smiles at him when his face fell. "That's a good thing. He hasn't, and I don't think he's the type to force himself on me. But I can use his interest in me to help us. Without having to sleep with him."

"I see" Robin's response is a tentative one, and she knows he's not quite in support of such a plan.

"I don't have magic. I'm unfamiliar with this realm," Regina elaborates. "I don't know anyone with power, or magic in this realm. It's a very scary position to be in. And everyone's counting on me."

"You don't need magic or connections to win, Regina. You are incredibly resilient. You always find a way. But this isn't all on you, just because you're the strongest one of us. We all have an obligation to Emma, and if we fail, we all fail together. It won't be your fault."

She tenses at the mention of failure, and Robin must notice because he rushes to add, "we won't fail though. I know we won't. My gut is very rarely wrong and it says we're winning this. Your instincts are quite remarkable, and I trust you to do what is best while we're here. And I'll help you in any way possible."

She smiles now, and tells him thank you. Almost goes to kiss his lips, but remembers herself. Old habits.

Regina shifts her position, laying on her side and hooking his arm around her, so he was behind her, spooning her. The mattress is itchy, uncomfortable, but he was soft, he smelled nice and familiar and safe. Without thinking she let out a little satisfied sigh and wiggles against him, snuggling a bit closer.

And a moment later, she felt that unmistakable feeling on her back. Robin was…aroused behind her, even on this itchy mattress, in this dark dungeon, after everything they had been through.

"Robin!" She chastises, doing her best to sound appalled. But her voice sounds more amused than anything. Because frankly, his ablity to get hot in this situation is nothing short of comical.

Robin chuckles, burying his head in her shoulder. "I am so, so sorry, my mind is in utter turmoil right now, but my body keeps remembering that you are in my arms in a dress that looks...quite incredible and is half undone. And you made that sound. And that was unfair."

Regina laughs. She swats him playfully, and then spins back around. "Behave!" she warns, in a light voice that's somewhere between a giggle and an order.

"I can't. Maybe you should try being less attractive."

Regina grins turns to him yet again smiles, and kisses his cheek playfully. "Goodnight. Thank you for lightening the mood."

"That was exactly my intent, to lighten the mood. I've actually got a great idea to lighten the mood even more. Take your dress off, let me show you."

Her smile breaks into laughter then and for a second, she forgets she is in a medieval dungeon with the fear of execution and the life of her son on the line. For a moment, she forgets everything except that playful flirting she had not had since she was a teenager. It makes her feel happy, carefree, alive.

"I love you." She says the words out of nowhere, without time to rethink them, and realize saying those words was horribly unfair right now. The words spill out of her with no context, for no reason. For no reason other than she really, really does love him.

Maybe she doesn't like the idea of being his, of building a life together. At least, not when their love was so lopsided. Not knowing that he would trade her life for Marian's in an instant. Not when it seems she will never experience what Robin gave to Marian, though she has no doubt he would try, of course he would. And even if they are not destined for happily ever after, she loves him still, and she doesn't blame him for his feelings. He could not help them, afterall.

"I love you too," his voice is suddenly very solemn, his arms gripping her tightly. And then, after a moment, "Thank you." He kisses her right where her neck meets her shoulders. "I needed to hear that."

"Robin, I shouldn't have…" she starts.

"I know it doesn't change anything you said before about us" he interrupts, before she can say it herself. "I know, so you don't have to say it."

She is a loss for what to say in response to that, so she grabs his hand and squeezes it, and pulls his arm tighter around her. He feels warm and safe.

The fights between other prisoners in other cells slowly die down, and sleep comes for everyone much quicker.

Morning comes, and the Camelot guards round up the Storybrooke gang, minus Maleficent. They are taken to a changing room where baths and fresh clothes were waiting for them. A royal blue, slim fitted dress with a deep neckline was reserved for Regina. She smiled and rolled her eyes. Snow and Lily had far less exciting dresses.

"He likes you," Lily notices, when she saw the dress.

Regina nods. "Without magic I'm afraid I'm going to have to play along."

Snow giggles "It could be so much worse, Regina. He's just flirting shamelessly." She pauses for a second, as if realizing something. "Is Robin going to be ok with all this?"

Regina shrugs. "He is not an idiot. He will understand what is going on." And she hoped he did. She really did.

Robin and David are given time in a powder room, and a change of clothes.

From there they are escorted to the dining hall. Regina had hoped to find Maleficent there, but she was nowhere to be seen. Now she's worried.

.::.

She looks breathtaking.

Absolutely stunning.

She's dressed much differently than Snow and Lily, of course. The choice of dress, fabulous as it may look on her, is…  _ troubling.  _ It's a fine fabric, rich and expensive, with a scandalous amount of cleavage. Robin looks at David, who exchanges a knowing glance with him. Arthur was dressing her up, like a doll. Yet Regina did not seem to notice or care. Robin clenches his teeth and bites down the anxiety over this turn of events. If she is not bothered, he should not be, either. He smiles at her, offers her a little wink, determined not to mention the dress, or look like a jealous ex boyfriend.

The guards tapped the back of the chairs, ordering everyone to stand for their king. Arthur walks in, wearing simple britches and a plain button shirt. When he enters the room, he waves at everyone to sit down.

He's a curious man. His clothing suggests he wanted to be seen as a commoner, as down to earth, a man of the people. Yet, if he truly desired that, why were the guards instructed to make everyone stand when he enters a room? Why does he insist on sitting on something so elaborate, so ornate that looks more like a throne than a dining room chair? There was something insincere about this whole act.

Arthur is seated at the head of the table, with Regina at his right. He barely looks at anyone else the entire time he eats, blatantly staring at her.

There's something off about this man. Robin does not trust him.

.::.

"I trust this morning's accommodations were better than last night's?" Arthur asks directly to Regina with a smile, popping a grape into his mouth.

"Quite. Where is Maleficent?" Regina is prepared to fight for Mal's life if need be.

"Morgan doesn't need nice smelling oils and warm baths. A dragon likes her cave."

Lily growls lightly. Arthur smiled and toasted his glass to her playfully.

"She needs her breakfast, if she's going to help us in the search." Regina presses.

"Do we need her help,  _ really _ ?" Arthur asks, "because I saw your notes on Merlin and they are quite extensive. It seems you know what you are doing without her help. Is she that necessary?"

"She is. She and Merlin traveled to places alone together. There are no records of these places. What if he traveled back to one of those places, to hide out? And of course, I assume she is the only one to trap Merlin, that we know? If he's been trapped again, she will know how it was done, and presumably how to free him."

Arthur gives a relunctant nod. "You win then. Bring the dragon up for her meal. Our beautiful queen has made quite the point." Arthur reached out and grabbed her hand "Any more requests, milady?"

Regina had a thousand requests, namely  _ remove these cuffs  _ and  _ let us go free  _ and  _ punish the guard who took my only means of speaking to my son away from me. _ But she knows better than to ask for something too soon. "I'll let you know when I think of something" she says playfully.

Maleficent enters the room looking ragged. Regina is worried she might have been tortured, but she saw no wounds. Maleficent takes one look at Regina and snorts. Regina shoot her a look that clearly means  _ Shut up, play along _ . But it is useless.

"My dear brother, you are without a doubt the most predictable person on the planet."

"What has tickled you today my darling sister?" Arthur's voice is sarcastic and already defensive.

"Regina is exactly your type, I predicted that right away, but dressing her up in that outfit? Making her look like a cross between a cortisone and a princess? That is almost too obvious."

The boldness of the statement is enough to slightly embarrass Arthur, to send a rush of blood to color his cheeks. Regina knows well enough that this is a bad thing. A king could not be embarrassed in his own kingdom. But before he had a chance to banish her away, Regina spoke.

"Enough." Regina glares Maleficent, "I quite like this dress. Now, where would you have us look first?"

Maleficent smiles. "The bottom of a lake. It's a short hike from here, a good first stop. Shall we?"


	8. Chapter 8

The nightmares are getting worse. More realistic, more heartbreaking. Every family member, every person she loved, dying a bloody, senseless death. Henry crying out in pain, bleeding in front of her, while the author stood there, smiling. Every night, over and over. But there are other faces around her. Rumple kidnapping and torturing Hook, Snow dying at the hands of Zelena once, and at the hands of Regina another day.

If not for Regina, her dreams would be easy to decipher. There are clear villains on one side, torturing and killing her loved ones. But Regina is the only one in her dreams who both kills and sacrifices – the only person Emma woke up both hating and worrying about. It pushed her to doubt her visions, to give her more time.

But this is the last morning she will be able to rest without promising herself that she was going to kill Isaac. He couldn't live. Not when he was smiling in her visions, smiling as Henry sputtered and cried covered blood, his face contorted in terrible pain as she watched the life flow out of him. That was it. The world would be better without him – safer, more honest. Even if he wasn't going to kill Henry his death would be worth the peace of mind. Isaac was dying. Today.

She looks next to her in bed and sees Killian sleeping soundly. He trusts her too much to be a careful watchdog. He made this too easy.

She dresses quickly and checks the clock. 5:02 AM. She'd be out and back before anyone notices. She creeps out of the bedroom, sure to shut the door silently. And then she spins around to see Henry, already up, in the kitchen.

"HENRY?"

"Hi mom."

He's working on a glass of orange juice, still in pajamas, hair messy from sleep. He looks tired very tired, if the bags under his eyes are any indication.

"What are you doing up? It's 5 AM."

"It's weird I just…woke up. And I can't go back to sleep now. I thought maybe I'd cook you breakfast. Want waffles? Where were you going?"

"For a walk," she mumbles, "I just need some time alone."

Henry shakes his head, and jumps up from his stool. "No, you don't. Remember, time alone is bad for you." He adds, in his most pleasant voice, "so, do you want waffles?"

Emma's jaw clenches, and she bites down curses. This is her son, he's showing her concern, she should not be angry at him. It's not his fault. So she rubs a hand over her face, and wills herself to have patience. "Henry I understand your concern but I am used to being alone and being chaperoned 24/7 is making me miserable. Please, Henry."

But Henry is insistent, his voice stern and sounding much older than his 13 years. "Mom, let me take care of you."

He's so naïve. So unaware of the dangers facing him. Emma will be okay. He will not.

"I don't think you understand what is going on here. What I'm trying to protect you from. This is dangerous, and I can't keep pretending it's not."

"So protect me. Hang around me all the time and make sure I'm still alive." He's getting pancake mix out now, and a mixing bowl. "Don't leave me. That's not going to protect me." He opens the refrigerator and grabs a carton of eggs. "And I want you around. I don't have anyone else here to protect me. Everyone else is in Camelot."

Emma growls in frustration. Even in her state, she isn't going to be able to convince Henry she needs time alone, and she isn't going to rush out on him and hurt and scare him, either.

"Hot chocolate?" she offers. It is warm out, but what the hell? Henry nods graciously as Emma steps into the kitchen to make their favorite treat.

.::.

Since arriving, Arthur has gone above and beyond to make himself appear approachable, humble, and, in essence, no different from a hardworking peasant save for the crown he wore on his head. It is an act that Regina can see through all too well, of course. She sees that sense of entitlement and nobility hiding under the mas, though it was not yet clear why he felt he needs the mask to begin with.

However, despite his efforts to prove otherwise, this journey to find Merlin quickly reveals that Arthur is very much enjoying his royalty, and is not immune to a life of luxury and entitlement. The man insists in making the journey himself, telling his servants to prepare for a journey that should last approximately three weeks. When his servants announce that everything has been prepared for travel, he and his prisoners walk outside find a verifiable parade at his feet. A dozen or so guards, a cook, supplies loaded with various food items, luxury tenting equipment, and of course, his carriage.

Maleficent laughs, sneers even "God when I left you all you needed was a horse and sword, maybe some blankets. But now….are we journeying through the kingdom or going on a luxury camping excursion?"

"Maleficent!" Snow shouts, making her fact into a disapproving glare. Luxury camping would be a welcome treat for her of course.

"I do not require such luxuries," Arthur points to his head guard. "This will be a light journey."

"But my King, this is what you have typically request –"

Arthur's face turns red before he bites back. "Enough. I do not need the protection of dozens of guards and a carriage. This excursion may involve treacherous roads. Everyone on horseback."

"The prisoners cannot be given horses" one of the guards interrupts. "It is too dangerous, they could escape…"

Right. So the women would be walking in the ridiculous heels they were given. Wonderful.

Arthur agrees. "I only need my top three guards."

"I'm going to insist upon the carriage for supplies, in case there are any injuries on the journey…"

"Fine a  _ simple _ carriage. Not the ridiculous one you have loaded. Take the rest of the horses back to the stable. This journey cannot attract the attention of our people. Whoever has Merlin may be notified or forewarned."

Plans are modified so that it is now a carriage and three guards on horseback, plus Arthur, to make the journey. The prisoners are shackled and roped to the sides of the carriage, ensuring that this would be a slow quest indeed. Regina scowls, but bites down the words that threaten to spill from her lips. She wants to mock Arthur's idiocy, and while he certainly deserves it, such an act would potentially ruin whatever influence she may have over him.

But still. The prisoners should be on horseback. They should have dropped the carriage altogether. They should worry less about supplies because they have magic, god damn it, and can create a nice shelter when it is needed. Stupid, stupid Arthur. This is why things are better when she is in charge.

As she marches on she feels Robin behind her, offering a hand lightly on her back. Just to touch, to keep her steady. And then that hand sweeps down and reaches out to hand, squeezing lightly. And that's a question. An unspoken question, a moment of concern.

"Everything is fine, Robin," She answers, trying her best to believe her own words.

"Arthur is…interesting." He starts, and shit, not this talk again.

"Yes, and he finds me interesting as well," she says back, teasing him.

"I've noticed," he sulks, eyeing her up and down, ridiculous, form fitting dress and all. "You trust him?"

"I…trust that we're in no danger. This is the right thing to do, Robin. Even if it doesn't feel natural."

"It is rather odd obeying someone else's orders," Robin offers, making her laugh just a bit. "I had quite grown used to always obeying yours."

"I am learning to be a follower," Regina agrees, "too much is at stake to try to take over at this point."

"You already considered it?"

Regina looks at him as if he should already know the answer to that question. She waves her hand at the spectacle in front of them, the carriage and the guards.

"Robin, this is not how one travels to find a sorcerer who either does not want to be found or is being imprisoned by someone with obvious skill and serious connections. This is idiotic."

"So…?"

"I'll figure it out." She winks at him. "Make sure Snow and Charming aren't going to try anything stupid." He looks puzzled until she adds "They aren't idiots, they know this journey is a disaster already."

Robin walks to talk to Snow and David, while Regina moves towards Maleficent.

"We're almost there, my queen," Maleficent smiles, noting Regina's scowl. "Cheer up, my dear. Things could be worse. We could be hand in hand, burning at twin stakes by now."

And Regina smiles back, because no one else would find the image of an execution as comical as  _ her own _ Maleficent.

True to Maleficent's words, the first stop was not far from the castle at all. Maleficent had told Arthur the first location was Crystal Lake, the placid, beautiful lake at the bottom of the hill, with a lovely view of the castle from its waters. It was close enough that it did not take long to get there, even without horses, even with the stupid carriage.

The lake is truly gorgeous, a sparkling, light little piece of paradise framed beautiful old trees reaching out as if to try to touch the water. It was a place for picnics, for leaning against one of those old, beautiful trees and reading a book, sitting with a loved one, a place where children can use some of those over-reaching branches as a diving board, to run and jump into the lake. Everything was romantic and an adventurous and yet, somehow serene.

"You like it here, don't you?" Maleficent draws.

"I…how could I not?" Regina stammers back, "It looks like a place out of…"

"A picture," Maleficent finishes, "a beautiful, surreal picture. I knew  _ you _ would like it."

God, she looks so serene, so damn  _ happy _ . She hasn't seen her like this…well, it's been years. It's certainly not the face she'd expect to see on Maleficent while she's cuffed and shackled. A dragon, in particular, does not enjoy being caged.

But this is nostalgia, a happy memory she is stuck in right now, and from the looks of her face, the way she smiles and reaches out to her, it is a memory she had thought about sharing with Regina before this day.

"Now what?" Arthur asks impatiently.

"We need magic," Maleficent shrugs, "you'll have to uncuff me. Unless you and your guards can part the waters of the lakes?"

Arthur sneers at her. "You forget I have magic now, Morgan. You aren't special or needed anymore."

But he is a bit overconfident, it seems, because parting waters of a giant lake isn't as easy as one may think. Shifting into a dragon is not an easy task, for anyone, and Regina had assumed his powers were quite strong. Instead, shifting into a dragon may have been his  _ only _ worthwhile magical skill, because Arthur's brow is knit, his face red, a breath drawn in, his hands shake, and the waters barely ripple. He tries again, this time succeeding in parting the water for a bit before he loses focus.

Maleficent cannot look more smug.

Finally, with great concentration, Arthur succeeds in pushing the waters back — though his fingers shake and he sweats considerably, eyes bulging as it looks like he were holding considerable weight in each hand.

But it's odd, isn't it? Though Regina cannot transform into a dragon, she could pull back those waters with a flick of her hand on her worst day.

"W-w-what are we looking for?" Arthur's voice stutters brow knitted, looking like he is about to collapse.

"An entrance to the first place I ever hid from you," Maleficent responds smiling. "Right under your nose the entire time. How do you like that?"

"M-m-merlin knew?" Arthur's asks through chattering teeth, his knees looking like they were beginning to buckle.

"There's no time to talk about this, we have to just get into the door before you lose control of the waters." Regina interrupts, "You won't be able to hold it very long. Unless you trust me to help you."

Arthur seems to consider it, but his pride got the better of him. "I…have it. Just…rusty."

They walk down into the basin of the lake. Arthur's control is poor, and he is unable to completely part the waters, meaning they had to walk through several inches of water on the basin. This amuses Maleficent to no end. She takes out her canteen and fills it with the water they step in.

"I'm making memories of this lovely journey," She smiles to her daughter, then later winking at Regina. "How is it going, my dear brother?"

"W-w-where the bloody hell are we going?"

Maleficent walks ahead, much to the worry of the guards, and then stuck both hands in the water below feeling the floor beneath her until she found something and smiles. She pushes the sand away, and points to the earth beneath her. There is a small trap door in the middle of the sand, facing down. One would think opening it would lead to nowhere – perhaps just more of the sandy bottom of the lake. But when Arthur opens the door, beautiful, wooden steps are visible, and the warm light of an impeccably decorated room lay before them.

Water gushes in through the trap door, and Maleficent looks absolutely devastated at the water that may damage her secret home.

"Everyone in quickly before the place floods" Maleficent says, scowling at Arthur.

It's like so many of those elegant beach homes in resort towns in Maine, with drift wood type furniture and white, light blue and sea foam green colors. Maleficent had built herself a little retreat in the middle of Camelot. In the middle of a beautiful lake, surrounded by the oppressive castle that threatened to kill her.

Arthur enters the room last, and the second he shuts the trap door he released the waters with a sigh of relief. The water crashes over the roof of their little hideout with a giant  _ WOOSH _ and the sound of violent waves crashing together, water sloshing from above, teetering until it gradually calms.

And yet, the home is made well. Once the trap door is shut, not a drop of water seeps through Maleficent's little hideaway.

Maleficent turns her attention to the décor, turning over every random seashell and book end, every ornate glass vase, all the beautiful ceramic lamps. Things become downright peculiar as she begins to rub down the furniture, hands sliding over every inch of it. It is a curious dance, but Regina knows it well. She is trying to detect Merlin's presence. Mal wantd to know if someone had, effectively, been sleeping in her bed.

"This place is beautiful, mom." Lily gushes, admiring the way everything looked. 'I never pictured you in a place like this. It's so…homey."

Arthur agrees with Lily. He was staring around at this light, summery cottage, unsure of what to think. It was difficult to picture his sister in anything other than a darkened, damp cave.

"If you wanted to live at the bottom of the sea so much, you should have told me." He half-heartedly taunts. "Instead of being burned alive, how's being strapped to an anchor and thrown into the ocean?"

Maleficent is too absorbed in what she's found to give a snarky reply. "He's been here."

"Merlin?" David asks.

Maleficent nods. "I can sense him. His magic. But he may not have been here for years. Still, it wasn't much longer than that."

Maleficent raises a sympathetic eyebrow at Arthur and adds, "there's no sign or any indication of struggle, though."

Arthur seems to catch on, if the scowl is any indication. "Merlin has been missing for more than a few years. So what you are saying is…he hasn't been kidnapped?"

Maleficent shakes her head. "He's in hiding."

Arthur lets out a slow puff of air. "I could have helped him with anything, if he only asked."

"He's stubborn," Maleficent reminds him with a pointed look, "and he doesn't trust many people."

"Perhaps his lack of trust stems from your betrayal?" Arthur bites back defensively.

"Perhaps" Maleficent agrees with a devilish smirk, "But we are in the same situation either way. And he's using my hiding places." That smile goes downright prideful, and Regina can understand why. She was allowed to be satisfied with herself, especially knowing that Merlin, the greatest sorcerer she had ever known, felt her hiding places were secure enough to use.

"So where is the next closest hiding place?" Robin asks, clearly impatient to get this trip over with.

"My tree fort," Maleficent smiles broadly. "Part the waters, Arthur dear. We need to get out.

But it is even more difficult to part the sea from below, and Arthur barely had a handle on this magic to begin with. He tries again and again, and even without being able to see the waters above, it is clear from the very  _ lack  _ of sound from above that his attempts are in vain. On the eighth attempt, Lily audibly groans, and Maleficent can barely contain her joy. And Regina? Well she is frustrated. And impatient.

"Let me help you." Regina holds her cuffed wrists up, with a simple plea.

Again, Arthur looks conflicted. He did not want to remove the only thing preventing her from having full access to magic, but he was fighting a losing battle with the parting sea, and without her help, they'd be stuck here, god knows for how long.

Regina sees the uncertainty in his face and immediately sees it for the chink in the armor it is. It's a way out. It's a way to get her powers back.

"You've seen my son. You know what's at stake for me. I want to find Merlin every bit as much as you. I have no reason to betray you, or leave you in this quest. If I don't find Merlin, my life may as well be over. Take away the thing that is handicapping me and let me help."

Arthur remains unconvinced. Regina remembers that his guards are still outside the lake, watching. The three guards could part the waters and probably would as soon as they realized something was amiss. It is only a matter of time before he came to his senses and chose that option – one with less risk, less chance of turning the Evil Queen free.

So she had to act fast. And offer him every reason to give her magic back.

"You don't have to let me out of your sight," Regina reminds. "I'll stay with you, every moment, so you don't have to worry." Regina sees Robin flinch out of the corner of her eye, but she makes the decision to ignore it. Now is not the time. He was going to have to trust her.

And that seems that her words had sealed the deal. Wordlessly, Arthur removes her cuffs.

.::.

The second her cuffs are removed, a smile spreads across Robin's face before he could think to remove it. Thank  _ god _ , this is the end of traipsing around Camelot under Author's control. Regina will take her unleashed powers and cremate this sorry excuse for a man, and then they can hunt down Merlin with Regina and Maleficent leading the charge (he's a leader, has been all his life, but part of being a leader is knowing when not to lead. The two women are best equipped to lead this venture, he knows it, feels it).

This entire trip has been bloody amateur hour from the second Arthur took control and he won't support this man running their very serious operation into the ground. He's a terrible leader, and Robin cannot wait for this coup to start.

But there is no bold act, no sudden burst of magic to capture Author and his men. Instead, Regina parts the waters easily, and they walk out of the lake house silently.

"What is she doing?" Robin asks in an aggravated whisper, to no one in particular. He cringes at the volume of his voice (he never quite mastered hushed tones). He doesn't want to draw attention from the guards.

"Exercising caution," Maleficent whispers back from behind him. He turns to the dragon, but her eyes are on Regina looking at her with…admiration. Pride. "This takes a lot of self control. Something I thought wasn't in her."

He watches her as she carefully trudges along. He's so confused, has no idea what she has up her sleeve. But he can't help but feel a little pride, looking at her, untethered, acting restrained. He didn't know what she was up to, what sort of game she was playing. But he had a feeling she was playing it well.

And she would win.

.::.

It's absurd. Behaving as if Arthur has control in this situation is nothing short of laughable.

Now that his magic has been revealed for what it is (weak, unskilled, ignorant) Regina knows she can easily overpower him. However, the one gift he has – what made him a good sorcerer at all – was the same thing that made him a good fighter. Arthur has lightning fast reflexes. And that was an area where Arthur could best Regina. It's the reason she ever wore cuffs at all.

She can easily best him in a sneak attack, or probably one-on-one. But there are three guards with magic and five other people she cares about who could be potentially injured by one false move. There are sadly, simply too many people at stake to risk attempting a power struggle just because it is incredibly frustrating to not be in charge. Plus even if she does manage to overpower everyone, an entire kingdom will be after them, only making her search for Merlin more complicated.

So as much as she wants to, it isn't worth it. She had to go against her very instincts and follow this king, like an obedient doll. She felt her former, teenage felt her old self slipping back into action. The person she was before she found out how strong she was. The person she was when she was afraid to disobey her mother. The person she was when she was another king's little toy. She fought back those memories and reminded herself that this time, her weakness would be her strength

He looks worried.

He's talking to Maleficent, and seeing the two of them sharing words scares her. She's not sure what the two of them would share, and what would they say about her, should she come up in the conversation?

Would Maleficent taunt him for fun, play to his fear, just to pass the time and avoid boredom?

It seems like a very Mal thing to do, afterall.

She quickens her pace at that, before her fears can get out of control.

God, she does not want him to be hurt.

When she's within an arm's length she reaches for him, almost desperately, and grabs his forearm. A quick touch, meant to ease his mind. Maybe convey that she has this. He looks back at her, and gives her a forced smile.

There's no time to fix this. She'll take the forced smile, and trade one in return.

.::.

When they return to the horses and wagon, Arthur orders Maleficent to give the guards directions to the next location.

"Come now your majesty." Arthur urges, motioning her to his carriage. It is just a simple carriage, made for peasants, certainly not a place for comfort. But it was covered, private, and would only hold the two of them. For a second Regina stood still, her body tensing at the thought of becoming the plaything of yet another King.

Arthur holds his hand out again, his tone turning more impatient this time, as he calls to her again.

Robin takes a step forward, and the slight movement shocks Regina into action. There will be no brave stances over being asked to sit next to Arthur in a carriage. That will turn into a fight, and will bring injuries, death, and other unfortunate things that will be no help in finding Merlin.

She looks toward Robin, catching Snow's worried face in the background, gives a slight smile and turned back to Arthur. Regina holds her hand out to have him help her into the carriage, fighting back a flash of her time with Leopold, to times when she had to enter a much more grand carriage against her better judgment.

This is a better looking, more pleasant version of Leopold, but the similarities were frightful. In exchange for power, she had given up privacy and quite a bit of freedom, just as she had when she married Leopold. She turns around to close the carriage door and, hoping to convey all the confidence and control she wishes she had, nodding at Snow and Robin before it shuts.

Her small action fails to wipe the concerned looks off their faces.

They are concerned, probably (understandably) confused by her actions. Still, if Snow had a lick of sense in her, she would realize that Regina plans her actions carefully when necessary, Regina plays the part of an obedient woman quite well, until the time has come to shed that mask. Snow should know what Regina was doing, in fact there is no one who should know what she is doing  _ more  _ than Snow, so why did she insist on being so stupid?

Maybe Snow  _ does  _ know what is going through Regina's mind. Maybe she just does not think Regina was handling this correctly.

The fate of  _ good _ people rested on Regina's shoulders now. The heroes. If heroes lost, it will somehow be Regina's fault all over again.

Regina shuts the door to the carriage with that heavy thought, ripping her eyes from Snow's worried stare. She turns to sit in the carriage and finds that Arthur does not pull her close, and does not immediately feed her orders or requests. She breathes a sigh of relief. This is ok. This is tolerable.

He's not Leopold.

"You should put my people on horses," she proposes to Arthur, seeing kindness in his eyes, giving her the courage to ask for this small request. "I can transport three or four from the stable and make them appear right here. Maleficent has many hiding places. We will work quicker on horseback. My people won't leave me. I can assure you of this."

Arthur hesitates for a moment and then nodded, and with a  _ poof _ , four horses appear.

Regina smiles as she heard Snow loudly yell a "Thank you, Regina!" from outside.

At least Snow can recognize her magic, after all these years.

Arthur called to the guards, asking them to tie the horses together and put the prisoners on them, so they can reach the destinations faster. The guards were not used to prisoners being granted horses, and seemed skeptical at the whole arrangement. Still, as good servants, they listened to their king and asked no questions.

"So" Arthur says, after a few minutes on the road. "The archer is in love with you."

It's a casual statement, definitely  _ not _ a question.

Regina rolls his eyes. "That's a very complicated situation you've picked up on."

"So you know he loves you?"

"We were together for a time, if only briefly. A problem with timing, I'm afraid."

"Together, with him?" Arthur asks incredulously. Arthur had noticed the glances Robin had made at Regina, the way he looked at her, his instinct to protect her when he sensed fear. He had detected something in Regina, picking up on her favoring Robin, looking at him as if she fancied him, and it had interested Arthur. He wondered if she was attracted to the simple man, void of riches. Perhaps that was more attractive to a woman that had everything. But Arthur had not thought Regina had anything more than a fleeting attraction to this thief, in fact he had not considered the possibility that Regina and Robin had ever had a relationship. In his mind, she was highborn, and he was a peasant. Regina seemed light years above a commoner.

"I have never needed a man for wealth and power," Regina reminds with a wry smile, "I create my own wealth and power."

"But this courtship with the archer…is over?" Arthur asks. And it is obvious why he cares though Regina paid little attention to his advances. He is harmless.

"It is." Regina confirms, shuddering a little, as she gives the first verbal acknowledgement that her relationship is truly over. Her voice softens, and she lets down her walls if only a bit. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Arthur seems to understand. "Because you still care for him."

"I do," Regina admits, "other than my son Henry, I…I don't think I care for anyone more."

"You're going to tell me this story one day, about how the archer was somehow blessed with you, and somehow mucked it all up."

"Perhaps some other day. I will say this: it was not his fault. Not that it makes things any easier."

Arthur nods. "So you say. I will take adequate notes and tell the tale of his idiocy for all the world to hear."

She gives herself permission to laugh, because for a second it felt nice to be flattered, to have a stranger not equate her with vile awfulness, to not feel the oppressive burden of not being good enough for Robin. Someone who actually would think the opposite, as wrong and ridiculous as that might be.

.::.

Outside the carriage, Snow and Charming's bring their horses next to Robin's. Snow shoots him a look that is incredibly discerning, and he realizes he must look as miserable as he feels.

"You know what she's doing, right?" She finally asks in some weak attempt to sooth Robin. It is clear he was thinking about Regina, replaying her walking into the king's carriage with that look on her face. The way she was responding to the king's flirtations the whole day. The way she had gotten into that carriage.

"She knows she can defeat him, but Regina…she works best when she has a plan. She's playing along for awhile. I mean, you can't really think she has a thing for Arthur, or that she's acting on it. She would not do that to you. She's playing this out for everyone's best interest. It'll all be over soon."

"She's free to do what she likes." Robin responds bitterly, breaking whatever vow of silence he was supposed to have over the matter. "We are not together anymore."

"Why not?" Snow cries out, shocked.

"None of our business." David reminds Snow, nicely.

"Be quiet David." Snow slaps her hand flippantly in David's direction, as if he were an annoying pest interfering with her very important task. Her very important task to uncover gossip relating to the private life of her stepmother.

Because that worked out so well the first time.

" _ Why not _ ?" Snow asks Robin again, sounding generally concerned.

"Zelena ruined everything." Robin groans, continuing to look at the road ahead of him.

"I thought you guys worked that all out!" Snow gasps, "I mean you were just throwing around 'I love you' 's in the diner…."

"NONE OF OUR BUSINESS," David proclaims, clearly not wanting to take any part in the increasing private conversation on the queen's love life, his ears red as he refuses to look Robin in the eye. . His relationship with her must be strange, between being caught up in the odd situation between her and snow, and the memories he has of her during the first curse, well…. Perhaps he is not comfortable hearing about the queen's lovelife

Still, Snow and Robin ignore him.

Robin is eager to speak about something, but unclear how to start. He clears his throat, runs his hands through his hair nervously, then clears his throat again. He is going to tell Snow what is going on against his better judgment. It might not be what Regina wants, but damnit, none of this is what they wanted.

"Before we left Regina went through Zelena's things. There were…these memories. Trapped in some vial. Memories of me and the person I thought was Marian.  _ Intimate  _ moments with the person I thought was Marian." Robin looks straight ahead, squaring his jaw, attempting to remain emotionless, but he's broken by this and doing a poor job of hiding it.

Snow's expression changes from confused to worried. "Oh god, is she ok? That must have been devastating."

David groans "She's fine, this is Regina, not some delicate flower."

"She is fine." Robin concedes, turning to David with a nod. "But it did hurt her terribly. She's strong but when it comes to heartache…it hits her hard."

"She has to understand the situation you were in, though." Snow offers. "I mean, you thought it was your wife, of course you were going to treat her as such."

"But it wasn't my Marian, and I knew something was off. Still, I ignored those feelings telling me to run away and I stayed. I pushed myself so hard to love her, to treat her as I thought I should. It never came easily, acting a way I didn't feel….but in those memories, I must admit, I was quite convincing."

"That's probably why Zelena saved those exact moments."

Robin nods. "It doesn't matter. Even if it was Marian back from the grave, it was too late for us. I had already fallen in love with Regina. I felt so obligated to Marian, I forgot how unfair it was to pretend to be in love with someone when you are not. It was unfair to Marian, and certainly unfair to Regina."

"Did you tell Regina that?" David inquires.

"So far she hasn't accused me of being a liar, but if I tell her the truth on this…it sounds very much like a flimsy excuse. I'd be admitting to lying about feelings to the woman I thought was my wife. It's a very vile thing. Admitting this to her might make her hate me, even if she does believe me."

"I've always believed that being honest is best" Snow cheerfully reminds..

"I have as well. At least I did before my life became so complicated." There was silence between the trio for a bit and Robin added "Just as an aside, I absolutely hate this king."

Snow laughed. "He's a charmer" And then she acknowledges, in a slightly lower voice, "this can't be easy for you."

"I deserve it." Robin grimaces.

Such words clearly disagree with Snow, who shakes her head  _ no  _ vigorously several times.

"Robin, no you don't. Do you think she's punishing you? I can't imagine after all the progress she's made she'd –"

Robin slowly pats his horse, looking for a distraction. "No, she's been quite sincere about not wanting to hurt me, and making sure I don't…blame myself. This isn't a punishment. I've punished myself, and her, for the both of us."

David speaks up, struggling out a cough. "Robin what you went through was unbelievably unfair and cruel. I cannot imagine losing my wife…twice, and to…I don't want to rehash everything. Just know we understand this can't be easy for you. Regina isn't the only one who suffered."

Robin silently agrees, refusing to look at David or Snow, his eyes fixated on the path ahead. "She knows that. She does. She hasn't been cruel to me at all. She's been wonderful, actually. But she wanted to step back and be friends after Zelena shared those memories, and I didn't respond well to the offer."

There is silence as Snow and David searched for something to say.

"Well it's hard being friends with someone you love. But all of this is temporary. I know you guys. You're soulmates. You're like us. You're going to find your way back to one another." David's words are measured and steady, but cool and detached.

Robin chuckles. "You are a lovely woman, but no one is like you and your Charming. Certainly not us. The soulmate prophecy is not appealing to me. I've always liked knowing that we were together because we chose each other. But of course that means we can make another choice." He sighs, studying the reigns in his hands. "I don't want to lose her."

"You won't," chirps Snow, her voice light and full of hope. "Trust me, I know about these things. Just give her some time. She hasn't had an easy life when it comes to love. She just needs to work this out."

Robin nods, his eyes fixated on the carriage door, as he wondered what conversation was going on inside.

.::.

In a short time Maleficent told the guards to stop, pointing towards a large, old oak tree.

"Here" she announces, pointing to the tree.

Arthur steps out of the carriage, looking surprised for a second. "What do you mean, here?"

Regina bit back a smile as she used her magic to reveal the hidden door concealed by magic, in the trunk of this large oak tree.

The inside opens to a rustic palace with a spiral staircase leading up, up, to a small bedroom with wooden floors, walls and ceilings, and further up onto a roof, amidst the treetops. There, amongst the leaves, smelling of wood and earth, the entire world felt peaceful and innocent.

"It's…beautiful" Lily beams, looking around her. "This is design is so creative"

"I was young," Maleficent admits with a smile, and she was almost downright  _ giddy. _ "There are secret passages."

She's moving an old painting to show her daughter the tunnel behind it, and there is laughter.

Arthur is looking around, as if mesmerized. It takes him awhile to choke out some flimsy sarcastic comment to his sister about her tree fort. Regina hears herself in his voice. He was seeing a new side of Morgan, finding it tough to reconcile with the person he thought he knew.

"I'm going to check out the roof," Arthur announces, holding out a hand to Regina. She considered protesting for a bit (really she was safe under the watchful eye of three guards) but she decided not to fight it, and joined him.

The roof is up a long spiral staircase, and it made her dizzy to continue up until they reach the top, where a small door leads outside to a gorgeous roof. The rest of the house looks more like a rustic cabin, but this, this roof makes it a tree fort. Hidden above the tree tops, the roof gave a clear view to the lush forest below and the sky above. There is a hammock, a built in picnic style table and chairs, what appears to be a firepit (is that safe, in a house built of firewood?). Wooden railings surrounded the patio-style roof, and Arthur immediately walked up to the edge and leaned against the railing, staring off into the setting sun.

"For someone who claims to hate Camelot so much, my sister did pick a place with a perfect view of the kingdom" Arthur teases fixated on the incredible view before them.

"Mal appreciates beautiful things," Regina points out with a wry smile. "It's clear she appreciated your kingdom's beauty."

"The Morgan I know appreciated destruction and death, not beauty" he mutters softly.

Regina hums a response, her eyes fixated the landscape in front of her. He was wrong, he knew he was wrong. But she need not point it out. He knew.

He draws closer to her, and she doesn't fight it. It is beautiful here, and she appreciates the moment of pristine silence, with the sun beating down on them, weak breeze blowing, and Arthur's gentle presence.

It is moments before a guard comes to alert Arthur that a thorough search of the home revealed no visible of evidence of Merlin. Maleficent had once again noted his presence, and the fact he had actually stayed there sometime after her "lakehouse".

They make camp that night, after a quick dinner of salted cured meats, some crusty bread, and a dessert of some plums. No sooner had they received their ration of the meal then Arthur was motioning Regina wordlessly away from the campfire, far enough removed that it was dark and cold, and quiet.

For a moment, a hint of anxiety runs across her as she wonders what he is planning to do her, and then, no, Arthur wasn't like  _ that _ . There was nothing to fear, afterall, she had magic. If he provokes her, he'd be gone, before he could even think fast enough to change into dragon form.

However, Regina felt increasingly stifled by Arthur's companionship, which was bordering on clingy at this point. He is deliberately preventing her from engaging in any conversation or time alone with her group, merely by insisting he be near him, on the farside of the campfire, where it was colder and darker.

Regina shudders. "I'd prefer we dine a little closer to the campfire." She starts

"Now where's the romance in that?" Arthur grumbles with a wink.

Regina pauses for a moment. "Arthur, I agreed to keep close to you, but I didn't agree to—"

Arthur holds his hand up. "No no, Regina. Of course not. That's not why I brought you here." He removes her stone – the purple stone she used to communicate with her son – from a pocket in his trousers. "I thought you might want—"

Regina accepts eagerly. "I do, more than anything. Thank you."

Arthur will not let her hold the device on her own, which is mildly frustrating. But not worth an argument.

Henry was fine, he still worried about Emma, Emma was a terror in the morning, was apologizing by dinnertime, and he wondered how long this would keep up. Henry wouldn't tell Regina that he had trouble sleeping, that he had now taken it to waking up at 3 AM to make sure Emma was still in the house and hadn't left. He wouldn't tell her anything to worry her too much, because he knew his mother, he knew both of them. They both didn't behave very well when they were worried about him.

Regina asked about Roland, and was pleased that Henry had taken it upon himself to check in on him daily.

"He doesn't know what's going on, mom. Tuck and John are teaching him how to make a proper fire. They told him once he makes one using only two sticks rubbed together, and can keep a fire going a whole night, he can set an arrow on fire and shoot it." He laughs.

"That's not going to happen. You tell them he touches a flamed arrow and I have a fireball for them when I come home."

Henry laughs. "I don't think Roland's going to keep a fire going for any amount of time, mom. He's a little kid and he gets bored fast. He hasn't even started a fire yet. But he is so proud when he sees smoke!" Henry laughs. His face grows more serious for a bit. "He misses you guys though. Asks about you and Robin every time I see him." Henry pauses. "I told him about this device. I told him to keep it a secret. I told him I could talk to you both, I know I haven't seen Robin, but I…"

"No Henry, you did the right thing. I…I may be able to talk to you every night, around this time. Maybe Roland could be there?" Her eyes flashed to Arthurs, who looked at her amused, shrugs and nods. Henry couldn't see him, he was behind where the stone was projecting her, but Henry could clearly tell his mother was not alone, and with someone she didn't trust.

"Sure mom. We should all be eating dinner together anyway. Getting used to being brothers, right?"

Oh. Well this is an awkward moment.

Her eyes rise to Arthur's again and Henry sees her eyes moving to a place on the screen he can't quite see. Henry recognizes she is not alone, and she's not sure how to answer with the company she's with. Perhaps her relationship is supposed to be a secret, he thinks.

"I mean, he feels like a brother after everything we've been through, don't you think?" He pauses for a moment, sees her eyes soften and her head nod. Then he adds "I miss you, mom." He says, to dull whatever worry or anxiety he has unintentionally placed in her direction.

"I miss you too, so so much. My little prince."

"I'm way too old for that name now, Mom." Henry begs, rolling his eyes with a smile.

"Not to me you aren't.

The conversation ends soon after, and she put the stone down, thoughts focused on Henry and Roland. She was increasingly seeing Henry as resilient – moreso than many of the full grown men in Storybrook. She trusted Henry's instincts. But Roland…she worried about Roland.

The Merrie Men treat him with kindness and love, like he is their own personal mascot, so it did not surprise Regina that he was being surrounded by all of them now that Robin was away. During the year she was separated from Henry, when the Wicked Witch had devastated the town, Robin's men had been fiercely incredibly protective of Roland, so dedicated they felt Roland needed special protection from the Evil Queen, and that meant interactions between Regina and Roland in public were limited, with Tuck or John or Tom always pulling the boy away from her, urging him back to their group, avoiding her.

Ultimately they had not been successful in keeping the boy from her, and though this fact provided some of the only happy times she had in that year, it worried her that Roland, as young as he was, was so easily able to escape from under their watchful eye to wander the castle and find her. She had expressed this worry to Robin when Marian was frozen and the men had resumed their babysitting duties, but he had laughed it off, saying boys would be boys and that Roland knew better than to run off somewhere unsafe.

But he is just a boy. A clever, adventurous boy. And those Merrie Men…behaved more like teenagers than Henry did.

She breathes in, attempting to reign in her worry, focus on finding Merlin.

After their conversation ends, Arthur pockets the device.

"I trust everything is well at home, your majesty?"

"Not by a long shot, but it is as well as to be expected." Regina responds.

"The boy your son referred to, he is the son of the Archer?"

Regina nods.

"His mother?"

"That's not your business," Regina notes pointedly.

Arthur shrugs. "I find your lives…interesting."

"His mother died."

Arthur nods, and Regina holds her breath for him to ask more, but he must have decided it wasn't worth pressing.

Arthur turned to the closest guard, the one who had followed them, the one who standing nearby, remaining silent so as not to intrude. He was special, Regina realized, he was probably his most trusted guard.

"Percival," Arthur calls. The man who must be called Percival approaches quickly in response to his call. "The Archer, bring him here."

Regina's eyebrow raise, but in the dark he could not see her surprised and cautious reaction.

"You should tell him that his son is okay, shouldn't you?" Arthur presses.

"I'd appreciate the opportunity to do so in private." She utters.

"As long as you have magic I cannot imagine letting you out of earshot" Arthur counters, a smile on his lips.

"And I assume Percival will also be hearing this conversation?"

"Percival is not just a guard. He is my knight. My most loyal knight. He would never betray any trust. All my men have strict instructions to not speak to you or engage you without my permission. Why, will this conversation be particularly….intimate?"

Regina rolls her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "I prefer to discuss matters of family with…the family only."

When Percival returns with Robin, Arthur told him to guard the remaining prisoners and leave them. Percival was uneasy with this situation and did so at Arthur's insistence.

"Regina, what's going on, is everything alright?"

Regina grabs his hand with a thin smile. "Everything is fine. Remember the device I brought with me…to keep in touch with Henry?"

Robin twitches. "I thought…the knights took it?"

"Arthur took it with him. I just used it to talk to Henry. He's fine. He saw Roland, and Roland is doing well. The Merrie Men have him learning how to make camp, and he's enjoying himself." Robin looked as if he was about to cry, and Regina knew he needed to hear this even though they had only been away two days. "He's had such a hard few months, Robin, I worried he would react badly to you being gone so soon after…everything. But he's well-adjusted and well loved, and thoroughly distracted from this mess."

Robin nods flinching at the strong gaze from Arthur. This moment was not made for his eyes and ears. Robin wanted to reach for her, hold her, tell her he loved her and he loved how much he cared for her boy. But he would not open up in front of Arthur. He would not show an emotional, vulnerable side in front of an enemy. He hardened his face, solidifying his resolve to remain detached.

"I shared your concerns, but I trusted my men. Thank you, Regina." He turns to Arthur "I suppose I should be grateful for this act of kindness. Though, you still are the one holding us captive, so you won't mind if I skip on the niceties."

Arthur grins. "Indeed. I can't imagine I'll see much in the way of gratitude from  _ you _ , given the circumstances." Arthur's turns his gaze to Regina and raises his eyebrows.

It was a telling statement, and for a second, Robin looks dumbfounded, no doubt wondering how his emotions for Regina had been so easily detected. He turns to Regina and he  _ sees _ her, sees through , blank, emotionless. And he knew. She had probably said something to Arthur about them, about their relationship. Rage overwhelmed him, not rage at being betrayed, but rage at the mere fact that Regina had trusted this vile king enough to share a private part about herself. Something she did for so very few people, people she trusted, people she loved. Robin stared at her, giving her a look that masked hurt and pain in confusion and anger, shook his head and walked off.

Regina rolls her eyes at Arthur. "Was that necessary?"

Arthur still has that same amused smirk on his face (god she wants to wipe that smirk off his face).

"Couldn't help myself. Come now, time to return to the campfire."

There isn't tenting equipment for everyone, but of course there is a tent for the King. As the guards take their places around the campfire, small blankets scattered to be used for everyone around the fireplace, Arthur ushers Regina to his tent.

Nope.

Not happening.

She pulls his arm from her forearm, looking at him with cold dark eyes. "I hope you're not expecting me to sleep inside your tent, King." Regina snarls. This is the line, and this is worth it. It is worth risking all of them being destroyed by a fire-breathing dragon.

Of course her outburst loses her the element of surprise, for all the guards are alert now, spread out around her, and this is going to be a tough battle indeed.

But Snow and David and Robin are standing up too, prepared to fight for her with hands, whatever. Maleficent is peering from beyond the fire, looking excited, like she anticipates some minor explosion to occur

"You did promise I could keep an eye on you all night…" Arthur begins.

"Nowhere in our agreement did I agree to being your whore."

Arthur laughs. "Regina, I have no such plans for you." He opened the large tent flap to show two separate areas of bedding "I won't even touch you. It's just, as long as you still have magic…"

A guard spoke up then, a young, blonde haired, blue eyed, innocent looking fellow –somewhere between the age of a boy and a man. He was a teenager, no more than 18, possibly as young as 16. But he must be powerful, to be one of the select few chosen to guard the King from an Evil Queen. "Your majesty," the young guard said, in a waivered voice, nodding towards Regina. "We should cuff her for the night."

"Oh go cuff yourself" Regina barks, "if there's an attack on us by whoever Merlin is hiding from, you all WANT me on your side. I know you have magic, but whoever Merlin is hiding from must be able to take all of you in an instant. At least with me we stand a chance."

Arthur silences the guard with a wave of his hand. "I hope you would know better than to question the judgment of your king, dear boy."

"Of course. It is only that I fear we need to separate them" he ponders softly, looking at Maleficent. "They are dangerous."

Arthur strokes his chin thoughtfully in reply.

Snow pleads her case immediately, something about Regina's noble change from sinner to saint, an inspiring, sickly sweet account of Regina's transformation that Regina herself couldn't listen to with a straight face. The second guard interrupts, a handsome man, older, more distinguished, but still athletic and muscular. He is, of course, doubtful that someone as dark as Regina can ever make her way into the light, something about it being more likely Snow had been corrupted. David and Robin speak in Snow's defense, while Arthur listens – or pretends to listen, all the while never taking that amused, faint smirk off his face.

Regina wants to smack him repeatedly until that smirk disappears. But that's not an option, so she takes in a deep breath instead, trying to stop her mind from vividly imagining the destruction she wanted to inflict on  _ everyone _ right now, because she knows it would be easy, so easy to start, but there will most likely be a casualty, at least one, one of her people. And one of the guards is standing an arm's length from Snow, and Percival actually has a hand a hair's width from Maleficent. She can't act quickly enough, especially now that she lost the element of surprise.

She's never liked being forced to follow orders, hated it as a child, hated it as a wife, and she hates it even more now. Still, she swallows down the urge to fight and looks to Robin. He knows better than to talk, to say anything in defense of her, but he's boiling, red with anger – whether it's anger at her, the situation, or Arthur, she doesn't know. Probably a little of each. But when he looks back at her, catching her glance, his eyes soften a bit. His hands are still clenched tightly at his sides, but he's looking at her with something, love, longing, concern….something that calms her, soothes her.

No, she would not take over this camp. It is too dangerous, too risky. There were too many lives at stake. Lives she regrettably cares about.

"Enough!" Regina commands.

The camp goes silent at her shout.

Yep, still got it.

"If sleeping in that tent will get everyone to shut up and rest, then I am more than happy to comply." Regina makes her way into the tent, swallowing down the part of dinner that threatened to come up.

Arthur is behind her. "I have to apologize," he whispers, "I did insist on quite a small crew to voyage with me, and they are afraid you will set free Maleficent. The stories of her power…well, I vowed to keep you separated. In this tent they can guard the entrance, feel safe that you are inside."

Regina laughs. The guards thought her weak, that Regina's magic could only be dangerous if it was used to free Maleficent. It was somewhat good to be underestimated.

"I did not think sharing a tent this large, with bedding this separated would cause such an issue. Tomorrow we will do things differently. I never intended to upset you like this."

"I am not a queen anymore" Regina reminds, and her voice was edgy "I will never again cater to the whims of a King."

Arthur's face falls, and then there was silence. "Was he cruel to you, your husband? We always hear he was a kind and caring ruler."

Regina rolls her eyes. "Yes, so kind. Everyone knew him as kind." She left out "- _ except me _ " but the message was clear.

Arthur looks tender, almost sympathetic. "Was that what made you turn to dark magic?" he wonders, and he was genuinely interested.

Was it? Regina thought. No, it was losing Daniel. It was her mother's dark influence. It was the thousand little things Rumple said every day. And it was being married to a husband who cared nothing for her but kept her for his own like some caged possession. It was not just one of those things, but all of them, together.

"No." she concedes, choosing the simplest response to the question.

Arthur wants to ask more, she saw his mouth open, his eyes pouring over her for answers to questions she did not have – but he stops, seemingly aware that now was not the time.

"We aren't taught redemption is possible for sorcerers," he said simply. "My men cannot be convinced you have changed because it goes against everything they have learned."

It isn't the time for such a discussion, late, in a place that feels too intimate. "And you? Do you agree with what you've been taught about evil sorcerers?"

Arthur sighs, his jacket and boots were already off, he was removing his shirt now, making Regina instantly avert her eyes.

"I'm not sure." He admits, offering just as little an explanation as Regina had offered him.

Regina wills herself to sleep, furious and frustrated and worried all at once. Arthur never straightens from his edge of the tent, turning away from her.


	9. Chapter 9

Emma has the same dream that night. The same dream every night, with more colors, more details, all coming together in pieces in front of her while she was paralyzed to stop it. Her son, her innocent, wise, capable son, who always seems to do the right thing, to selflessly dedicate himself to  _ good _ , is bleeding from the mouth, face wrenched in pain, terrible pain that shoots from him almost telepathically into her. Emma can feel it, a wound to his gut and lungs, his stomach acid burning as he drowned in his own blood, the pain, the unbearable pain he was in!

And she had let it happen. Isaac is there, just to the side, there he is, his face, his expression a mystery, but he is there, and she knows. HE had caused this. Henry is trying to speak, gurgling, looking at her, and then collapsing.

She still gasps when she wakes from the nightmare suddenly, but she's able to school her immediate reactions a bit more, after waking up once or twice a night for the past few days. Her breathing somewhat controlled, she doesn't thrash like she had the first few times, she's not shaking, she's able to keep silent.

Not that these fits resulted in her bedmate waking up at all prior to today. For over a century, Hook had learned to sleep through the loud sounds of storm at sea, through the constant shifting and moving in a small sleeping quarters. As a result, he sleeps soundly, dead to the world, nearly impossible to wake. It is a weakness he hates, especially now – especially when he had been warned that Emma is her worse self when she wakes in the middle of the night. He tries, to his credit, staying up as late as he can, but before she wakes, before she had those hours without family to feed her own dark thoughts, in those hours she was very much the Old Emma, and when he held her in his arms sleep would come so naturally.

He bears the grunt of the hostility that overtakes her in the mid-morning, does what he can while Henry is in school, but the night, the waking hours in the early, hours just before dawn, that was where Henry had been invaluable. The boy is a light sleeper. Henry had taken to napping in the evening, a fact Killian tried to hide from Emma. But she knows, she knows it was because of her that her son can't sleep through the night.

It is for Henry hat she tries to keep silent when she has her panicked dreams. She holds her breath, listening, waiting to hear the sound of Henry moving from his bed, the sound of his feet, any indication that the sound of her gasping for air woke him up yet again.

There is no sound.

She cranes her head gently, bracing herself to prevent the bed from squeaking (this was ridiculous, she was afraid of waking her son, afraid he'd catch her sneaking out, as if he were the parent and she was a rebellious child). The red lights of the alarm formed the time: 3:03 AM.

The nightmares are waking her earlier. Henry is asleep. He will be for some time.

She has time to end this, she can make it back and be in bed before anyone is the wiser.

Emma got out of bed, slowly, silently, shimmies into some jeans and toed her feet into her soft soled uggs.

She can't risk the creak of the bedroom door, or the bathroom door, for that matter. She hasn't learned how to use all her magic, but since she became the Dark One she feels like she had developed an innate sense she didn't have before when she was new to magic, when she had lowered herself to begging Regina for help –following her around like a puppy dog, desperate to please. Now her magic is free, and she is confident she can master things she only sees others do. And transporting herself, controlling the transportation from the bedroom to a specific location in the sherriff's office – that had seemed impossible before the darkness came. But now, now, it is easy, and she shook from the thrill of the power as she poofs into the exact place she had wanted to in the dark sheriff's office.

Issac is sleeping soundly in his cell, thank god. She will be quiet. Leave no trace. Get back to sleep, where her dreams would finally be peaceful.

Emma fixes her eyes on Isaac, willing him to turn to stone. Once the transformation is complete, and he's a marble slab statue, she will smash him, letting what is left of him turn to ash and dirt. It is a fitting end for the man who had tried to kill her son both in the past and the future, who put her loved ones through torture for his own amusement – put  _ her  _ through incredible torture – yes, this was a good death, a death with purpose. There's nothing evil about killing evil. It isn't exactly what the old Emma would do, but the old Emma wasn't proactive, hell, she let the villains become strong enough to hurt, wound, and terrify the innocent. This Emma doesn't have to wait. This Emma was more humane.

As utterly confident as she is in her magic, Isaac continued to sleep, his body never turning to stone. She approaches him, in anger, if magic doesn't work she'd kill him in cold blood and clean up the mess later.

But before she gets touching distance from Isaac, her body slams against some sort of invisible wall. She can't touch him. Can't get close to him.

Isaac is protected. From her. She can't kill him. She can't touch him. Hell she can't even wake him from his precious sleep.

Someone had protected him. Used the dagger to will Emma to never harm Isaac.

Emma chuckles to herself.  _ Someone. _ She's fooling herself if it had been anyone else, anyone else but Regina.

A spell like this – a prevention of Emma's  _ future  _ actions couldn't have been easy. Regina must have thought this man is particularly vulnerable. And she clearly did not trust the person who had the dagger to always be around, watching.

Regina thought she was so clever. She had told Emma – eyes truthful, no detected lie in sight – that she had trusted a person with the dagger. Emma's mistake had been misunderstanding that comment and she had focused on the people Regina had trusted – only a small handful of people in Storybrooke had been considered as potential dagger holders. Tinkerbelle, Belle, Granny, Archie…possibly Ruby. All people she had quickly eliminated for they didn't have the dagger.

Someone had the dagger that Regina didn't necessary  _ trust.  _ Regina  _ had just trusted _ that that person wouldn't misuse the dagger.

Because this person  _ couldn't  _ misuse the dagger. Her magic wouldn't mix with darkness.

Blue. Blue has the dagger.

A smile crosses Emma's face and for a second she thinks of just poofing into the convent this instant. But she had time, she could spare another day to figure out a better plan while she had the advantage of knowing who had the dagger.

She poofs herself back into her room, Killian still sleeping soundly next to her.

And then she shakes out of her jeans and creeps into bed. Tomorrow will be a much better day.

.::.

Emma Swan isn't the only one having nightmares.

It isn't really all that noticeable. You may mistake it for someone who can't get comfortable, something you expect of someone who lacks the experience of sleeping on the dirt near a campfire.

But David knows Robin had slept in far more uncomfortable positions in the forest, without ever having a problem finding sleep.

Robin mumbles faintly, and the sound keeps him up, reminding him of when Snow had terrible nightmares, nightmares that he had feared would trap her in sleep for all eternity.

Now Snow sleeps through almost anything, only sensitive to the sounds of Neal's cries. The sounds of Robin's jerks and mumbles do not wake her.

But David is sensitive to night terrors, and he wakes easily.

Robin's mumbling grows more persistent, slightly louder, with a sense of passion in his whisper, until suddenly he shouts "NO!" in his sleep.

A guard throws a lead cup at Robin then, hitting his arm and splashing weakened ale over his body in the process.

A faint "shutup" could be heard, along with the snicker of a nearby guard. Robin springs up, awake, panting, looking around. David is unsure if he is catching his bearings or trying to see if he had woken anyone else. As his eyes swept over to him, David instinctively closes his eyes. Nightmares are nothing to be ashamed of, but it appears Robin was ashamed nonetheless, and he refuses to make this harder on him than it already is.

After glancing around the campfire, Robin throws the lead mug back at the guard keeping watch. He is several feet away, and it is pitch black, but the archer has perfect aim.

"I believe you dropped this" Robin whispers. The lead cup hit the guard right between the eyes, drawing out the sound of pain curses.

"I'll bloody kill you tomorrow for this." The guard promises.

Robin lays back down, a smile on his lips as he relishes in the small victory over the guard. He needed a win, for a change.

.::.

Regina opens her eyes, surprised she had slept through the entire night and into the early hours of dawn. She is exhausted, emotionally and physically. And the sleep had been much needed. They had another day of exhausting travel.

"Good morning!" She heard Arthur say. He was changing into day clothes, his shirt off, his pants thankfully already on.

"It will be a good morning for  _ you _ ." Regina groans. "You won't have to traipse around the forest in a ball gown and ridiculous heels.

Arthur laughs. "I suppose you have a solution?"

"I do" Regina said with a smile. She would stay in the traditional Camelot dress less they run into curious visitors. She would choose soft, breathable fabric dress styled in the way of Camelot, but with boots. Comfortable, strong boots for riding and exploring the terrain.

Arthur nods approvingly at the outfit as it materializes. "Do as you wish."

Finding an outfit for herself was easy, deep crimson with gold highlights, with simple brown boots. She knows Snow and Maleficent well enough to make an outfit for them as well, but once again, she found herself stuck when it came to Lily. In the end, she settles on a dress not much different than her own in shape and fabric, except in a deep emerald. The color seems to suit Lily. Next, she focuses on finding boots for each of the ladies.

They appeared in a poof of smoke, Arthur nodding and promising to distribute the new clothes to the women. And then he left her to change herself.

Snow murmurs a thank you as Arthur hands Snow her dress, a light blue, nearly white, with soft silver flecks, and boots, beautiful, comfortable boots that made it clear this was a gift from her stepmother.

Arthur next walked towards Maleficent and Lily. Robin used his absence to make his way to Regina, but he's stopped before he can enter the tent by guards.

Panic rises in him for an unknown reason. "Regina? Are you ok?"

She groans annoyingly, then curses herself for groaning so audibly, knowing it would hurt Robin. Fixing her dress quickly she walks out, barefoot, with stockings and boots in hand, walking past the guard and Robin and next to David.

"I'm fine, Robin. Everything is fine. I can take care of myself."

She can't quell the annoyance in her voice, it's obvious as soon as she hears her won voice, and she fights the urge to cringe. That was not intentional. But from the look on Robin's face, she had really hurt him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound—"

Robin had already taken a step away from her to give her space. Now, he raises his hand in the air. "Forget it. I'm sorry I asked. I guess I can't stop caring about you quite as quickly as you obviously want."

It's not true. Of course it's not true. And she starts to follow him, though she has no idea what she will say when she catches up to him.

"Robin, I-" he never turns back to look at her, just walks away faster. And fine, she won't try to talk to him now. Not when he is this upset.

Instead she grabs a quick breakfast, sitting next to Arthur (at his request, of course) and watching as Robin purposely avoided her gaze throughout the entire meal.

The search for Merlin continued in much the same way it had the day before. Maleficent had enchanted a number of different parts of the kingdom into her own magical secret hideouts, each one more elaborate than the last.

When they reach the second stop of the day, a beautiful underground hideaway, with streams of moss hanging down like streamers, strips of sunlight (false sunlight, it had to be) seeping through the ceiling, making shadows and sparks of light dance around, Arthur's mood shifts into one that is silent and brooding.

He takes Regina's hand and leads her away from a rather large root from a nearby tree. She hadn't noticed, and frankly, she was likely to trip without his help. She smiles a  _ thank you _ , and cannot help but feel a small ping of something that resembles grateful and affection over the fact that Arthur would go out of his way to protect her from being minorly injured.

She misses how Robin glares, how Snow watches them nervously. She missed the looks of confusion when Regina directs Arthur away from a bush of berries he had been intent on sampling. She explains that she recognizes the tainted magic that hangs off of them. She misses the way the guards gape as Regina pulls the berries he had already picked out of Arthur's hands. But she does not miss the look in Arthur's eyes in this lifesaving action. The way emotion dances from confusion to gratitude, and something else…respect, perhaps? A hint of lust? Whatever it had been faded from his eyes quickly. Regina is left nervous and confused, having to remind herself once again that Arthur is not to be trusted.

It is hard to remember that Arthur is untrustworthy – hard to remember he is the enemy, when he is warming up to her in such a genuine way, providing just the amount of playful banter she needs without being oppressive or intrusive.

She doesn't hate Arthur, she decides, as she watches the sun was setting. She doesn't like him very much, but that unnerving feeling she once had around him had all but dissipated, leaving her with something that feels like respect and understanding.

Later, they have dinner at the campsite. Her plate and the other prisoners' plates are full of food, plenty of water and mead for them as well. She contemplates this treatment, this behavior, as she sits on a log near the fire, staring into the crackling embers and dancing bright orange flames.

It's then that she hears a throat clearing sound behind her. She spins around, to find Arthur there. He sits down beside her, giving her just enough distance to not feel threatened.

"And is this food satisfactory? Anything I can do for you, my queen?" he asks, a half smirk on his face, inspecting her as if she is some complex puzzle he had not quite solved. Arthur smiles then, as if he knows the question on her lips. He hands the purple stone to her, giving her a squeeze. "Talk to your son in private. I trust you."

Regina sucks in a deep breath. 'What I'm going to ask you for is more than that." she admits. She's not one to break eye contact – it's a sign of weakness, afterall, but as she tries to find a way to phrase her request in a way that seems reasonable, she cannot help but dart her eyes downward, away from him. Arthur mistakes the redirection in her gaze as some sort of concern, sadness, or something. He put his arm on her back and draws circles with his fingers.

"Whatever it is, I won't be upset if you ask." He soothes, "though I can't guarantee I'll agree to it."

"As you know, Robin… has a son too. Snow White has an infant son back at home. If I talk to my son, he can go to him, gather them, and we can see all our children, put everyone's mind at ease."

Arthur nods his head. "I think I've been quite gracious, under the circumstances," he starts, "my people want you executed – painfully executed, I'll have you know. But you sit here, unrestrained, travelling in luxury, where prisoners who have done far less than you are dying in our dungeons."

"You have treated me quite well." Regina agrees. She swallows her anger, her need to remind him that  _ she  _ has treated him far better despite having no right to do so – she had very well saved his life, afterall, had she not? And she had resisted burning him alive despite having the ability to do so. Do those favors not count for anything?

"If you were to trick me, with all of you holding this device, and you uncuff Morgan…"

"You can put the cuffs back on me?" She offers, wincing at the request. "Just for the time we use to talk to our sons."

Arthur smiles curiously. There was another test he had. "You can keep your magic." he said. "Snow White's child, it is with David?"

Regina nods.

"I'll give all of you privacy, but Snow White stays with me, until you return with the stone. David can talk tell her the child is safe, can he not?"

It confuses her, his sudden need to punish Snow White. Still, his offer is reasonable. "I suppose he could."

"You can go wherever your heart desires. I will not keep eyes after you. But I will keep Snow until you return."

He is experimenting with her, Regina realizes.

"And you are betting I won't leave you because I love my precious stepdaughter so much?" Regina snarks.

"Exactly." Arthur smiles. "You are quite interesting but denying that you love that girl is…very intriguing to me."

Regina rolls her eyes. 'I won't leave anyway. We both want to find Merlin. Why would I leave you and your resources to wander off on my own?"

"So we agree on my terms?"

They do.

All she has to do is tell everyone about the device. Everyone but Snow.

It's easier to pull the bandaid off in one shot, so Regina approaches Snow first, who is on a log close to the fire, chatting with David and Robin. "I need you to do something for me that sounds incredibly unfair" she starts, before Arthur came up behind her, shooing his guards away.

"Did you tell her?" he asks.

"I was telling her now." She says behind clenched teeth. What is it with this man, why can he not give her a moment alone with her people?

Snow's face grows worried, her brows knit, and she begins to look like a cartoon deer staring into the headlights. "Just tell me already!"

"I have a device that…Henry has the other. We can talk to him. We can see him, and Roland, and Neal. And Arthur has been gracious enough to let us use it—"

Snow squeals and grabs Arthur by the neck, hugging him "I have been so worried about them all…"

Oh god, this is going to hurt her.

"Snow I am so sorry, but Arthur will only let us use it if….if you stay with him until we're finished. David and Robin, and I, we can talk, but you…"

Snows eyes fill with tears. She obviously knows what is coming. It seems so unfair, and why her of all people? Poor Snow didn't realize Regina had already tried to beg and barter her way out of this, and she hopes to god Snow doesn't start to see her as the enemy again. She can't take that right now.

"Let me go with Arthur instead," David offers. "You only need one of us, right?"

"It has to be Snow." Arthur insists.. "So Regina resists the urge to leave us all or use magic to burn villages again. I'm sure you're a wonderful man, but I doubt very much you mean much to our evil queen. It has to be Snow…or, possibly…" He focuses his eyes on Robin. That would work. But he knew Regina would not allow it. Every child should be able to see at least one of their parents. It was fair.

"Is this truly necessary?" Regina scowls her eyes piercing invisible daggers into Arthur's. But he only laughs a  _ yes, I believe it is necessary.  _ Once again Regina thinks of using her magic to destroy everyone, and once again she remembers that there is too much at stake to risk playing that card now.

"I understand." Snow says, looking every bit as dejected as Regina had imagined she would. Because she doesn't understand. And now she is probably confused on exactly what she means to Regina, and that's frustrating as all hell.

All Regina can think to do is to hold Snow's hand tightly. It was a simple act, but she put more affection in it than she had shown Snow in a long time, if ever, and Snow was not blind to what it meant.

"I'm sorry." Regina says, "I promise we'll tell you everything."

"Neal's probably going to be asleep," David reminds. "And what would he say anyway?"

Snow nods in agreement. "But Emma…"

"Yes, we may speak to Emma. We'll let you know if there is anything of concern."

Regina walks towards a small clearing at the end of the campsite, were a fallen log made a proper bench. The guards followed, until Arthur told them to stand down, give them some privacy. Regina sits in the middle of the bench, Robin on her right and David on her left. She thinks about Henry, and instantly feels the rock connecting her to him. Seconds later his face was projected over the now-glowing stone. He looks well, if not worried.

"MOM?" he asks. "How come I can't ever reach you when I want to? I thought this was broken or something bad happened."

"I'm so sorry Henry, I don't have it with me. Arthur keeps it and only lets me borrow it for a time. He's worried about me using magic…. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Oh. He sounds dumb." Henry muses, causing Robin to smile broadly. That's his boy. "Hi Robin, hi David!" Henry exclaims, making it clear he could see them. "Do you want to see Neal and Roland?"

"Yes, could you go to Belle's? I'm sorry to bother you…"

"I'm already there, Mom!" Henry smiles, "We went over for dinner."

"Emma?" Regina asked quietly.

Henry sighs. "She…she knows whoever has the dagger won't let her kill Isaac. She's pretty mad about it. " He pauses "is there something protecting Isaac? How would she know?"

Regina frowns. It's clear how Emma knows. Emma would only know if she tried to kill Isaac and failed. But she would not tell her son that. She shot a look to David, and he echoes her worry. "There might be a protection spell on Isaac…." She starts.

"Henry, what are you doing in there? We're going home." a voice calls out on Henry's side. Emma.

"Tell her you're talking to us." David offers, and Regina nods. No sense keeping this from her.

"Mom….it's mom" he calls and they could tell he was moving towards something, offering the stone to her.

"Regina…" her voice sounds ominous and angry. But then she saw David and mutters "Oh, hi dad."

"When were you going to tell me you had this?" She asks, her tone short and clipped.

"Probably never, I only meant to use it to keep in touch with my son." Regina replies truthfully. "Are you ok?"

"Continually grumpy in the morning, better at night. So not really any change." Emma recounts. She is hiding something, and she is getting good at hiding things. She is becoming like Gold, able to control her anger and dark plans. This is more concerning to Regina than an angry Emma.

"We are hoping to see Roland and Neal." Regina presses.

"How's it going with your Merlin plan?" Emma ignores the request.

"No luck so far, but we may have a lead."

"Any more details?"

"It's…a long story," David replies, not sure how to communicate everything that had happened in the short time they had on this device.

"Fine, don't tell me anything" Emma huffs. "I'll get Roland. Neal's asleep but…." Emma walks over with the stone and leaned it into Neal's crib. "Here he is. Safe and sound."

Neal is an adorable baby, and when he sleeps, he looks peaceful and calm. Unharmed.

"Roland!" Emma screams, a little too close to the sleeping baby. But there was no rise in him, thank god. The Charmings raised heavy sleepers. Roland never appears. Apparently he either didn't hear her or wasn't up to see her.

Henry speaks up. "It's ok mom, Roland's probably just playing a game. I'll go get him."

Emma shakes her head. "He's scared of me for some reason. Jesus Christ, I'm not going to hurt a little kid."

"I know mom!" Henry assures, "It's not that…."

Henry takes the stone, and walks back into a bedroom. Roland is there, under the bed, hiding.

When he sees what is projected in front of the stone a huge dimpled smile spreads on his face. "Papa! Regina!"

"I've missed you, Roland." Robin says, voice softly cracking. Roland has been away from him for much longer with no contact – but this is different – now he is a whole realm away, living with one of the most dangerous forces on the planet – and the person who sleeps near his son – Emma – could erupt at any moment. Regina imagines this has been particularly difficult for him.

Roland, however, is oblivious to Robin's mood. He chats away happily going on a long, detailed recitation of what he had done in the days without his father. Belle is a good babysitter, and he had gone to the park, played baseball, he had read comic books with Henry, built a fort in Belle's room, and he got his own bow and arrow and had a bow and arrow fight with Henry. Robin's eyes flicker at that, for Roland is far too young to be holding and using a bow and arrow for anything other than target practice with his father, where he never truly held the bow on his own.

"Nerf bow and arrow" Henry corrects. Regina smiles, and Robin looked confused. "It's a toy" she whispers, patting his leg. "it's soft foam, it's safe for kids."

Robin nods, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"And you Henry?" Regina asks. "How've you been?"

"Fine." Henry replies. "They are making me go to school. I'm not with Emma all day. Hook's been there though…." Henry sighs clearly exasperated with the way things have gone so far.

Regina rushes to reassure him.

"That's perfect. You do not have to hang off her every moment. But Hook needs to be there if you are not. Remind him, OK? We're going to fix this soon."

Henry nods. Words of love are exchanged between the boys and their parents, Henry takes the stone back to Neal so David can soak in another look at the sleeping baby, and then they say goodnight and end the call.

"We don't have much time." Regina says frankly.

"She didn't look that bad" David muses. "She seemed a little better than last time, even."

"She's concealing it. Which isn't a good sign" Regina groans. "But she wasn't lying when she said she wouldn't hurt a child. The Dark One wouldn't be able to change that for her – not for years. The care she has for children…." It is difficult to put into words, but Regina recognizes it in Emma because she recognizes it in herself. It took Rumple years to get her to kill the innocent. And innocent is what children are to Emma and Regina. "Anyway, we lucked out with that."

There's silence for awhile, and it's awkward, contemplative. She feels David's eyes on her, but she will not look at him, will not see the pity or curiousity or god knows whatever else he has for her.

"I have to go back to Arthur." Regina admits with finality, breaking the silence. "And you need to go see your wife before she combusts." David kicks into gear nearly racing to Snow, and Regina is quick to follow him, until a pair of hands grab her arm and hold her back.

"Regina I won't ask much of you, but please," Robin starts, and oh god, he was starting this. "One moment."

Regina nods and walks beside him. "We're being watched." she breathes, reminding him of the guards around him.

"I know and I don't care. I love you." he pleads looking at her eyes.

She mouths the words back, but does not dare speak them out loud. She doesn't want the guards to know how much she loved this man, or he could be in jeopardy. Robin opens his arms to hug her, looking as though he has so much more to say but she steps back, feeling the eyes of guards around her.

"Your son will be ok." She says loudly – easily for the guards to hear, and then, "there's nothing to fear. Goodnight, Robin."

She hadn't just left the conversation for Robin's own protection. It is for everyone's. Right now she had remarkable, unheard of control. She has the ability to use magic and isn't using it – except for things that Arthur approved of, like changing the women into hiking-appropriate attire, or providing a change of clothes for the men. She can't help but worry that opening a flood of emotions would rattle that control as it has so many times in the past. Robin is still her weakness, and she can't let herself be wrapped up in her weakness when so much is on the line.


	10. Chapter 10

Emma Swan isn't having nightmares anymore.

Because Emma Swan isn't sleeping anymore.

The need for sleep had been less and less until it simply vanished from her body the very moment she discovered Blue had the dagger. It was replaced with churning desires for revenge, finding true justice, in whatever way she could. But she had devised a plan, the perfect plan to take the dagger.

It didn't take her long to shake the pirate. He tried, but he is far too trusting and far too optimistic when it comes to her. When Henry goes off to school, Hook does not worry over her, does not insist on spending all his time with her. It leaves her to wander freely so she could "have some space."

And now she is in front of the nunnery, knocking on the door.

Mother Freaking Superior herself answers.

"Emma?" Blue asks looking at her with—was that guilt? There is definitely some fear. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Blue, I need the dagger."

Blue looks a bit startled by the bluntness of the words, and then shakes her head, "Emma, I don't –"

"Regina gave it to you, right?" Emma asks, pressing, "She probably thought that gesture would earn her some good will. Make you think she's on the side of good."

Blue looks at her skeptically, but Emma knows the little moth was looking for any excuse to have her instincts about Regina proved correct.

"I don't have –"

Emma sighs, shooting her a pointed look. Is there really a reason to lie to the freaking Dark One?

"Emma, it's unsafe for you to take the dagger. The dark one—"

"I'm not the dark one." She insists. "I'm the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White. I'm the savior. I have light magic, not dark. You know I can fight this. But now I'm the only one who has magic in this town and these powers have let me see the future. Isaac is going to hurt my son."

"The author?" she asked "He's safely locked away…"

"He gets out. I see the future – or parts of it… and I see him hurting Henry. And I'm the only one who could stop it."

"I won't stop you from protecting those you love, Emma." Blue promises, and there, there's she got her. It's like seeing a checkmate from three moves away. Emma has already won.

"I assume you already had," Emma sighs, "the dagger won't let me harm the author. Which means, when he strikes, I'll be powerless."

"I didn't - I can't - I would never!" Blue corrects, looking suspiciously. "but that means..."

Emma finishes her thought for her. "Yes, I assume Regina put the curse on the dagger before giving it to you. I can't even get near him."

Blue looks  _ intrigued _ , if a bit skeptical. But it's working. Of course it's working. Blue doesn't think people can change, and that's exactly why Emma can so easily play her.

"Regina hates Isaac, why would she protect—"

"Because it's not about Isaac!" Emma presses, "she wants to be the only one to save or protect the town. She thinks that's she only way she can stay in power. She wants to hold this town for ransom. That's Regina. Her motives are always…"

Blue nods as if she were one step ahead of her. "Her motives are always selfish ones. Emma, I can't undo whatever commands she gave you before giving me the dagger, my magic doesn't mix with dark magic, I can't help…"

"I can undo it," Emma reminded her, "I can't leave this town vulnerable to darkness. I can't let Regina subject this town to another nightmare."

She could probably have just snuck into the nunnery and stole the dagger in the dead of night. It wouldn't be too hard. But it was somehow more satisfying this way. She can't help but smile as Blue places the dagger in her hands.

.::.

oAs the search for Merlin continues, Regina finds she hates Arthur less and less. He's a cocky, a bit entitled and obnoxious, but truthfully he seems interested in her – not just her body, not just her as a science experiment – but her, as a person. He asks her manys of questions about her past, about how she changed, and when she asks why he cared so much, he is always annoyingly evasive. Still, he is fine company, much better than she had expected.

During one conversation, Arthur confesses to her he had wished for a child of his own. Regina had mentions adoption – even in this realm, not unheard of, but Arthur shakes his head.

"I wouldn't have a child without a mother. You are both a father and mother to Henry, and it suits you well. I could not be both roles for a child. It wouldn't be fair."

He admires her, she realizes then. He does not admire her for being some wacky science experiment on evil-turning-good…no, it is for her own feats, her good acts, who she is, deep down inside.

It isn't until they make camp, and dinner is being prepared – Arthur distracted and laughing with his men, that David has a moment to grab Regina.

"Regina?"

Regina rolls her eyes, sure that David is doubting her actions her compliance with this trip. "David, I appreciate your concern, but we're going to be ok—"

"It's about Robin."

Regina raises her eyebrow, "Our relationship is none of your business."

"He's not sleeping well, I think they are nightmares, but it could be more severe. Something's not right. You should talk to him."

Regina looks over at Robin. He was staring into the distance, tending to the fire. Shit, he looked like hell.

And she hadn't noticed.

She had let her plan to save Emma and find Merlin take over her common sense. The man wasn't invincible. He had been through a terrible event, and she had not considered the fact that he might need some support himself. She had focused on her own broken heart and her own fears of losing self-control, spent time worrying about getting Emma Swan back to normal and assuming Robin is fine, because hell, that's how he's always been.

But now he's pale, the circles under his eyes are noticeable, and his eyes have lost the sparkle they usually held. They are all sleep deprived, but he's used to living like a nomad, hell, he's at home now, living from campsite to campsite. And yet, he looks the worst of them. The signs were in front of her, and she had ignored them.

"He's fine," she mutters back at David, because the last thing Robin would want is David or Snow or  _ anyone  _ worrying about him. She will do Robin this service, and keep the two nitwits and their infuriating caring affection away from him.

"Regina, I don't want to get involved with this, but -"

"Then  _ don't! _ " Regina groans and tore her eyes away from David.

David doesn't go off quietly. Instead he goes in for the kill. "You know, Regina, I really thought you were better than this. But after all this time, you still don't know how to care for the people who love you."

The words cut through her, surprising and sharp and painful. She had underestimated how much David cares about Robin, she supposes. She would not have suspected David would attack her like that. Especially when she's sleep deprived and has a mountain of unused magic at her finger tips.

She needs a moment alone with Robin, but such time is all but impossible with the guards, with Arthur's watchful eyes on her.

She circles back to what her gut tells her to do – her instinctual pull to just use her magic to quickly overpower Arthur and his three guards. She can take them out and then run this operation the  _ right  _ way, without nosy kings or sadistic guards getting in her way.

But it's a risk, this fight, and it would almost assuredly come at a cost, a fair chance that cost would be one of their lives. So for now, she shelves the plan. She doesn't know how she's had the power to resist her impulses. Perhaps it was the nightly talks with Henry that was keeping her from boiling over the edge. Or perhaps it was because she was trusting Arthur more.

So she pulls herself together, promising herself that she will talk to Robin at dinner. For now, she will get through the day and the hunt for Merlin.

.::.

The next spot Maleficent takes them to is down a winding road that spirals along a large, rocky hill – not quite a mountain, but a very large hill. At one of the overlooks, where the plains below were visible, lay a pile of boulders.

"Here" she points to Regina.

Regina uses her magic to find the hidden door deep within the boulders.

But this home is not like the others. It is dark, the walls made of jagged edges and rock, furniture black with red accents, a large black and red mat on the floor with high ceilings – undoubtedly where Maleficent could sleep in dragon form. The only light peeks in from cracks in the walls that glow a bright red. A dungeon. Fit for the evil dragon.

"When did you make this?" Lily asks. Regina can tell that she senses the pain, the hurt that went into creating such a dark place. And how could she not? It  _ feels _ like a dungeon, bleak, uncomfortable, almost as if Maleficent had punished herself.

"This is the last hiding spot I created before I left Camelot." Maleficent sighs, "But Merlin hasn't been here anytime recently. Maybe never."

The place floods back memories and feelings that Maleficent wishes to forget. The pain of seeing her loved one in the arms of  _ his  _ loved one. The pain of watching them from afar, seeing their happiness. The pain of knowing that Arthur spared their lives, let them go free, but banished his own sister for her supposed role in their love. The pain of belonging to no one.

"We should leave." Maleficent mumbles.

"The next closest place?" Regina asks.

Maleficent takes in a deep breath, darting her eyes around the room. It's clear to Regina that next closest place she'd just as soon skip. She wonders what could be worse, what could be more symbolic of her pain and self-loathing than this place?

"The first secret place I ever built myself. Please remember, I was young." She winces, and Regina detects a bit of...embarrassment. Something she wouldn't have thought Mal was capable of, not during their entire history together. There is an undercurrent of softness, a hint of vulnerability that she hears often. But this…the embarrassment. This is unexpected.

Maleficent leads them down to the plains below, but her demeanor shifts. She acts like she is marching to her death, the way she trudges on heavy feet. She makes flippant remarks as they walk, picking fights with the guard several times. On more than one occasion, Regina is forced to intervene to ensure the guards do not beat her.

"Mal," she whispers in a worried tone the second she's able to get close to her. "There's a lot at stake here, now is a hell of a time to have a tantrum."

Mal glares at her. "It's not worth this. We can find them on our own. Fight them."

"Why now? What's so…"

But the guards catch up to them, then, surrounding Maleficent and separating her from Regina.

She never gets to finish her question.

Regina had imagined that this next place would be dangerous, horrible. Violent. Perhaps something Maleficent didn't want her child to see. She prepares herself for the worst.

But instead Mal leads them to a field of wildflowers.

There is a wide open space near a brook, with trees on one side and the stunning cliffs and edges of a mountain on the other.

"It's like something out of a movie" Lily marvels. "It almost doesn't look real here."

Mal is silent, her expression changing intermittently between looking distant and looking angry.

Regina knows then what bothers her. This place is not dangerous.

This place is  _ private. _ And Regina had made Maleficent share her special, private place with her enemies. With a brother who wants to kill her.

Arthur is clearly unaware of this place in the kingdom, but he seems affected by it, smiling as he looked around, a little mesmerized.

"You have found some beautiful places in the kingdom," he says softly to his sister.

"It was a hobby of mine." Maleficent responds casually. She is trying to look unbothered, but Regina knows when the dragon is uncomfortable and nervous.

She is out of her skin.

Mal clears her throat shyly. "Again, I was very young when I created this place." She takes a breath in and reaches into the tall mess of wild flowers. Her hands searches, and then find a brass knob. She twists and pulls it towards her, opening a door into her first creation.

The inside of her hiding place beneath the ground is all lace and frills. Enchanted flowers were everywhere – roses, lilies, daffodils, all in vases around, smelling sweet. The room is white, accented by light pink pops of colors on pillows, flowers, picture frames, anything. A white posted canopy bed is up against the wall, with light pink silk hanging from the canopy. The comforter is white lace and gorgeous. A white sofa with pink taffeta running behind it makes up the other side of the room.

Regina tried to picture  _ her _ Mal - in all the years she knew her - all the different shades and sides of Maleficent – creating  _ this.  _ There are times when almost...a fleck of something she used to be is there. Almost.

But Regina never truly knew this side of Maleficent. How could she? Imagine all that had happened to her between creating this place and becoming the dragon she knew.

"You….made this?" Arthur looks downright _ mesmerized _ .

"I was young." Maleficent reiterates defensively.

"It's beautiful in here" Snow marvels while looking around the room. "Can you decorate my house when we get home?"

Maleficent smiles nostalgically. "I am not this person anymore."

Regina sits down on the sofa, trying to make light of significance of the design. "You do have a knack for design. This nails the shabby chic/romantic look."

"Did you take Lancelot here?" Arthur asks timidly, not accusingly. Maleficent scowls but did not answer the question. From her face, Regina knows the answer was yes.

Robin sat down next to Regina, taking advantage of Arthur's distraction. His knee grazes hers ever so slightly, and it felt like forever since they touched. Regina gave him a faint smile and squeezes his knee very quickly, as if to say  _ It's going to be ok.  _ But she didn't know if they were going to be ok.

Robin looks at her with a grateful smile – grateful for any attention she was willing to pay him, lately, and her face softens while looking at his. But they hear Arthur stop speaking, and she throws Robin a warning glance. She does not want Arthur to think they were together. Arthur will assume she had lied about their arrangement (she hadn't, but nonetheless, she's drawn to him, wants him, loves him, wants to do things that a wife would do, not an ex-girlfriend). If Arthur suspects dishonesty, he might re-cuff her, or rather, to try to recuff her and force her to battle everyone right then and there in Maleficent's charming romantic paradise.

So she can't keep her eyes on her, can't offer him lingering, sweet touches of comfort that she wants to, because she's a new person now, because she can control herself. Because she has  _ control. _

Robin stands up, understanding her warning gaze. "So, while the ladies would love to make up camp here and stay on holiday, I should ask, has our elusive sorcerer been sleeping in your bed, Maleficent?" Robin asks.

.::.

Maleficent is about to say no, that Merlin has never been here. It appears he hasn't, it certainly  _ feels  _ like a dead end. There had been not a trace of him. She could not detect anything. But then something glimmering catches the corner of her eye. Something that did not belong.

It is a piece of crystal, a beautiful abstract piece of crystal. It fits in with the theme of the room so well that no one would notice it didn't belong. She walked over to touch it, and is overwhelmed by Merlin's presence.

She smiles. "He  _ has  _ been here. He erased almost every trace of himself. But he  _ was _ here. And he left a clue for me. One only I would understand and one only I would find. I know where he is."

They are headed to the Crystal Cave. It isn't a place Morgan had ever created for the purposes of hiding from Arthur or his knights. It isn't a residence. It had been created to be Merlin's lifelong prison – his prison and his tomb. And, as far as Regina had heard, Maleficent had been successful in trapping him there for some time. Yet he escaped, somehow, and apparently never told anyone about the cave. And now, after his imprisonment there, he had decided to hide there, to live there, and to tell the very person who had previously imprisoned him where to find him.

It was probably a trap, right? How could it not be? But Maleficent doesn't care. She wants to see Merlin again, for a reasons he can't quite understand. He is an old enemy, but in the years all she could remember him as was her mentor, her confidante.

Maleficent tells everyone the location of the crystal cave. It is far, very far, up the treacherous mountains. Arthur's carriage will not make it, and at a certain point they may not be able to make it on horseback.

By the time they are set to leave Maleficent's hiding place, the sun is setting. Arthur suggests they make camp and sleep. Snow suggests they sleep in Maleficent's beautiful floral hiding spot, but Maleficent protests, saying she had another such place that was larger and just at the base of the mountains. They can get to the base of the mountains, and send someone to take back the carriage and the horses, and this place is bigger, easier to stay in.

And while all of this is true, and Mal is no doubt excited to see Merlin as soon as possible, Regina knows there's something more to Mal's insistence they leave this particular hiding spot. She looks at her, and just  _ understands.  _ It's in her face, the nervous itching she does. She draws back on their time together, on what she knows of Mal, and it all makes sense.

This spot once her beautiful sanctuary, and now strangers had invaded her privacy. Regina knows how it feels to have invaders in your sanctuary, they had ripped open her heart and were now wading through the contents.

Regina is then the biggest advocate of leaving the sanctuary and heading to the base of the mountains. The guards protest, but she is successful in winning over Arthur.

Maleficent locks eyes with Regina, her eyes saying all the  _ thank yous _ her mouth cannot.

.::.

Regina once again finds herself in Arthur's carriage. She did not have the heart to look back at Robin this time. Guilt eats away at her, too many words were left unspoken.

She glances at Snow though, and was pleased to see a look on her face that was not pity, not worry, not confusion…almost an approving look? Snow will always be that little naïve girl in Regina's eyes. And in fact, in so many ways those childlike qualities were preserved in her adult form – her unwavering outspoken belief in the power of romantic love, her love of flowers and birds, the way she would get excited over the tiniest of things, her undying cheery optimism, her belief that violence or threats were never the solution to any problem (even when someone else is threatening your life), even the way she liked to gossip….but this is a different Snow.

This is a Snow who understands that Regina is using Arthur's affections for everyone's own good. A Snow that understands that you cannot just be true to your heart, that sometimes you must betray who you are to protect yourself and everyone. So that is what Regina does, now. She's taken on a new role – one that may hurt Robin temporarily and may quite possibly hurt Arthur (cocky and obnoxious as he might be) but is nonetheless necessary for preservation purposes.

.::.

Once safely in the carriage, Regina turned her eyes to Arthur. She had been coaxing him, little by little, to changing his mind on his sister. And she could tell this last stop had given him pause. She had noticed Arthur's reaction to the floral, happy hiding place that was once his sister's. The person who created that was innocent, light. She was like Snow. She was like Regina, when Regina had Daniel.

"I did not know Maleficent had such a soft side" she offers.

"She might have, once, but it must have faded too quickly for anyone to notice…" Arthur's voice is shaky, uneasy. He sounds anything but sure of himself.

Regina presses on. "I never saw Maleficent like that. I did see her ego bruised and beaten, I did see her acting defeated…I've seen her vulnerable, but not so soft, not so innocent.

"Were you ever like that?" He asks, still not looking her in her eyes. "Ever all about flowers and lace like a god damned schoolgirl?"

"Oh yes." Regina chuckles, "I was probably worse, though I didn't have control of my magic yet so I couldn't use it to create a bedroom out of a romance novel." She continues to laugh and then trailed into "though, I probably would have…"

"You are very good." Arthur acknowledges "You've made your case for your 'Maleficent' very well, but I won't forgive her thousands of misdeeds just because she might not have been a hideous beast centuries ago."

And he looks tense, angry and no, that won't do. So she backtracks a bit.

"That wasn't what I was doing." Regina assures. She grabbed his hand and looks into his eyes. "I honestly thought you wanted to talk about it and then if I indulged you…" She trails off. "I thought it wouldn't seem as selfish when I asked for time to talk with my family alone. I don't think Robin is doing well."

"Ahh, just using me, I see," Arthur says, a polite smirk back on his face. "I don't mind. You're intriguing, do you know that? And beautiful. And you care about your loved ones. You'll get your time tonight. Sometimes I think…"

And then Arthur trails off, and looks at her as if he would almost grant her anything.

.::.

Maleficent leads them to where a small waterfall splashes over the side of a mighty mountain. She points to the hidden door – a small thing, right next to the waterfall. Regina uncloaks it immediately and opens it, taking a gasp.

It is another magnificent work of art, and just like everything else, it is unique. Regina had imagined another dark, cold cavern. But despite the stone walls and high ceilings, this place is warm and inviting and….breathtaking. The ground is thick with soft moss, shimmering bright blue ponds are scattered throughout the open space. The back of the waterfall flows behind them into a large pool of crystal clear water where tiny flowers grow inside. The ceiling of this cave is a bright blue sky with puffy white clouds and a radiant sun. Butterflies roam freely, their colorful It's dark as night outside, but in here, it is daylight. ceiling was painted with the colors of the sky. It was light inside, a large light source up ahead mimicking the sun. Maleficent looked to Regina and pointed to the fake sun inside. "You are free to dim the lights" she said smiling at Regina.

Regina understood, and focused on the sun. Without much effort, it dimmed and the sky turned with it, going from a bright day to a beautiful night. There was moonlight surrounding them.

"Beautiful" Regina breathes.

"Thank you" Maleficent said, beaming. She looked around. "I love this place. No beds though. But the moss is really spongy and soft and…you can magic us beds?

She should probably ask Arthur for permission, but truly if she asks him for another thing, she's going to blow her lid. What is the harm? If he was truly going to attack her for helping everyone feel more comfortable, well….

She magics the beds, and looks at Arthur who shrugs approvingly.

And because she's feeling bold, and like she's earned it she glances in Robin's direction before her eyes dart back to Arthur. His nod is a silent approval. She has his permission (god damn it) to talk to him.

"Robin," she said, tapping him on the shoulder from behind. He's not one to scare easily, never has been, but she swears she sees him flinch before he turns his eyes to greet her.

His brow is furrowed, and for a second she worries this is not the right time. He looks too angry, too temperamental. But then his features relax, and he does his best to smile at her. He looks tired, and his eyes seem to house a thousand emotions that he's clearly not intending to speak.

She has a speech planned, but looking into his eyes, she finds the only thing she wants to say is she loves him and misses him.

But it's not fair to say that. And it's not about her.

"You haven't been sleeping," she says, not a question. Had David not told her she still would have known. It's obvious.

He shrugs, looks down and slicks back his hair with his hand. "I'm in a foreign land and my son is at home. I just—I miss him. It's nothing to worry about."

But Regina only shakes her head. "Just because we're not…together…doesn't mean you can't talk to me. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he reiterates, but when he sees her face go from one of concern to a scowl, he rephrases, "it's nothing you need be burdened with."

"Robin." Her hand goes to grab his "I  _ want  _ to know. I care for you. Always." She looks for his eyes, following his gaze as he tries to look anywhere but back into hers.

He sighs. "This is not something you can help me with."

Regina sighs "Is it about Zelena?" She expects as much. Her voice is calm, and flat. She knows it, knows that's what it is.

He nods. "I think…I think she might have cursed me somehow."

Regina raises an eyebrow in response, and Robin sighs.

"I have these…dreams. She's always there, doing something. And she pops into my head at the oddest of times, when the last thing I want to do is remember her. Like she's a ghost haunting me, except she's alive. I know none of this makes sense."

It is clear what he was going through. He'd recognize it if he weren't so proud, so embarrassed, so dismissive of his own feelings that he couldn't see that he is suffering.

"She hasn't  _ cursed  _ you. She's _ hurt _ you. Deeply. You're having nightmares."

Robin shakes his head defiant, "I don't have nightmares. It's more than that—"

She stops his words with a soft "Robin…"

He looks up at her, hiding his embarrassment to the best of his ability, letting out a resigned sigh. "I'm not some sort of child."

"It's normal. You went through a major trauma. Your wife came back from the dead, which is already emotionally tolling. But to find out it was just a witch wearing her face the whole time?" He winces, and she squeezes his hand in support. "Many men would be faring far worse than you."

The guilt is knowing at her. This is her fault. She lets out a puff of air. "I shouldn't have showed you that memory."

Robin shook his head. "No, don't blame yourself. This was happening before then," he admits softly.

She winces. "Since when?"

"Since New York. Since the moment I found out….who she really was."

Regina bites her lip, trying to think back on the time they had before Camelot. How could she not have noticed? "I didn't even know. You should have told me sooner."

He's quick to reassure her (he shouldn't, she's in the wrong here) grasping two of her hands and holding it against his heart. God, she loves that, loves feeling his heartbeat through his clothes, loves the subtle reminder that he is here, and is real, and he is  _ alive.  _ "No, no, it's not your fault. And you would not have noticed because…it uh, it seemed to stop when we were together."

_ Oh.  _ She suddenly feels deeply guilty, and her face must show it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't –"

"No, I don't need you there, you don't have to be a security blanket for me, I'm a grown man," he spits out. "I'm handling this."

But he's not. She runs her fingers down the side of his face, from the forehead down to his temples, tracing the lines of his jaw. It's intimate, and he closes his eyes the feeling. It takes them both back to where they were before this mess. But they aren't there anymore.

"Tell me." She doesn't have to elaborate, he knows what she means.

He shakes his head, grabs her hands and kisses them, finger by finger, palm by palm.

"Thank you for checking on me," he says in a voice he tries his hardest to sound sincere. "But I'm alright. Are you…handling things?"

She nods, "I'm fine."

"It's odd to see you following orders." Robin says, he's fishing again, wants to know why she's acting this way, why she just doesn't fight.

"I'm not following orders, I'm just not…resisting them. I'm okay, Robin. I know what I'm doing with Arthur. He's not hurting any of us. This is for the best. You'll see."

He shakes his head, uncertain, and he's lost trust in her judgment, clearly. It hurts a bit, stings right through her heart, but that's expected, isn't it? They're not together anymore.

"When we get back, you're going to let me help you," she says sternly, and he rolls his eyes and lets out a dark laugh,

"I don't need your help."

She tilts her head, and is about to protest when she sees how much he needs her to believe this, that he's okay. His pride is wounded, and this is all he has right now. So she nods, squeezes his hand, tells him they will talk more once they are back in Storybrooke, and calls over Snow and Charming to communicate with Henry back at home.

Things are good, according to Henry. Emma's sleeping well, though she was on a date with Killian and wasn't able to talk to them tonight. Everyone seemed in high spirits.

Her gut tells her something is wrong, but she won't worry Henry. Besides, he had mentioned nothing about Emma reacting violently to anyone, and so far, her gut feeling is just that – a feeling. Nothing tangible to give her cause for concern.

Roland is in unusually high spirits as well, for someone who – Henry warns – has been throwing fits for the past few days. She watches the concern wipe across Robin's face as he hears the news, but when Roland jumps on the screen, his face and smile cheers him right up.

When she gangs up she's struck with an uneasy feeling. She can't quite say what it is, but she knows that something is wrong.

They have to get home. Soon.

.::.

The conversation with their children had left the guards and Arthur alone for awhile, and when they finish, she notices Arthur has set up his own tent within the cave.

It isn't necessary. The temperature in the cave is perfect, she's magiced bedding in for them, and there is no chance of any rain or dirt interrupting their sleep. Did he do it for privacy? What would he need privacy for?

"Shall we?" he asks, pointing to his tent.

She arches an eyebrow and crosses her hands. Not this time.

"Why did you set up tent? It's perfect temperature-wise and we're indoors." It's a not-so-subtle hint she is uncomfortable with this – with sleeping in close quarters with him when there seems to be no reason to do so.

"I would never force myself on you, if that's what you are worried about" he says, sincerely, and she could tell his words were truthful. "Not that you aren't tempting the hell out of me," he admitted, "But…I do want a moment alone with you."

She raises her eyes. She isn't having  _ a moment alone _ with anyone, anytime soon.

"To talk" Arthur clarifies. Without an audience. I, I did want to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" Regina asked, her mind distracted

"Talk about my Morgan – your Maleficent." As he speaks he begins to undress and head towards the tent. She can't help notice that he is handsome, well built. A good body.

Guilt courses through her veins and she diverts her eyes. Still, she follows him into the tent out of sheer curiousity.

"There is a saying here, and we believe it strongly. 'White can turn black, but black can never turn white.' Morgan may have been light once, and I missed it, but she turned black. You….you once were…"

"As black as black can be," Regina finishes his sentence for him, bluntly. She owns her past. She will continue to own it until she dies.

"But you're not now. I can feel it." Arthur looks at her, "I'm not just fooling myself because you're beautiful, I'm sure that's what Morgan thinks. I can tell. I can see the good in you. But it's against everything the kingdom believed in. I had my theories it was wrong, but..."

Regina nods "It's hard to understand, someone changing. But it happens. Sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better."

Arthur's voice sounds garbled and uneasy as he admits "there used to be a great fear of sorcery here. Merlin tried to change that, to show the good in people who use magic. He helped me to use magic, so the people would accept it. And they did."

"Clearly." Regina acknowledges, remembering the dragons soaring in the air when she first arrived.

"But we took a hardline approach to put the people's minds at ease." He says softly, diverting his eyes from her. "Anyone who ever used sorcery for evil was put to death. Immediately."

"Many, under my command." He sounds…agonizing. Guilty. "Begging for their lives, saying they had changed, they had families, they had children. We hunted the children, tested them for magic. If they had it, we confined them to the dungeons too. Afraid they might have…the propensity for dark magic."

It hits her now. They aren't so different. This noble man of Camelot is not so light afterall. He had done horrible things. May still be doing horrible things. He is guilty because he sees something in her that challenged his very existence.

"I fear myself wanting to misuse magic sometimes, and I wonder, if I made that one mistake, I'd be executed under my kingdom's own rules. But would that make me uncompromisingly dark? Incapable of change? I didn't want to think that was true. And you….you make me believe change is possible in any dark heart. It's comforting in a way, but in another…."

"It makes you feel guilty, for those you killed."

"Incredibly" he admits, looking down. Regina's hand moves to his arms, stroking the exposed skin lightly, as if to soothe.

"I know something about guilt." Her eyebrows raise, and it's a kind of joke, isn't it? "You killed those because you thought they would harm others. You didn't know any better. You aren't a monster. Not a monster like me."

Arthur winces. "You're anything but a monster, Regina. He places a hand tenderly over hers. It hits her. She feels a kinship with him. She feels close to him, because they have more in common than she realized.

"What caused you to give into darkness?" He asks.

Regina takes a deep breath, and tells the tale she's  _ sure  _ he's already heard. "I was in love with someone, and he died. At the hands of my mother because….Snow told her about our love. Snow…that's what prompted all of that mess. She didn't even mean to get him hurt. She just…she was being a child. But I was a child too, and I had lost something I never thought I would get again. I misdirected anger at her. I misdirected it at everyone and everything. And I began to feed the feeling, the anger at being so empty and alone. Until I barely recognized myself."

"How did you change back?"

Regina smiled "I didn't. I am still the Evil Queen, her crimes stay with me. But I was able to add something…lighter. I adopted a child when I was lonely, seeking some form of love. I had hoped he would be a doting little son, showering me in affection. Instead, I became a doting mother. Whatever that was, I had it when I was the evil queen, too. I just didn't know I had that in me."

"Mothering qualities?" He ventures. She fights the urge to roll her eyes. Sure, being a mother helped, but mothering dos not have this magic quality men seem to think it has. Motherhood does not create magic to change a bad person into a good one.

"Selfless love." Regina explains. quietly.

"And Morgan…." He trails off, but it's clear what he is asking.

"Yes. She may have it too."

"Besides acquiring a child," he asks, his hand rubbing circles into her palms "anything you can think of that could change a bad witch into a good witch?"

Regina laughs, and looked down, hair falling into her face. Arthur instinctively combs her hair behind her ear with soft fingers. It was tender, and she missed the tender touch of someone who understood and cared about her.

The words spill from her lips on impulse. "I think falling in love may do it, too." She adds quickly "I mean, love can do all sorts of things."

"Love drove you to evil and then drove you back to good." He muses. There is a pause, as if he was thinking about something else. "When Guinevere….left me all I could think of was ridding myself of Morgan. She is evil, I could destroy her and still feel…like I was a good guy."

"Guinevere broke your heart. The anger was misdirected at Morgan." Regina surmises. "At least you didn't misdirect your anger at the whole world, like I did."

"Only at my sister and anyone who reminded me of her." Arthur admits bitterly. He no longer looks like the same cocky brat he was when he first met her. He's not bragging about his conquests while laying on that sickenly charming act. She likes this Arthur. She likes him a lot.

"What happened with the archer?" he asks, prompting Regina to sigh and shift her position away from him. She did  _ not _ want to talk to him about that.

"We fell in love years after his wife had died. And, it is a very long story but, someone used a glamor spell and pretended to be her, come back from the grave. And he had her back. And he left me for her."

"Well, it  _ was _ his wife." Arthur reminds. He looks…puzzled. Uncomfortable. And why should he not? The whole situation is fucked.

"It was a witch with a glamour potion, but he didn't know that. He just wanted her to be real, so he ignored how different she felt to him. And then she revealed herself to be a witch. Not just any witch. My sister."

Arthur's head was trying to wrap his mind around the story, because truthfully, it's tangled web of a mess. "So…when he figured out it wasn't his wife, then he came back to you?"

Regina nods her head bitterly, shutting her eyes so he can't see the hurt in them. "He tried. He loves Marian – even from beyond the grave – so desperately he was willing to ignore every instinct that told him she was not the same woman he fell in love with. He will never love anyone the way he loves Marian. Oh, and now my sister is pregnant with Robin's child." At that reveal, she cannot help but laugh. It's nearly impossible that a more absurd story has ever been told.

Arthur rests hands on his temples, trying to process all of this. "What a mess," he groans.

"I don't want to be with someone knowing I'm not their first choice." She stares off into the distance. "Do you understand that?"

And he looks like he truly hears her, like he truly understands her. She sees it in his eyes.

"Oh, Guinevere would have stayed with me, out of obligation," he says, to Regina's surprise. "She begged me to just spare Lancelot's life, banish him forever, and she would never see him again, and she would stay with me. She loved me, I believe she did, in her way. But I was not her first choice."

Regina moves closer to him, and reaches out a hand to hold in support.

"We're both broken over the same thing, then," she said with a small laugh.

"Truthfully" Arthur agrees. His free hand finds its way to her hair, threading and rubbing until she finds her head dropping down to his shoulder.

He kisses her forehead, dips lower to kiss her eyebrow. His lips remain there, for a second, paused but threaten to go lower, and then he feels her pull slightly away.

"I'm sorry." He backs away immediately "I did not intend to…"

Regina shakes her head, waving off all his apologies. She kisses his cheek, breathes in his scent, and wraps an arm around him, hugging him tightly for a moment.

"We should be getting some rest for tomorrow," Regina advises. She will sleep outside. She moves to get up, smoothing her hands over her pants, about to tell him this (not to ask for permission, she's done asking for things like this).

But before she can say anything Arthur is drawing himself under warm blankets, confessing what he should have known not to.

"I'm falling in love with you, you know."

Regina is stunned into silence. She had known, had felt the connection, had tried to convince herself otherwise, but now it is there, out in the open, and now they have to deal with it.

"We're wise enough to not confuse lust with love." She replies.

"Indeed, we are." He counters, but he pushed no more. He flashed her a sleepy smile before closing his eyes.

Regina sighs. For tonight, perhaps she can just sleep in this tent. She collapses beside him. Her clothes suddenly feel too restricting, everything around her threatened to choke her. She poofsherself into a nightgown. Arthur, if he saw, didn't even make a sound of protest at her magic.

She thinks of what to say in response to what Arthur had just told her. Thinks about how lovely it would be if she could just will herself to love Arthur instead of Robin. She found she did care for him – much more tonight than ever before – but she did not burn for him like she did for Robin.

Of course, if she loved Arthur she'd have to figure out how to get him back to Storybrooke, and he probably would not leave without his Kingdom…but somehow figuring out to how move Camelot to Storybrooke seemed like such a small obstacle compared to unraveling whatever had happened and will happen between her, Robin, and Zelena.

She finds herself thinking of the logistics of moving Camelot. It will not take a new curse, she will just have to merge this land under the old curse. An expansion of the old curse. There is a way to do that, for sure, she can figure it out….

And then she brings herself down to earth again. Sure, she can solve this problem, the problem of the obstacles between her and Arthur – but it doesn't matter because she didn't love him. It is far easier than the obstacles between her and Robin, and a nice distraction, but not what she wants. She rolls over, facing the end of the tent. She should crawl out, sleep outside of the tent to calm the worries of everyone else, specifically Robin. She  _ should _ leave, but it is warm, and she is exhausted, emotionally and physically, and before she can will herself to get up, sleep overtakes her.

.::.

The next morning she wakes up to a breakfast, a hearty one, from the smell of it. Which is good, as they had not eaten a dinner, and only had a quick lunch the night before. She wanders out of her tent, forgetting she had been in the king's tent the night before until she caught the guards smirking and pointing at her. She is in a thin loose nightgown that revealed far too much, what was she thinking when she had poofed into  _ this?  _ She changes her clothes in a fury of purple smoke, but it's too late to avoid the guard's jokes.

"Way to go, Your Majesty" one guard mutters, just loud enough for Regina to hear it. Surely everyone thought they had slept together, and she was just as sure she didn't care.

She focuses her attention on the breakfast spread. The same old salted meat is available, along with fresh fruit, bread that hadn't yet become too stale to eat, and….eggs. One of the guards was scrambling up some eggs.

She wonders briefly how they came to have so many eggs this morning. Certainly they could not have been brought on the trip over. Too delicate, too likely to break. Arthur, on he other hand, seems entirely unconcerned with their sudden presence. He asks her if she'd like to have some of the eggs his men procured – so many of them! Weren't they resourceful?

Regina raises an eyebrow. "A nearby farmer is probably missing many eggs, Arthur. A person of your village struggling just to get by."

Arthur cringes. "I didn't think about that. I'll make sure o pay them back afterwards. Right now I am just grateful for a hot meal."

She wonders if he will.

He certainly doesn't seem bothered, at all.

She's about to argue her case when Arthur motions to the rest of the prisoners and says "Sit with your friends. and I will not force you to keep me company. Go. Tell them you are ok, let them know that I was a perfect gentleman last night."

And that's…nice. It's exactly the opposite of what Leopold would say, how he'd make her feel. So she abandons her argument about stealing from the poor and walks torward her Storybrooke team, who were eating on the ground, with four guards around them, focusing heavy stares on Maleficent and Lily.

She had done nothing wrong last night, yet couldn't erase the feeling of guilt and dread as she approached her friends.

"Is everyone alright?" Regina asks, taking a place next to Robin.

"Well look who got time off for good behavior." Snow snarks. "Seriously, are you ok? Did he…do something to you?"

"Do you think he would be alive if he had?" Regina bites. She stares Snow down who only shrugs. Shit, the girl hasn't been afraid of her in years, she has no idea why she had expected her to apologize for the question. It's Regina who softens and adds "In any case, It's not like that. Arthur is…"

"A perfect gentleman" Maleficent fills in, rolling her eyes. Lily looked at her mom, an almost annoyed look on her face.

"Mom, come on, he hasn't been all that bad. What does he want Merlin for?"

"He wants his friend back. And his hero back. I really think it's as simple as that. He's not a bad man."

Maleficent looks thoroughly unconvinced and unimpressed. "I'm sure he made himself out to be quite the victim in his sordid tale to you, but trust me, it's more complicated than all that."

"He was clear as to why he hates you." Regina offers "And it's…it's close to home for me." She looks at Snow, thinking of the years she wasted mad at the wrong person.

She does not take her eyes off Snow, even when speaking to Maleficent again. "He blamed you for losing Guinevere. A lot of wasted years mad at the wrong person." Snow glanced back at her at those words, her eyes a bit watery as she nodded her head slightly. The two of them, always saying so much with eye contact and little gestures. No need for words.

Maleficent groans. "Arthur, the idiot, didn't have to let her go. Guinevere would have stayed with him. He let her go to hurt me. He knew she'd take Lancelot away."

"No." Regina argues. "He let her go because he didn't want her with her second choice. Again, quite understandable."

Robins face turns red. He knows. He knows why Regina relates to the story. He doesn't say a word, but she knows what's going through his mind anyway. Since the moment Regina had sat down next to him he hadn't touched her, or his food. His hands were in clenched fists on either side of his hips.

"I think our trip will do a lot of good to Camelot, and to Arthur. It feels good to….help instead of destroy sometimes." Regina ventures, popping a grape into her mouth. "Help him see the error of his ways. "

It is Lily – dark, tortured. angsty Lily, who answers for her mother. "It's a good idea. There's no need to hold grudges. We've all done some pretty regrettable things, we're not ones to cast stones."

Maleficent smiles at her daughter weakly and nods. "I'm not sure I've changed."

"You have" Regina said immediately "I know you have. I see it in the way you look at your daughter, in the way you are treating all of us now. You've changed."

"White can turn black, but black can never turn white." Maleficent recites the common motto as if it were written fact. It probably has been drilled into her for years. No wonder she never even considered herself a hero, even with as light and loving as she had become over the time Regina had known her.

"That's a load of crap." Snow snorts, cutting the tension. "What kind of world would this be if that were true?"

"There is no white and black anyway." Lily says softly. "We're all just shades of gray."

Regina eyes her suspiciously again. Lily is different. She doesn't understand exactly why, or how, but she is different than the girl she first met with Emma, even different from the girl she had helped transport into Camelot.

"You're right," Snow agrees, in a chirpy proud voice, as if she's impressed with the observation. "We've thought of things as black and white for far too long."

Regina takes Robin's hand next to her. He had stayed silent for the entire conversation, but she had felt his eyes on him.

"Can I speak to you?" He asks softly.

And she cannot find a reason to deny him, so she nods and says "Of course."

.::.

Regina walks with him, holding hands, to an opposite end of the massive cave Maleficent had created. They are somewhat hidden from the guards beyond a curve in the rock wall, and Regina is grateful for the slight – if temporary – privacy.

She knows what is coming. What he will ask of her. He wants to know what had happened last night. And suddenly the guilt and concern for him was overflowing. She wanted to tell him he had nothing to worry about, that her heart is his and his alone. But she can't say that, can't promise something when she feels she'd never get over the memories Zelena had showed her. She can never live happy with Robin knowing he'd always yearn for Marian.

She's resolved herself to be honest with him, to tell him this is over. But she looks into his eyes, and no one is more surprised as she is when she channels all that wanting, all that pent up energy, and throws her arms around him.

He hesitates, at first, as if he was fighting the hug, trying desperately to show her that he is strong, that he can handle all of this. Perhaps a part of him holds back because he's angry at her (he as a right to be, she's ignored him, she's mistreated him, she's spent time with another man right in front of him , and this is not how you care for someone you love, certainly not someone you love  _ this _ much). and part of him didn't want to hug her because for some absurd reason he was mad at her, mad at her for ignoring him, mad at her for paying attention to Arthur, for defending him, for sleeping with him, but she was hugging him and she felt so warm and inviting he couldn't help but hug back. He was fighting back tears.

She shouldn't be hugging him this tightly, shouldn't be swaying in his arms, shouldn't be indulging for so long she can't , and Regina knew that a guard had realized she wasn't around, had gone off in search of her. May already be there, watching them hug after she just came out of Arthur's tent in a thin nightgown. But somehow, she didn't care.

"So is there no more hope for us?" Robin chokes out, tightening his embrace.

It is not a question she feels can be answered so simply. Realistically, she cannot look at him in the eye and say there is no chance for reconciliation. Not when she feels so strongly, so deeply in completely love with him. But it's more than just love it's a  _ connection _ , it's that damn soulmate thing. The thing that makes her want to wrap herself inside his embrace and bare her entire self to him. Every fear every worry, every painful memory those that make her ashamed, those that terrify her still…all of it. How could it really be over if she feels like this? She is not going to stop loving him, probably not ever. But she can't picture a way to be with him – to be  _ his _ – and feel comfortable and wanted.

"I…" she moves out of his embrace just enough to look him in the eyes "I don't know how to..."

"Do you still love me?"

Of course she does, always will, but that is not quite the point, isn't it?

"Robin…I…"  _ Tell him _ a voice in her head begs, but she can't, it seems but words turn to ash in her mouth, and she can't avoid tearing up in her attempt to spit them out.

"Is this about Arthur?"

"He's got nothing to do with this. Nothing to do with  _ us.' _

In a way, yes. was Arthur had made her think about everything all over again. Arthur had opened up the wound, ever so unintentionally. Arthur had told her his story of his Guinevere, and it opened the flood gates.

"You like him." Robin said, steadying himself, moving out of her arms.

"It's not like that. I care about him, and I think we've had similar issues, similar problems…he's struggling with something not quite different than my own. I'm going to be spending time with him, while I'm here. Even though now that time will be voluntarily. I need you to not get upset. I need you to trust me. We can do good things here. There are preconceived notions…of people like me and Maleficent that we can dispel. But I need to—"

"You need to spend time with him." He finishes for her. There were tears in his eyes, left unshed, and his voice wavers. He takes a deep breath in, and he looks so vulnerable in this moment Regina barely recognizes him.

"But let's not pretend you don't have feelings for him, I don't know what happened last night, but today, the way you move around him, and talk to him, the way you look at him…" he struggles to explain something that seemed so natural, yet he can not put into words what he had observed.

"I..I know how it feels to be looked at  _ like that _ by you. I know what is going through his mind when he looks at you. Don't pretend there's not something there."

Regina looks down at his hands, not wanting to look into his eyes. He is right, of course, but the feelings weren't as strong for Arthur as they were for Robin, and it definitely wasn't love. She was attracted to him, she likes him, she cares about him far, far, too much far, far too quickly. But there is something she has with Robin that she would never have with Arthur.

"We don't need to pretend anything." Regina admits softly. "But I wouldn't be with him. I know how it feels to be someone's second choice. I won't let Arthur feel that again." By the end of her sentence some residual bitterness comes back, a heat of anger for Robin that she had no right to feel, over something he simply couldn't control. They were both ruined by circumstances they couldn't control and she didn't deserve to feel anger at him over this. Nevertheless...

"You're not my second choice." Robin chokes out.

"I know you believe that" Regina assures "But for me..I, I just can't."

"That's it then?" Robin asks, looking into her eyes. "After everything we've been through it's over between us?"

"I know what I feel now. And now, it doesn't feel possible to get back what we had." She forces herself to look into his bloodshot, teary eyes. If she is going to hurt him, she deserves to feel his pain. She canont help but add, "what we had was amazing, however brief."

She squeezes his hands and leaves, before she is overcome with emotion that might render her magic unstable. She leaves him to lean against the stone wall, miserable and wounded. He remains there, drowning in his own misery until Snow finds him, telling him they were off to the top of the mountain now, and he had to help carry what is left of the supplies.

.::.

When he returns to the others, Regina is smiling and laughing with Arthur, and Robin recognizes the way Arthur responds to her playful touches, her witty banter. There is no question he was in love with her. And she was indulging him, she was feeling him out. Maybe she was already in love with him too, or maybe she was hoping she'd fall in love with him soon. No matter what it is, it stabs at his gut, squeezes at his chest, makes breathing too difficult, such that he much look away. He misses her deeply.

He turns his back on the happy couple and focuses on loading supplies in a crude sort of backpack as they prepare to tredge up the small and winding path up the mountain.

It was over between them. And it was about time he realized this.


	11. Chapter 11

The path up the mountain is dangerous, the road is narrow in places, too narrow to truth with horses, and the path was rocky and uneven. Regina transformed the women's clothes into britches with good, strong boots, for hiking. Snow smiled appreciatively at her.

For much of the hike, Regina and Arthur linger behind, with two guards behind, keeping the king safe. They talked about childhood, and he shared his love and idolization of Merlin, which began at a young age. Regina talked about Rumplestilskin, and how he was her first magical idol, and quite a bad one at that. Arthur reached out to grab her hand, and she happily accepted.

They traveled until well after sunset. The mountain path becomes windy and cold, the lack of daylight making for a treacherous ascent up the twists and turns of the mountain.

Finally, Arthur agrees to stop for the night.

"Can you make a camp?" he asks Regina as they reach the next overlook.

He doesn't specify what she is allowed to poof into camp, so she adds as many luxuries as she can without overtaxing her magic. Fur lined tents with warm blankets and pillows, because, god, she missed pillows. She even included tents for the guards, despite the fact they looked at her like she would want to kill them, and despite the fact two of them had taken her communication device, effectively trying to take her from her son. She still owed them to return the favor, but for now, they could sleep well.

"Can your men make the fire? I don't want to overuse the magic in case I need it for later."

Arthur nods.

"I''ll be back." Regina holds her communication stone in her hand as an explanation. "Henry's calling."

She smiles and reaches for her hand, squeezing it tightly. She's not even sure why she does it, she's not a very affectionate person. At least, with near strangers. Still…

She focuses her thoughts on Henry and puts Arthur out of mind.

"How are you Henry?" Regina answers.

"Well, mom's doing pretty good today!" Henry is downright cheerful tonight, something he hasn't been in awhile. Immediately it sends up red flags. "She's actually been doing a lot better. But something did happen that has a lot of people worried."

"What happened?"

"Isaac. He escaped."

"Escaped?" She tries to keep her voice calm, tries to keep her features relaxed as and Henry nods animatedly in return.

"He was just gone from his cell one morning. No one knows what happened. I really thought that was going to make mom lose it. She told me awhile ago that you made it so she couldn't hurt Isaac, so the town is worried. But she's been okay. Said she has a plan to keep us protected."

_ And what a plan it was _ , Regina thinks. Emma has killed. She's killed Isaac, hidden the body somewhere. It's obvious. It should be obvious to Henry too, would be if his judgment wasn't clouded in the fact that Emma was his mom, and a mom who almost never lied to him.

"Mom, do you think you could undo the protection on Isaac? Since he's out of prison and we don't know what he could be up to, mom might need to use magic on him while you're away."

She keeps her expression calm. She doesn't scowl. "Yes, Henry, I'll figure something out."

"I thought you'd be more worried about him."

_ I never worry about the dead  _ Regina thought, but she just smiles and said she trusts that Emma would protect Henry, that Isaac had no real power to speak of.

In a way it's a lie, and in a way it's true. Isaac has no power, as a dead person. And she still does trust Emma to protect Henry. She won't turn on him, not so fast.

Besides, letting on that she knew what had happened would only make her son worry more. But she can notify someone else who's feeling she cares less for. "Henry…. Is that Hook behind you?"

"Yeah, mom's here too, she's in the kitchen. Want to say hi?" He sounds confused, and why shouldn't he be? Hook isn't exactly her favorite person.

"Why don't you let me speak to Hook for just a second alone. Go see if your mother needs any help." Her voice held that sweet, false-stillness to it, a quality that came across saccharine and insincere to her, but it was better than sounding scared or angry.

"'Hello your majesty," Hook grabs the stone and walks with it. "How are you this fine day?"

"How is she?" Regina asks, not wanting to continue down the path of their usual banter.

"Well, she's…almost herself. It doesn't feel the same, though. She insists she's got it, handled it. In fact, it's been two days and she hasn't mentioned the dagger yet."

Regina scowls.

"I take it that's not a good sign to you?"

Regina rolls her eyes.  _ You think? _

She's almost certain that Emma is now in possession of the dagger. What's worse, Emma had probably just murdered her first victim. She's almost certain the darkness had taken over.

But luckily, she's almost certain Emma still has enough good in her to be reasoned with – for now, anyway.

"Perhaps you could try a bit harder to keep her thoughts from ever going…evil? Or dark?"

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

How do you stop someone from going dark, from surrendering to evil? If she had known the answer to that question, her entire life would be quite different, wouldn't it? "You're…needy" she mused. "Ask Henry to be as needy as you. Distract her. Invent some sort of crisis for her to solve that doesn't involve killing people. Maybe Henry doesn't like any of his clothes anymore and he needs her to buy him new ones. Maybe you…want something that she has to spend considerable time providing you."

Hook chuckles cheekily at the implication and – god no, that's the last image she wants in her mind.

Regina winces distastefully. "Oh, give me a break, that's not what I meant."

"Maybe not but my mind already went there a few days ago. It's been a very pleasant distraction for us both but I can only engage that distraction so many times a day."

She shudders. "Oh god, enough. Is there anything else she could help you with?"

"Getting my hand back?"

"A surprisingly good idea." It truly is, despite the fact Hook came up with it. Regrowing and reattaching a major body part, especially a complex one, like a hand….it takes time to research. And even if Emma finds the solution fast, perfecting the magic involved to reattach it…well, that's not easy.

She says her goodnights and goodbyes to Henry after getting assurances that Neal and Roland are safe and sound.

As much as she tries to be optimistic, she knows Emma is a ticking timebomb, minutes from exploding.

Things are bad. Things are very bad. But she cannot think about that right now. She had to think about how to keep her worries from the others. If Emma finds out that Regina knows she has already surrendered to the darkness, Emma may react…violently.

Plus, what good would telling Snow or David do? They'd never believe  _ their  _ Emma could ever commit a bad act. They would never believe Emma could be as weak as to succumb to the same darkness that she and Rumple had succumbed to, and she wasn't in the mood to be insulted on top of everything else, not tonight.

There's food out, meat and bread, a boring but satisfying meal. There is also wine, and god, she needs wine now. Anything to dull her aching mind, anything to make it easier to talk to everyone without giving away the fact she is scared shitless for her son right now. She just needs to relax. If she can just calm down, perhaps she can figure out a solution to this mess.

Regina fills her cup high and drinks deeply, watching the fire and willing her fears to quiet.

She sees her friends walking towards her, a sense of dread filling her. She drinks deeply from her glass again, willing herself to stay calm and detached.

She hands Snow the stone, doing her best to look unaffected. "You can talk to Henry if you'd like. You have to focus, think of him really deeply, and he'll appear. He just called me."

"Are you alright?" Snow asks, and she was searching her eyes for something.

"Perfectly fine. Just exhausted. If you'll excuse me." She sounds cooler than she had hoped, and Snow seems to have picked up on her tone. And maybe she would be asking her a whole host of follow-up questions, but the woman is too distracted with the prospect of talking to Henry and Neal to bother too much.

Regina catches Robin's eye as he follows Snow and Charming, waiting for his turn to talk to Roland. He looks miserable. Perhaps it is an illness or injury, or just his residual anger and frustration at her that has him looking so pained. It doesn't feel good.

Now is the time to confide in him, tell him everything, and work out a plan.

They work well together. Though they had not been together long, they had face many obstacles together. It started during that year in the Enchanted Forest, the year when she was separated from Henry. They had worked together then, before she had realized he was her soulmate, before she let herself believe in soulmates at all. Even if all he had only offered her support, he had been there for her, and she hadn't quite realized how nice that had felt until it wasn't there anymore.

She had been alone before. For decades she had been the only one aware of passage of time in Storybrooke and she managed quite well, didn't she? She had managed well on her own when her mother left her, when Rumple left her, when Maleficent left her. This will be no different.

It would just all be easier if he stopped looking at her like that.

In that way. With that pained but ever-understanding look in his eyes that makes her worry about how dependent she had become on him, and so quickly.

So she pulls herself away from his gaze and takes another deep sip of this wine…or was it mead? She drinks deeply, searching for a solution to the Emma Problem. One that she needs  _ no one's  _ help to solve.

Snow and David sit beside her, murmuring nonsense about their phone call back hom. Snow mentions that Camelot has served Lily well, because she has become such a wonderful girl. Regina muttered half-hearted replies, not letting up on her drink.

Robin returns from talking to Roland, fake smile on his face. The emotion of the last few days is seeping into his voice, ruining any chance Regina may have had to relax.

Alcohol isn't helping. Sitting with her family isn't helping.

Both are making things worse.

Perhaps she can talk to Mal. The dragon didn't care much for the people of Storybrooke, but she has a soft spot for children. She will understand.

But Mal has a guard on either side of her, and Regina remembers Arthur telling her how fearful the guards are of Regina and Mal being together.

So no, seeking Mal's help would not be an option.

She gulps the drink in her hand. Drinking used to calm her, used to dull her anxiety, and why wasn't it working now?

She finds herself moving towards the now-strong fire, where Arthur sits with his guard. He dismisses the man immediately upon seeing Regina, motioning for her to sit.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asks, putting his arm around her.

Was it that obvious? She moves to grab a jug and refill her glass.

"Nothing I can't handle."

But her voice doesn't sound nearly as convincing as she would like it.

Arthur raises his eyebrows. "That bad, huh?

"I can't let them see me like this." She explains, "I don't need them….surrounding me, asking if I am okay. Not now."

Arthur nods. "Come here. Into my tent. Then they won't know you're upset. They'll just think you've gone to ravage me."

Regina can only manage a weak smile before she's in his tent, sitting down, holding her knees against her head, finally letting herself voice her emotions.

"I'm terrified." She admits, "I'm fairly certain Emma has killed, which means it's only a matter of time until she completely loses herself to darkness and I…my son…I was so stupid. I was so sure she wouldn't hurt him I put him in harm's way. He is right there. And if he sees her doing something dark, he's going to intervene, and he's going to try to stop her, and that's how people die."

She's shaking now, her words are wavering, she keeps repeating the words "stupid" and "all my fault" and Arthur is there, holding her, telling her it's ok. He's rubbing her back, telling her she can't blame herself, telling her she did her very best.

Did she? Her mind was fuzzy from the drink, emotions clouding any form of judgment, and all she wanted was a moment to not feel….this. Talking to him hadn't helped alleviate whatever burden she felt right now.

Arthur's wiping away her tears, and then he's kissing them away.

It doesn't feel right, but it feels better than what she feels now. She's familiar with the feeling. It was all she had in the way of intimacy for so long. She gives in, lets him kiss her, returning all of the passion but none of the love.

Arthur pulls back, his eyes are dark and filled with lust. "I'm sorry—" he starts, but she won't let him apologize, she kisses him back. She's used sex in this way before, to distract her from downward spiraling due to her fear, or anger, or self-loathing. It's a pleasant distraction, as far as distractions go.

But perhaps if her mind wasn't clouded by cheap mead and fear, she would have remembered that this was how the evil queen handled her uncertainty, her fears, self-doubt, and negative emotions. This is not Regina.

Arthur looks…conflicted. Almost guilty. "You're not in the best place, as much as I want to do this…."

But he doesn't push her away, she is feeding him kisses and she knows that he wants her, that he's wanted her for some time now.

"God you're beautiful" he moans into her mouth, "You have been driving me absolutely crazy since the moment I first saw you."

It is like being starving and craving a steak dinner and getting a perfectly cooked lobster instead. It was not what she craves, still it was warm and filling, and staved off the hunger.

She could indulge a little longer, just take the sex, and the orgasm, for the night.

He's too much of a gentleman to lay wandering hands on her, so she does it for him, she moves his hand over her breast, and he groans.

She's thinking of Robin now, it's guilt, but it's mixed with anger, because he had, so many times, with someone else, and never thought of her. And if he could do this with someone else, as if it didn't matter, she can too. She  _ should _ be able to do this.

Arthur tugs at her shirt, peels it down to reveal the corset underneath. He groans as she takes off her shirt entirely. giving him a clear view of her body in a corset and tight, riding pants. He began to kiss the tops of her breasts, only the areas above her corset. He pulls her over his lap, so she is straddling him on the ground, her cleavage in his face, his hands on her back.

She's craving attention, and touch, and hell, sex, for days now. This is what she wants, but not who she wants it with. She pushes those thoughts out of her mind. Arthur could be who she wanted, as long as she didn't think of Robin.

"You don't have to be a gentleman," she assures, lifting his hands to her corset ties, urging him to release her from the restricting garment.

He works fast, releasing the corset so her breasts fall free into his hands. He sucks her right breast, flicking his tongue over her nipple. She moans indulgently, god, she's so sensitive there. He gives the left breast the same treatment, until she is gasping and gripping his hair and pulling his face deeper into her chest.

Her body is responding on impulse now, almost animalistically, despite the fact a voice in her head kept telling her something wasn't right.

He flips her down, so a knee is between her legs, his other knee on the side of her body, kissing her furiously. He pulls back and tries to catch her eyes. But no, she doesn't want that. There's too much he might see in her expression right now. She shuts her eyes tight, as if that will stop him from reading her too well.

She's persistent, and she is fucking rocking her hips back and forth with what appears to be intense need. But her eyes won't open.

He wants her, she knows he does, but when he draws back, she's surprised.

"Regina…" he says "Know that I have never wanted anything more but…it's not right."

Regina sits up, incredulous. "Why?" She knows this isn't right, it's absolutely wrong. But for some reason she still feels herself wanting it.

"You're hurt, you've….been drinking…." He trails off and then says it. "And I don't want you to regret this, with me."

Regina sighs in frustration, and works on putting her corset back on. "Fine."

"Do you love him?" Arthur asks, quietly. "Still?"

She groans, and shrugs. The answer is obvious. "And I hate him, all at once."

Arthur nods. "And look if you want to, when you've had some time to think, I have no problem helping you make him suffer, or get back at him. I'll offer, my whole self to you for that endeavor. But…I don't think you want to do that."

"I'm… sorry. I do find you pretty.…I mean, if there wasn't a Robin, I would have done this earlier. And, you can tell, I…"

"You're attracted to me, and you like me, and you seem to care about me." Arthur surmises "but there's something missing"

"I'm sorry." She truly is sorry. She is drawn to him in some small way, just not at the same level she's drawn to Robin. "It's so close…"

He smiles and shakes his head, drawing out a long sigh. "You should go. let me sleep this off."

It takes her a second to process the fact she was being shot down by the very man who had been unable to stop ogling her the entire journey. She thanks him – muttering something about kindness, dresses quickly and leaves the tent.

Regina makes her way to Robin. He is still eating, with the others, and his back was to Arthur's tent. Maybe he doesn't even know what just happened.

He probably doesn't, judging by how he reacts to seeing her walking towards him. He holds an arm out to her. And she shouldn't take the comfort, shouldn't, but does. She snuggles into him, feeling overwhelmingly guilty but not wanting to break the moment.

"I've missed you so much" he breathes into her ear. They have seen each other all day, but she knows what he means. Just touching, just hugging, it feels like coming home.

"You alright?" he asks in a whisper. She wonders what gives her away. Maybe it was the wine on her breath. Maybe it's just that he can understand her that he sees her in a way that few people do.

And if he knows her that well, she can at least be honest. "No I'm not alright. I need you….I need to talk alone to you."

He looks….relieved. Happy. "My tent?"

Regina bites her lip. Arthur's ever silent guards are probably getting a kick out of the musical chairs situation Regina had played between Robin and Arthur. But who really cares, at this point?

She enters his tent and laid down immediately, tears beginning to form. Robin is at her side, offering her a comforting touch, open arms to lean into.

She had meant to apologize to him, to tell him he deserved better than how she had treated him, to tell him she didn't deserve to draw his comfort and counsel in a time such as this. And yet the first words she spills are of her own damn fears.

Fears of what she thinks Emma did, what she fears Emma might now do if she has already killed. She tells him everything she had told Arthur, in a slurred, emotional voice. But unlike Arthur, Robin actually listens. Truly listens. And also unlike Arthur, he's there to remind her how strong Henry was. How good of a mother she was to raise him, how many people were there to help Henry – Belle, and the Merry Men, Hook, Granny, Ruby, so many people in town loved Henry and would protect him, would help him with whatever was needed. Regina had done the right thing. And he knew she had because he had left Roland there after thinking this all out.

It was what she needed to hear, what Arthur couldn't have told her, couldn't have known to say. Robin though, in their short time together, knew how to assure and comfort Regina without being condescending or viewing her as weak.

Robin made her feel better, soothed her worries, and she needed him. She hugged him tightly, fighting tears as her armor was gradually stripped, as she gradually unburdened herself of all her doubts and continued to soothe her.

"I should have come to you with all of this days ago," she admits, finally crying into his chest.

"I agree." Robin responds, "But this trip has been complicated. If a little bit of wine has brought you back to me, I can't say I'm upset. " It's nice, being in his arms. It's selfish, considering everything else, but it's nice.

He kisses her brow, then peppers her face with reassuring, soft kisses. And no, she doesn't deserve that right now.

"Something happened with Arthur," she says, choking back her sobs for a second.

"I don't care." But that defiant tone makes it clear that he  _ does  _ care. "You don't owe me anything, we are not together." His voice waivers and cracks, and Regina winces.

"It wasn't much, it was just, tonight…."

"Tonight?" Robin looks absolutely  _ livid.  _ She closes her eyes in shame.

"I'm sorry, I was just—"

"Regina you're upset and vulnerable and you've had a lot of wine and barely had anything to eat and…" He blows out a deep, frustrated breath. "He took advantage of you."

"No, he didn't, I did it. I was upset and worried about Emma and I needed to talk it out, and…I just wanted to feel…something." God, she's pathetic.

"When you are upset you come to me, do you understand?" He looks up at her, there's such intensity in his eyes, such conviction in his tone.

"It's not that easy." She feels weak suddenly, pathetic.

"Do you see this?" He lifts his arm and points to the lion tattoo on his wrist. "This means we're destined to be together. And maybe it's not as lovers, and maybe it's not married happily ever after, maybe it just means that we rely on one another in times of trouble, over everyone else. I helped you in the vault," he reminded her "I could have helped you here. You don't need him. You have me. You don't have to return my feelings, or feel bad about using me to feel better, I don't care. Let me take care of this. From now on."

She shook her head. "No, you don't deserve this…"

"But you expect me to come to you with my problems." He reminds her. "You already told me you were there for me, even when I tried to push you away."

"It's different" Regina says pointedly. "I know it hurt when I….when I said we couldn't be together. I hurt you. I don't get to hurt you and then rely on you. I can't burden you with me anymore, not after I already hurt you and I see how much I have, I can't…"

She's in tears, now, messy tears, her voice choked and high pitched, sniffling and probably terrible looking, but Robin doesn't seem to care. He takes her hand in both of his, rubbing his thumbs over her palms in soothing circles.

"Regina, I don't pretend I don't want more, from you. I don't pretend that it hurts to know I won't have that. But if I can't have that, I still want you in my life. I still want to be there for you, I still want you there for me. I'll take you, Regina, in whatever way you'll let me be in my life. It might hurt sometimes to be so close but not fully be…what I think we should have been. But what is worse is not having you in my life at all. We're better together. Please, come to me when you are upset. I'll do the same with you. Don't worry about sending mixed signals, or anything. Just do me this favor."

She doesn't deserve him. There is so much to say in response to this declaration, but her mind is a mess.

"I'll try." Regina whispers, her eyes already cloudy with tears. "and I want to help you in any way I ever can, and I know how much you've been through and –"

"Shhh," Robin kissed her forehead and drew her in close to him. "What's ailing me can wait, if you don't mind." It wasn't time to press him on this. And to be fair, she isn't in the right state of mind to give him the support he needs. So she nods her head and presses into him further.

"Can you sleep here tonight?" He asks hesitantly, as if he regrets the words the moment they pass his lips.

Before she can think of an answer, Robin adds, "it's just that - I do sleep better with you, as you uh, know."

If this is him asking for help, then she owes it to him. God, she will take any excuse to sleep beside him. She doesn't deserve this type of comfort, but she craves it so desperately.

She agrees to stay.

He leaves the tent, saying he is going to make a snack. She knows he's probably giving her time to change, though she ops to poof into a comfortable slip. He brings her back some bread and the water that he's no doubt lifted from the guards. He rubs arms down her side and urges her to eat and drink. It's only then she realizes he's worried about her, he's trying to keep her from getting a killer hangover.

He continues to rub her arms, and back and neck as she eats, just giving her that warm little smile. She makes a noise, almost like a purr, and that spurs him on, she thinks. He kisses her neck, strokes her arms, keeps his touches firm and soothing, but still not anywhere inappropriate.

She looks at him and offers a shy smile. God, he's attractive. And he's also….fully dressed. While she is in a little nightgown. And that doesn't seem fair, not at all. "Do you plan on sleeping in your clothes?" she asks

Robin shrugs.

"You don't have to do that. I'm not scared of you. Be comfortable." The offer isn't just made for him. The wine is wearing off, and the feeling of guilt over being with another man was getting to her. She wants him close to her.

He strips down to his briefs.

She stares at him a bit more than she should.

He's a very, very attractive man. She's sure, however,, that no matter what he looked like, she'd still find him irresistible. He is her soulmate afterall, and he is kind and generous and a wonderful, caring father.

But let's be honest. He looks the way he does, and he is  _ very  _ good looking.

And respectful. He's laying down next to her, so careful not to touch her, and it's very sweet, and very kind, and very much the opposite of what she wants right now.

"You can, you can…we can touch, I mean, if you want to we can… "

He gets the hint. She will not ask, won't beg him to cuddle her like an emotionally needy, clingy girlfriend as much as she might want to. And luckily, with Robin, she doesn't have to ask.

He wraps his arms around her and holds her tight against him. She snuggles into his chest. His bare skin is warm.

They fit together so perfectly it could just about make her cry. He's so great to her. And she hadn't been there for him when he needed her.

"Do you forgive me?" She asks guiltily.

"For what, love?" Robin shifts, tilts his head down and plants a kiss on her brow.

"For hurting you. For….Arthur."

"I forgive you for distancing yourself from me. I don't care what you did with Arthur. That man…I hate him. Seeing you two together has been driving me absolutely crazy with jealousy. But then I realized you had to watch me with Marian, and I was angry at myself. You didn't betray me when you laid with him. You…told me you weren't mine anymore." He kissed her neck. God she loves when he kisses her there.

"And anyway," He says, his voice a bit more steady, perhaps emboldened by the way she's responded to his touch, "You could have gone out and fucked every man in this realm and I'd make peace with it if it meant you came back into my arms and said we had another shot."

The words his her hard, have her biting back tears. She wants to be with him. She doesn't need to fuck an entire kingdom to know that. "Even if you aren't upset with me, I still feel guilty."

"Maybe because you felt like you were betraying your heart. You weren't being true to yourself. I know the feeling." His voice cracks, and she realizes he's speaking about what just happened with Zelena.

She strokes his cheek with her thumb, softly, and lovingly. She could ignore this discussion, and wait until they get back, or she could have it now.

Before they started this journey, she had asked they remain friends. She had begged him to just not push or talk about Zelena during this time, so she could keep her emotions in check and thoughts on Camelot instead of being tormented with memories of Zelena.

But frankly, Robin needs to talk. Or at least…it seems like he has to talk. So she will let him.

"You felt like that…with her?"

She looks up at him, watches how he swallows heavy and struggles to respond. Then he draws her into a tight hug, but still says nothing.

They hug for several seconds, until she starts to worry.

"Robin?" she asks, pushing out of the hug to look at him, to make sure he's alright.

"Every night." His eyes are wet with tears, his voice is wavering. "I felt like that every night I was with her. That whole time."

Oh.

It hadn't looked that way, not when she was able to view those memories Zelena recorded. But she doesn't doubt he is telling the truth. He sounds so sincere.

"Oh Robin, I am so, so sorry."

Her apologies are interrupted, however, because Robin is talking now, and he needs to get this out, she can tell. He tells her much he had missed her, how he was never happier than he was when he was with her, how wrong it all felt when he was with Zelena, how hard he tried to love her, and what a fool he feels like now.

Something washes over her, a new type of understanding, one she didn't have before. Those memories she had viewed may have looked real, and they may have cut deep, but what he's telling her now is true. She knows it is.

"I was a horrible liar," he admits, cradling her head against her chest. "Everything I said and did for those months, I just ruined and hurt everyone by living that lie over and over."

They lie in silence, hugging for a bit.

"Forgive me." he pleads, echoing her previous request.

"I never blamed you for any of this."

"Please forgive me." He urges.

"There's nothing to forgive." She repeats.

"Regina…"

"She did something irreparable to you. You're the real victim. But I can't stop myself from hurting over you and Zelena, I want to stop hurting over it, though. I wish I could get over all of this. Tell me you understand, and that you don't blame yourself." He strokes her cheek but does not reply. "Robin, tell me."

Robin sighs. "Alright, I do. We will get through this. And we'll be stronger for it. But we will take it slow, ok?"

Regina looks up at him in awe, at the man who had lost everything who had been through so much turmoil, the man who is now comforting her when he had no right to be a functioning human being after all the crap he had been put through by her own sister. Yet Robin remains so loving, so concerned about her feelings. She will never be able to repay him for this.

Regina wants him in that moment, wants to draw his lips to hers and feel him, to be with him again, to tell him that she really does believe, at this very moment, that they will get through this. But she ruined the ability to act on these feelings when she kissed Arthur. She couldn't kiss Robin tonight.

She doesn't respond to him, doesn't say a word. Just nods and presses a kiss to his hand.

They just lie side-by-side, caressing one another as they just take it all in.

"Uncle." Robin blurts out after a few moments.

Well that's a random word to say out of nowhere.

"Hmm?" Regina asks

"I'm conceding defeat. Isn't that what you are supposed to say when you give up? Henry taught me. I have to know….I won't be mad and I won't stop loving you either way. What happened with Arthur?"

Oh.

Regina winces "I was...upset... about Henry and Emma, I was worried…"

Robin smiles bitterly, he doesn't need to know the circumstances of how, he just wants to know how much. "I know how it started, Regina."

"So at first it was just hugging, and then kissing my…tears" she realizes how gentle and romantic it sounded, even if it didn't feel that way. She saw Robin roll his eyes and held her breath, waiting for a fight.

"And then, kissing… and then, we got partially undressed – just the top parts… and then we stopped."

"He took your clothes off?" His body goes tense. He definitely doesn't want to know the answer to this, but she's through hiding things with him.

She shrugs. "As I said, not  _ everything. _ But yes."

He looks absolutely miserable, and a little angry, and she winces when meets his disdainful look. He catches the stare and immediately apologizes. "I'm not trying to make you guilty. I just wanted to know. Although…now I kind of wish I hadn't." He sits up, grimacing. "Because now I'm picturing it."

She knows where he is coming from. It's one thing to assume something had happened. Quite another to have it confirmed.

Regina rises to sit next to him. "I know, I know how that feels…." Robin gives her an understanding nod and pats her shoulder.

"So with Arthur. You never touched…" And Regina can tell that he doesn't really want to know, unless the answer is no. He stops mid-sentence and just looks at her, hoping she'll realize she doesn't have to answer.

"Below the belt? No Robin," She shakes her head, cupping his face. "No no no."

He breathes a sigh of relief and Regina laughs into it, though her mind wanders to Zelena, to how she wishes he had also not ventured any further with her sister. The circumstances were different, oh so different, but she still wished it.

"It wouldn't have changed anything if you did." Robin offers, perhaps realizing where her mind just went.

"I don't understand why you aren't upset at me right now." She responds, looking into his eyes.

"The same reason you weren't upset at me when you found out about Zelena." He shrugs plainly, as if it were completely the same thing. But it wasn't. Not even close.

"That was different. That was your wife. And I told you…you had to leave me."

"You told me you had to leave me this time too." Robin reminds.

Regina shakes her head. "But I was the one who ended things. You didn't want to. It's different. I shouldn't have been letting him kiss me. At least no…with you close by."

He rolls his eyes. "I can handle all that. I did worry that you had fallen in love with him, though." Robin concedes softly. It's an unspoken question, one she is happy to answer.

"I didn't." Regina says honesly, "He's…not for me."

What she meant was  _ He's not my soulmate  _ but she wasn't ready to go there. Instead she opened the wound, if only partially, to admit, in somewhat of a cheeky tone - "You can rest assured that I'll never feel for anyone what I feel for you."

"And I you." Robin's words hang heavy in the air. Regina stays silent. She doesn't want to get into her own insecurities and doubts. Not now.

"And I," Robin adds, grabbing her tightly "Will spend as long as it takes convincing you of that." He rolls her onto her back, and then pins her to the bedding, grabbing her wrists and placing them above her head. "Even if it takes the rest of my life."

He's cute and cocky and confident in this moment, and it's wonderful.

He steals a kiss from her then, a gentle peck against the small smile her lips had formed, and then set her free, laying beside her.

She turns and snuggles in his arms and concentrated on his heart and breath and closeness, everything about him that made her heart and stomach flutter, and she feels so nice and warm.

Regina falls into a deep, comfortable sleep within minutes of being in his arms. They have more to talk about, at least if she is going to be his lover again, but in those moments before she drifts, Regina can't imagine a life as good as one where she gets to lie in Robin's arms.


	12. Chapter 12

It feels like moments have passed, and then he's waking her up with soft nuzzles, his jaw and lips pressing against her neck, and Regina smiles, feeling light and exuberant, despite the slight pain in her head ready to tackle anything.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks shyly, turning into his embrace so she's facing him (the movement reminds her she had a bit to drink last night, but the slight dizziness in her head subsides quickly – there's no hangover of which to speak of). She knows the answer to her question, can feel the hazy mist of deep sleep that drips off of both of them. Still, it's nice to hear.

"Like a baby," he confirms, nuzzling into her neck and kissing her again. He kisses once more and then ventures to ask, "Is this okay?"

His voice is low and raspy, just short of needy, and she knows he's been trying to give her space, but it sounds like it hasn't been easy. It's not easy for her either, not when she's pressed up against him, underdressed and warm against him, and there was some reason they weren't supposed to be together, some talking they were yet to do (for god sakes she was bare chested in Arthur's arms a few hours ago), but in this moment, in this hazy serene moment between sleeping and truly waking, she doesn't much care.

"More than okay," she responds, pressing a kiss to his chest. He groans at that, holds her tighter against him, moving his arms up and down her back. She sighs contently, allows her mind to drift into thoughts of taking him right here in this tent, fuck every thought of the past, every reason why both she and Robin deserve their time.

But then she remembers he's hurting too, and there's so much unsaid.

"Robin," she sighs as his hand wanders to her ass, smoothing over her curve, his touch somehow soft and firm at the same time. He cups her cheeks gently, and her hips rock into him like a reflex.

"Too much?" he asks, but his hands don't leave her ass, his beard tickles against her.

It's not too much.

"No," she all but moans, "but we should probably..." his hands knead her ass, and she rocks into him, it's morning and it shouldn't be flattering that he's hard against her, but it is, "…talk," his hands encourage her to rock harder against him, and she goes willingly, grinding to relieve the ache she already has for him, "…make sure there's nothing left between us," he draws her in and sucks at the place where her neck meets her shoulder.

"God, Robin," she moans. And when he responds with an  _ mmm  _ she all but forgets her train of thought, wraps her leg around his body and presses into him harder, her mouth searches for his, drawing him into a kiss.

The should have stale morning breath that should ruin everything, but it's been far too long since they kissed, and it somehow tastes sweet, and wonderful, and she just wants more.

And right when he moans, she  _ still  _ thinks of her sister, can't help but flash and see the way he reacted to Zelena in bed like this, and it kills the mood. She's frustrated at her own mind not being able to move past it (she should, god damn it, she should). She considers just ignoring the voice in her head and taking this, having  _ this,  _ but then she thinks of what Robin must think of her, and what just happened last night.

She almost slept with another man a few hours ago, and here she is, rocking against his erection and very obviously wanting more.

"We still have things to sort out," she whispers as she breaks the kiss, and he nods in response, kisses her deeply again.

"I know," he answers, "But we will," he kisses her cheek "work them out," a kiss to her nose, "right?"

They will. She knows they will. Yet somehow the question makes her feel shy, has her hiding her gaze from him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear and smiling.

"That tent isn't soundproof, unfortunately."

Mal sounds a bit bored, perhaps a bit annoyed, and Regina snickers into Robin's chest, and feels the gentle shake that lets her know he finds the whole thing amusing too.

"Excuse me," she says as she magics some clothes on and goes out to meet her friend.

Maleficent smiles when she sees Regina exiting Robin's tent. "You're really getting around, aren't you?" She asks, more amused than accusatory.

Regina rolls her eyes. "I'll make my way through the guards, next."

"I've been with one of them. Horrible in the sack, at least in his dragon form." Maleficent pointed subtly to the guard on the edge of camp. She giggles. Maleficent. Giggling. It's a sight for Regina to behold. "He doesn't even know it was me."

It was like being in high school girl with her old best friend. "So.." Regina brushes fingers through her hair, a nervous habit that always seems to heighten around Mal. "How long until we get to the crystal cave?"

"We'll be there today," she answers. Her eyes were wild in anticipation. She looks –  _ excited  _ – for some reason, so unlike Maleficent. She's… well, Regina can't place it. She seems anxious. There's a flush to her cheeks, she looks younger, and there's that spark on her eye she hasn't seen in quite some time, and oh, that's it.

"You're…. _ happy _ ." Regina murmurs, as Mal let's lose a thin smile and the final piece of the puzzle fits.

Maleficent contemplates her conclusion this and then shrugs. "Merlin left a clue for me. The crystal. I haven't seen him in a long time. He either wants to destroy me, or wants only me to find him, to help him. Either way…I'm terribly flattered."

It's a type of emotion only Regina can understand. Whether he wants to battle her to her death, scream at her, or embrace her, Merlin had given Maleficent quite a bit of thought.

It's always nice to be remembered, isn't it?

.::.

They grab a quick breakfast, and are off, Maleficent leading the way, reminding people to step lightly, so they don't lose the element of surprise.

Regina resumes her place with Arthur, and apologizes for last night, thanking him profusely for being a gentleman. He smiles and grabs he hand. "I feel I am ready for sainthood, turning you away. When I am judged at the end of my life, I shall name this to the god above as the most amazing good deed I ever did."

He can sound so authentic while spewing such nonsense. So she puts on a thin smile and raises her eyebrows. "You are being far too complimentary."

Arthur just shakes his head. "Men have waged wars over women less than you," he says, again with such sincerity she can not help but, scoff and roll her eyes.

"You lay it on thick."

"Is it working?"

Regina smiles and looked at him, sympathetically. "You have no idea how sorry I am. But no."

He shrugs, almost as if he understands. "I've been there. After Guinevere, I used the affection of more than one warm body to dull the pain."

The implication she used him (true as it may be) upsets her more than she thought it would. Maybe it reminds her of being used in her younger days, but she cannot help but correct him.

So she does, looks at him until she holds his eyes, and voice clearly, "that is not all you are to me."

"No," He seems to concede, "but I'm not your archer." He doesn't like to use Robin's name, it seems. As if he prefers not to think of Robin individually, with his own thoughts and feelings, his own feelings for Regina, his own love for her.

But regardless of how he wants to see Robin, he seems to know there's something deep between them.

She can't argue with him, so she offers him her hand, squeezes it gently because, yes, he was speaking the truth, but the truth can be unfair.

"Do not pity the king of one of the most powerful kingdoms of all the land," Arthur teases. "There are no shortage of women after me. I am just highly selective. But perhaps…I will not confine my search to high born girls anymore. You have taught me more than one thing. If the queen can be with a thief, I'm sure the king can be with someone more common." He flashes that sincere smile that warms her heart. It feels good to be helpful to someone, to improve someone's perspective, for a change.

This was good.

"Speaking of things you've taught me, it's high time I have a talk with my sister. But I doubt she will hear what I may have to say now, after all this time." His eyes focus on Mal and Lily. Mal looks so much lighter today, in the last few days really. Younger, even…innocent in a way. Regina could see a hint of what Mal might have looked in hee teenage years. Before heartache and isolation burned and hardened her.

"Say no more," Regina says with a sigh, "Let me talk to her."

She quickens her pace, scurrying past Robin to link arms with Maleficent.

"I believe your brother wishes to apologize…" she says, and Lily's eye widen while Maleficent rolls to the back of her head. Lily bows out of the conversation quickly, knowing they needed their space.

"I'm sure that's what he told you, dear," she scoffs. "But I have no need for the pretty words of a King trying to impress his latest conquest." Her eyes settle on Regina pointedly.

She's…entertained. Not upset, not frustrated. Just amused with Arthur, and his latest outtakes.

"Hear him out," Regina pleads. "Keep the peace. For now."

"Oh, fine. What's the harm in humoring the poor man," she says, throwing a look back to Arthur with a wry smile. "Look at that face, he's play hf the part of a love sick puppy, staring at you like that."

Regina couldn't help but follow her gaze. Arthur looked away quickly. His eyes darting to some uninteresting shrubbery that lined the walking path. "I let him down gently."

Mal just scoffs and mutters under his breath that he doesn't  _ need  _ to be let down easy, that he can handle this on himself.

For awhile they walk together in silence, Regina giving Mal time to absorb her request and reconsider it.

But when she speaks it's on quite a different subject.

"Does he know about  _ us _ ?" Mal asks, a wicked smile on her face, tongue peaking out to lick her lips, as her eyes wandered up and down Regina's form pointedly.

Regina chuckles darkly. "Arthur? No, not unless you've told him. It certainly hasn't come up..."

"Not Arthur, though…" Maleficent hums, looking back towards him, "Yes, I'd love to see the look on his face when he found out that his sister beat him to the punch yet again."

"Mal…" Regina warns "We don't have time to gloat right now. Emma's...growing more dangerous"

Mal growls a bit at the mention of Emma, "Fine, I'll wait until Merlin is found before I reveal that to him." She turns back to Robin, who hasn't taken his eyes off the two of them since Regina came up beside her.

"And forest boy? Does he know about us?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "We haven't had much time to talk about our past lovers."

"Does  _ anyone _ know about us?" Maleficent presses. After all these years she still had a commanding presence in front of Regina. She still had that hypnotizing stare that made her feel as if she were the only person in the world.

"I don't know. Do they?" Regina responded cooly, unable to avoid cracking a thin smile. She didn't speak much of her past, certainly not over matters of her heart.

"Ashamed of us, are you, little one?" she asks with a thin smile.

Regina shakes her head and laughs. "Oh no, not at all."

She wasn't. She'd never be.

Regina thinks back to their time together – brief, disjointed, chaotic, but passionate, and fierce, empowering, and almost loving at times. When she first came to Maleficent she was but a child – married with a step daughter, perhaps, dreaming of a bloody sinister revenge, perhaps…but still just a child. She was certainly not a sorceress at that time – could barely start a fire in her hand, let alone master the very meticulous art of curses and potions. In so many ways she was a heartbroken child vying for the approval and attentions of her mother, her teacher, and, though she would never admit it, her husband.

She hated that she was so lonely, so desperate for interaction, that she ever craved his approval, and yet, there were times when she did, and the guilt she bore for those moments gave her nightmares, tormented her, and she told her the nights he sent for her, when he undressed her and touched her and entered her and climaxed within her while crying another woman's name, why those nights were karma for the moments she wished he would just pay her some attention, talk to her, take her away from the painful isolation she felt.

Maleficent had changed that.

They both had been broken when they met – in different ways. Maleficent was an experienced, beautiful wise sorceress who lost her confidence and Regina was a young, still somewhat naïve, angry little thing which much to learn. They complemented one another, and just as Regina helped Maleficent find her spark, so did Maleficent help Regina find hers.

There he been late night celebrating that gave way to gentle touches and kind compliments that turned into raw confessions, confessions neither woman would dare to the world, or to anyone else. But they felt that between them, from the time they first met – that kinship, that understanding, that feeling of finding your other half. Regina hadn't truly experienced it before (as much as she loved Daniel, she never felt that ) and didn't experience again until she met her literal soulmate.

And so those feelings gave way to soft caresses that lead to tender kisses that they traded between one another, until Maleficent's mouth had wandered all over Regina's body and let her feel what she hadn't felt with anyone before, gave her body the love and attention she'd been denied in her life, over and over.

It could have been enough, the two of them. It was enough, in fact. There was one day that turned to a weekend that turned to a week where they did not leave Maleficent's castle. Regina finally said she had to go, that the King might send a search party.

Maleficent had rolled her eyes.

"Let him," she had scoffed, with a roll of her shoulders, "let him try and take you from me. I will destroy him and any army that seeks to take you from me. Do not go back to that man, Regina. Stay with me."

Regina had teetered on the brink of agreeing – Leo and whatever army he'd send (Would he even send for her? Did he even know she was gone?) would be no match for her dragon, and she was happy, or as close to it as she'd ever known with the exception of those few moments where she'd dare to dream of a life of freedom with Daniel. She could almost say it was love – was it? She still, to this day does not know. But they cared for one another. They spoke to one another about their fears, their passions, their interests, their tragic pasts. They cried in one another's arms, fucked until they were sweaty and exhausted, cuddled like old lovers after the passion and energy had been long since spent.

Perhaps it was love.

But it was also comforting. It was such a welcome change .

To not be subjected to the isolation and terror and wandering hands of the King.

To not be compared to a queen she could never be, and criticized by the people she ruled over.

But then Maleficent has asked her one day , "What do you have to go back to, anyway? A life of being ignored, a life where you can only survive by thinking of ways to torture a child?"

It was the reminder of Snow White that had shocked her. For Regina had not thought of Snow White in days. And the mention of her just then had reminded Regina of what she used to be, and was quickly no longer becoming. The reminder of Snow White's existence did not bring the usual firey anger that it once did. In fact, that time, there was no anger at all. A melancholy malaise set over her, and nothing more. Her quest for revenge was all but forgotten while her days and nights were spent warming the bed of a dragon.

Maleficent had been distracting her.

Back then Regina could have almost justified the love, and lust, and passion between them, sweaty nights in a large bed being pleasured in a way Daniel had never dared, seeking to pleasure Mal in a way she'd never tried to please Daniel. She could have told herself that she was young then, that Daniel knew she needed some pleasure in her life, that he would not deny her this.

But as a heartbroken young queen, as the student of the Dark One, she has believed Daniel deserved revenge on the person who wronged him. On the person who cost him his life.

And living with Mal, letting the dragon fill her days in some hedonistic trap – that was distracting her from truly honoring Daniel and proving her he was worth so much more than Snow and her mother thought.

And with that she demanded to leave, pushed herself away, and never truly came back.

There were nights of passion after that, nights where Mal would claw at her back and growl into her skin, nights where Regina would bite her back and draw blood, and that is what it became – an almost violent sense of passion, as they both tried to forget about the gentle kind of love they had once shared. Of course, that was a way of life not befitting of villains anyway, she never should have expected it to last.

Mal did worry about her though, towards the end. She told Regina that she knew her better than anyone. And she cried out her frustration, because she couldn't protect Regina against him, couldn't convince her to leave his guidance. And it must have been hard for Mal, being forced to watch her slip away, forced to watch Regina get lost in bejeweled, velvet clad embrace of darkness.

The brave and powerful spitfire she had fallen for was unrecognizable during those times, Regina knows that now. And maybe Mal had guessed she was gone forever, consumed by the evil she was bred to exude.

But now, now Regina feels oddly the same to the girl she was around the powerful sorcerer. She no longer belongs to Mal, no longer belongs to anyone except perhaps Henry – but still, she feels close to her friend again. Baptized by darkness and fire, Regina had come out on the other side relatively unscathed, adn her old friend was there, by her side.

She loved Maleficent still.

Even if their time had passed.

Right now Maleficent is smiling at Regina in  _ that  _ way that still makes her insides go molten. She leans closer to her, as her hand cups Regina's chin, and then before Regina can really process, she's pressed her lips to hers. Regina responds briefly to the kiss before pulling back, puzzled.

Mal winks at her, shifting her gaze to a very confused Robin.

"There we go, little one. Now's the perfect moment to discuss us with Robin."

Regina rolls her eyes. "Thanks for that," she mutters under her breath, "the guards in particular already think I have slept with every man and woman in my realm, and this no doubt adds to that belief."

Mal looks back at Arthur again, groaning as she sees guards gawking at the both of them. Regina and Mal are touching…more intimately now, and it's drawing unwanted attentions. It clearly amuses her, though it makes Regina nervous.

"You look parched," she comments, handing over her canteen to Regina. "Drink, my dear."

Regina stares at the canteen, uncertain. "If I didn't know better I'd think this was laced with a curse."

Maleficent holds up her arm, pointing to the cuff that kept her from performing magic. "If I could fiddle with potions I sure as hell wouldn't waste it on drugging you." She looks back to Arthur, who's staring at them intently. "My brother….on the other hand."

Regina laughs as she takes a sip, "Cut him a break."

Mal's hand flies to cup Regina's jaw, moving it towards her so she can look her in the eye. The mood shifts to something more serious, as she says, with venom on her tongue, "Cutting people breaks doesn't really sound like me… _ or  _ you."

Regina shrugs as she takes another sip from the canteen, utterly unaffected by her display. "It doesn't. But do it anyway."

Mal stares her down, blows out a puff of air, challenging her. But Regina just streams back, keeps her expression soft, understanding. They stare at each other like that, til Mal scowls and wipes a hand over her fact. She has changed her mind, it's clear by the way holds herself, the way she is trying to look so aloof.

"Oh, go and send my sad little brother over here and I'll hear him out. But I don't think it'll change much." Mal runs her hands over her hair as if the entire meeting were a bore, but Regina knows her well. She's nervous.

But calling her out on that won't help, so Regina just nods her head, waving Arthur over. She gives Mal a warning look. "No matter what, you're still family."

She choose to ignore Mal's bitter laugh and snarky comment that  _ the family that attempts to murder each other stays together. _

Arthur merely nods, kissing Regina's hand and focus his gaze to his sister, and begins some disjointed speech about the past.

But Regina doesn't listen, doesn't care to eavesdrop on those two. She walks back to Robin, noticing his eyes are on her, and he looks...a bit threatened.

"Just tell me today is the last time you have to talk to  _ him _ alone," he mutters, and Regina thanks whatever being there is above that he doesn't bring up Mal's kiss.

So she starts where it seems appropriate to start. "I have to apologize, I was a bit of an idiot last night. And there's no real excuse for my behavior."

"You ended the night quite right," Robin says looking at with a teasing stare. "Let's not talk about what happened last night, at least not before you came over and sat next to me."

She agrees with a nod, and melts into his side as he wraps an arm around him.

"So….Maleficent?" he asks. She laughs, her cheeks heat as she tries to tamp down the slight fear of that he will see her differently for this. It's ridiculous, This is Robin.

"Long story," she responds with a shrug.

"One you are going to tell me," he responds with a cheeky smile and a wink, "one day."

The last bubble of panic pops, leaving her free to breathe again. There's no judgment in his eyes, nothing but genuine curiosity. She's so, so thankful for this man. And she finds she really does want to share with him stories of her past lovers, her past struggles, her past everything.

"Perhaps one day I will tell you," she muses coyly.

.::.

They trudge onwards, Maleficent suggested they walk through lunch as they were close. And soon, on the side of an impressive rock formation, she called to Regina.

"Here." Maleficent points, a prideful gaze over her face.

Regina realized that Arthur and his magical guards never offered to find the hidden doors. She wondered if they knew how, or if they just didn't trust their abilities. Had Merlin only taught them how to be a dragon? There could be potential for so much more. They were children when it came to magic. Inefficient, unskilled children.

Regina uses her magic to find the hidden door instantly, and they walked in an impossibly beautiful, impossibly large  _ palace.  _ The floor was marble, crystal and glass lined the walls. Fruit trees lined a long atrium, marble pillars were decorated with ornate golden designs. The ceiling was an ice blue, crystal, Arthur noted.

"You built yourself a castle." Arthur notes, looking around. The guards snicker.

"This wasn't a place for me." Maleficent looks bored, unaffected by their laughter. "It was a place for Merlin. I never stayed here."

This must have been where she trapped him. She did, at least, give him luxury and beauty when she trapped him. And from the looks of it, he somehow found an escape. Regina looks for a sign of breakout, as she inspects each wall, each hallway, looking, for weaknesses.

There are many rooms and many different paths to go, but Maleficent was making a beeline for one room in particular. She rushes down the third hallway, to the last room on the right. She gains some distance fform the bewildered and awestruck guards, who are still gawking at the beautiful palace interior.

So when Mal opens the door to that room, no one is around her.

Until of course, she calls out "Merlin! It's you"

Regina hasn't seen Mal smile like that in years, the wild, excited eyes of a woman much younger and freer...

Mal's voice draws the guards into a run, though, as they rushed to the doorway to see if Merlin is in fact there.

It all happens so fast, the guards appear, there is a flash of a giant tail, followed by a loud  _ boom! _

Regina runs to the door as well, looking in the expansive room.

There, the crystal ceiling had a small opening now, breaking way to the sky above. Merlin, in dragon form, was soaring up and out.

Everything happens so fast. There is no time to think, only to act. To silence the voices of doubt and rely on instinct.

Now.

Now is the time to stop following orders of anyone else.

Her mind screams for her to stop it already. Stop playing nice.

Stop playing  _ safe. _

Do what you think is right and act now.

NOW!

Regina's hand does not shake, does not falter as she raises it in the air and releases her magic. It's smooth, calculated, and quick.

Rumple would be proud.

One waving pulse of magic to release the cuffs on Maleficent wrists, and another quick flick of her wrist freezes the guards in place before they can so much as react.

It's almost too easy, though she's unpracticed and in a new realm, it seems she had no problem stopping them. Even if they were competent, she had this. They were no match for her.

Never were.

But then hardly a split second later she spots Arthur. He's got those damned magical cuffs in his hand, oh –  _ god –  _ the idiot, he doesn't get it, doesn't trust her, and she hates to do this, but he's left her no choice. She's almost disappointed in him as she watches him try to magic the cuffs on her. She stops them in midair, changing their course and floating them carefully into her open hands, while she flicks her hand to stun Arthur's magic out of him.

A freezing spell seemed too cruel after all they had been through.

" _ GO _ " she urges Maleficent, firmly.

But Mal is looking back at her with much too much affection. Mal should be following after Merlin now that the magical cuffs are off and nothing is preventing her from doing so. She should be dedicated to the task, but well, Mal's driven by emotion, always has been, and she's clearly swept up in something right now.

"Well, well…the bitch is back." Maleficent says, winking and shaking her head. Pride radiates off of the dragon with so much force Regina can nearly feel it radiating off of her. It still feels nice, being appreciated by the woman she cared – cares – so much for.

But it's not time for sappy sentimental moments, so Regina pushes them away, and urges Mal along. "Go after him. Remember our children."  _ Our children.  _ Because they were both mothers now, and they had to think of what Merlin could do to help their children, protect them from Emma or what Emma might become

And in a swirl of smoke and green and purple, Mal turns into the beautiful, terrifying dragon Regina has come to love. She's out, soaring, escaping through the hole vaulted ceiling above.

.::.

Regina can finally breathe again. She hadn't realized that she's been struggling, not until this moment.

She's been a different person, playing it safe, for the sake of everyone's lives. Waiting for the right moment.

It's not like her to do any of this, but she did it. It had been an exercise in control, and she passed. And, god, may she never have to do it again.

Because she is herself again. Bold, powerful, no longer pretending to be meek and afraid of these pathetic excuses for wizards. She is in control.

She looks to her crew. Snow's smile has overtaken her entire face, David was by her side, looking approvingly. Robin looks more relieved than anything, and then there is Lily, who just looks… excited.

"What have you done?" Arthur asks angrily. He tries to use his magic, but the spell was preventing him from acting. "I trusted you!" he screamed.

Regina can only raise her eyebrows and smirk. "Trusting me was the right move to make."

"Why didn't you do this as soon as you were un-cuffed?" He asks, incredulous.

"You have not been adequately trained in magic. And you haven't honed your craft. I've known for some time that I could easily incapacitate you all, even if you can morph into dragons – which is impressive magic, don't get me wrong. But there is far more to magic than morphing into beasts. Anyway, until this moment, there was no need to overpower you. We both wanted Merlin and agreed on how to find him. Until now." She slaps the magical cuff on him, and nods sympathetically as he reacts to the dull, draining pain it causes. She knows the feeling all too well.

Not so fun, is it?

"What are you going to do with Merlin?" he's angry, furious, and it's all too disappointing. He should know better.

"Exactly what we told you. I have no interest in torturing or killing or even taking him from you. We just need help with the dark one."

"Morgan will never come back. She will destroy Merlin, or push him into hiding further…"

Regina waves the thought off. "He left a clue in her hiding place – a clue for just her. He wants to see her. Your Morgan is a mother now, and Lily remains here. And she is not as powerful as Merlin. I believe she knows that. He is… somewhat of an idol of hers." Regina smiles sympathetically, adding, "much like he is an idol of yours, am I correct?"

"So the past few days was all an act." Arthur ventures. God, he's seething in anger.

Regina knew he wasn't just talking about the times she played the role of the obedient servant, following the rules set for her, pretending to be concerned with the consequences of falling out of his good graces, asking for favors when she didn't need to ask…yes, that was all an act. But he was asking about the heartfelt talks, the feelings she had for him, stories she had told, the bond they had formed.

"It wasn't all an act. I intended to play along with your advances...that's true—" Arthur laughs bitterly and curses to himself, but Regina continues, " —but I enjoyed your company. This was not intended to hurt you."

Arthur groans. "Enough of this. You can't freeze them forever. I can't protect you from them. They know….they know the rules well in advance, and I made them swear to enforce them. Any misuse of magic, and you are to die."

She looks at him curiously. Does he really still think that they are a concern of hers? After what he's seen?

It appears he does, so with a heavy sigh, she speaks bluntly.

"Your guards don't scare me, dangerous as you may believe them to be, they pose no threat. We need nothing more than a cuff on each of them and some simple rope." She magics rope around the guards, the magic tying tight, intricate knots. "There we go."

"And what then, we all sit around waiting for Merlin ad Morgan to arrive?" Arthur groaned. "How long will that take, weeks? Months? Will we starve?"

"They will be back. Give me two nights. After that, do what you wish. Just trust me. This is the right thing to do."

Lily speaks up. "She'll be back. She cares about me. Regina is right."

"Now to place the cuffs on the guards."

It was fortunate that they had access to such powerful devices, especially given their remote location. There had been two cuffs on Mal, and two that had been held by Arthur ever since he took them off Regina. Regina had placed a cuff on Arthur, leaving three cuffs remaining, one for each guard. Perfect.

Lily looks down to her wrists, gingerly rubbing the cuffs that still surround them. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but must think better of it when she eyes Regina. Her mouth closes tightly.

Regina tosses a cuff each to Snow and Charming, and asks them to put it on the right hand of each of their new captives. She saves one cuff for herself, walking over to the guard who took her only means of communicating with Henry. She gets into his face, eyes glued to his, and snarls, "I promised you would regret taking that stone from me.". She puts on the cuff tight enough to restrict blood. "Trust me. You will."

The cuffs aren't as strong at blocking magic as the ones in Storybrooke, and two cuffs would be necessary to restrain an advanced wizard, but one is far and away enough for these weak sorcerers. She doesn't need to worry about them.

Gradually, the freezing spell fades, leaving the guards to speak, and react.

Throughout the trip they've been silent knights on the brigade, never speaking to anyone besides themselves, and barely talking to each other, at that. But now they are loud, spitting at Regina, calling her a whore, cursing her to all hell. Some hate is directed at the king, saying they will now be roasted by the Evil Queen. They warned him but he refused to listen.

"I don't want to tie you up." Regina said looking at Arthur. "But my child's life is at stake, and these are my people. I can't have you hurting them."

"You have my word that I won't hurt you or any of your people." He sneers the words through gritted teeth, looked as if he was fighting back the urge to spit at her, but still, he seems to be telling the truth.

She wants to believe him. The cuff preventing him from doing magic all but ensures he cannot do any real damage. Still, the guards have weapons, and who knows what type of device is hidden in this palace?

She poofs some shackles on him, the chains loose and comfortable, still, they'd prevent him from attacking at least. He groans distastefully.

"Can't risk it" she mumbles.

"You  _ are  _ the Evil Queen," he mutters, "but I am not a King. I am nothing but a fool to think you were capable of anything but… this. And you  _ will  _ pay.."

In this moment, she doesn't see a changed man at all. She sees. vindictive, petty king.

But he's also upset, and has every right to be. So she leaves him to stew over his errors in judgment in silence as she explores the many rooms of the palace.

.::.

Mal is gifted with a wild imagination, but this palace did not only showcase her imagination but her attention to detail, her creativity, and her sense of ingenuity.

Though Mal had never seen indoor plumbing at the time she created the palace, she had obviously dreamed it. She had enchanted some basins in the kitchen to fill with water when one switch is flicked, and drained of all water when another is flicked. It's clever, so clever, but she'd expect nothing less from her Mal.

Regina wonders what went through Mal's mind when she saw indoor plumbing in the modern world – in Storybrooke. Knowing Mal, she probably thought someone stole her idea.

It's a waiting game until she returns, and they've been without food for a bit, so Regina wanders around the palace looking for any supplies necessary to start a quick dinner (the food they had brought – jerky and bread and fruit – is running low). There are fruit trees in potted plants, touched with magic to bloom and stay ripe forever. Regina is looking for some sort of garden with a similar enchantment spell, but stumbles upon a pantry and a small kitchen, instead. There is rice and seasonings and stock and dried beans, some preserved vegetables. Enough to make a stew. It would be a simple dinner, but a filling one.

When she finishes cooking she handed Arthur his bowl first. He takes it, angling his hands just right so the shackles don't pull too much, and moves away muttering things under her breath she knows she would rather not hear.

She sighs. She had almost fostered an understanding, but now, she very much doubts any good will come of those moments with Arthur.

So much for the chance of letting him see that people can be reformed.

But she can't think of that night now, there's too much at stake for her personally. So she lets it go.

Robin is at her side now, and he's helping her pass out food while looking very smug and almost… giddy. She is grateful that he had given her space until now, to settle, plan her next course of action.

And now the dust as settled and it's just wonderful.

"Good to have you back," Robin says at last.

"Good to  _ be _ back." Regina says, with a smile.

"How's it feel to be the boss again?" He asks as she filled her bowl with food.

"Tiring," Regina countered, as if to say  _ why does it always have to be me?  _ Deep down, she knows she isn't fooling anyone. She likes being the one in control.

And Robin knows that. He smiles and gives her a wink.

"I like seeing you in charge," he admits, and as the words come out he realizes how they sound, and his cheeks redden.

"Is that so?" She asks, an eyebrow raises ash she gives him a coy smile.

She likes to see him blush.

She just likes him.

Loves him, and likes him.

.::.

Maleficent dos not return by nightfall. Regina had hoped she would be, at least to report something. When it comes time for bed, she has a twinge of regret. Perhaps she should not have trusted Maleficent to do this. Perhaps Merlin would just kill her and continue to run away.

Perhaps she will let everyone down.

She tries to push these scenarios out of her head. They are unlikely, and thinking about them certainly did not help.

The palace has bedrooms, a welcome change from the sleeping accommodations they had before. The Charmings retire first.

She ties Arthur up for the night near his men - his choice. He did not want to leave them even for a bit.

Regina walks over to Lily who was sitting by herself at a table, picking at her cuffs.

"Lily?" she asks gently.

"You don't trust me with magic?" Lily asks, looking at the cuffs.

Regina pauses, and decides honesty is the best way to handle it.

"Part of me is scared that if you run off we'll never get Maleficent back. All she cares about in this world is you."

Lily tilts her head, looking at her curiously. "You know that's not true."

Lily gives her a knowing look, and Regina is a bit taken back. Had Maleficent shared that much, or had Lily just picked up on it?

"I know she cares for you."

Regina stares back, unsure what to say, settling on a shake of her head.

"I know she would come back here even if I was gone," Lily continues. "But I wouldn't leave you any way. There's too much at stake for everyone back home. And you know, Emma's still….a friend. I want to stop her from going dark too."

Regina looks skeptically at Lily again. Something had changed in her, over these past few days, something she couldn't place.

She's not as dark as she once was.

"Are you otherwise ok?" Regina speaks softly, looking at her eyes. When did Lily look so bright and open? So much like her mother. "I don't want your mother thinking I've been abusing you."

Lily l chuckles "I'm going to talk to those men, just a bit, before I settle down. I'm sort of on adrenaline after seeing my mom chase after a dragon."

Lily sits next to the men as they spit at her angrily She lets them yellto them. Interjecting a few sweet words of comfort, letting them react to her, almost laughing at the venom they spewed towards her. Regina watches her from afar, unsure what she was telling the, but it appeared to be lessening their anger. Lily was soothing them.

Somehow. In all that darkness, did she really have that power? Power to comfort, to love.

Then Robin makes himself known from behind her, wrapping his arms around her front and pulling her close. It is one of those hugs that feel like magic, the way relaxes every muscle, soothes ever nerve. He rubs her arms softly and then asks. "Want to talk about it?"

She frowns. "Talk about what?"

"Whatever has you staring off in the distance right now, looking confused or puzzled or…I don't know." He spins her around, so he was facing her. "I know there's something serious going on in there" he said, pointing to her forehead. "What is it?"

"If this trip is a failure, I don't think I can battle Emma." Regina says, with a sigh. "Do you see these men? They have magic, but they are woefully incompetent at using it. Like children. I am….quite good at dark magic. Getting better at light magic. But Emma...she has stronger light magic and now she has the power of the  _ dark one. _ She can make me look like one of these incompetent guards."

Robin laughs. "Not at all likely, my love. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and held your own with the last dark one. Emma may be powerful but she's new to magic, like these guards. It will take time for her to even match you, let alone overpower you."

"I'm not sure about that."

"I am. I have nothing but complete trust in you."

"I just wish Maleficent would come back already." Regina sighs.

"I think you need to go to bed and stop worrying about this." Robin motioned her to follow him down the hall to find a room of her own. She links her hand in his.

Everything feels soft and slow and right for a moment.

As they walk down the hall together she picks a random door to open. What is behind that door is better than she had imagined  _ Jackpot _ .

Her eyes widen, smile broadens, and Robin just… stares at her, thoroughly amused. "So," he asks, "is it a nice bedroom?"

She hakes her head. "Oh much better. A bathroom, with a bath.  _ God _ I have been dreaming of a nice bath!"

The tub is enchanted much like the basins. It fills with warm water with a switch. She flips it, takes a moment to appreciate how quickly it fills, how warm the water is, and begins to undress, forgetting for a moment that Robin is behind her until he lets out a soft sigh and begins to help her out of her clothes. She smiles at him, seeing he list in his eyes as he looks over her body. She'd be lying if knowing she can affect him this way doesn't please her.

But now the opportunity cleanse herself of the hard journey takes precedent. A small bit of comfort goes such a long way. There are bath oils in the bathroom, and soap, and oh, a fluffy robe.

.::.

As she gathers items for her bath, Robin can't help but stare – she was in her underclothes only now, and she would be stripping out of them soon. She looks just as gorgeous as he remembered, though the days on the road with the lighter eating had made her legs a bit more toned, and it looked like she had lost weight in her arms a little too. She still had ample curves, tempting curves, if anything they stuck out more now that she had lost a little weight from days on the road. His mouth was dry and he wanted to just watch her, in the doorway, until she told him to get out, but he felt he had to speak up.

"Do-do you want me to give you some privacy?" Robin asks, his mouth slightly agape.

Regina laughs looking down at the state of her body, "Sorry, I was a bit over excited about this bath and forgot….everything else."

Robin shakes his head, because my god she should not feel sorry about this. "Please feel free to undress around me at anytime or any place you see fit."

Regina continues to prepare the bath, and Robin stands by the door, watching as she adds scented oils and organizes scrubs and brushes.

She's not feeling what he is, he realizes that. The purpose of this bath is, sadly,  _ not  _ to get naked, wet and slippery with him, this is about relaxation. So as much as he is loathe to walk out on a scantily clad Regina, he loves her more than he lusts after her, and he wants her to have this time.

"I'll leave you to it," he says, trying to control his breathing as she bends down in front of him, her perfect ass very much on display. "I'll uh, be staying down the hall. I saw an open bedroom. Fourth door down the hall, to the right." He hopes she takes this for the invitation it is. He really, really wants her in his bed tonight.

"Alright," she returns in that sultry voice, "I'll keep that in mind.".

He holds out hope that maybe, maybe she will show up, and leaves her to her bath.

.::.

The dirt and grime washes off her body, her scalp no longer hurts, hair free of the oil, dirty, and soot that had weighed it down. She feels much more like herself. Much more in control.

More like a queen.

And she's going to act like a queen, for now. Trust her instincts. Stop thinking of her true self as being toxic, or harming others.

So she stays in the warm water (keeps it warm with her magic, occasionally) until her skin prunes and tense, until her aching muscles stop screaming&

She carries her dirty clothes and puts on a thick, warm robe and makes her way down to the corridor to Robin's room, without even giving it a second thought. .

As she walks down the corridor she realizes the place is meticulously decorated, so ornate. But why should this place be so elaborate? Why were there so many baths and bedrooms if it was truly only meant to be a jail for one person?

Maleficent is guarded about her past, andt Regina had already learned more than most. It seemed she had only learned a small part about who Maleficent was. So much was a mystery, and this palace held some of the most puzzling part of her past.

She knocks lightly on the bedroom door, and it opens in a flash.

Robin is shirtless, skin dripping and glistening with water, the smell of soap mixing with his own woodsy scene. It seems he had found his way to a bath as well.

Her eyes follow a bead of water as it drops down his chest.

"How was your bath?"

His voice knocks some sense into her, and she meets his eyes a bit sheepishly. He gives her a knowing smile. He knows she's admiring him, adn well, it seems he's doing the same to her.

"My bath was wonderful" she sighed. "I feel so much better.

"You smell amazing" he mutters. He combs through her wet hair and his tongue peaks out and wets his lip.

"You smell quite nice too."

"I had myself a little bath. For cleanliness, not for relaxing."

Regina breathes him in. "I see that."

"Mm" Robin responds, his hand is playing with the collar of her robe, tugging it a little. She moves in closer, leaning her head down to rest against his chest. But the movement tugs at her neck. She rubs it just a bit, trying to work out the kink.

"You okay?"

"I think I pulled something doing all those magical theatrics" she said sheepishly. "The bath helped a lot. A good night's sleep will cure it."

Robin frowns. "Come here, now," he says, leading her to the bed and patting the mattress with a directed stare. She goes willingly, raising her eyebrows slightly at his stern gaze, but he doesn't play into it.

She sits on the edge of the bed, shifting when he sits behind her, drawing her robe down to rub at the tender, sore muscles.

"You have to be more careful with yourself," he says into her ear, "you're not indestructible."

His hands are warm, and comforting as they firmly knead her back. It feels like heaven.

"It's just some stiff muscles, Robin. Many that have loosened. No harm done."

"This time." He finishes for her as he continues to rub her back. She groans in response. He presses on, adding, "I love seeing you take charge, use your power, to fight. But that was risky, and you could have been killed. You should have told me your plan. I was here to help, and—"

"It all happened in a split second," Regina reminds him, "I couldn't tell you a plan when I had none myself."

He sighs, presses his lips to the back of her neck as if to appease her. "This is, by far, the worst part of being in love with you, you know. Watching you almost die time after time."

She tries to whip her head around to face him, but he keeps her head straight.

"Shh, you need to relax," he soothes. It's been awhile since they said those words, but he clearly doesn't want to pressure her into returning them, and his concern is nice, makes her love him even more.

"We need to talk" she protests, but then his fingernails scratch up from her neck through her hair, sending tingles all over her body, and god, do they have to talk now?

"In a bit. Just feel for now, yeah?"

And they stay there, almost silent, as Robin touches and rubs and scratches and soothes. He works slowly, pressing little circles into the tightened muscle until he felt it loosen and relax.

He draws out little moans, soft, heady little things that fall out of her, andits absolute bliss, being touched and cared for like this, having someone soothe all her aches, being able to be so open and vulnerable. And soon she feels comfortable to make requests, the  _ Oh! please, just down a little further _ and  _ right there stay there a bit longer _ and a  _ that feels so nice, just like that _ . She can't help but moan them, the little soft sounds Robin makes in response make her thighs clench on instinct.

When she feels completely relaxed, when her muscles have turned oozy and pliant, she sighs a "Thank you,that's enough" into a pillow,, he breathes out a sigh of relief that amuses her. She looks up to find that his eyes are dark and heated, and well, she wasn't the only one who had become sexually charged from that rub down, had she? Regina reaches her hand to intertwine with his.

They had to talk. About Zelena. About Arthur, probably, and about….everything.

And god, did she ever want to do anything else but talk, especially with how badly she wanted a happy ending to that massage.

Robin smiles back at her nervously, then clears this throat. "You should probably stay here tonight. It's late. Too late to find another bedroom. Plus you don't know where everyone has currently taken residence…. you might accidentally walk in an occupied room. You can't un-see Snow and David together. Trust me. I already did that once looking for the bathroom."

Regina laughs. "I'm sure I could manage to find an unoccupied room in this castle," she starts, "but I don't want to."

She turns the thick comfortable robe into her grey silk nightgown. "Better" she said, laying down into bed next to him.

He follows suit immediately, inching closer to her, as if he's feeling her out. He doesn't know where they are (neither does she) so maybe that's why he doesn't lean over to touch her the way she wants, to kiss her like she imagines.

But she is being cautious herself. Her short stint with Arthur may have ruined things, and reaching out for Robin's affections could result in a rejection she isn't quite ready to face. So they lie there for awhile, on their sides, facing each other, lightly caressing each other lazily, but not speaking.

What they need to say will kill the mood, anyway.

Fuck it, they can talk later, can't they? She's nervously waiting Maleficent to bring back one of the most powerful sorcerers that ever lived, and she's on edge and he's…

He's just…

Well, just look at him.

Fuck it.

"You feel like home" she whispers, "It feels nice to be back with you, to sleep with you like this."

Robin cannot help but lighten the mood "you are practically naked and in bed with me, and you look like a fucking goddess and smell like heaven." He breathed in her deeply. "I'm not going to get any sleep with or without you tonight.

Regina smiles and kisses his neck. "Sorry about that." She breathes into his neck. But she's not entirely sorry. She's a little amused.

And aroused. At least as much as he is. Her body wants this, her brain seems to be letting her, thank god.

She leans in and licks his neck, blowing just a bit on the soft damp skin as she draws her lips away.

"Mmm. You bloody well know what that does to me." Robin says, his eyes clenched shut.

She kisses him again on his neck, this time flicking her tongue just a bit before pulling away.

"God Regina" he groans deeply. "This isn't fair."

"It's not," she agrees. He's laying on his back now, and she grabs his hand, the one with the lion tattoo. She smoothes her hand over it, kisses it, then takes a finger and sucks on it. She hears Robin draw back a big sigh.

He's tented in his shorts, unsurprisingly, from the way he's responded to her. She reaches down and grabs him, stroking slowly. Robin freezes, but he doesn't look upset by her touch at all.

Quite the opposite. He's biting his lip hard in  _ that  _ way, and god, she wants him.

So she takes him. She slips off her night gown and straddles him, feeling his erection digging in behind her.

She's in control, and Robin is just reacting. It's different from how she saw him with Zelena, all needy and desperate. She doesn't want that, doesn't think she could yet handle it. So this is good, she can do this.

She pulls his hands up, one to each breast, and Robin is eager to touch them. His touch is soft, at first, he flicks he nipples slowly until they are so hard, he pinches and twists them drawing moans out of her. He must be able to feel how wet she is now, from the way he breathes out  _ Christ Regina  _ and rocks back into her,

They are naked, and so closely lined up, and she's wet, so wet he could just slide into her if she angles just a bit down…

.

But Regina starts by taking his hand off her breast and shoving it between her legs, She's missed every part of him, his hands included.

"Fucking gods, darling, you're soaked," he moans, as his fingers circle her entrance. He slides two inside her, and she begins to ride his hand as he pumps in and out of her, while he pinches her nipple with his other. She braces herself against the headboard behind him and just….takes.

.

"So good" she moans. She can feel everything building, steady and strong as fucks his hand, and yes, this is good, so good, she is going to come, she can come from this...

His kisses are light but heated against her neck, her jaw, her chest. There is more passion now, and she can feel herself moaning with desire. Only he can make her feel like this, like she is soaring high.

He pulls her into a deep passionate kiss, then draws his hand out from her and flips her so she's lying on her back. He kisses down her chest, his tongue swirling right around her breasts before he buses his lips over the dampened skin.

_ Did he do that thing with you, with the twist of his tongue, you know what I'm talking about? It was kind of a swirl. Wasn't that the best?" _

Zelena's voice echoes in her mind. Again. Just like last time.

No.

She won't let her win.

She lets him continue, kiss down her torso, waiting for the tingle inside her to grow, his beard tickles sensitive skin as he makes his way between her legs, but Zelena is in her head, and she can't get her out.

He kisses her thighs the way she loves.

Regina waits for the bad thoughts to pass.

they do not.

They are in the thick of it now, so close to fucking, and he's breathing heavily, so ready, but waiting for her.

Regina winces, and he sees it and stops immediately. He rolls down next to her on the bed, still panting. "What did I do? Are you hurt?"

Regina shakes her head "You didn't hurt me." She says, tentatively. "I want to," she starts, and then she realizes he knows that, can tell, can feel her, how wet she is, and he can hear her desperate sighs, "I keep picturing you with her," she adds, "especially, when you do that, uh, when you kiss like that, with the little swirl I always liked, it just reminds me of the whole thing."

He stops, cringes and sits up. "Oh." he says softly.

Regina sighs, "I don't blame you. She just told me that you uh, kissed her like that too."

She sits up and scoots back towards the headboard, leans against it and bends her knees into her chest.

He follows right next to her, a bit timidly, careful not to touch her.

"I did," he confirms, and she winces.

He takes a breath inward. I"m ashamed of this, but I'm going to tell you anyway"

"You don't need to be ashamed to tell me anything," she says sincerely, looking in his eyes,

"None of this is your fault, she….abused you, she…"

"She made me believe that I made her miserable, and I thought she was my  _ wife _ ," he starts drawing a hand over his eyes. "She hated New York, Roland was always bothering her for some reason — I should have known, what kind of mother would…? But I didn't, I didn't figure it out, and she made me feel like everything was my fault, and —"

"Of course she did, that was her plan the whole time."

"Regina, her plan was to get pregnant and shove it in your face."

Regina looks skeptically, "I'm not so sure, I mean, I'm sure she appreciated that it happened, but…"

"Trust me, she wanted this to happen." He sighs, and looks down at the fabric of the bed, "You keep picturing it, so we might as well talk about it. She pretended to be heartbroken and upset. With everything. She made me feel horribly guilty about being hung up on you, she played every card she could. I was miserable. That memory she showed you? Well, what you didn't see before that is I had just come home from a bar. I was very drunk. I had been thinking of you. I….kept thinking of you," He looks up and at her, so apologetic.. "I'm not proud, Regina."

She doesn't interrupt, doesn't quite understand, until it dawns on her.

"Thinking of me at the bar…?"

"Thinking of us." he says simply, "and I came home, she was there, and you were in my head. And I was drunk, Regina, very drunk. And she had just begged me to start things back up, and I had just been thinking about our time together in the vault, and… well..."

Regina swallowed. "You, uh…"

Robin laughed bitterly. "Shut my eyes and thought of you instead of my wife. And if you think that didn't tear my up inside, thinking about how I couldn't even get it up for my own wife without thinking of the woman who damn near killed her instead, — no offense — well, it did. But, it worked, it seemed to make her happy."

It's all so unsettling. Regina wraps her arms around her legs, staring off into the distance instead of at him.

"That's why when you saw that memory of us together, that's why I said things I said to you. That's why I did things I'd do to you. It was, It was how I got through it."

"Why not use your past with Marian?" she asks,truly confused, you had memories with her that could—"

"I tried. When things felt off I thought of old times… tried to imagine her the way I remembered. The wife I lost meant everything to me but the idea of reliving our past times together never truly excited me. Not anymore."

She turns to him skeptically, "So you had trouble moving on from me?"

"I never really gave it a real shot," he admits, "I guess I tried half-heartedly, but….this doesn't make me a good man. It was worse when she was my actual wife but now I realize a witch tricked me into performing for her and it somehow seems worse. What if my body knew it wasn't her and that's the reason performance was difficult?"

Regina doesn't answer, her mind stuck on another part he mentioned. "But how did you know she was trying to get pregnant?"

"No other reason for her to try to...do as much as she had us do it around...um, certain times." He says, and then groans into his palms. "I"m sorry, there's no other way to say this."

It feels dirty, hearing him say it, and she flinches.

She thinks about it from his perspective though. She easily can. Afterall, she was forced to warm the bed of someone who cared nothing for her, but forced her to perform those duties anyway, who expected her to be bright and exuberant while he awkwardly clawed at her.

She remembers how her mind would wander to anything... or anyone else. Even Daniel. Just to get through it.

She did it, god knows she did it, more than once, many times.

He did the same thing. It got him through a rough patch. And he kissed her like he did Regina because his mind was on Regina the whole time. It's… it makes sense.

"She's a piece of work," Regina finally says with a sigh. "I'm sorry this was so hard for you. I had hoped it wasn't hard… the whole time we were gone."

"You believe me," he says softly, and Regina nods as she grasps his hand, linking their fingers and staring down at them.

"I used memories of you… wrongly," he says, "it's right for you to be upset about this, and —"

"I'm not upset about that," she says matter-of-factly, "and you can stop feeling guilty for it. She tricked you, manipulated you, used the fact you were a good man against you to con you into...God, it's awful. I can't even imagine what you went through."

"I'm fine," he responds, "Don't worry about me."

"You are having nightmares."

He sighs and leans back against the headboard, a hand rubbing over his face.

"Yes," he says after a bit, "but they aren't all with Zelena in them. Some are about Roland's birth, I help Marian deliver, and then… he's a monster. He attacks Marian, and then myself, and… others. Sometimes I'm in a large glass box and it fills with water, and I drown, and sometimes…there's other things, things I don't really care to get into right now." he pauses and sighs, "I never really dreamed before, not vividly like this. So this has been...unusual."

"There's going to be some damage. What she did was horrible." She looks at him, smoothing her hand over his arm. "I'd understand if you didn't want to touch in that way for a bit, while you're still working stuff out."

"No — No, I…" he sighs, "I choose you every time we're together, it feels right with you, it feels...it's what I wanted. What I still want. And it's you." He groans, gesturing wildly with his hands, as if he can't quite articulate how it feels. "It's the opposite, Regina, of what you think. I want to be with you, all the time. When we're together it feels like the whole thing never happened. And I know I was pushing you too hard, and I know this wasn't the best way to deal with it, but —"

She silences his rambling with a kiss.

Everything somehow makes sense. And there's finally a sense of understanding of them, of these last few weeks.

And she wants a release so badly, one with him that doesn't end in her sister showing up to ruin everything, but she also just craves being intimate with him again.

She wants to rejoin him, be one with him.

And if this is helping, if being with her is helping at all, she's not going to deny him.

He kisses her back with all he has, wrapping his arm around her and encouraging her to move on top of him.

"You sure?" he rasps against her mouth.

"Completely," she answers, drawing back to look him in the eye tenderly, her hand running through his hair softly. He leans into her touch.

"So, are we…." He doesn't yet know how to finish the sentence, but she knows what he's after.

"Well," she kisses his neck, "If its all right with you" she licks behind his ear, "I'd like for us to work through this," she presses a kiss to his temple, "and every other challenge," she presses a quick kiss to his lips "together."

"Perfect," he replies, a broad smile before he draws her in for a deep passionate kiss.

She's naked in his arms, and as his hands wander and grope shamelessly at her ass, it has her chuckling a bit into the kiss.

"Laughing at me?" he mutters between kisses down her neck. God, his mouth is amazing. "I'm offended."

She rocks herself against him, the thin fabric of his boxer briefs the only thing separating them.

"No, you're not." she replies with a sly smile, and she shifts up, still straddled against him. "You don't  _ feel  _ offended." She thrusts her hips and rocks into him hard as if to make the point and he smiles sheepishly, all but conceding the point.

"Come here," he says, holding his arms out to her. She moves her body back down over him and kisses him deeply.

He grabs her and flips her just then, so he's on top of her.

She goes willingly. She loves that about him, that confidence he has around her. Even now, when things are...difficult. He still has that way about him.

"Lay back. I've missed you. I have some loss time to make up for."

She rolls her eyes and tries to bite back a smile.

He shifts her legs, moving them apart and positions himself so he's sitting between them, takes one of her legs and draws up and over his crossed leg, his hand stroking up from her ankle to her hip.

Regina arches her back, sighs into the light touch and sighs.

"God I love that," Robin groans, "love when you move like that."

"Fuck me," she sighs, rocking her hips, trying to find his hand, some part of him to rock against.

"I am," he says, hands grazing up and down her thighs, far where she needs him. She lets out a frustrated puff of air.

"It's been so long," she nearly whines. It's not exactly true, hasn't been that long, but it's felt long, hasn't it?

"That's why I'm not going to rush it," he says, fingers coast between her thighs, when they dip between her folds and feels how wet she already is he gives himself a moment, closes his eyes and moans.

"I want you inside me now," she begs, and he shakes his head no.

"You're so beautiful like this," his whispers, rubbing a hand up her body and then smoothing back down her side, "naked and wet and ready for me."

"Robin…" she sighs. His eyes darken at the sound of his name from her lips, and she can almost wait it out, can almost bear this teasing torture knowing that it's having the same effect on him. She reaches down underneath his briefs and grabs his cock, giving it a firm stroke, watching his eyes flutter shut.

He leans down over her, braces himself with an elbow anchored right by her head, and then reaches for her neck with his free hand and draws her into a kiss.

She doesn't break, continues to stroke his cock as they kiss, and she revels in the way he pants and moans into the kiss.

"Slower," he pleads as he rips his mouth from hers, breathing heavy, and she laughs a bit at his desperation. He pouts a bit in response, pretending her laughter has hurt him, but when she tilts her head skeptically he bites his lip in a coy smile.

She does slow her strokes, but sh squeezes a bit tighter, so each stroke is stronger, more firm, drawing out sighs, and she feels him jerk himself into her, thrusting his hips in a steady rhythm until it must be too much, because he stills and moves her hand away.

He kisses down her neck, moving his body down so he can kiss a straight line down her body, giving care to detour to swirl his tongue and suck each nipple as he travels down. He presses a sucking kiss into her belly button, and it tickles just a bit, has her stomach muscles clenching and trembling.

This time, doesn't think of her sister, doesn't worry that this isn't what he wants. Not anymore. When he hooks her thighs over his shoulders and presses his head between her thighs, he looks at her like this is all he ever wanted.

"So wet," he mutters into her sex, and she feels his hot breath against her, so close to where she wants him.

"Robin, please…"

She feels his tongue firmly sliding through her folds, one firm, teasing lick from bottom all the way to her clit. And then he just devours her whole, tongue thrusting in and out of her as he drinks her in, each firm, frenzied laps, sucking and groaning into her, tongue exploring everywhere, briefly thrusting against her clit before moving elsewhere.

It's torture, his tongue just touching her clit on random strokes of the tongue, working her up, but not making her spill over…. but it's hot, the way he eats at her like he was starving, and she knows, can feel herself growing wetter, if it were possible, hears the way he responds to it, the way he moans in response to her ever growing arousal.

She feels him move to where she's been desperate for him just then, stretching and pointing his tongue as he firmly darts against her, and god, that's good, that's what she's wanted now, those licks, that firm, warm friction he's given her before that she found herself craving since their first time, was never really to say goodbye to forever, not really.

He's grinding against her now, strongly, and she feels herself arching and writhing in response to each movement. She can hear his muffled moans, his hard swallows, can almost feel how much this turns on  _ him  _ and it's one of the many things she loves about him, how much he loves seeing to her, truly enjoys making her feel good.

Her hands are threading through his hair now and she's pulling at it, holding onto it tight.

She feels him suck gently at her clit, and looks down at him then to see he's looking up at her. He's quite a sight, red faced and sweaty between her thighs, hair completely disheveled (her fault she knows, she'd been tugging at it). Eyes dark and desperate, but searching for her approval, making sure it's not too much. She nods and smiles let's out a  _ please, yesss _ , and he returns to his task, lips wrapped around her clit as he sucks deeply, tongue flicking against her as he does.

It's all she needed to come apart, and she does. It feels like being weightless for a moment, and then the tingly feeling wraps around her, making her feel so giddy, so light. She cries out loudly and uninhibited, unrestrained by past demons or fears or worries.

Robin doesn't stop, keeps sucking and lapping, until it's too much, until she squeaks and uses those hands in his hair to pull him  _ away  _ from her, earning a chuckle from him when she does.

"God, you make me come so hard," she says between quick breaths, and it earns a groan out of him, and good. It should.

"You taste…. _ god. _ " He moves up her body quickly, drawing her in for a kiss, his face still flushed, skin hot and damp, mouth still tasting like her, breathing still jagged and irregular.

"You okay?" she asks teasingly when they come up for air.

"More than okay," he says, kissing her nose quick, "I could do that all day."

She laughs at that, draws her hand down to wear he's hard, so hard, almost throbbing hard and reminds him, "you need love too."

He chuckles and then confesses, "you have no idea how close I was to coming just then, when you were off like that...I'm going to need a minute to cool off."

She shakes her head, hooks her fingers into his briefs and slides them off.

"I want you. Now."

He bites his lip when she strokes him, his eyes screw tight while he lets out a puff of air.

"I'm not going to...I won't last."

"I don't care. I want to be close to you," she begs.

Something in him snaps, as if he's giving himself permission to do this, and he bends over her, hooks her leg over his shoulder, uses his hand to guide himself, and pushes into her deeply and quickly, letting out a whimper and a  _ Jesus _ at the same time she sighs and lets out a choked  _ oh! _

He's propped up on a bended elbow, his body is over her, god, he's a fine specimen of a human being. Strong muscular arms and a well defined chest. She lets her eyes roam over him, as she scratches up his back.

Her hips rock against him, she grabs his ass, digging fingernails into the flesh of his ass, urging him to move.

"God, I love that." he groans

"I need you," she sighs, "please, I want to feel you, I want it…" she trails off, suddenly shy.

"How do you want it?" he asks between clenched teeth, staring at her with hungry eyes.

She closes her eyes, takes in a shaky breath. And opens them, stares back at him. "Hard. Fast."

He curses loudly, draws his free arm under her and brings her closer to him while he thrusts in deeply.

He's far too close for her to even think of coming agin, can feel it in how tight his muscles are, in the square of his jaw, the way he's looking at her, how he's biting his tongue, but god, he's taking her deep, so deep, the thrusts are long and quick and rough, and it's what she wants, exactly what her body has been calling out for.

"God don't stop" she finds herself sighing, her body writhing underneath him, and he almost whines in response, his hand grips her back tighter, he straightens the bent arm he was propped against, eyes screwed tight now. Determined to try. Just the image of him like that excites her, sends a shock of electricity straight down to her clit.

"Love the way you feel," he grunts between shuddered breaths, "so warm, so fucking tight around me, love that - just that, love when you squeeze around me, so much, so so much,  _ fuck, Regina, I'm going to come so hard…." _

She nods,she knows, she won't quite get there, but she wants to feel him pulsing and moving inside her the way he does when he lets go, so she urges him on, meeting each vigorous thrust with a moan.

"Regina, I'm — you feel — you're the best, the only —- _ Christ,  _ I love you so much, so so much, I'm— "

"I love you too." she pants in return, and she kisses him hard, stops him from babbling, because she knows he's a second from apologizing for finishing before she can muster another climax and he needn't, feeling close to him is enough, more than enough.

He moans hard into the kiss, and she feels him throbbing inside her, the erratic strokes she already knows well, she wraps one of her legs around his torso tight and pulls him closer to her.

He lowers her leg off his shoulder, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh as he lets it fall, and then slides next to her and spoons her.

He's warm and solid behind her, his body is taut from days of hiking with little to eat, but the way he strokes her arm is tender.

She could lay like this forever.

But she's never been one to have time for sweet moments like this, where they trade lazy kisses and enjoy feeling each other again, it's only a few moments of tender caresses and whispered words of affection before something glows and blinks in her pile of clothes.

"The communication stone." Regina says, jumping up. She answers Robin's confused look, "It's, it's Henry."

She runs to it, naked, and worried. She's about to answer it thank god Robin's a bit ahead of the gang. "Might want to put something on first, yeah?!" he asks her cheekily.

That's right. When she answers this, Henry will see her.

She magics herself back into a robe, adjusts it to hide it from looking to risque, smooths her hair (it's still damp from the shower, a bit messy from their romp, but Henry would never guess  _ that  _  is what she was up to,still, it feels better fix it) She looks at Robin for approval, to make sure she looks presentable for her poor son, and he laughs, smiles, as he slides back into his shorts.

She answers the stone then, sees Henry's face appear.

"Henry! I've got good news. We found Merlin —"

"Mom, listen to me!" the stone almost shakes with his scream. "Mom, she's got it. She's got the dagger. I saw it!"


	13. Chapter 13

“Mom, listen to me!” the stone almost shakes with his scream.  “Mom, she’s got it. She’s got the dagger. I saw it!”

“How did you -  What is she doing now?”

“We’re in Grandpa’s safe room” he says, pointing the stone around so she can see who is there.  She spots Roland sleeping next to Belle, who is feeding Neal. Rumple, still apparently unconscious, is asleep in a bed, an IV dripping near him.  Someone thought quick, and thank god for that. He spins to the final corner of the room and oh god, a pregnant Zelena, wearing magical cuffs along with real ones, against the side of the door.”

“I saw it sticking out of her boot this morning.  She was acting weird. She kept asking about Zelena and where I thought you had her hiding.  She said it was because she was worried about me, that she thought Zelena was dangerous, but mom, I just knew, I could  _ feel  _ her being different.”

Regina takes in a breath, clenching her hands into tight fists.  Oh, of course Zelena would be the next target. The father of Emma’s child, the one who so callously tried to steal the Charming’s child, of course, she’d be next.  She had thought Gold, but with him incapacitated...no…

“Who got you there so quickly?” Regina asks, “and is it safe, I need to know if —”

Belle intercepts, “Rumple enchanted a room behind his shop.  There’s a protection spell from dark magic. Even he couldn’t enter the room, not before…” she pauses to swallow heavy.  Regina fights her instincts to beg her to  _ get on with it  _ and instead lets her pause, gives a moment of reverence to the sacrifice Rumple has made.  She gives a slight nod of understanding, and then Belle, the strong one she is, is continuing,  “It’s supposed to hide us here, but you know, you can’t hide well from the dark one. I put him here after Isaac went missing.  I just had a bad feeling. And when Henry said he saw Emma with the dagger, well, before we confirmed…”

“Blue?” Regina asks, with a raise of her eyebrows.  

Belle sighs, “She admitted that Emma got it from her.  She seemed to think Emma could control herself, so she didn’t want to worry anyone, but…”

That fucking moth.  Good for nothing. She thought for sure Blue would at least respect and fear the power of the dark one, at least she’d be good for this, but….

“Where’s Hook?” she asks, exasperated.

“He said he is going to talk to her and get the dagger from her, he’s convinced he can do it, but…”

“He’s an idiot,” Regina sighs, “an idiot in love, I suppose, but an idiot nonetheless.”

“Do you know the spell?” Belle asks, “How Rumple blocked this room off?  He said it was safe, Regina, he told me I was even safe from  _ him,  _ if he…”

She doesn’t know the spell.  Has no clue how to keep a dark one out, god damn it, she  _ wishes  _ she did.  And Rumple, he’s a liar, isn’t he?  Conniving, in every way. It would be just like him to ease Belle’s mind, to assure her she had a place of safety, when instead it was merely a house of cards that Emma could blow up with a strong breath.

Shit.

But there’s no sense worrying anyone.

“I don’t know it,” Regina admits, “But Rumple would never share that with me.  He knows I would have used that ages ago. To keep him out when…”

Well, Belle knows the many times Regina tries to leave the darkness, before it finally washed over her and made her part of it.

Belle nods, and clears her throat.  “We’re fine here, Regina. A little cramped, but safe.  How close are you to finding Merlin?”

“It doesn’t matter now.  I’m coming back, I just...I need to find our way home, but then—”

“Regina, I just told you. We’re  _ fine.  _ We need Merlin.  I’ve got this.”

They’re not fine, not fine at all.  She left her son in danger, the worst has happened, and it’s  _ Emma,  _ his mother, she cannot bear to have him see his other mother turn into a monster.  He’s already had to suffer the monster that she is, Emma was his good thing, the good mother, the good parent, the one he could take comfort and solace in, and she won’t let this be taken, never—-

Strong hands ground her, rub her back lightly.  “Are you alright, love?” HIs breath is hot in her ear, the feel of it soothing, like stepping into a warm bath.  It’s only then she realizes she’s shaking.

“Belle, just stay there.  You call me the moment you hear her, sense her…”

“You know, I could be of assistance if I wasn’t prevented from using magic I could be quite helpful right about now,” Zelena snarks in the background. 

“Magic is tempermental when you’re pregnant,” she seethes, “you’d be of no assistance in doing much, except possibly hurting yourself.  Plus, you’d be knocked out of that room the second you got your magic back.”

“Does the pirate know where you are?” she asks Henry, her breath catching, giving her fear away ever so slightly.

She sees Henry recognize that fear.  his eyes narrow. “He doesn't know, mom.”

Regina lets out a long breath she didn't know she was holding in.  “Good. I need you to not tell him. He can be manipulated into telling Emma.  It is going to be hard for him to see that she's… been corrupted by the darkness.”

But she needn't explain.  Belle knows this better than anyone.

“That's why I insisted we not tell him, Henry.”

“With Rumple in a coma and Zelena cuffed...you are defenseless.  I'm going to have to return, there's no one with magic..”

“We can get Blue!” Henry offers.

“No, no no.   _ Not  _ her.  Tinker belle.  But I don't know how you can get to her, leaving the room is dangerous.”

Belle groans. “We have cell phones, But also…” she opens a suitcase that's been out of Regina's view.  “Rumple has, err, a, fairy summoning spell?”

Of course he would.  Regina rolls her eyes.  “Fairy  _ summoning  _ spell?” 

“Look he was obsessed with fairies, okay?  but I can.. I can get her here. Provided there's no dark magic in her.”

Well… that's...good.  better than trying to have Tink wander around Gold’s office looking for an entrance.  The last thing she needs is Emma watching over her, looking for a way in.”

“Once she gets there, get her to bring in Ruby and Granny.  They may be helpful—”

“We tried, mom!  the room wouldn't let them in.”

_ What? _

_ “ _ What do you mean?  Ruby and Granny are heroes.”

“I believe their… ability may be seen as dark magic.  It's the only thing that makes sense,” Belle explains with a shrug.

“But it let  _ Zelena  _ in?” Regina snorts.  Zelena says something she can’t quite catch, but it sounds sarcastic and biting in tone.

“I… assumed it was the cuffs.  Or maybe the child inside her…” Belle fidgets.  “I’m not sure. Anyway, Ruby and Granny can’t help, neither can Zelena. But fairies only deal with light.  I'll get Tinkerbelle. We can hold out a little longer. Try to get Merlin. Give it a few more days—”

“A few more  _ days?!?”  _ Regina asks incredulously. “Are you insane?  My son is holed up in some shoddy bunker while one of the most powerful sorcerers I've ever seen is the new dark one.  I'm going home.”

“Mom, no—-”

“Non-negotiable.” Regina says, going to close the stone, but Robin’s hand is on hers, stopping her.  She shoots him a look, defensive and angry, ready to battle on this point, But his eyes remain kind, and his hand steady and calm.  How can he be so calm?

“Henry, send my love to Roland,” he says with a smile.  “I know he can be a terror if you wake him before he's ready so please let him sleep.” Henry laughs, lets out a  _ he sure can be,  _ and promises to give Roland a hug from his papa.  And Regina softens, but the worry, the overwhelming worry, the desire to fix and protect and be there to absorb any shots aimed in the general direction of her son.  It's still there, but now she feels less in caught in a tailspin, feels the clarity to think beyond all these emotions.

“Your mother and I can't wait days for Merlin.  But we will try to wait as long as we can. I know you’re worried about Emma, but we're worried about you.  Do you understand?”

“But if you don't get Merlin what will happen to my mom?  She  _ needs  _ him, she could be hurt—-”

“If your mum has to go back, I'll stay here and continue the search.” He ignoring her cold hard stare, she knows he feels it, because that is  _ not  _ a plan, she wants him with her and safe in that room, she wants to protect everyone she loves and he is  _ one  _ of those people, she will not risk him where she can't protect him, he could be hurt, he could be— “I won't come back until I find Merlin.” He has the  _ audacity  _ to promise, and she's going to kill him, she is.

“Thanks Robin!” Henry chirps.  “I love you, mom. Don't worry about me.”

“Not possible.” Regina says sternly.  “You call me the second you so much as  _ hear  _ anything suspicious.”

She closes the stone, and then looks up at Robin with wild, terrified eyes.  “We hid one of the potions to get home in the hole of a tree in the forest, before the guards took us.  I need to remember where, exactly, recall that memory.. and then I can conjure it, but… it's hard, Robin, I don't know this land, and my baby, he's—”

“ _ Shh,”  _ Robin says, putting arms around her, “breathe, my love.”

She surprises even herself when she accepts the hug.  It helps, grounds her a bit, helps her think. He's warm, smells of soap, a bit like sweat, like  _ his sweat,  _ which she actually quite likes, it's masculine, slightly sweet with a hint of earthiness… he always did smell like forest.

_ “ _ if you think I'm going to let you stay behind, you have completely lost your mind,” she mutters into his chest. She feels his body shake in laughter.

“The trouble with being an outlaw is we tend not to take orders from royals,” Robin reminds, his voice cool and non-argumentative.

“You can be  _ cute _ some other time,” Regina snarks, pulling back.  “Do you not understand how serious this is?  _ My son  _ is in danger.”

“I do,” Robin answers, and then reminds her, “my son is there too.”

That’s right.  She exhales long and slow.  “And I don’t know how to get us home.  I’ll torture it out of the guards, they confiscated everyone else’s potions, they have to know where they are in the castle maybe —”

Robin is distracting her, walking around the room now, picking up his clothes.  Is he about to walk out on her? At this point in time?

“Is this what you are looking for?”  Robin produces a vile, and a piece of cloth.  Their ride home. He’s had, apparently, all along.  And she doesn’t know whether to kiss him or kill him for not telling her sooner.

“How did you—”

“I nicked it off of the guard after he took it from  me,” he explains with a shrug, “you do remember I’m a thief by trade, do you not?”

She rolls her eyes, and smiles.  “We all need to go back.”

“Maleficent,” he reminds her, and yes, they cannot leave her friend there.

The vial should have enough for 2 doses.  Split the cloth into two and leave half of it for her when she returns.  Mal would understand.”

“Lily won’t leave her mum,” Robin argues, “And she’s not safe here alone.  I’ll stay.”

Why does he have to be so frustrating?  Can’t he just accept her plan, just do things her way?  She’s handled situations like these so many times before, and he’s infuriating, this beautiful man now dressing in front of her.  

“We’re leaving  _ now. _ ” She says in her loudest, evil-queen-iest voice, but he’s not intimidated by her, never has been, can only smile back at her like a lovesick puppy.

“Okay, new plan.  Henry will call you if anything happens and we will use the vial immediately if it does.  You’ll be transported in a second.” She goes to protest but he waves a hand in the air, “and I will go with you.  As will the Charmings. But not now. Let’s give it one night. We’ll sleep in shifts. If we abandon this trip to find Merlin, we risk quite a bit fighting Emma.  We could hurt her, yeah? We want to do this the right way. As scary as it is.”

It’s terrible that he’s making sense right now.  Absolutely terrible. 

And it’s absolutely terrible to have to nod her head (it physically hurts to give in like this, the simple movement of her neck feels like daggers against her head, giving up, losing her argument, this feels like  _ defeat  _ and it’s  _ wrong  _ to agree to any plan to leave her child), but it truly is the best option.

.::.

“I don’t see why there’s any immediate danger,” Snow protests, hands crossed.  “Emma is not going to seriously hurt any family member. I don’t believe she killed Isaac.”  Snow pauses, taking a big breath in, “But even if she  _ did... _ who is to say it wasn’t in self defense?   He taunted us, expressed no remorse, if he escaped he would have gone after us....”

Regina pinches her nose in exasperation.  She feels Robin’s hand on the small of her back, it’s comforting, warm.  Grounds her. “He couldn’t have escaped that jail, Snow. We knew that before we left.”

“Regina’s right, Snow.  You know she is.” Robin says softly, “this brings none of us pleasure to admit, but —” 

“Maybe he had help from someone who wasn’t Emma?” Snow asks desperately, reaching for something, anything to make this not her daughter, to keep the image of her daughter pure and clean and unadulterated by darkness.  And Regina can only look at her with pity. She can’t imagine what she’d feel if she heard Henry had killed someone, Dark One or not.

“Going after Isaac is one thing, going after the innocent is another.  The rest of storybrooke should be safe. Even Zelena is carrying an innocent child.  She will be safe. We can wait. Henry will tell us if we need to return. We need Merlin.  I don’t want to battle against our daughter.”

“You truly think Zelena’s child will save her?” Regina scoffs, “A child that Emma, in her blind rage, may blame as much as the mother.  Because that’s how darkness works. You see things how you want to see them to fit in with your urges. Emma wants Zelena dead. She knows she can’t kill her without killing the child.  If she wants to kill her badly enough, she’s going to convince herself that the child will be evil. To fit her narrative. Trust me, I’ve been there. That’s what darkness  _ does. _ ”

She stares pointedly at Snow.  Looks her in the eyes until Snow can  _ feel  _ the depths of Regina’s words, see the analogy to her own childhood, and understand.  It’s not until Snow diverts her eyes to the floor that Regina thinks she has truly understood.

She’s about to explain that other people in town aren’t so innocent, either, and Emma can pounce on  _ them  _ too, when a loud gust erupts through the castle.  The room shakes, ever so slightly, but no one stirs.  Regina recognizes the telltale signs of magic, and rushes out of the room, ready to fight.

“Regina!”

Mal appears in the doorway, a serene smile on her face.  And well, that’s...surprising. She looks lighter, younger, happier than she’s seen her in forever.  It’s a Mal she’s rarely seen before. Perhaps moments, in the afterglow of their times together, a few times when they’ve reminisced together.  But this version of Mal is rarely seen in the world, and it’s a pity. 

“I found him, Regina, I found him.”

And there, standing before her, in all  his glory, is Merlin. He’s an older man, dark skinned (unsurprising, history and legends tend to whitewash people into white men, don’t they?), dressed in simple robes, yet somehow he has a commanding presence and looks regal.  He practically  _ floats  _ towards them, graceful step after graceful step.  

“MERLIN??” Author calls incredulously, “You, where did you go?  We could have protected you, why did you leave?”

“All in due time, my boy,” Merlin replies, cool and steady.  The words have a calming effect on the whole room, and the rumbling of the prisoners die down.

They respect him, it seems.

Mal throws arms around her daughter — a daughter that would have shirked away from such public affection from her estranged mother a few days ago, but now welcomes the embrace with open arms.

Suddenly there are seats arranged in a circle in the hall where they are standing, and Merlin sits down, urging others to do the same.  Mal takes a seat to his left, motioning Regina to take the seat to his right.

“You of course, know everyone,” Mal says.

“Of course.  Snow White and David.  Robin Locksley, known as ‘Robin Hood’ to some, Regina, and…”his eyes settle on Lily, “Lily, my you have grown into a beautiful girl.”

“We need to get to Storybrooke.  Now.” Regina says, Emma has the dagger.  She's killed already, I'm quite sure, and my son—”

“We have time my dear,” Merlin says, motioning her to sit, “You worry about your son.  You worry he’s not safe in that room that the Dark One built. He did in fact build a room impenetrable by those with  _ dark  _ magic. ”

“How do you know this?” Regina asks.

I can't see everything in this world, but I can see when light and dark magic are tampered with.”

“Tampered with?” Snow asks, throwing a guilty glance in Lily’s direction.  she took Lily’s lightness and replaced it with Emma's darkness. 

“Ahh yes, what you and David did to Emma and Lily,” he says with a wave of his hand. “That wasn't dark or light  _ magic,  _ it was the essence of a person.  You took the light and poured it into your daughter.  Very unwise...but in this case, it may save your daughter the fate Rumple suffers, if Lily is willing to help.”

“I don't understand,” Snow murmurs.

“When you took the lightness from Lily and put Enmas darkness inside her, you forever connected the two.  It became like...a vacuum, you may call it, in Storybrooke. It sucked out Emma’s darkness into Lily. When Emma became the dark one it disrupted that process.  The dark one sought to eat away at Emma’s lightness, to corrupt her purity. But instead, that lightness l flowed out of her and back into LIly. Haven’t you noticed the change in her?”

Regina had.  Subtle, but there.  

“I’ve felt different,” Lily acknowledges, “freer.  I feel like I can relate to people more, I’m less...angry.”

“You’re a lighter soul now.  Emma’s lightness flowed into you to escape the Dark One from corrupting it. Which is good, it means there is light that can be returned to Emma..”

“No!” Mal cries, but Merlin holds a hand up to her, “Only if Lily agrees, of course.  The light was taken from Lily against her will before.” He turns to the charmings and holds out his hand.  “I won’t have anyone do it again.”

The Charmings lose their ability to stay silent then, nervous fidgeting boils over into uncontrollable desperation.  

“Merlin, Emma needs it without it —” 

Merline silences David with a wave of his hand.  “Lily, there is a solution, but it involves you. Before we discuss I must know your thoughts.”

All eyes fall on Lily.  How different she looks, Regina notes, from the first time she laid eyes on her.  She’s lost that anger, that suspicious glare she has with every new person she meets.  She stares at each person in the room, contemplating her fate slowly. “I’ll lose this feeling.” she acknowledges thinking back on the last few days, “I’ll be dark again.  Does that I mean I will be….will I be evil?”

“No no dear.  You were never evil.  And we will split the light and the darkness.  Emma’s earned some darkness. I can see she’s killed a man and that death was unwarranted.  You won't carry that for her. It’ll be split between you.”

Mal’s leg is shaking, hands clasped tightly in front of her.  But something in the moment has her breaking her forced silence, and she cannot help but intervene. “Lily, you don’t have to —-”

But her daughter shakes her head slowly.  “It’s alright, mom. I know I don’t have to.  But…” she takes a deep breath in. “I’ll do it. Anything else would be unfair.  It wasn’t right what Snow and David did, but if I kept this lightness, it wouldn’t be fair to Emma.  So I’m in.”

Regina studies her carefully.  It’s no small matter, losing lightness like that — especially for someone who full well knows what she’s opening herself up to. But the prospect of losing the lightness does not agitate, does not itch at Lily.  She looks serene, at peace with her decision. And Regina raises an eye to Mal, who handles the news much more like Regina would. Her daughter will suffer again due to well-meaning heroes who have orphaned her, corrupted the very essence of who she is.  And now she’s sacrificing for her. Again. 

But Mal is letting her do it.  Merlin must have talked to her before this, calmed her down, assured her it was alright.  .

“Is there no other way?” Robin asks, discomfort coloring every syllable.  Regina looks at him, notices the sllightly paler hue of his skin the way his muscles have stiffened and worked their way into a tense, uncomfortable posture.  He’s a father, afterall. He must on some level feel for Lily and what has happened to her. And then she recalls when Roland needed to be used to find Peter Pan...and perhaps this is a bit too close to home.  She reaches a hand to his and squeezes tightly. 

This isn’t easy for anyone.

Merlin acknowledges Lily’s sacrifice with kind eyes and a thankful nod.  “Lily, we owe you a debt of gratitude.”

“Truly,” Snow whispers, “we truly do.”

And Regina hadn’t noticed the guilt Snow carries before, not under the layers of worry for her daughter, in the layer of protection that come in false assurances that  _ Emma can do no wrong  _ and  _ Emma is more important than others.  _ But it’s there, and suddenly, her attitude makes sense.  She’s committed an unspeakable atrocity, and the only way she’s been able to live with herself is by telling herself lies about who Lily is, and who she would become.

And now Lily is a wonderful, beautiful soul, and it’s hard, thinking of her as anything but We need a plan relatively soon.  Though that room protects from  _ dark magic,  _ it doesn’t protect against those with light magic.”

“Light magic can’t be used in a destructive way,” Regina points out, quickly, because it can’t, it’s all light and honest and pure and good, and all decidedly  _ not  _ her.

“Oh, my darling, of course it can.  Just as dark magic can be used for good.  Why, all of my dragons,” he points to Arthur and the men, “have  _ dark  _ magic.”

“It’s not dark magic!” Arthur argues, “It’s noble, it’s magic for the protection of our kingdom, that’s why you gave it to me it —”

“Use it for good?” Merlin laughed, for the first time he seems anything but calm, “You went on a  _ massacre  _ to kill all those who had dark magic.  Magic - by the way - that you possessed yourself.  You killed women and children and made a display of it like it ”  He turns to Arthur, apologetic. “And I tried to teach you this, my boy, tried to tell you of second chances and of the fact that everything is not black and white in life, but you wouldn’t listen.  You didn’t even recognize what you became as you tortured and killed innocent children whose only crime was using magic to steal food off of carts. You promised to save the kingdom from monsters. You didn’t even recognize that the only true monster in this kingdom was  _ you. _ “

The room is a stunned silence. It’s not a scene Regina is unfamiliar with — her own dark past involved misusing power to torture the innocent.  But not children, and never in the name of  _ good. _  She embraced her title as the Evil Queen, never pretended to be noble or good.  It takes a special person to do that. She pictures the slaughtering of mothers, children, infants.  Arthur’s dark past rivaled her own.

Arthur breaks the silence with some desperate attempt to sound indignant, though he seems to know arguing is a lost cause.  “I protected them from Morgan! She burned villages. Morgan was set to destroy the entire kingdom due to her magic.”

“Morgan’s actions are inexcusable,” Merline admits, “though she never tried to twist the evil she did into good.  Of course, since she was a child everyone had told her she was evil, even her own brother. A brother who spent his life being jealous of the power and magic his sister possessed, and was dedicated to destroying her for it.”  For a second Merlin transforms from a serene man to a trouble one. He gives himself a moment to settle, the bubbling boiling anger turning to a simmer, cooling. HIs face relaxes, and he starts again. “You both lost love. You could have suffered together.  Instead you blamed her, cursed her, banished her. That is the fate Morgan was handed. A family that made her into the monster she believed herself to be. “

One of the guards speaks up.    “But how can you say this? That woman...she — she left you for dead, she…”

Merlin laughs.  “Mm, trapped in this palace.  If you hadn’t noticed, she gave me everything I could ever want here.”  He motions around the castle, and you cannot deny that the place is lavish and comfortable, with nearly everything a person could  _ want  _ let alone  _ need. _  “She even created an escape route.  Whether she did so subconsciously or not, she had no plans of doing anything but getting a head start so she could stop battling her darkness and give into it.  I was the only one holding Morgan back. Everyone else, including her own family, was pushing her towards her dark fate. So for my time in here, however brief, I blame  _ you.”  _ Merlin points at Arthur.  “But we’ve discussed this, haven’t we?  You never listened. Ignored me, as if I were a bumbling old man.”

“Where did you go this time?  You left, and we looked for you...but where did you go?” Arthur asks meekly, his voice breaking slowly at the end.

“I had to rescue the persecuted, Arthur.  I could not sit back and watch you destroy the innocent.  I’ve been finding those with magic, light and dark, and taking them out of the kingdom.  One with a better ruler.”

Arthur looks like he’s been punched in the gut, and his guards appear to be doing no better.  There’s an appropriate silence while they watch for them to speak up, but there are no more words of protests.  

“So are there no more questions, Arthur?” Merlin asks, pausing for a beat.  “Well then, let’s get back to Emma. I know you are concerned about her,” he speaks to Mary Margaret.  “Emma cannot use dark magic to get at your loved ones. But she can use someone with light magic to get to them.  As I said, light magic does not mean a good person. It does not mean that they will only use magic for good. A true love’s kiss has been used to wage many wars, to destroy many worlds.”

Suddenly it all registers.  It’s something Regina has never let herself consider, she loathed herself.  She loathed her mother. She loathed everyone she’d ever encountered with dark magic, everyone who was born with that version of magic innate within themselves.  She never considered that being born with dark magic meant anything other than being born a dark, evil person.

But now Merlin has forced her to reexamine that belief, and now suddenly she doesn’t view everyone with dark magic as bad, or everyone with light magic as good, which means...

“Blue.” Regina stutters, looking up at Merlin, “I trusted the dagger to Blue, knowing her magic didn’t mix with the Dark Ones, so she couldn’t use it. And I thought., she is a fairy, her magic…”

“You thought, deep down, she must be a good person,” Merlin finishes for her, “Blue tries. But she sees things in black and white.  And they are not, not ever. She sees dark magic much the way Arthur does. She never would believe Emma could do anything wrong, nor you anything right.  She’s easily manipulated. She uses her magic in accordance to her beliefs. She won’t help those born of dark magic, focuses her powers and efforts only to those who were born lighter.  It doesn’t sound that dangerous, but it is.”

“We need to get back,” Regina says with a sigh, “NOW.”

“We’ll need this,” Merlin poofs excalibur.  “It’s a vessel. You will have to use the dagger.”  I’ve seen several scenarios of how this will go, but I believe it must be  _ you  _ Regina.  You will have to stab her. The darkness will flow from her into you, but I can enchant excalibur.  It’s strong enough to divert the darkness. It will take the dark one’s form and trap it inside it.”

“And our daughter?” Snow asks, “Emma, you’ll just have her stabbed…”

“A healing potion, on the dagger.” Merlin explains, “It’ll heal what is cut, hopefully it will heal slowly enough to work.”

“How do we get the dagger from Emma?” Snow asks.

And that is where Merlin can only shrug.  “I cannot see how that is done.” But that is all we must do.”

“We’ll come up with a plan, Snow,” Regina promises, “this is a good start.”

“And what will become of us?” Arthur shouts, “Merlin, will you have us stay here, to starve, or freeze, or-- “

“You will do neither,” Merlin says with a shrug.  “You shall have your bellies full and your bones warm, which is more than you deserve.  But I cannot return you to your kingdom. You’re too dangerous, Arthur. I shall deal with you when I return.”

The next few hours are spent formulating a plan to get the dagger from Emma.  Snow and David’s plan is to simply ask the girl for it, and it’s laughable, how pathetically optimistic they still can be.  Robin is confident he can steal from the dark one given a reasonable distraction (she won’t consider it, Robin won’t get close enough to touch her).  Maleficent and Regina’s plan is enter battle with Emma. To stun her, to take the dagger by sheer force. (It’s suicidal, but when has that ever stopped them?).  Lily is silent, contemplative, for a good portion of their discussion. They argue back and forth, heated and passionate. And in the midst, Merlin takes Regina’s hand in his and looks into her eyes.

Flashes of memories — no, not memories, of events  _ yet  _ to happen — flash through her eyes.

And that’s it.  That’s how it’s done.

She locks eyes with Merlin and nods slowly.  And then she excuses herself to get a glass of water, trying to keep her breathing steady, her pace slow, her head held high… anything to not give herself away.

She’s filling a glass with enchanted water in the kitchen when she feels warm breath on her ear.  

“Are you alright, love?” God, she loves this man.  Loves him to death (doesn’t like that phrase, shouldn’t use that phrase).  But his voice is rich and smooth like honey, yet it sets a storm of emotions sweeping up inside her. Emotions she has to temper down, for now is not the time.  

So instead of telling him what is wrong, here, now,  she tells a lie. Hopefully the last lie she will ever tell him.  “Yes, I’m fine, why?”

“Just looked a bit peckish,” Robin says, reaching to tenderly kiss her brow.  “I love you, you know.”

She’s never going to deny him those words again, and so she returns the sentiment.  “I love you too. Very much so.” He smiles, looking every bit pleased at himself for getting yet another ‘i love you’ out of her, and then he wraps arms around her, and leads her back to the others.

They continue to form a plan for how to get the dagger from Emma, but Regina doesn’t listen to any of it.  Afterall, she knows how to take the dagger. How to take the darkness out of Emma and destroy the dark one, once and for all.  Merlin showed her how. And it’s really quite easy.

All it will cost her is her life.


End file.
